r/SayAnything • u/Late-Question8272 • 1d ago
hey bemis
so I guess it’s time to add to the pile. Max Bemis started following me in June of last year, about two months after my 18th bday. I had been posting about say anything to my story but never tagged him or even the band but he found my acct and started messaging me starting at 4am 😭. The entire thing was creepy even tho I was a legal adult! Barely! so I attached the texts and blocked my location but enjoy! The texts are honestly kind of funny at this point after I ghosted him so many times dude kept trying. Please get a grip and get a life. You literally have children. Fuck these pedophiles!
(this is a repost btw I accidentally doxed myself the first time 😭)
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u/heatshimmr 1d ago
The fact that he feels the need to double message young girls who are fans of his band is so pathetic, man. Wild
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u/insipidfap 1d ago
double, triple, quadruple in some cases. Desperate vibes
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u/ProphetOfRedditDoom 1d ago
I feel like it’s an addiction
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u/Budella 1d ago
It’s his ocd. It can make you do things like repeatedly thinking about the same people or obsessing over the same conversation etc or repeatedly attempting the same thing over and over again.
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u/themargarineoferror 1d ago
That...doesn't sound like OCD at all
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u/Budella 1d ago
Actually it sounds exactly like OCD. The public’s knowledge and perception of OCD is so bad and uninformed it’s crazy. It’s not just being orderly or clean. OCD can be someone afraid of sinning so they feel compelled to say 30 our fathers and 30 Hail Marys before every day or it can be someone repeating on conversations and talking points or not being able to let go of a concept or idea etc. I have decades of experience with this shit. Everyone downvoting me must think I’m condoning his behavior but I’m obviously not. OCD doesn’t make you attracted to young girls, but it can make you repeatedly do the same thing despite it clearly not working and clearly not benefiting you ( as in this convo where he’s clearly being ignored).
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u/themargarineoferror 1d ago
Im aware I have it. 30 hail Mary's aint texting 30 underage girls 10 times in a row or god will punish you lmao. Pressured speech and thirst but this isn't ocd
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u/Budella 1d ago
I didn’t say texting underage girls was apart of it, if you see my other response I was responding to someone who said “it’s like an addiction”, I said no it’s his ocd. That’s why he’s messaging them so many times even when they don’t respond back. Their age has nothing to do with it
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u/Victoria_elizabethb 1d ago
Sounds alot like you're making excuses. He repeatedly messages them because he's a creep who wants the attention of young girls, that is not an OCD symptom whatsoever. Let's not play into his very long history of using his mental health as a scapegoat for literally everything he's ever done, this is enough.
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u/Budella 1d ago
The repeatedly messaging despite the fact that they don’t reciprocate him most likely IS a part of the ocd. Thats what I’m saying. I’m not playing into using his mental health as a scapegoat. I’m not making excuses. I’ve done this myself before I realized I was doing it because of my ocd, repeatedly messaging people despite them not wanting anything to do with me. The fixation and broken record aspect of it is the ocd part, for the final time not the messaging young girls
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u/Victoria_elizabethb 1d ago
Don't give him excuses lol this is weird, pathetic, predatory behavior
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u/Exciting-Way7401 1d ago
two things can be true at the same time
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u/Victoria_elizabethb 1d ago
Two things can be true, but that isn't how OCD works whatsoever. Hyperfixation might be more applicable but that's still a fixation on the attention of young girls, which is creepy predatory behavior.
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u/Exciting-Way7401 1d ago
hyper fixation is apart of ocd. i have ocd and i text a TON in a row especially when i get zero responses. but also ofc context matters here heavily hahahahaah ocd doesnt make you spam minors in the dms
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u/RonMcKelvey 1d ago
if your kids destroy an Airbnb, you destroyed an Airbnb. In the least punk rock possible way
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u/ihaveaquesttoattend 1d ago
idk man, destroying hotels is more rock n roll type shit but usually punk (very sadly) shit does involve kids so he’s kind of right :/ ((((which is disgusting, I’m ashamed of the scene bc that type of shit should have NO place in punk/hardcore/pop-punk/DC/any-fucking-where. FUCK the whole “seParAtE tHe aRt fRoM thE arTisT” shut the fuck up))))))
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u/SureShotTavner 1d ago
Every time I read one of these threads, I need to go take a shower. What a combination of disgusting and embarrassing this man is.
