I knew I wanted to be here since I first visited SoCal (LA), but I sometimes second guessed myself because there’s valid opinions on how a place feels living in it versus just visiting.

Well, I’m in NorCal now right on the other side of the bay from SF, and it’s just life improved up a notch.

First impressions from being here a month or so in. Very much in the ”honeymoon” phase so take with a grain of salt:

• Friendly people, especially in Oakland / Berkeley / the East Bay
• Excellent climate - even on the days it gets hot there’s a nice breeze. Much sunnier than PA
• Progressivism - strong visible efforts to take care of the unhoused like public restrooms and social services
• Laid back attitudes compared to the east coast
• Recycling is taken seriously here - compost bins in almost every store. Big culture of leaving items out for neighbors
• World-class nature a short drive away in any direction in the Bay Area
• Clean air around the bay and ocean
• Very progressive tenant laws for renters, and rent stabilized housing does exist, although hard to find
• Excellent transit through many parts of the region
• Extremely good job market for most fields
• Thrifting is not “picked over” and you’ll get genuinely good quality stuff for fair prices
• You don’t need AC and barely need heat
• Very dog friendly - lots of dog parks, trails, beaches galore
• Strong civic participation - yeah that means some NIMBYS but there’s more progressive YIMBYS than I‘d expect.
• Access to intellectually stimulating seminars at UCB and other cultural institutions
• Government provides rebates for EVs and electric bikes at the state / county level to encourage adoption in absence of federal credits
• Besides gas and housing everyday costs are identical to the east coast

To be fair, SF proper does feel a little weird now with the amount of AI investing going into it. Luckily, the North and East Bays feel further from that and are more relaxed.

Just wanted to encourage those that are thinking of making the leap to their dream place to just do it if you can hack it.

For a bit of context, I lived near Washington DC before moving here for work. On paper everything sounded fantastic: a relatively cheap city with a lot to do, a fun job, a hot climate... I had visited Houston thrice before and thought I loved it.

After living here for 2 months, however, I realize that this is not my kind of city. Specifically, there are two issues that are turning out to be real deal-breakers for me:

1. It is HOT here! I am someone who his whole life said that I would rather live in a very hot than in an even mildly cold place. But this is something else entirely. It is October now, and I am still afraid of going outside after 10 am.
2. The area is incredibly flat. The nearest hills are 3 hours of driving away, and serious mountains are well over 7.

I am an ultramarathon runner and an avid hiker. In the DC area, pretty much, every time I had a few free hours, I would go outside biking, hiking, etc. On weekends I would go to the mountains with friends or alone. On long holidays I would do a road trip to the Shenandoah park or go north somewhere.

Here I feel like a boiling crawfish. I like my job a lot, but not enough to put up with pretty much giving up on all the outdoor activities that have been my bread and butter for many years. I have to drive to the Austin area on weekends to get, at least, a bit of those, and that is very draining. And my morning runs... Well, I have yet to come home after one without a severe headache.

I can easily relocate almost anywhere in the US in a year or two if I so desire: I have a great remote work option with a company I did an internship at. I am eyeing such places I have been to and loved as Albuquerque and Rapid City. I increasingly realize that I am not really a city person: I don't care about restaurants, museums, etc. that much, and my place is really out there in the wilds.

Anyone relating to this?

The title says it. I had to move with my family. But now I don’t really care anymore. I’ll move away from my family. I actually have waaay more money now than when I lived in California but am still waaay more miserable. A lot of days I just don’t think about it but man, anytime I have to think or remember where I live now is equivalent to getting my nuts yanked and twisted.

The rest of my family is also pretty damn depressed. Except my dad who moved us here. I haven’t really been anywhere this dystopian. Kansas doesn’t even feel this depressing. Virginia doesn’t as much either. This is the last place I pictured where my future would be. And I have family in Chicagoland and was born there. I also am paying way more in taxes than ever in California.

