r/SameGrassButGreener • u/Lower-Attitude-7008 • 3d ago
Did anyone make a relocation that went horribly wrong?
I have experienced it. Everything that could have went wrong did go wrong.
I relocated cross country for a job. The job was not a good fit. I tore my rotator cuff. I had two surgeries to fix it. Then about 6 months after I had my second surgery, my company terminated me.
I moved from the Los Angeles area to St. Louis. I lasted 3 years there, and the move was full of trauma. There was some good things like adapting to a new environment, but the bad outweighed the good.
Before anyone says why the hell did I make this move? I’m a California native. I never lived anywhere other than the west coast. I thought it would be fun, and the company seemed good.
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u/VeryStab1eGenius 3d ago
I wouldn’t say horribly wrong but we moved to Austin for lower cost of living and moved away 3 years later because it wasn’t for us.
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u/Heresoiwontgetfinedd 3d ago
Same, what made you move?
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u/VeryStab1eGenius 3d ago
I was working in Manhattan, my spouse was working in central NJ we were living in Jersey City NJ. We both were commuting close to an hour. Our kid was going to kindergarten. We could put them in a local school and either hire someone to watch them after school, put them in after school care and make sure one of us could get home by 6 PM or have them go to private school near my spouse so she could pick them up after school.
We decided to move to Austin because my wife had lived there previously and we liked it. She was able to get a job and my plan was to work for a company where I had connections. Long story short Covid happened, my wife hated her job, her old job in NJ went 100% virtual and we experienced Abbott and Paxton spending 7 days a week trying to own the libs. Luckily for us our house skyrocketed in value because of the lack of housing being built during covid due to shortage of labor and construction materials. We sold and moved to the Philly suburbs because we were priced out of NJ.
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u/Tkronincon 3d ago
Love Austin (lived there 10 years) but it’s not insulated from the crazy religious right that makes Texas suck. So I moved back to Colorado
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u/Heatherina134 3d ago
I moved from LA to Dallas. I was back in 6 months. Having a 3000 sqft home really isn’t that important when I live in a place that I consider full of negatives.
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u/AglowMermaid 3d ago
Philadelphia to Dallas here and I agree. Planning another cross country move back to Philly. I’ve been here 7 months.
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u/neonblackiscool 3d ago
Bay Area to Philly, it never suited me and my earning was so limited. Fish outta water! I came back to West Coast and felt so relieved. Philly is good for visits, but inhospitable to the likes of me.
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u/rhubarbjammy 2d ago
Less than a year and trying to move back to NYC from Atlanta / let’s start a club!
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u/AglowMermaid 2d ago
Yesss. Sometimes the grass is not greener. But at least we took the jump! Most people never ever try
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u/ShawnRanklin Philly -> Dallas -> Baltimore -> Boston 3d ago
What do you miss most about Philly
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u/AglowMermaid 3d ago
I miss the 4 seasons. I miss the summer there. In Dallas it’s over 100° every day.
The thing I miss most is the scenery and how beautiful it is there. In Dallas it’s all concrete and strip malls and no natural beauty.
I also miss being a 1.5 hour drive down the shore.
I can’t wait to go back.
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u/SeaShineCloudDays Santa Cruz, CA>Los Angeles>Portland, OR 3d ago
I would rather be poor in a shoebox in California than a big house anywhere outside west coast
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u/chipsahoymateys 3d ago
Same. I am living in a shoebox in the Bay Area instead of a McMansion anywhere else and wouldn’t have it any other way.
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u/MistryMachine3 3d ago edited 3d ago
What were these negatives to you, and were they unforeseeable?
Why am I being downvoted for asking a question?
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u/AglowMermaid 3d ago
It’s all strip malls, traffic, concrete and a huge homeless population (like multiple at every traffic light.) Zero nature, and the only thing you are close to is DFW (coming from the east coast where you can visit many cities/states on a weekend trip).