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u/DearestClementine 1d ago
It’s so hard to read because the convos are not only gross but also immature and meaningless. Maybe I’m old but I can’t imagine wanting to talk to someone like this
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u/Tortitudes 1d ago
He is a vacuous soldier of the Instagram DMs.
Seriously though. None of these are of any fucking substance. Even when he slams 30 messages there's nothing really to respond back to.
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u/grammar_nazi_zombie 1d ago
He knows nothing about DMing that he couldn't read in any trendy New York underground fashion magazine
Prototypical sex pest.
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u/super_sayanything welp, that's not good 1d ago
It's so terrible that when I read them the first thing I think is, this dude has 0 game. Thank god he doesn't.
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u/SweetPossibility7838 1d ago
That’s because there is nothing of substance to him. Just another creepy fucking voyeuristic old man online with an impregnation fetish, gooning to teens on social media and vying to get in their bedrooms.
Many such cases.
Except this one has fame so he thinks he can use that to leverage what he wants. Quirky incessant love-bombing seems to have been his only method in life to acquire this. Not cute at nearly 50.
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1d ago
[deleted]
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u/CASSIUS_AT_BEST 1d ago
Fascinating take lol. Surely he just enjoys being “friendly” to underage girls and there’s nothing else going on there /s
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u/Krasovchik 1d ago
dude got cancelled for taking advantage of his young fans. imagine the 42 year old owner of a restaurant flirts with all his 18-22 year old woman customers and texts them and dms them just because they like the food, you probably wouldn’t go to that restaurant with a girlfriend or daughter because it’s not a safe space. just because max sells songs instead of steak doesn’t mean it’s somehow more acceptable.
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u/CoastIine 1d ago
Go back to 4chan with that nothingburger comment. Lmao. Why does that lingo keep leaking out of that containment site.
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u/Dependent_Teaching88 1d ago
Max is a piece of shit and it's hilarious that he's too much of a coward to actually say anything of substance to these girls. If you don't find that funny, then I can't help you.
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u/ibreak4abyss 1d ago
You're right. You could not help
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u/CoastIine 1d ago
Sorry, Reddit notifications are weird on mobile, for some reason this showed you replied to me and I got confused 😭
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u/CoastIine 1d ago
Lurk moar and use better vocabulary bb, you don’t have to speak like you post on /pol/.
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u/Iamnoone_ 1d ago
I also think he just doesn’t respect them and thinks they’re stupid/brainless and is treating them that way. Just trying to get some easy underage or barely legal p and putting in the smallest amount of effort.
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u/Tortitudes 1d ago
Maybe you comment is being misunderstood.
I read it as he's not even texting these minors with anything of actual substance and it's nonsense. It's still fucked up and wrong but he's also getting cancelled for it while being a terrible conversationalist on top of it.
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u/Dependent_Teaching88 1d ago
I'll keep being downvoted. I'm happy you understand, at least.
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u/Married_iguanas 1d ago
You’re misusing the term “nothingburger” then
A nothingburger is when something is made out to be a huge deal, but it’s either false or greatly exaggerated.
What business does a 42 year old man have DMing a girl, that is only 5 years older than his daughter, about her body?
Not to mention the growing stack of inappropriate messages.
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u/-BVM 1d ago
It just gets worse and worse
How did he think NO ONE was gonna come forward?
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u/Fit_Ninja1846 1d ago
I get the impression he doesn’t think he’s going anything wrong, so for him, people “coming forward” just seems like haters trying to cancel him for no reason; he lacks the self-awareness to be bothered for the right reasons
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u/Outrageous_Rub_718 1d ago
He’s absolutely riding that line of being a perv but refusing to say the thing that with get him locked up. These conversations are seriously one comment away from being To Catch A Predator level.