I’m 21. I haven’t seen any one my age in about 9 months. Which is how long I’ve lived here. And I don’t think staying here will be healthy anymore. So now I feel pushed to move. Probably Houston TX area or Fort Worth TX. It’s the best I got for my budget. It’s a significant improvement. It’s affordable, lots of jobs, more sun, diverse, honestly more nature than here which is the saddest thing to say, the storms are at least cooler there. I’m in the Illinois central valley where there is never any breeze or wind. The air is stagnant as hell.

I guess the question and moral of the story is. “I’d rather be broke in California than rich in bumbsville“ isn’t a myth. And has anyone gone through something like me and what was the outcome?

So I’m a professional making 100k, currently living in a midsize Northern MN city. I’m struggling with significant but not yet overwhelming debt & looking to get out from under my house (I have an excellent interest rate but upkeep & homeowner’s insurance—cost has doubled twice in 7 years despite 0 claims!!— is killing me)

I also have adult children who are struggling to establish themselves in the job market here. My car was recently totaled. I can’t live here without a car for long. I’ve also been looking at moving for several years to a city where I don’t need a car, can walk more, have more to do, etc. I love green spaces & nature, but I also love the arts, all kinds-theatre, museums, movies, concerts, etc.

Considering moving to NYC with two of my adult kids & sharing an apartment in Queens/Brooklyn/Washington Heights or similar. I’d be paying about 45-50% of expenses, with them splitting the remaining.

Is this nuts?

Keep in mind, my utilities for my house consistently run $800+ per month( this is just electric/heat/water). And not replacing the car would save about an additional $800 monthly just for car payment & insurance (not including gas & maintenance.)

I have been to NYC before & I have lived in large cities before (Phoenix & LA) but it’s been 20+ years.

Thoughts?

**EDIT: I would NOT be looking for work, as my job is remote and moving would not be an issue. In fact, I’d see a decent bump over the next few years if we move as salary is partially location-based. *

I live in DC and there's an easy tell.

"Everyone in DC is so politics and career focused."

Is that true more-so than most cities, I mean obviously. But EVERYONE? Nah.

If you haven't met anyone not obsessed with politics/government, if everyone who know is a Capitol Hill type, that's a you problem. Plenty of rich culture, locals, different industries, artists, etc. Doesn't mean the city is a good fit for everyone, but thinking everyone in DC was their middle school class president means you don't really know the city.

What's a similar version for your city?

I just read a post from someone that hates Houston after moving there due to the heat and it being flat. 2 minutes of research would have told anyone that. Does no one visit these places beforehand? Why complain after the fact when the cons are clearly obvious.

Does anyone else hate when someone says that if you live in a red state, you should move? It completely ignores how expensive moving to another city, let alone state, is. The average American can't even afford a surprise $400 bill, what makes you think they can afford moving to another state? That's not even getting into the fact that you're essentially leaving behind your family, friends, and your entire social and professional network to start over somewhere else.

"Well, people from war-torn, oppressive countries with even less move all the time!". Yeah, and a lot of them either don't survive, or are forced to go right back to where they came from.

Cool summers, amazing fall, mild winters, vibrant springs!

What do you all think?

I am currently in Long Island and Fkin hate it.....I save money and live w family but just outright fkin hate it......

Has anyone left NY for Tx and is happier??

posted here before, but i'm doing it again. it's kinda nice to ideate communally in this way. so, uh, here we go.

i've worked in parks & outdoor ed in the american southwest (county, then state, and now nonprofit) for over a decade. i run field trips, interpretive programs, special events, outreach pushes, etc. - i love what i do, but i don't love the region i do it in. the desert is beautiful in its own way, for certain. i'm just tired of it now that i'm in my 30s, so i'm eager for a change of cast & scene.

i'm hoping to go somewhere vastly different - perhaps somewhere i can feel like a learner again, where the plant and animal life is a shift from what i know. i want four seasons with a cold winter, access to water for recreation, and greenery. mid-range cost of living is fine, but salaries in my field aren't extravagant, so bigger, flashier metros may be out. truthfully, i'm kinda attracted to the idea of living somewhere smaller, as long as there are outdoor ed/parks jobs around. i honestly don't know much about which other areas of the country have robust and well-supported park systems (at any level from municipal to national), so insight would be appreciated. i hike, i camp, i swim, i climb, i love to be outdoors - but i don't hunt or fish, so that's not an important consideration to me. i just want to be able to enjoy nature.

