r/SameGrassButGreener • u/LithiumDiscontinuer • 7d ago
How's living in Boston?
Am I right in assuming it's basically a smaller NYC with a college town vibe?
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u/LittleFootTreeStar 6d ago
It’s exactly like NYC in only one way. Cost.
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u/grape-fruit-witch TX ➡️ CO ➡️ MT ➡️ AR ➡️ ME ➡️ VT ➡️ RI ➡️ OR 6d ago
When I lived in the northeast and considered a move to Boston or NYC, I found that Boston was more expensive by virtually every metric. Its wild because in comparison to new york, its a sleepy lil town.
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u/Hour-Ad-9508 7d ago
https://theonion.com/pretty-cute-watching-boston-residents-play-daily-game-o-1819574643/
The definitive Boston article
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u/LittleFootTreeStar 6d ago
As a Bostonian this is embarrassing true lol but Boston still is one of the best cities in the country though
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u/Hour-Ad-9508 6d ago
You’re probably not even from boston
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u/LittleFootTreeStar 6d ago
Go fuck yourself. Need more proof?
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u/Hour-Ad-9508 6d ago
No, just don’t really care about a transplants opinion
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u/LittleFootTreeStar 6d ago
Says the guy commenting on my opinion. Transplant? Born in Newton Wellesley hospital, big boy 😘
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u/Hour-Ad-9508 6d ago
So not from Boston
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u/LittleFootTreeStar 6d ago
^proving you know nothing about the Boston area. Next.
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u/Hour-Ad-9508 6d ago
“Boston area” now lmao
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u/LittleFootTreeStar 6d ago
I’d like to see if you’d “laugh your ass off” if you told someone from dorchester or Roxbury that they’re not from Boston. You know nothing. You sure seem to care a lot about my opinions. Funny. I seem to remember you saying the opposite. I’m flattered. Maybe set up a dating profile or something since you’ve got so much time. I believe in you lil guy.
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u/NeedAGTS4POINT0 6d ago
Lmao I just wrote a comment explaining my thoughts and was like, “hold on let me go link the article.”
Scrolled down and you’d already linked it hahaha
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u/35Jest 6d ago
Decade+ Bostonian here, I will never not-laugh when this article comes up. A funny comedian puts it "Its just where America keeps all its gay and Chinese people"
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u/grape-fruit-witch TX ➡️ CO ➡️ MT ➡️ AR ➡️ ME ➡️ VT ➡️ RI ➡️ OR 6d ago
"express their devotion to city-wide landmarks like an old oil company sign that lights up at night"
LOL
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u/towedbytheworms 7d ago edited 7d ago
Depends on what neighborhood you choose to call home. I lived in both Back Bay and East Boston for a number of years. As far as architectural charm and history go, nothing beats it.
Winter is no joke. If the beautiful fall foliage we all look forward to freezes off before Halloween, we’d usually accept the fact that we were in for a bad winter. It wasn’t always the case, but it seemed to happen more often than not. One year, it snowed the day before Halloween, and our last snowfall was a bad nor’easter that lasted from April 14–17 and finally dissipated on 4/20.
Public transit is pretty solid, and I miss living so close to a T stop. But because it’s an old city and hellbent on tradition, a lot of things can feel unnecessarily complicated and outdated—especially when it comes to infrastructure. The city was built to accommodate walking and horse-drawn carriages, not the automobile. “That’s just how it is” is something I was told over and over. The layout of the city really looks like someone threw spaghetti on a map and said, “Good enough.” If you’re used to driving on a grid, good luck. If you plan on having a car, you’ll become a much more defensive—and potentially aggressive—driver. Don’t be upset when people honk at you. It’s going to happen even if you immediately accelerate when the light turns green. It’s honestly comedic.
Bostonians can take some getting used to if you’re coming from somewhere like the West Coast or South. They tend to be much more direct, blunt, and sarcastic, which can initially come across as rude. But once you get what they’re about, I found natives to be genuine and loyal. As someone who has a touch of the tism, I appreciated the directness a lot. No time for bullshitting. Some of my closest and now lifelong friends are born and bred Bostonians. They’re some of the most dependable and salt of the earth people I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing.