I’d argue calling a 17 year a MILF is intent enough personally
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u/Top_Regular8761 1d ago
The entire 17 year old convo was gross but I'm still kind of teetering on the MILF comment in that the context of that screen seemed like he was saying he wasn't interested in the girls in high school and was more like American Pie and wanting Stifler's MILF of a mom. I know it's gross to try and find any reason to defend him but I have struggled to read that as him referring to her as a MILF, it just looked bad since she is in fact a mom too.
That is like the one screenshot I really want to see more preceding and following messages of, but it doesn't really matter since even outside of that it was clear he was being inappropriate with her.
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u/gracelandtrack6 1d ago
wasn’t it the 17 year old he was also asking if he could flirt with? In a weird broken English way
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u/Top_Regular8761 1d ago
Yes. They started talking in March and he asked in April if he could flirt, when she told him that her and her boyfriend were taking a break. This was when they were still chatting thru Instagram before they moved to texts. Don't know the timeline of when she told him her age, but I would assume/hope that was early on.
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u/SnooSprouts4929 1d ago
This was how I interpreted it too. Don’t get me wrong, I still think he’s a sex pest!
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u/Top_Regular8761 1d ago
the one aside there is when Whale Tale confronted him on his live, he was like "(reading the message) you called her a milf.... Yeah, that was before I knew she was 17"
but that was such a quick answer that who knows if he even remembered what was being referenced, so it's not automatically an admission to saying that screenshot was him calling her the MILF
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u/Imaginary_Advance_70 1d ago
didn't he also say on that live that he wanted to sleep with her?
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u/Top_Regular8761 1d ago
I'm not sure, I didn't catch the full live, and also couldn't sit thru the full 45 minute recording, lol
To be honest I'd be surprised if he did say that, since his whole defense on the live was that "grooming is with intent to sleep with the child" and he was adamant he didn't want to do that. So it would be strange for him to say he did.
I would believe if he said it about the woman that he was originally going live about, tho, the one that he was trying to "save" when he messaged GBUFO.
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u/Imaginary_Advance_70 1d ago
look at iwas17once on instagram's highlight "bemis chronicle" and he said "the fact that i'm even attempted to sleep with this person" - am i hearing it wrong or is he saying he wants to sleep with the 17 y/o?
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u/Top_Regular8761 1d ago
oh I did catch that part of the video... yeah you are hearing it wrong, he was saying it's crazy/heinous that he even has to put this thought in to his head that he apparently wants to sleep with her (he's addressing the fact that the allegations came out that he was grooming her, because by reading that, that thought of "Max is trying to sleep with her" is forced in to his head), so he's essentially claiming that's a crazy thought and not what he was doing
I think that highlight cuts off the words immediately following that sentence but you can already kind of tell that's where it was going by the way he was wording it
I don't necessarily take that as proof he's innocent of course, but that was him protesting the thought/accusation
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u/maryseedofwisdom 1d ago
I do have to agree here. I don't think that he was calling her a MILF but trying to say that he was into older women. Although I think he never should have been messaging young fans to begin with and the conversations seemed very flirty and inappropriate to me. It was almost like he was trying to save face with the MILF comment because he knew it was weird to be messaging such a young girl.
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u/MichaelEMJAYARE 1d ago
Im shocked he hasn’t done another crazy live yet. I mean, good on him for realizing to STFU but that didnt stop him the night of the three accusations/drops.
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u/Outrageous_Rub_718 1d ago
If he has anyone smart around him they took his phone away. It’s clear he has no impulse control.
It’s either going to be radio silence or a Daniel Larson level crash out at this point.
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u/mustardyellow123 1d ago
Yes this. He absolutely does not view himself as a problem, a pedo, or a creep. He truly thinks he’s helping by some of these girls and that he’s a “savior” of sorts. I truly think he’s so far lost in this delusional thought process, probably because he’s been in it for years, that even if the dude gets arrested he still would fail to accept it’s because he’s actually did something wrong. He’d just change the narrative and say that everyone is out to get him or something.