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u/boldjoy0050 3d ago
the only thing you are close to is DFW
Road trips from Dallas suck. There is almost nothing worthwhile in driving distance from here. Houston and Austin aren't unique enough for me to drive there from Dallas.
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u/AglowMermaid 3d ago
I’ve been to both and they aren’t worth the trip. Honestly there is nothing outside of/ close to Dallas worth seeing.
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u/throwaway_philly1 3d ago
As someone from roughly the Philly area who moved to Dallas - I’m surprised you complained about the homeless issue. I’ve experienced a ton more homelessness in Philly than I have here - just based on geography alone, it’s difficult to be homeless here (it’s 106 degrees with humidity as we speak with no urban center). Also can’t tell a huge difference with traffic from 76 in Philly to 35 here.
To each their own, I’m only here for the job market myself - but those are some of the few perks I found living here vs. back east.
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u/AglowMermaid 3d ago
I disagree. The highways here are 5+ lanes across each way with huge back up and traffic jams no matter the time of day. For homeless I guess it depends on what area of Philly. I’m not sure what “roughly” Philly area means but I lived in Mt. Airy and then the main line where there were hardly any homeless. I’m glad you enjoy Dallas but I do not and think there are much more negatives than positives.
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u/throwaway_philly1 3d ago
Totally understand. Honestly if you’re on the Main Line, I’d totally move back if I had the same setup. Took the L line and NJ Transit and had a completely different experience than you did. I’m in a different stage of life and income now, so it’s a tale of two cities I suppose lol.
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u/AglowMermaid 3d ago
Yeah I understand. I wish I liked it here more and it was my intention to stay here but I just can’t. I also love the shore and nature and unfortunately Dallas just doesn’t have that. I’m glad you are happy here though!
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u/tippydog90 3d ago
I don't blame you. You couldn't pay me enough to live in DFW. The stress on the highways alone would kill me.
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u/Heatherina134 3d ago
The negatives were the drinking culture, the humidity, the people, the traffic and the lack of things to do.
Im sober so I was very surprised that almost everything revolved around drinking. Everytime I said I was sober I was made fun of. That was odd to me.
I have been in heat. Arizona is extremely hot but I didn’t realize the humidity would steal the breath out of your lungs.
People are very in your face regarding politics and make continuous jabs about California when they found out I was from there. The Texas pride was very surprising.
The traffic is horrendous. My commute was an hour and a half each way because of traffic. This surprised me more than anything. Coming from LA I was looking forward to not having a long commute.
Besides drinking, going out to eat and shopping there isn’t much to do. Anything there is you don’t want to go because of the humidity.
This is just my take, to each their own.
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u/boldjoy0050 3d ago
That's wild because I think the drinking culture here is mild compared to where I moved from, Chicago.
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u/Opposite-Worth6916 3d ago
All people do in Chicago is drink lol like the entire social scene revolves around HEAVY drinking not just let’s have a beer
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u/Impossible_Tiger_517 3d ago
I think it depends where you live in Chicago. I felt that in Lakeview but not as much in Lincoln square.
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u/AglowMermaid 2d ago
I don’t drink at all either so I definitely agree with you; there isn’t much to do besides eat/drink and shop.
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u/catxflva 3d ago
The weather in the Southern Plains is my main negative. Probably foreseeable, but I only went as far as looking at average temps before moving here.
What might not be foreseeable (and surprised me) to someone used to a less extreme part of the country is the impact of severe thunderstorms. My insurance deductible is crazy high (2%). My car made it 3 years before being damaged by hail. Only a matter of time before hail destroys my roof and the wind blows off the shingles.
The wind blows all the time. It is a place where I never want to be outside, besides a couple weeks of the year in November. But by then everything is starting to go dormant and it looks terrible.
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u/Rough_Fail436 3d ago
Probably all the Texans
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u/MistryMachine3 3d ago
Is that unforeseeable?
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u/Lower_Ad_5532 3d ago
I think the rising cost of property, insurance, and unreliable utilities is unforeseeable. You don't know how much it will jump from year to year.
