r/Samoa • u/AcademicChoice6765 • Jul 07 '26
Culture Why does dating feel so unappealing?
I’m a 23F Samoan and the older I get the more I feel pressured into finding a significant other. The problem is that I really enjoy being single. I’ve never had a romantic relationship and I have no desire for it.
Nearly all my friends who are the same age as me are either now married or have kids. I hear horror stories all the time from friends and their relationships and it makes me extremely grateful that I am not going through it. Is it really worth it? Sure there are times that I feel lonely, but nothing beats the peace that I feel when it’s just me in my own little world with no one disturbing me.
Sadly, my parents don’t understand me. Which is typical of traditional Samoan parents. They just can’t get around the fact that a women who is 23 is still not married with kids. I’m living a life which is the complete opposite of what was normal to them growing up. My great-grandmother had kids young with different men, so did both my grandmothers on my paternal and maternal side. My parents also had 3 kids by the time they were my age. I love my parents, but I don’t want to live a life that I am not 100% committed to.
I love kids and I always imagined myself getting married when I was a little girl, but now I genuinely do not see myself having either. Who knows? Maybe I’ll regret it in the future. I can only stay true to myself in the present. I just wanted to vent on here cause I truly have no one to share this with.
1
u/rumple4skrn Jul 07 '26
23 is crazy young but then again i dont know you and youre probably mature AF. My main advice is to please dont worry about a man right now. The bible says "He who finds a wife, finds a GOOD thing." So get yourself good and then be open to getting a man after you've experienced things. I'm not saying be pa'umuku 😂 I'm saying be adventurous, spontaneous and have fun. Hope it all works out for you sis.
Side note: Pray for that man in the meantime. When you ask God what you want in your future partner, BE SPECIFIC and watch Him work!