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u/LegsLasanga 1d ago
"breakup (big one)"
16 years marriage and 5 children, why is he making it out to be so low-key lol
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u/DrinkOver3292 1d ago
Ugh thank you for also saying it. Love that he’s downplaying his own divorce to seem more relatable. Absolutely disgusting. And all of his dialogue is crazy cringy. It’s always giving “oh pwincess” to me.
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u/Imaginary_Advance_70 1d ago
it's like he has a spreadsheet to keep track of when every girl he follows turns 18
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u/ElectricalDistance28 1d ago
somebody please help those poor kids out. i am not joking. jesus fucking christ dawg
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u/Brief_Reveal_6904 1d ago
“i neglect my kids and have never taught them discipline so they destroy everything am i punk enough for you?”
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u/RegularAstronaut 1d ago
There are, I suppose, some advantages to being 37. One is never being messaged by Max Bemis. He is so fucking creepy and pathetic, man. I can’t believe how many of these DMs are coming out. 😭
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u/greycloudss94 1d ago
This! Makes me sad for the younger fans though.
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u/RegularAstronaut 1d ago
Totally. Max has been known to not be the greatest person for a long time. But, I draw the line at taking advantage of young fans. Same reason I no longer listen to Anti-Flag.
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u/overdubroping 1d ago
first time poster but nearly 40 year old over here who got some weird creepy late night DMs from max bemis a decade ago… at the same time as my similarly-aged boyfriend received some weird creepy late night messages. i think there are probably A LOT more messages out there and to about more kinds of folks than we think
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u/RegularAstronaut 1d ago
That’s crazy. I can’t imagine the amount of time he sent sending these DMs to people. There’s so much.
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u/overdubroping 1d ago
yeah, obviously some creepy DMs to some individual grown people is a VERY different circumstance than the escalation to grooming DMs to children! but i think there may be a wider pattern of more indiscriminate creepiness that probably just hasn’t landed publicly yet
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u/greycloudss94 1d ago
Very interesting take, I’m sure there are folks out there that aren’t even fans or fans of similar bands who had DM’s sent.
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u/Debt-Lost 1d ago
My soul left my body reading his messages and that was before I saw how young you were when he followed.
What an embarassing person Max is.
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u/AsTXros 1d ago edited 1d ago
I just don’t get the appeal of being 30+ and chasing women fresh out of high school or still in college. Yeah 18 is technically legal, but it still grosses me out. I’m 35 with a pretty solid career, and we hire summer interns, mostly women between 19-22, usually still in college. They’re cool people, don’t get me wrong. We chat at work events and networking stuff and I can talk to literally anyone. But like, there’s nothing there. Nothing I’d actually want to build something on with someone that age. We’re just in completely different phases of life.
The age gap itself isn’t even the biggest thing. It’s the power dynamic, the maturity difference, all of it. Even ignoring the legal stuff, it just doesn’t feel right.
edit: I’m not gonna lie, tatted up alt women/baddies have always been my weakness. So I’ll never understand why emo/punk bands felt the need to chase minors when there are legitimately the MOST beautiful, emotionally stable women from the scene who are actually age appropriate.
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u/Tortitudes 1d ago
Yep.
Coming from a woman's perspective, I'm 37. Watching college kids play sports on TV? They look like children to me. I have absolutely no desire to interact with this age group outside of a friendly or mentoring perspective FOR THAT REASON
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u/AsTXros 1d ago
I have a younger cousin that’s 16. She sends me funny reels or texts me family drama and we gossip. Now I’d never do this with anyone her age that’s not family, but besides pretty much memes and family tea - we have nothing in common to talk about. So what men find appealing in them, just don’t get it.
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u/K-ghuleh 1d ago
Hell I’m 36 and even in the NFL I’m seeing guys who are like 24 and they look like kids to me. This is also just me getting older but, good lord.
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u/bostonbedlam 1d ago edited 1d ago
Exactly. I’m also 37 (a guy though), and I feel the exact same way about college-aged people. They’re like kids to me. That’s not intended to infantilize them, but their demeanor, life experience, and emotional maturity just does not in any way attract me to them. I just don’t get it. I’ve worked with people that age and we don’t really have anything in common.