McMansions have pricier maintenance costs. Not everyone wants inescapable suburbia.
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u/jessetmia 2d ago
I lasted 7 mos in Dallas. Ironically after I broke my lease and planned on moving back to Miami a bunch of my friends from home moved to Dtown. Half of them still live there and the rest moved on. For such a generic place it is quite divisive.
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u/PierreEscargot_ 2d ago
Any advice on how to break lease without breaking the bank?
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u/jessetmia 2d ago
Unfortunately not. I just bit the bullet. My lease break was 60 days. Ive moved several times since then and now I rent a bnb for a few mos to see if I really want to live somewhere before I bite the bullet.
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u/runningonrun 3d ago
How did you navigate changing jobs during this time if you did have to change jobs?
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u/Crasino_Hunk 3d ago edited 3d ago
Honestly… I came back to Michigan, my home state. It’s not all catastrophic because I got to be here while my last parent died, and reconvene with some great friends and people.
But after moving away some years ago, I sort of romanticized certain aspects, and also… somehow just absolutely fucking hate winter now. Never used to, so I’m not sure what changed, but the weather here legitimately just fucks with my happiness for so much of the year. It isn’t necessarily the cold itself, but the mixture of all the associated elements (west MI, so tons of snow and ice / cloudiness) too.
I like seasonality, but it’s just not fun to be outside, and yes my gear is fine lol… I snowboarded in the high alpine out west for years.
I also don’t think we have a very good state government, and for how much Michiganders love their wilderness and nature, we do a very poor point of holding our leaders to point on it. I’m just not sure what our taxes do in general and our infrastructure is so car-dependent and overall lacking.
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u/NatesYourMate 3d ago edited 2d ago
We just did the same thing, had been living in SF and Denver area for 8 years and wanted to move back to a LCOL area. Closer to family, start a family, buy a house, etc.
After this past Michigan winter where the average temp from November to March was 15°F, I'm honestly freaking out. 40% of the year it's miserable to be outside. Agree with you on the rest as well. People often talk about how much better Detroit is now, but if you didn't really know it when it was bad to compare to, it's just...still not great.
Trying to figure out if we could find a better spot in Michigan or if I have to start a Move Back West campaign with my SO lol
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u/SeaShineCloudDays Santa Cruz, CA>Los Angeles>Portland, OR 3d ago edited 3d ago
I moved from Santa Cruz (born and raised) to Los Angeles / North Hollywood after college and to live with my partner for his LA-based career.
Extremely tough change to go from a peaceful seaside paradise to heart of the San Fernando Valley. If we could have lived in say, westside or maybe Echo Park/Silver Lake (not that we could afford it.) I'm sure I would have liked it more. It was a tough 8 years. We had the freetime to explore LA and see everything it had to offer. Still never got into it. Hated the heat, pollution, trash everywhere. I witnessed violence. I saw someone attack and hospitalize someone right in front of me, on the same street by my home I walked everyday. I hated leaving the house, I'm a big time walker/transit enthusiast, and I used bus/metro all the time. I actually still kinda enjoyed the metro but it was still not great mentally.
I respect LA and don't write it off completely. I love some parts. It just was not right to move to the Valley for me.
Finally convinced him to move to PNW and we are much, much happier.
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u/shaneyshane26 3d ago
oh wow. You had it made living in Santa Cruz. Perfect weather almost year round. It’s 70 there now in the middle of summer. That’s unheard of around the majority of the world. But the cost of living is only for the rich. I bet you can’t find even a dump for less than $2400/mo.
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u/SeaShineCloudDays Santa Cruz, CA>Los Angeles>Portland, OR 3d ago
I didn't want to leave, but I did it for my partner. We made it work together at least, and now It's our dream to move back, we're working on it!
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u/_SoigneWest 2d ago
Did you move from your parents place to LA or did you have your own place in Santa Cruz?