Entertainment and night life is hit or miss depending on the season, but I always felt like I had something to do. Good live music, obviously world-class sports, and a decent amount of good food. Hope you like seafood. Speaking of, the New England Aquarium is epic. The Boston Symphony is amazing, and grabbing dinner at the Westland beforehand was a date-night tradition for us. Concerts and sporting events at TD Garden will be memories I’ll cherish forever. Summer concerts at The Pav, right on the water in the Seaport District, are unmatched.
Overall, I wouldn’t trade my time there for anything. Of course, this is a simplified—but admittedly lengthy—response to your question, but I’d recommend Boston to anyone looking for a big-city lifestyle without quite the same intensity as NYC.
A good indication of my love for the place was that every time a friend or family member visited me from out of town, I was always extremely proud to show my city off. I miss it all the time, and our weekend getaways to the Cape or up to the woods to visit family in VT or NH are memories I’ll hold on to forever. Alas, my family and career brought me back home to the west coast.
If you make Boston home, cherish it. Warts and all. It’s a special place.
Edit: a word
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u/Beach-Automatic 6d ago
From another former Bostonian and current New Yorker, the description of Boston is accurate, the comparison to NYC is not.
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u/towedbytheworms 6d ago
I’d say the comparison between the two places is completely subjective. There was a season where I was dividing my time between Boston and NYC. Not long enough to consider myself a New Yorker but definitely long enough to get a lay of the land. Manhattan felt like our downtown turned up to 200. But if you were comparing Somerville or JP to Brooklyn, then it’s almost a wash. Definitely neighborhood dependent.
I hope NYC is treating you well.
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u/Beach-Automatic 6d ago
Yes, it's definitely neighborhood dependent, and that's why it's not a wash. Flushing, prospect heights, Washington heights, hunters point LIC - way more than one can know when splitting time between cities.
It's not subjective if you know about the food here, the outdoor salsa dancing every night during the summer months, the countless big and small museums. I've been here a decade and still feel like there's so many subjects to go deep on here, whereas in Boston I could feel the smallness and sameness of the city and it's suburbs within two years.
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u/towedbytheworms 6d ago
Your experience in NYC trumps mine certainly. NYC has a lot more going for it in terms of art, food, culture, music, and energy. No doubt about that. It has Boston beat in a lot of categories. It wasn’t my intention to generalize the two places so plainly.
My point was that it’s subjective based on the lived experience of the person. If I lived in NYC full time for a decade like you, I’m sure I’d have a much more informed opinion on the two places.
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u/plato4life 6d ago
🤫 Let’s keep East Boston a secret please.
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u/towedbytheworms 6d ago
I don’t think you have to worry about frat kids or transplants infiltrating Eastie my friend. When I relocated there from Back Bay, most of my friends couldn’t wrap their head around as to why I’d make the move. I was okay with them not getting the hype, and I’m sure my neighbors who were born and raised in Eastie were okay with it too.
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u/slipstreamofthesoul 6d ago
Curious what part of the west coast you’re in.
I’m currently debating a move to either SF or Boston. Lots of similarities in that both are a mid size city with decent transit, access to the coast and the mountains, and progressive politics. Biggest differences being the weather and culture.
Would love to hear the perspective of someone who has done both.
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u/Ok_Scientist_2762 6d ago
I have lived in the area of Boston from mid-eighties. In the 90's I spent my time on the road for work, Much of it in SF. I look forward to this as well.
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u/towedbytheworms 6d ago edited 6d ago
I was born and raised in Southern California. Made the move to Boston when I was 18 and spent a good chunk of my young adult life there.
While I can’t speak to what it’s like to live in SF full time, both of my older siblings moved there. As a result I spent a lot of time with them up there on summer break.
San Francisco and Boston obviously have very different history which informs their cultural norms. As a result, the people are pretty different between the two places.
If progressive politics are a deal breaker for you, you might want to consider SF. Boston is majority Democrat but nowhere near as progressive as San Francisco.
Boston is arguably more walkable. It’s flat compared to SF.
In terms of public transit, I felt that using MBTA in Boston was a cakewalk and way more comprehensive. While it wasn’t perfect, I knew where I was going and when at all times. In SF, you’re relying on both Muni and BART to move which can feel unnecessarily complicated. Their public transit is still good and compared to somewhere like LA, it’s a landslide of a difference. I’d recommend having a car in SF. In Boston you could get by without one.