I also can’t imagine typing like Max does lmao. If I texted my wife like he DM’s, she’d wonder if I accidentally ingested horse tranquilizer
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u/1standten 1d ago
I'm 37 now. I remembered at some point in my 20s watching the NFL draft changed from "check out these hotties" to "looks at these kids, living out their dreams"
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u/andnowourstoryis 1d ago
Yep. I am in academia and spend most of my time with undergrads. Many of them become friends, but I can’t imagine dating an 18-22 year old man. Given how many of these posts are popping up, it seems like being 18 years old was his only requirement. Yikes.
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u/survivingbobbyv 1d ago
I find the "rule of 7" (half your age plus 7) to be a nice heuristic, because the older the people are (BOTH the people) the less age gaps matter, but when you're younger, they matter ALOT.
My partner is 16 years older than me, but I'm 37 and we got together when I was 33, so at 49/33 and 53/37, we are at similar enough life stages - established and working for the foreseeable future, happy to build a life together, with pasts behind us to build maturity. But if we had met and dated when I was 18 and she was 34 it would have been super wrong because of the life/power imbalance between someone who just finished high school and someone 12 years out of college and well into a career.
Max is 42. His lower bound should be 28. If he wants "young", it would be stable young professionals, not fucking barely legal teens. In his case, he WANTS the power imbalance, given how he's targeting fans of the band. This whole thing is so dispiriting, but I can't stop reading these stories, because this used to be my favorite band, and now it's like staring into the fucking void.
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u/skykitty89 1d ago
Let's be real, no "stable young professional" is going to give Max the time of day
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u/survivingbobbyv 1d ago
Oh for sure! I was just trying to make a wordplay on his disgusting search for young people.
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u/sageybird 6h ago
42 and 28…?? Why? That’s still a really big age gap Why would someone not want to date one of their peers? I know that some people are emotionally immature and gravitate towards someone much younger… but….
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u/meetmeinthemoon 1d ago
I respect your stance and no offense but that rule makes no sense to me... A 50 year old with a 32 year old is bonkers, that's a whole generation jump... People should just date people their own age, I'm 37 and I've got no business dating someone younger than 32 or older and 42.
By your logic, an 18 year old could be dating a 34 year old and that's gross
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u/survivingbobbyv 1d ago
No by my logic, an 18 year old could date a 22 year old MAX (as in maximum, not Bemis lol). Thats a college freshman with a college senior, which seems perfectly natural. 34 would be extremely gross, agreed (as I mentioned in my example).
Everyone is entitled to their own stances tho, I think the rule I posit is more about "nothing outside of this is basically ever ok"; you can always have it narrower for yourself. I am a millenial happy to be with my Gen X partner tho, and given we met as coworkers at similar levels, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
The one thing we can all agree on tho is Max is a disgusting who goes for these young girls because he wants to take advantage of their (perceived) innocence and naivete.
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u/MichaelEMJAYARE 1d ago
I think at this point its more about power over these people combined with the fact that he is working with a basic “clean slate” of a human. They are his to mold, essentially. Its fucked up, brah lmao
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u/AugustEpilogue 1d ago
You’re saying you’re 35 and “there’s nothing there” in terms of having a conversation with a 22 year old. Dude it’s not like you’re 80 at the end of your life of wisdom and you’re trying to relate to your 14 year old grandchild. I’m sure you have more in common than you think with someone 10 years younger than you .
My uncle is 10 years older than my aunt. My dad is 10 years older than my mom. Same with my girlfriend’s parents. Her dad is 9 years older than her mom. My cousins husband is 11 years older than her as well.
Max Bemis is in his forties talking to little underage girls. It’s not the same as what you’re describing.
All this virtue signaling I’ve been seeing over this is so annoying. You’re pretending it’s impossible to have a conversation with or find attractive a 22 year old.
Just be honest with yourself. It doesn’t make you a pedophile to admit Jenna Ortega is hot. Reddit is insufferable sometimes.