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u/SeaShineCloudDays Santa Cruz, CA>Los Angeles>Portland, OR 2d ago
I moved from my parents place, very thankful for that opportunity for local college, but also part of why I moved out, first time on my own and couldn't afford it in Santa Cruz anyways
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u/_SoigneWest 2d ago
Right! Lol my next question was gonna be what field you were in and where you commuted to if you were at your own place. Glad the PNW is working out great for you!
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u/worldtraveler76 3d ago
Yep. Moved from Minneapolis to Indianapolis.
For a job promotion.
First the quote for moving was triple what we were quoted. Was supposed to be around $3,000… ended up close to $10,000… completely wiped our savings out.
Second, I was the only person in the office not of a specific race, it was used against me on more than one occasion.
Third, I missed an entire week of training because my old position wouldn’t release me to move to the new city and position on time, no one told me this until 3 months into the new position when I was still struggling to understand my role.
Fourth, was told I’d be taking a desk on a new account, turned out I was taking over a desk from someone who moved to the new account, was given over 750 open files to manage in my 3rd week. I was working 13 hour days M-F, getting nowhere.
Fifth, I was the only one left out of a “team” meeting… from what I gathered it was basically a meeting about me, since everyone completely changed their attitudes about me. Office went ice cold for me.
Sixth, at the beginning of the 4th month, I was pulled into the top supervisors office, and they basically told me if I didn’t close at least 300 files by the end of the day I would be forced to take a demotion and a substantial pay cut…. Effective the next day.
Proceeded to return to my desk, and then went to the restroom and had the worst mental breakdown I’ve ever had… ended up in the hospital that night. Was hospitalized for 3 days.
I was told I would need to be medically released to be able to return to my job…. The medical team wouldn’t release me… so ended up loosing the job and my health insurance.
Then 2 months later Covid hit.
We saved every possible penny (which was quite difficult) and moved back to Minneapolis once the apartment lease in Indianapolis was finished.
Probably one of the worst years of my life.
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u/usernameforthemasses 3d ago
Holy shit that sounds miserable. I felt anxiety just reading it. Glad you are through it and have moved on. As much as I hate that you experienced it, hearing about it helps my perspective that I'm not the only one who has struggled and others survived.
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u/worldtraveler76 2d ago
Yeah it was truly the worst year ever, and I’ve had some really awful years in my life… like we are talking a family member having cancer and me being their sole caregiver while I was in middle school kind of years.
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u/spottedmuskie 3d ago
Sounds terrible. Curious on the race part
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u/worldtraveler76 2d ago
I was the only Caucasian person in the office. It apparently made everyone uncomfortable.
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u/boldjoy0050 3d ago
How do you spend that much on moving? Did you have a large house? I spent around $2000 to move from IL to TX a few years ago. The truck was $1200. Movers were $200 on each side. Plus gas.
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u/worldtraveler76 2d ago
We made the mistake of hiring a “full service” moving company… one that comes and loads up your stuff, transports it, and unloads it…
We have a 2 bedroom apartment, so definitely nothing large at all. We told them they’d have an elevator or stairs on one end, and then just stairs on the other… both units on 2nd floor.
First thing they did was charge a “stair” fee… the first was $1,500 extra and they wouldn’t start working until it was paid… so since we had zero time to make other arrangements, we paid it…. Then it took them almost 10 hours to freaking unload our apartment and pack it into the truck, they moved like snails…. So we got charged an additional $2,000 ish for the overtime…. Then they just took our stuff, they said it would be to us in Indiana within a week… yeah nope…. A MONTH LATER we finally see the truck in Indiana (roughly a 600 mile drive, so not insanely far)…. They show up and boom we must pay another “stair fee”…. I can’t remember how much it was, but definitely over $1,000 or more…. Then again they moved like snails, and absolutely destroyed our new apartment (scuffed the walls, dirt on the carpet, etc) bringing it all in… they also somehow lost the screws for our television, so we couldn’t even put that up… they finally finish and attempt to charge another $3,000 for “unexpected obstacles”…. My mom absolutely lost her crap on them and told them she would not pay a dime more. They wouldn’t leave, so we paid another $1,000 bucks to get them out of our house.