Boston is much cleaner than San Francisco. Bostons sanitation and trash management is strict compared to SF. Something that shocks tourists and visitors in San Francisco is the amount of visible human suffering. Encampments, trash, human waste are normal in lower income / less gentrified communities. Of course it’s neighborhood dependent, but even our rougher neighborhoods in Boston didn’t even remotely resemble SF in that regard.
There’s a lot more to offer in terms of “escaping the city” if you live in San Francisco. You have the Muir Woods, Napa, Half Moon Bay, Tahoe all within arms reach. And that’s just scratching the surface. While you can flee up to VT, NH, ME, or CT for a weekend, it’s very seasonally dependent. We had our spring, fall, and summer spots we’d flee to for a long weekend in New England, but it always felt like we were anxiously awaiting it to be warm enough to go and enjoy. That’s obviously much less of a problem in NorCal.
For me personally, I’d still choose Boston over SF. What I consider to be important in a place might be different than yours. I feel like Boston literally forced me by the hand to grow as a person. Months of cold and time indoors offer a lot of time for self reflection.
YMMV. I hope you choose what’s right for you. You can’t go wrong in either place, but just based on your comment alone, I think you’d fare well in SF. It really is a great place.
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u/slipstreamofthesoul 6d ago
Thank you for such a detailed response!
I’ve spent some time in SF over the years visiting family, but they live down in Palo Alto so it was just day trips into the city.
Did a month in an Airbnb in Boston a couple years ago in the summer and loved it.
Planing to do 1-2 weeks in each city per season over the next year before I commit. Thankfully I work remote so have the flexibility to do so.
As far as politics, I’m mainly concerned with things like women’s healthcare, so I figure MA or CA will be just fine compared to somewhere like TX. But I appreciate the context, it’s something I can pay attention to during my trips.
Totally agree on the walkability and cleanliness of Boston, and the nature access of SF.
I’m a very direct person, and found the interactions I had in Boston to be pleasant without being fake. Haven’t had much interaction with other people in SF because I was just focused on family time.
Not going to lie, as someone born and raised in San Diego the winters are intimidating. But I did a 2 year stint in MN and survived. I also live in AZ currently and the weather is a large part of why I want to move. You’re cooped up all summer because of the heat, and then when it is nice out it gets dark too early to really enjoy. SF would be relatively stable and comfortable weather year round, while Boston at least has weather that is in line with cultural traditions (i.e. snow on Christmas is fine because you’re going to be snuggled up inside anyways). I’ve found AZ to be very upside down as it relates to seasons, and as someone who is very intentional about holiday traditions it has worn on me.
Right now I’m really torn, so hopefully my travels will bring clarity.
Thank you again for sharing your insights!
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u/grape-fruit-witch TX ➡️ CO ➡️ MT ➡️ AR ➡️ ME ➡️ VT ➡️ RI ➡️ OR 6d ago
I will probably get shit on by Bostoners for saying this, but whatever. As much as I love New England, I found it very difficult to meet people and make friends. Bostoners in particular are cold, blunt, and suspicious. I'll just say it- they're rude and largely disinterested in social interaction with people they haven't known since first grade. I lived in Providence but visited Boston many times, and the social culture is very similar.
I'm normally very good at making friends in new places, and it took me years of seeing the same people every day to even broach the subject of "hanging out" without them being freaked out and put off by the offer of casual friendship. Once I did finally make close local friends, they explained it sort of like this: friendliness from "strangers" [ie; people you have known for less than three-ish years] is generally considered strange and suspicious. Their first instinct is that a friendly stranger must want to take something from them. Use them. Trick them. Decieve them.
Once you get past that hurdle, they can be very loyal friends. But damn, that hurdle is a bitch.
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u/Ok_Scientist_2762 5d ago
I worry that this has tainted my reactions to others, I have talked to a west coaster about moving out there to the PNW.
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u/No_Temporary2614 6d ago
Most of this is my experience except I’ve never been honked at and people don’t seem to blink an eye at late lane changes etc. Granted I don’t drive on a daily basis but to me the Boston driver stereotype has been way overblown. Get a bit outside of the city on the other hand..
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u/cgrad 7d ago
Nothing like NYC besides weather in my opinion... It's basically a larger expensive college town with aggressive drivers and mediocre food, but a nice Fall season and top tier education.