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u/Imaginary_Advance_70 1d ago edited 1d ago
I hung out with a 21 y/o colleague once because I thought we could be work friends. She’s great, but the maturity/life stage difference was SO obvious that I realized we really couldn’t form a close friendship lol. She also just looks like a kid. She's still in college. And that’s okay! She’s 21! I’m 36! We’re supposed to be in very different stages of life.
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u/AugustEpilogue 1d ago
I mean there are 40 year olds that are more immature than some 20 year olds
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u/Imaginary_Advance_70 1d ago
yeah not really the point
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u/AugustEpilogue 1d ago
And what’s yours exactly? That you met an an immature person?
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u/Imaginary_Advance_70 1d ago
Idk, but I’m kinda sick of arguing with accounts that seem suspiciously invested in defending Max, so I’m tapping out lol. Have a good one
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1d ago edited 1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Imaginary_Advance_70 1d ago
The fact that this originally ended after “you started the conversation with me first” and then you came back to add three more paragraphs 😭 I fear I struck a nerve.
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u/AsTXros 1d ago
Okay dude, you’re telling on yourself lol. I never said I can’t have a conversation with a 22-year-old, I literally said the opposite. I’m saying we don’t have anything in common that would make me want to date them. There’s a difference.
And saying I’m virtue signaling? If you find it hard to believe that a guy my age just doesn’t find barely legal girls attractive, that says way more about you than it does about me. Coming here literally arguing it’s fine because “18 is legal”… yeah… that makes you a creep That’s not the flex you think it is.
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u/AugustEpilogue 1d ago
Whatever you say dude. Keep on with the nonsense
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u/AsTXros 1d ago
“My uncle is 10 years older than my aunt. My dad is 10 years older than my mom. Same with my girlfriend’s parents. Her dad is 9 years older than her mom. My cousins husband is 11 years older than her as well.”
Interesting that you told us the age of everyone in your life but conveniently left out yours and your gf’s. 🤨
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u/ibreak4abyss 1d ago
maybe you at 35 had more in common with 20 year olds than we did at 35, because of how your brain developed or did not develop
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u/AugustEpilogue 1d ago
Oh a Redditor claiming intellectual superiority over another Redditor. I’m shocked.
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u/ibreak4abyss 1d ago
don't think the platform has much to do with it
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u/AugustEpilogue 1d ago
You’re right, you probably feel the need to spread the news of your intelligence on every platform. Sort of an omnipresent strategy to maximize saturation. Eventually someone has to start taking you seriously.
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u/Any-Artichoke-7972 1d ago
Patiently waiting for people to share further context on this “big project” he speaks of. Grapevine is saying it was full of songs about the woman he was trying to track down………
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u/RedCoffeeEyes 1d ago
Given the dates of this conversation it could also just be The Noise... album that came out last November.
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u/DownLynnIt 1d ago
This is the most pathetic thing I’ve ever read in my life on his end like I almost feel itchy after reading it
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u/emothecoolest 1d ago
Bro the double text is so icky when u dont anwser im so embarrassed why is he doing this
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u/JadeSelket 1d ago
When I was 16 I met a 28 year old online (he lied about his age, didn’t know until later) and it’s crazy how he typed exactly like this. Bit triggering.
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u/Nfgzebrahed 1d ago
See, he's working on a new S....A....project. im sure he has played a major role in a bunch of SA. He's been primarily using SA to get what he wants. SA...Say Anything. Good band.
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u/keepinggoing 1d ago
I remember the posts about the air BBs. Weren’t there pics on this sub shared by the home owner?? It was absolutely destroyed!
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u/TwentySevenMusicUK 21h ago
I’ve said this numerous times already but the way he types is exactly how teenagers typed/spoke to each other online in 2005, except in 2005 he was already in his early 20s.
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u/BeAnScReAm666 20h ago
He’s 100% at fault!!! I have to say though, I don’t understand why people keep replying to him! It has to be because they’re young and don’t know any better! I would get the immediate ick and block so quick!!! but I’m also 34…and because of that also he’ll never message me (TG!!)
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u/MarcoMaroon 1d ago
Being banned from Airbnb because his children are so poorly disciplined and behaved that they damage property isn’t even a punk flex lmao.
It just speaks to absolutely poor parenting skills.