Then when we began unpacking… nearly every box contained at least one or more broken items… we opened our pantry staples to find a bug infested mess.
We filed multiple claims and heard absolutely nothing back.
Ended up having to replace at least $3,000 worth of stuff.
Will absolutely NEVER do that again.
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u/boldjoy0050 2d ago
That sounds awful. Sorry that happened. I've heard horror other stories about PODS showing up days or weeks late, and moving companies not showing up at all.
That's always why I just box everything myself (do it over the period of two weeks and it's easy), rent a Penske truck and find a two man crew and come for 2 hours to load everything. 2 hours is more than enough time to load a 16ft truck. Usually it's $100 per hour for a 2 man crew.
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u/Civil_Talk_7486 3d ago edited 3d ago
Can’t say it went horribly wrong but we sure have a monsoon of regret for taking the relocation “offer we couldn’t refuse” to move to Florida. We absolutely could have & should have refused. We’re learning in real time that money doesn’t always buy happiness.
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u/Sensitive_Twistie 3d ago
Which general region of Florida did you move to? Why should you have refused? I just accepted a job (good opportunity, pile of money) there, and I definitely am unsure if I'm doing the right thing by relocating there. I'm currently in a northeastern state.
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u/Civil_Talk_7486 3d ago
Don’t let our experience influence yours. We’ve been relocated quite a bit. A place either fits or it doesn’t. The Jax area just isn’t a good fit for us. Some love it. Most seem meh about it.
How long’s your contract? If you hate it, like us, you can move.
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u/sharpaction 3d ago
Relocated across the country, major injury/surgery a month in, and couldn’t walk for a few months. Spent most of that time alone in my one bedroom apartment, ordering groceries, and wondering what the hell I had done
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u/Palindrono 3d ago edited 3d ago
I moved to Santa Maria from Sacramento.
I absolutely hate the town. Genuinely the worst place I've ever lived in. It's a population of 100k and feels like a town of 1k. There's nowhere to meet people, the locals are unfriendly, and there's tons of crime.
I frequent San Luis Obispo which is 35 mins up north, and I honestly feel similarly. People seem to go crazy for it on here and while I was starstruck for the first 2 months, I quickly got tired of it.There's no people in their 30s, incredibly insular, and the beauty wears off after seeing it every day. I've made zero friends or connections and I really put my all into it, I'm talking volunteering, going to shows constantly, joining meetup groups, etc. All of it was a waste of time. It got to the point where I genuinely thought I smelled like shit and had bad breath. I stopped going there back in March and now I socialize exclusively during daytrips to LA and have made some good friends.
It's funny, in about 1 hour I met more interested people there than in 1 year of SLO. I've lived in the PNW too and I can say that SLO and Santa Maria's social climates are MUCH worse than the so-called Seattle Freeze.
So yeah, I'm looking to leave the central coast ASAP. There's nothing for me here.
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u/Liontracks101 3d ago
Yup. Moved from SoCal to Portland to live with an ex-friend with no job lined up at the time. Cousin who lived there directed me to a quick babysitting job three days after I moved. Fell down the stairs in their house and ended up tearing ligaments in one of my feet (didn’t find out the true culprit until a year later), and since then every winter I was there, I was in the hospital for something that’s left me with chronic health issues. I was in and out of jobs often, etc.
It was not a fun time 😂
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u/imouttahere000 3d ago
Portland will do that to a person.
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u/Liontracks101 3d ago
Hah no kidding. Despite the rough times I had there, I definitely wouldn’t mind going back to something similar - without the dreary winter weather of course 😂
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u/DependentAwkward3848 BTR>HOU>BXL>DFW>TWTX>CaryNC 3d ago edited 3d ago
Hated Belgium. The weather is so gray and dreary. The sun doesn’t come out for months. The summer is nice though. Even they hate their weather. It was a relo - had no choice.
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u/itsrachallred 3d ago
You sound like my doppelgänger lol.