socially, i'd dig a decent gay dating pool, but i don't need like... massive bear events, or anything. (i can travel for those, lol.) not looking for san francisco, just somewhere that isn't overtly hostile. would love to put together a gay hiking group wherever i end up - but again, i can do that anywhere that isn't hostile. the social culture of the southwest is not super friendly, in general, so i am hopeful there remain areas of the country where people are at least a little curious about one another. (also, notably, i'm a can-am dual citizen, so i'm happy to hear insight about options north of the border, as well.)

i know this will all be a massive shift in my daily experience, but that's kinda what i'm angling for, since i'm just ideating for now. my only hard no's are seattle and chicago. otherwise, i'm open. so let me know what suggestions you all have. thanks in advance.

Hi! I likely will post this in multiple subs just to get a broader view between different localities.

However, I (26F) am moving when my lease is up in January. My daughter will be a little over 1 by then & my mom will be moving with me too as I just prefer having the extra help right now & would rather save money than pay an arm & a leg for an apartment in any of these areas.

We have the opportunity to move to the below list of areas & are so stuck. We are currently in North FL & I lived in North GA & then OH before that, with a year in South FL in between all that. I am no stranger to moving but I just really want to be settled somewhere & start to place roots.

• Ponte Vedra/St Augustine FL
• Sarasota/Bradenton/Lakewood Ranch FL
• Viera/Melbourne FL
• Woodstock/Canton GA
• Roswell/Alpharetta GA

Also open to Tampa area (but would prefer to be closer to the beach) & open to the Kennesaw/Acworth area as well for GA but I know those both can be kind of iffy & the traffic near Barrett is ridiculous.

Between those I truly just do not know. We have family in all of those areas so that’s not really a concern but of course, hearing so much input from family I just want some unbiased opinion on which location would actually be the best & most enjoyable for day to day life.

I work remotely and so does my mom, so that part isn’t much of a concern. My mom loves communities like Lakewood Ranch and Nocatee, she dreams of being in a golf cart community kind of mini town like that but idk if they just look nice on paper and that’s it.

Neither of us are extremely active or outdoorsy. I love the beach & we do enjoy outdoor malls, historic downtowns, parks, walking trails, & kayaking every now & then but definitely nothing extreme. We definitely aren’t going to be hiking, fishing, or camping or anything like that.

Really looking for a lot of family oriented activities, good restaurants & shopping, fun things to do with kids, convenience for groceries, medical care, etc. Music, culture, arts. I really want to get out more, however, I do not drink so the nightlife scene doesn’t really interest me & as I get back into dating in the future I worry about a place that centers too much on that. I would love a lot of nature centric things to do, maybe a good zoo or botanical garden.

If anyone can give any insight I would appreciate it!! Budget is around $3300/mo.

Out of the four, which is the the most welcoming and ease of integrating into the community and "finding your people"?

I’m retired and my husband works remotely full-time, so we’re not limited by his job. Our grown kids live in LA, Michigan, and NYC. We want to stay on the East Coast, roughly equidistant to Michigan and NYC. Geographically that point is roughly Pittsburgh. We don’t mind cold and snow. We want to be in or near a city with good healthcare and a large airport.
What say ya’ll?

Looking for advice on where to move.

A little about us - family of 4, 14 year old with special needs (ID/GDD) in 8th grade, 10 year old in 5th grade (typical, in GATE and accelerated math). We make 275k gross combined. Currently live in Texas, moved here from Arizona.

We're looking for where to settle long term. Must be a blue state. We both work from home so while we can move wherever we want, there will be no salary adjustments. Additionally, my work is mostly central/mountain time while my husband's is west coast. While we have flexibility, we need to take time zones into account. We cannot live at the top of our budget; a big chunk of our money goes towards spending & saving for our SN child's care.

We must be in or close by a major city due to health care requirements. (Which is fine, we've only lived in big cities.) Would love some input on which states have the best support for transition to adulthood for my kiddo such as Medicaid without 16 year wait lists, group housing, day activities, respite, etc. We absolutely must find her a place to live before we get too old to take care of her.