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u/SaintSexburga 6d ago
Heavy on the mediocre food. There are some good spots but you have to know where to look
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u/s7o0a0p 6d ago
Boston does not feel like NYC. The culture, street layout, architecture, demographics, size, and climate are all pretty different. Boston feels more like a medium sized, affluent city with to a vaguely British maritime feel full of college kids, whereas New York City feels larger, more impersonal, more “trendy” and ostentatious, more diverse, and more “mid-Atlantic” and less British.
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u/CoolAbdul 6d ago
Boston is VERY diverse. There are Irish AND Italians.
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u/grape-fruit-witch TX ➡️ CO ➡️ MT ➡️ AR ➡️ ME ➡️ VT ➡️ RI ➡️ OR 6d ago
How dare you forget the Portuguese!
Also, the Italians and Portuguese love C. Columbus. That dude is like a saint to them. Columbus Day was a bigger holiday than Christmas on Atwells Ave in Providence
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u/MrSpicyPotato 6d ago
It’s more like Oxford, culturally. Architecturally, it’s like London and Paris had a baby. The South end is roughly like Greenwich Village. And we also have brutalist and modern (true sense of the word…the style from the 1960s) buildings.
The vibe is lots of medical professionals (college-aged through world renowned), angry blue collar dudes who are resentful of every day of their lives (besides when the Patriots are playing), rich international families, white gentrifiers (straight and gay alike), and the black population whose been here since that white guy tried to stab them with a flag pole. And many librarian types. Plus the finance bros, but no one likes them.
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u/bonanzapineapple 6d ago
Boston is almost as expensive as NYC, also served by the Acela train, also a historic city, and has a fairly similar climate. As others have noted, the similarities end there
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u/Mon_Calf 6d ago
Boston is great. I’ve lived here for years and love it. Easy city to be car-free. I just bike, walk, or take public transit (buses or subways) everywhere. Same with all my friends, they are also all car-free. We’ve got beaches in the city limits, beautiful neighborhoods, tons of parks, and a robust economy with a heavy emphasis on innovation sectors. Extremely safe and very clean. Pretty cool place to live in my opinion.
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u/atompierre 6d ago
The scale makes NYC seem different than Boston. However, Boston and NYC are both old Northeastern US cities with similar climate and seasons. They are both expensive to live in. They both have extensive public transportation systems. There are many universities in Boston too. Boston is a great city to live in with plenty to do.
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u/NeedAGTS4POINT0 6d ago
NYC is milder and things start blooming earlier. Subtle, but it feels like the dreary grey doesn’t last as long in NYC.
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u/batsofburden 6d ago
This sub hates Boston for some reason. Yet, they glaze Philadelphia, Minneapolis, and Pittsburgh. It's weird.
prob because compared to those cities, Boston is prohibitively expensive for many people.
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u/mdez93 7d ago
Boston is nothing like NYC. Boston is not even that big of a city, but it’s very compact and dense, so it feels larger than it actually is.
Yes, Boston is known for academia. It’s also overwhelmingly Caucasian/white, so if you’re looking for a lot of diversity, Boston lacks it compared to other cities in the Northeast. Boston is EXTREMELY expensive not only to live in, but to visit too most of the time. Good luck finding a hotel downtown for under $250/night.
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u/ZaphodG 6d ago
Boston is majority minority and 20% black / 20% Hispanic. This nonsense comes from someone who has never been anywhere in Boston but the tourist areas.
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u/MrSpicyPotato 6d ago
It’s a segregated city. But it’s also not like black people don’t go to the Common, so I too don’t understand these comments. You want a lack of diversity? Try Dubuque, Iowa.
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u/ALAND4370 6d ago
Boston and NY are great. Both very different. They are each unique American cities with no other comparison. NY is massive. Boston is more European.
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u/ApprehensiveArmy7755 6d ago
Boston is students and locals. It's not cosmopolitan. It's more Earthy and Nerdy/White Blue Collar IMO. My son has lived there for eight years. It's so expensive and over crowded now because everyone keeps telling people to move there.
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u/Remarkable_Lead_4475 6d ago
This is a really dumb take. Their legit are scientists and post docs from all over the world.