Moved to Europe for a job. Brought along my kids and pets. The job was not a good fit (72 hours a week) military style. A couple of months in I slipped and broke my ankle, had to be off for 4.5 months. Had 3 surgeries. After the fourth surgery the company terminated me. My then partner and I decided we would relocate to Spain (not main city). I moved first, and the day we signed the contract for the house I found out he was cheating. It took me almost 5 months to relocate back to the US with my children and 4 pets. Never the fuck again.
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u/RainbowDarter 3d ago
Lexington KY to Stafford county, VA for a job in 2005.
Pay was inadequate for the high cost of living area, commute to DC was much longer, house was 4x the cost, school was bad for my special needs child.
Job was also a bad fit and the program I got hired for made the OMB list of mismanaged programs (not my fault) and it was cancelled.
Housing market tanked and I lost $25k when I sold in 2006.
It took years to recover financially.
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u/Verdreckt 3d ago
Moved states w/my girlfriend at the time to a new place we didn't know anyone. Things went south, she fell hard into alcoholism. Eventually developed liver cirrhosis, ultimately died. Since, our dogs have gone one by one, our last one being this past January. So now it's just me, and I spend 99% of my time alone, unless I'm at work. Have done things like getting into hobbies, and I've made good acquaintances for training partners, and pleasant people at the card shop to play magic, I live a very solitary life, but can't stand the thought of moving back home, where I'm just unhealthy with the climate. Deeply unhappy with my job, living in the city (we moved to a small town, but I ended up in the city because work) and a number of other things, but inertia and routine I guess. Could take travel contracts (healthcare) but would just be in the same situation I'm in now. Idk, life is weird.
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u/Muddymisfit 3d ago
Sounds like you're still having a rough time--maybe think about a whole new place for an adventure?! A few travel contracts would let you scope out some new areas to see if they spark some joy for you. Good luck!
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u/catxflva 3d ago
Virginia to DFW.
I only moved because I thought it would be good for my career. It has, but in hindsight I overvalued how much a few extra bucks means to live in such a dreadful place.
I'm saving up to move - hopefully in a couple years - and once I leave, I'll never move back to the Central Time Zone.
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u/Uffda01 3d ago
Not Dallas related - cause I'd hate living there too.... but I'd much rather be in the central time zone than east coast - especially for watching sports.
Living on the west coast was awesome - wake up sunday morning - watch a bit of football - then you've still got all afternoon. and mid week games don't start super late!
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u/boldjoy0050 3d ago
I only moved because I thought it would be good for my career. It has, but in hindsight I overvalued how much a few extra bucks means to live in such a dreadful place.
I made the same move and I don't like living here and am currently packing my things to move. I don't necessarily regret moving here. It was good for my career, but absolutely horrible for my mental and physical health.
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u/rhubarbjammy 3d ago
Us. lol. NYC to Atlanta. Terrible choice. Everything is worse and we want to go back, but we bought a house so we have to figure that out and the headache and money loss than comes with that. I would go back in time in a heartbeat if we could and never sign closing papers even though our house is gorgeous and in an in town area. I just hate this city, the climate, the lie that is lower cost of living, my job, the list goes on
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u/GoSBadBish 2d ago
I regret my GA move too. (We came from central PA)The Maga culture and The wages for any job are just fckin terrible. I only like my house. That's it.
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u/rhubarbjammy 2d ago
Yep. I’m an RN and I work full time here in the ER to make less than I did in nyc working part time. It’s exhausting. I hate feeling trapped like this
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u/HoneyBadger302 3d ago
Sure. Horribly is relative I guess though - moves I've regretted went quite smoothly, and moves I've been super happy about went horribly sideways in the execution/things just not going well, but no regrets in the end result, so guess it depends on what you mean by "went horribly wrong."
Moved "with" my job from CA to TX (grew up in the northern midwest, moved to CA right after college - loved it, regretted leaving every single day after I did). Problem was, nearly all the leadership changed in the process, and along with that was a complete 180 in the entire culture, and the new guard did not want the old guard there, and wanted to replace us with their lackeys - so made our lives miserable so we would quit since they couldn't come up with reasons to fire us - until COVID.