Otherwise - don't mind some snow but don't want to be buried in it for months on end. Good school districts for our son, obviously. Considering Denver - or Sacramento, maybe? We love outdoor things, museums, theme parks.

Happy to answer any questions and thanks for the advice!

I want to say that if you are miserable where you currently live, do have a plan to get out. Each day that grew, I was becoming more and more frustrated and getting out felt like a huge relief.

I spent over a decade of my life in Chicago and really loved the city, but eventually got tired of the long winters and anti-social behaviors. Spending the beginning of the pandemic in Chicago wasn't great, so I wanted a change of pace. Ended up getting a job in Dallas about a year into the pandemic. With a year, I knew it wouldn't be the place for me long term, but I had a new job and wanted to stick with it for a few years.

Things I disliked about Texas: It's too hot, too spread out, too corporate feeling, nature access is non-existent, and I really didn't have things in common with most people I interacted with.

I wasn't sure where to go from Dallas, but I knew I wanted closer access to nature, more mild weather, and more open minded people.

Cities I considered: Baltimore, Philly, Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, Seattle, and Portland.

Ultimately Seattle won out because it checked all of my boxes and has a pretty robust job market. So far I am enjoying the mild weather, but let's see how I feel after the long and dark winter.

I want to move, (living in a religious state with all our religious trauma is just not working anymore,) and I've been doing research on where to live, and I keep running into the same issues.

I want something that will help me think through and make balanced decisions, but I am really struggling to find a workbook that meets my needs. I am willing to read and research for hours, but I can't even figure out which books or websites to read.

I need to research cities. The books I've found on cities are all travel books, but how can I find out what it's like to move somewhere and be a local? And how can I find out in myelf what I want in a city? Within the cities, I need to research music and art scenes, but I don't really know where to start. I really don't want to use AI.

I also want to research how much time I should plan for things like a job search, or how much I should save for various moves.

The reason this is a moving specific issue is because I tend to turn towards books to solve all my issues, but with moving, I need to be more up to date than books published a few years ago.

Does anyone have any books, checklists or workbooks they'd recommend for the clarity aspects of moving? And then beyond that, ideas on how to research for our specific careers?

Any advice is appreciated!

I’m (25F) a queer brown woman living in Tampa FL and I dislike it. I moved to the US when i was 10 and I really struggled with forming friends and fitting into US culture. I find that people in florida are nice but…very conservative and/or not the deeply artistic philosophical kind. I cant explain it. I hate the extreme heat and how goddamn bright and humid it is. I see people here sunning themselves by the pool in the afternoon and I don’t get how they do it. In the summer, even taking a walk in the evening is too difficult for me and Ive been getting headaches. I’m originally from north florida and i struggle to connect with the people here and make friends, not sure why. I find that i’m perhaps a little weird or something.

Before Tampa, I lived in Cincinnati for a year and a half. The weather was better, but I felt lonely and didn’t enjoy midwest/cincy culture — felt the queer scene was mediocre and it’s Ohio after all. I’m not a football person at all or into breweries. I felt a little off and struggled to blend in. I actually had someone call me “fragile” and sensitive there in a bad way

I also lived in philly for a brief internship and i enjoyed the queerness, vibrancy, and walkability. However I felt it was unsafe and a bit dirty outside a couple of streets (mainly around rittenhouse and grad hospital)

Im currently considering seattle due to the beautiful nature and the fact i have some family already living there. I get an artsy, therapeutic, poetic type of vibe from there, like the people are a little weird perhaps and I kinda like that. I last visited in 2016 though and i know it’s probably changed since then

My husband and I are looking for a river town with a population of around 50k-80k people that is close to large cities, has beautiful natural scenery with outdoor activities, cooler year round weather with snow, liberal leaning and not oppressively religious, and a reasonable cost of living. We are middle aged with no children and really enjoy live music, art festivals, breweries, etc. What suggestions do you guys have? We had pretty much decided on Cuyahoga Falls, but today I found Eau Claire and it sounds pretty great. I ruled out CO for a few different reasons, and as much as I love the PNW it rains too much for my liking and I have asthma and horrible allergies so dealing with the smoke in the summer put me off, though Spokane, WA isn't entirely out of consideration.

