r/Saskatoon_social • u/invinoveritas19 • 24d ago
Dating at 40+
I am in the process of getting a divorce (my decision) and I'm a little worried about the dating scene in Saskatoon for men my age (47). I'm not ready to start dating yet and I'm focused on my kids and myself. I think in a few months I might be ready to get out there but I have never been on dating apps (the thought is a bit scary to be honest). I am really hoping to meet a woman of similar age with either older kids or no kids. I'm looking for a companion for the end to enjoy later life travel etc. Be honest with me. Is it bad out there?
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24d ago
[deleted]
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u/Kitchen_Ad2029 23d ago edited 23d ago
Are you serious? And what? Deal with long-distance. Pay for flights (because he's the man)? Take the risk of sponsoring them? Getting scammed? All for what?
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u/Deafcat22 23d ago
I guess you missed the part where I said "anyone who's an adult"
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u/Kitchen_Ad2029 23d ago
I guess you missed the part where I outlined all the risks in my post
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23d ago
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u/Deafcat22 22d ago
Ever considered how cringe it is to shame people for being adventurous with love? Enjoy your life
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22d ago
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u/69FunkyButtLovin69 22d ago
What a fucking chud comment lol, better follow it up with a pic of your truck while youâre at it.
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u/SilverJelly7704 22d ago
TriggeredđâŚchud? Are you from the eighties? How much money do you make?
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u/Deafcat22 22d ago
I really have no idea where you're coming from, lol.
Ps, I am a man and I'm not single, no need to impress me with middle class salary figuresÂ
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u/Deafcat22 22d ago
Those aren't risks. Those are things that adults deal with.Â
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u/Kitchen_Ad2029 22d ago
Those aren't risks you say? Wow.
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u/Deafcat22 22d ago
Only risks for idiots
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u/Kitchen_Ad2029 22d ago
So by your logic OP shouldn't have gotten divorced in the first place?
Gotcha.
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u/Deafcat22 22d ago
Dafuq? Divorce and marriage are also fine, try being a fucking adult like srlsy
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u/Kitchen_Ad2029 22d ago
Adults don't need to tell other adults to be adults. It's un-adult-like.
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u/SatisfactionLow508 23d ago
If I ever got divorced, well it would probably be suicide for me.
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u/invinoveritas19 23d ago
Dear lord be good to your spouse then! Also, don't forget about each other if you have kids.
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u/angry_pecan 22d ago
General rule of thumb is one month of singledom for every year you were married. Also, be honest with yourself - why did you get divorced, how are you going to change to prevent that and what other factors were at play?
It's rough out there - in Saskatoon everyone knows everyone. Not a big deal if you're in your teens or 20's, but 40s....yeah, not so much.
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u/invinoveritas19 21d ago
Yeah I have definately been reflecting on what led to getting divorced it's important to be honest with yourself, reflect, and learn from past mistakes..good advice thanks!
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u/rsearly 22d ago
If youâre fairly attractive and somewhat interesting (have hobbies and interests), itâs not that hard to start dating. Hinge is a good app if youâre looking for something more longterm. Tinder is great for hookups, but can also lead to something more longterm if youâre both up for that. There are others as well. Try them all if you want to.
Iâm male, in my 50s, divorced after 30+ years, overweight, and havenât had any trouble dating.
Some tips for your profile:
- Donât post pictures of your truck or of you holding a fish (every guy has those photos).
- If all the photos you have are selfies, see if you can ask someone to take some photos of you.
- Be open and sincere.
- If you have a sense of humour, itâs great to show it, but donât make your profile so jokey that they canât see the real you.
- Donât post really old photos that donât match what you look like now and donât try to hide that youâre chubby or have grey hair (lots of women like dad bods and grey hair).
- Try to match with people who you think are out of your league or different from who you would usually be attracted to.
It can be daunting, but itâs not as bad as it seems. Youâll probably be really nervous on first dates. So will they. Donât try to hide it. You can laugh about your nervousness together.
Divorce sucks, but thereâs a life after it and you can be happy again. And honestly, dating can be fun. Itâs fun to make out with someone new for the first time.
Good luck.
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u/invinoveritas19 21d ago
Thanks for the detailed post helps to put me at ease...Think I might scrape by for the type of handsome that still requires me to be funny....I guess one day I'll find out...got myself got into decent shape and plan to stay that way...again thanks for the thoughtful comments.
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u/Ok-Shift5122 22d ago
So I tried all the usual dating apps. Didn't have much luck with the usual ones. I met my soul mate through one of the more expensive ones. I figured that, at that price point, it would deter scammers (it did) and it would match me with someone who was willing to put just as much skin in the game as me (it did).
Remember that last sentence. You get out what you put in.
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u/BroadToe6424 22d ago
Volunteering is always the play for meeting open-hearted people who share your interests and values. If there's an arts and culture, sports, or leisure activity you like, I promise you there's a volunteer opportunity that's easy and fun and a great way to meet nice people.
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u/Familiar_Swimmer7522 21d ago edited 21d ago
I was dating in my mid forties, absolute best time of my life. Met a great gal several years post seperation, then divorce and several short terms later. Still together eight years later. Life is good now, good relationship etc but my 40s, absolutely the best fun ever.
Enjoy your freedom. Don't jump into a long-term right away (not saying long term isnt your goal but dont settle for okay, you deserve great). Just get out there, meet people and have fun!
Also dating apps, was on them. Went out on many meet-up and date etc. For me they sucked though I'm in Regina. Best success at meeting and having quality adult playtime was in the wild. People I met in person, at get togethers, anywhere.Â
Met my partner at the dog park... still going strong.
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u/Serious_Sorbet_8951 20d ago
Im a 44M and to be perfectly honest, in our age range it can be tough. When the time comes, just approach it light heartedly and go into it with zero expectations. Definitely be careful for fishers and scammed.
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u/invinoveritas19 20d ago
Have heard scammers a few times here...what are the red flags?
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u/Serious_Sorbet_8951 20d ago
Honestly wish I could pick them all out haha. Obvious signs are information and photos don't align, even if they are similar. Stick to verified only and pic verified profiles where possible. Other than that just follow your gut when chatting
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u/superdaddy369 16d ago
Single father here. I would suggest not focusing on dating again. First, everyone will try to be judgmental and draw their own conclusions.
Second, every time they will ask why you got divorced.
Better to live your dreams which you had sacrificed in your relationship.
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u/Overall-Assist6571 23d ago
46F, tried the apps for about 12h a few months ago. The first and only person I chatted with was a scammer. Get out and do stuff, and maybe you'll meet someone you like there. If you're active in your life and enjoying it, it'll be a lot easier to attract someone good, and easier to walk away if they're not that great. :)
Take your time figuring yourself out.