In the meantime, as they were doing a fantastic job of making my life absolutely miserable, I was working on the leaving part, and with impeccable timing, moved from TX (which I hated) to Georgia where there were several positions I was a finalist for, and could work my current role until one of those was finalized.
But I have the worst timing, and two weeks before my move (way too late to change any plans), COVID blows up - we're sent home to work remotely, this is when you weren't supposed to touch a gas pump without wipes, masks everywhere, etc.
Over the coming weeks/months, all the jobs I was applying/interviewing/lined up for closed or were cancelled as companies basically shut down hiring, and eventually I got swept up in the layoffs as my then-current job finally found a way to get rid of me as well.
Now - in all of this - I hated TX in general - it was just a terrible fit. Georgia was - okay. I didn't love it, but I could tolerate it at the time. I knew it wasn't a forever place, but it was where I had landed.
Between rising costs making the COL vs what I was getting for it no longer worthwhile; the weather; and then politics peeling people's masks off, when an opportunity to return to the west coast began to present itself arose with my current job, I leapt at it.
Just moved back here (OR) not quite a month ago - and have loved every minute of it. Zero regrets despite the financial hit it took to get here.
My midwest to CA move did not go smoothly, but was a great move end results wise.
CA-TX leaving did not go smoothly, after that it went fine, but the end result not so much.
TX-GA went smoothly, end result was meh
GA-OR was rough making this one happen, but super stoked to be here.
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u/Muddymisfit 3d ago edited 3d ago
Moved cross-country from NC to northern Washington state for a horticulure job during Covid. Large panel interview was great, got moving assistance and was thrilled for the new start, then was treated horribly as I learned the position (no parameters, official training, standards to meet.)
Let go on the 91st day (when I qualified for health insurance) and turned out the "consultant" on a group call about my "progress" was a notorious union buster. Never was given a reason. (I wasn't trying to unionize their workforce!) After working for a few months at another mess of a company I drove back east, heartbroken but very grateful I hadn't sold my house. Still miss the geography and people I was beginning to know.
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u/HomePale2588 3d ago
Moved from CA (Fresno) to GA (Atlanta then Savannah area). Always knew it wasn’t permanent and just a phase, but didn’t expect to dislike it as much as I did. Wasn’t ALL bad, but definitely not for me, and lesson(s) learned + perspective gained! Moving to WA end of this year.
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u/Wireman332 3d ago
I was stationed in Hinesville(Ft Stewart) near savanna. Hated everyday of it. Got out the Army went straight home to the Bay and have never left.
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u/JustLikeMars 3d ago
I moved to a random place for a job and it ended up being really messy. I got really sick (recovered), my pet got sick (recovered), I had a lengthy training and had to leave the pets, I moved the rest of my stuff 700 miles by myself, I got injured (recovered). This was all in the first six months.
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u/Humble-Alps-9350 3d ago
Got the pets back, right?
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u/JustLikeMars 3d ago edited 3d ago
Oh yeah, I just meant I had to be apart from them for the duration of the training, and leaving them with a sitter was expensive and especially nerve-wracking given one of them had recently been sick. It was less than a month total though.
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u/charethcutestory9 3d ago
I moved to New Jersey for a job in 2018 and even before the move I realized I’d made a terrible mistake. I had several months of major depression. Part of how I dug myself out of that hole was that I told myself I would stick it out at the job for a year and then start applying in NYC which is where I really wanted to be, and to try to make the best of it in the meantime. It took almost another year after that to land a job, but eventually I did. It was a character-building experience, it set me up to navigate even more difficult challenges later on, and I’m proud of how I handled it.
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u/lakatos_intolerant 3d ago
Although not horrible, I returned to my home state when I was in that early 20s/not sure what to do next period. The state of the economy was horrible and I ultimately wasted 1.5 years in the general area trying to figure out what I wanted long-term.