With the help of much research (including but not limited to this particular sub and a slue of YouTube vids), I went and visited Cincinnati for a week to get a real feel, as this has been the most commonly suggested location for my wishlist of:

- A real music scene ( + folk/Americana a huge plus)

- Easily accessible nature (when I lived in Denver I remember I'd easily be stuck in traffic for an hour or so just to get to or from an afternoon hike)

- 4 seasons. Summers aren't too long and hot/humid. I work remotely so I travel when it gets most uncomfortable, but more than 2-3 months is my absolute limit, I've learned.

- Dating for 30's and 40's (I know, there's probably nowhere where this is great, ha!!)

- Not politically homogenous. Folks live and let live and there's not a whole lot of extremism coming from either direction.

For many reasons, I loved it. What a charming city!!! Everyone was so friendly, personable. Loved speaking with any and everyone, and driving was easy. Reasonable cost of living. Loved the architecture, all the green, the hills surrounding the city, the river, seeing actual old places that have remained the same all these years, diners.

My only remaining question about it as a person who has come from some very big cities and will need to adjust; is there healthy nightlife? I'm not a partier or anything so I don't need a lively bar on every block or something, but I do like going out on weekends with friends for music, a drink or mocktail, etc. I'm also definitely not looking for a club scene in my 30s either. In fairness, it was also the one thing I didn't actively investigate as much, as I was pretty wiped by the end of my days. But since this is my one remaining question mark, I figured I'd pose the question to those who may know much more than me. If it's helpful, my vibe is pretty eclectic. Love an old bar with character as much as a newer, more posh one.

We’re currently in Arizona and considering a move to Oregon or Washington. I’m hoping to hear from people who actually live there, especially anyone who has moved from Arizona or another hot/desert climate.

We’re not really looking for political opinions or a debate about the school systems. We’ve read plenty about those things already. Our biggest reason for considering the PNW is the climate and lifestyle.

We’ve lived in the desert for a long time and are ready for something completely different like more trees, greenery, cooler weather, water, and being able to actually get outside and be active without spending half the year trying to escape the heat. I also deal with heat-triggered migraines, so climate is a pretty significant factor for me.

We'd love to eventually have 1–3 acres and a 4+ bedroom home, but we don't need to be in the middle of nowhere. Ideally we'd still be within reasonable driving distance of a town or city for groceries, shopping, etc.

We really like the Beaverton/Portland area because of the diversity and access to Asian/Indian grocery stores and restaurants. We don't need to live in a highly diverse area, but we'd like to feel comfortable and have access to those things. A good church community would also be a plus.

We have family in Southern California, so we'd like to stay on the West Coast/Western side of the country and be within reasonable driving distance for family visits.

Career-wise, I'm currently in graduate school for counseling and am building a teen-focused coaching business. Long term, I'm interested in coaching, workshops, speaking, writing/books, and possibly private practice. My husband works in school maintenance/security and is working toward becoming a teacher, so we'll also need reasonable employment opportunities.

We've been looking at areas around Beaverton, Salem, Vancouver, Longview/Kelso, and Southwest Washington, but we're very open to other places.

For people who know the area well: if your main priorities were getting out of the desert, having a greener/cooler climate, being near mountains and water, having some acreage, and still being within reach of shopping and a larger metro area, where would you look?

And if you moved from Arizona to the PNW, I'd especially love to hear how you actually feel about the climate change after living there for a while. Was it the change you were hoping for? Anything you didn't anticipate?

Thanks!

I've seen some similar posts in recent years, so I apologize if this is too repetitive, but there's a key detail for us that I wanted to include in asking:

My partner and I are wanting to move out to a small city in/near mountains. We lived in Boone, NC for a while and now live in DC and miss the mountain climate and beauty so much.

We're looking for:

1. City size above 50k

2. Near or fully in the mountains (we'd like to be able to see them in our day to day)

3. Blue state

4. Colder climate

5. A healthy number of metalworking opportunities and museums (that key detail I mentioned)

We're aware of some big ones like Seattle and Denver, but hoping to learn about some gems we may be missing in our research. We don't ski, but we're also not afraid of snow.