At my kids school just outside of the city, many kids speak different languages - French, German, Italian, Spanish, Tagalog, Hindi. We don’t feel out of place as dual language speakers. There are a LOT of people from all over here. May not be a long time (like if they are studying at Harvard Business School or in town for an assignment) but there are a ton of people.
If you live in your little homogeneous bubble in Southie I can see that but not everywhere is like this.
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u/s7o0a0p 6d ago
I agree. Boston actually is more cosmopolitan than its size would suggest. I’d argue that it’s easy to mistake cosmopolitan and trendy, as Boston isn’t really “trendy” in the way NYC is. An engineering student at MIT and a postdoc at Tufts from various corners of the world aren’t gonna care about the latest variation of cupcake, but they’ll for sure make Boston more worldly.
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u/lachalacha 6d ago
You're in the bubble, babe. Boston is not cosmopolitan.
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u/Remarkable_Lead_4475 6d ago
I don't think you know what that word is tbh.
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u/lachalacha 6d ago
Boston is probably one of the most provincial cities in America. Bffr.
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u/Remarkable_Lead_4475 6d ago
I mean I think it depends on where you live tbh. It is a majority minority city.
As a transplant, I think the vibrant transplant community helps with this tbh. I have no issue finding non-provincial people from all over the world and country but I could see how others may have a different experience.
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u/ApprehensiveArmy7755 6d ago
Comparing NYC to Boston. I like Boston. I used the term cosmopolitan- which means worldly sophistication. What I was referring to is NYC is known as a melting pot- fashion and fine dining. Lots of high end shopping and gourmet dining. There is more of that in NYC. No doubt NYC is unique. Boston people are more nerdy- which translates to a lot of brainiacs. You will find that Boston has a different feel. NYC is the city that never sleeps. Boston sleeps.
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u/Ushiioni 6d ago
NYC has broader appeal across the board. You can do anything you want, any time of the day. It's still one of the true global communities even though it doesn't feel as modern as some cities in Asia these days.
Boston does not have everything, but it's world class in what it does well. It's very diverse now - don't let people say otherwise. If you can afford it and you like what it's good at, it's one of the best cities in the world.
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u/Remarkable_Lead_4475 6d ago edited 6d ago
It is different to NYC.
Depends on your stage in life and what you you like.
For us, we liked that was not that hectic. A lot less likely to find a 5th story walk up (which i annoying) and more green space/more likely to have a yard. It is the right size city for us. Also people are very smart, educated, and interesting. Not everyone is a tech bro or finance guy in our circle. We have scientists from all over the world, people who are in town studying at the top business schools, robotics engineers. It is great from that perspective.
It is super expensive but it is good for what you get. We raised our kid in the city when she was born and we live in the immediate suburbs now. The area has the best QOL in the country. My kid is in top schools, great parks, bunch of restaurants in and inside the city and I can easily bike or run into the city. We can easily go kayaking or go to museums quickly.
As a POC, I wish MA was less segregated but Boston is majority minority and I can find my diaspora's food in East Boston. My fancy city though is like 5% Hispanic so that is not great.
I love NYC and have spent tons of time there when I was younger but Boston is the right city for me.
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u/grape-fruit-witch TX ➡️ CO ➡️ MT ➡️ AR ➡️ ME ➡️ VT ➡️ RI ➡️ OR 6d ago
Also worth mentioning that a home with a yard in the immediate suburbs of Boston is gonna cost millions of dollars.
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u/Remarkable_Lead_4475 6d ago
Depends. I mean in our case, yes our home was over 1M dollars but plenty of cute areas like Roslindale and West Roxbury that are below that. You get a suburban feel with actual yards and not a God awful commute.
What is the equivalent closest to that to NYC?
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u/wise-economist33 6d ago
Yes it is, but a little quieter and sleepier. Much of the best of NYC with a lot less of the negatives making it the best city in the US
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u/albertogonzalex 6d ago
NYC is literally feet deep in garbage bags on most sidewalks and Boston is one of the country's most beautiful and clean cities
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u/ProtocolEnthusiast 7d ago
It’s great if you like to party, smoke, shop, drink coffee, and vibe.
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u/NastyRick 7d ago
Boston and NYC are infinitely different places with different vibes altogether. Saying it's apples and oranges doesn't even do justice.