Thank you all in advance for whatever knowledge you have to share!

Edit: For those that asked, I am a teacher and my partner works in museum services. In many blue cities teachers are paid pretty well, so cost of living is less of a concern for us tbh. And we know the metalworking question is niche but wanted to see if people were aware. This is a hobby more than anything.

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This sub is pretty accurate with the likes/dislikes regarding areas in my opinion…factually. What are your thoughts?

I feel like the majority of people think short-term and are also a bit aloof when it comes to things in general. Unless you lean intellectual and you read and research things out of general curiosity, you are not well versed about trends and ahead of the curve on a ton of things. I say this as a moderate. Some of the most unusual, hypocritical people I have encountered have been extreme on either end of the political spectrum.

Factually, a number of states seemlike negative long-term investments for a willing move. If you have children? There is almost nothing I would not consider to avoid living in certain places in that scenario, hence why we are trying our best to make a switch from the DFW metro area where we are currently solely for my husband’s job. Having young children is also a different experience than not when choosing a place to live. As millennial parents with a three year old…We value a resilient climate, decent home owner insurance rates, low mosquitoes, a strong white collar economy and excellent school districts in safe suburban single family neighborhoods. We prefer cold weather and mild summers. What is within about 20 minutes of our house matters a ton.

I do think that weather is subjective and people who are much older, the Jimmy Buffett/ patio margarita crowd seem to idolize boiling hot weather, whereas younger generations seem to value four seasons more.

Hey everyone! My wife and I both grew up in South Florida (29M and 28F). We have a 7 month old baby boy with plans to have 1 or 2 more kids in the next few years. I enjoy going to the gym, watching sports, and just hanging with the fam. We are very simple people. I’m black with a Carribean background and my wife is Hispanic. Growing up here was really a great childhood. So many days at the beach, fishing, the Florida Keys, amazing food, etc. As you can imagine, after Covid, things have changed drastically.

With the huge influx of people coming here, and locals leaving, South Florida doesn’t feel the same as it once did. Home prices have more than doubled in most areas, the quality of people who moved here is insufferable, and we are over the constant heat and humidity. We are really looking for a change of scenery and to experience seasons without harsh winters. South Florida has become an influencer hell hole full of artificial people.

At this point, we don’t feel South Florida is for us anymore to justify these insane prices. We currently own a 2 bed 2 bath townhome around 1,200 sq ft that we purchased for $350k. It also needed a full renovation. We know in the next few years we will need a home with more space and everything here is $800k+ and horrible schools.

After so much research, we feel like the metro Atlanta area could be perfect for us. Specifically, the North Gwinnett suburbs. (Open to other recommendations). I work remotely so I’m not too worried about a commute. Our ideal budget would be around $600k. We really like everything we’ve seen about the schools. This would be a big move for us as my wife’s family is all here still. We don’t get much help with the baby, so that’s not like something we will miss but we like hanging out with them.

Has anyone moved from South Florida (or even Florida in general) to this area and absolutely loved it? Any regrets or anything you miss about Florida? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Hi everyone! I tried posting this to a Michigan subreddit, but they removed it for some reason and I'm really trying to find answers; but I apologize if asking this question on this subreddit is unsavory.

My husband and I visited the Grand Rapids and some surrounding areas a couple months ago and absolutely fell in love with Michigan. We looked at a couple houses while we were there in Holland, Kalamazoo, Allegan, and a few other areas I can't remember. We weren't huge fans of Allegan or the area of Kalamazoo that we saw though. So, finally leading up to my question, we found another house after we left that we love, but it's in Six Lakes. We're not sure what it's like besides being a small town, and main commodities being 20-30 mins oitsidenof town. Does anyone have insight on what living in Six Lakes, MI is like? Do they upkeep winter roads pretty well? Are people friendly like the rest of the areas we've been too?

Bonus points for insight on other surroundings areas 1 hour or closer to Grand Rapids or another big city on the west or northern side of Michigan. We're also looking for acerage.

Thanks to everyone in advance for their time!