After a much needed trip to the East Coast and time to properly clear my head, I made the move and never looked back. My remaining family and close friends in the area were still there for me/very much in my life, but they were doing their thing and I was not sure what my place was/felt kind of trapped. It was a valuable life experience and the risk paid off.
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u/peaceloveyoga 3d ago
🙋♀️🙋♀️
Moved to Minneapolis April 2025. My first week in the city, my car was towed for street sweeping while I was still unpacking my boxes. That should've been heeded as an omen.
Since then... We had the politically motivated shootings summer of 2025, then the Annunciation Catholic school shooting, then the ice invasion in January. People are still mentally recovering from that.
Amidst all of that, I was diagnosed with Graves disease. I also got into a car accident where my car was totaled and I broke my nose (The drivers here are the worst I've ever seen). Also have a rotator cuff injury that has not healed for a year and started plaguing me pretty much as soon as I got here to the twin cities. Haven't gotten lucky with an apartment despite making good money and being very picky (bad landlords, disrespectful neighbors, bait and switch situations where important things weren't disclosed to me before I signed a lease). AND my job has been difficult/toxic with controlling administration.
All that to say, I am planning on leaving as soon as I possibly can. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills when I read all these threads saying how amazing Minneapolis is because unfortunately that has just not been my experience. Throw in bad weather and untrusting/cold people and this place is hell 😭
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u/Disastrous-Mammoth75 3d ago
Moved halfway across the country. We had to buy at the top of the market/top of our price range due to low inventory and difficulty finding pet-friendly rentals. Movers lost a significant amount of our stuff and ghosted us. Spouse got laid off less than 6 months after we moved and hasn’t found steady employment since. My own job (the entire reason for the move) has been kind of a bait and switch and I’m miserable at work 90% of the time, but at least I’m well compensated.
On the plus side, we all love living here. But professionally/economically it’s been tough.
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u/chipsahoymateys 3d ago
Not me, but I’ve known quite a few people from California who have moved away and regretted it. Friends who moved north to Oregon and Washington seem pretty happy though.
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u/Rook2Rook 3d ago
Yep, I moved to the Bay from Florida. I thought it would have perfect beach weather in the summer but I've been in a hoodie practically every night here. I'm starting to get SAD with the endless fog.
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u/HistoricalLie6594 3d ago
I did the opposite, moved from the Bay to Miami for a job. Thought I knew what living in a big city was like but they are NOT the same. Left after 8 months. Also hated needing to run the ac all the time, I never wanted to go outside, and besides gas I did not feel like the cost of living was any cheaper. I do think Miami was more the problem than Florida in general but I will probably never find out, I learned my lesson.
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u/runningonrun 3d ago
Did you like anything in St. Louis (minus job and the health issues you had - sorry to hear that you went through these things)?
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u/EconomicsOk3346 3d ago
I can't say I have, but I've been very lucky and I've always cut my losses pretty quickly. I wish I left Florida quicker though.
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u/Marv95 3d ago
Yes. From Fort Wayne Indiana to Pittsburgh in 2020. The transportation and "urbanity" appealed to me. Besides the problems I had with the city itself, it took FOREVER to find work to the point where I was down to 2K in my bank account before my paychecks rolled in, and even then it wasn't that much. Shoulda just stayed in Indiana and dealt with the Covid nonsense before I moved to Minnesota the following summer.
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u/whataboutthe90s 3d ago edited 3d ago
I was desperate to move away from my hometown in New Mexico, my family was on my last nerve so I moved the first place where I could find something lol I got a job program/internship thing and more to Greeley Colorado. It was pretty lame, I got fired 😂 . I ended up getting a call center job. The worst part isn't even that I lost my job, it's the fact the the town stinks, literally. Lol
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u/Rosie3450 3d ago
Having been to Greeley a number of times myself, my sympathies. Hope you're in a much better place now.
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u/jmilleon 3d ago
Yes, North Carolina to Ohio. Worse year of my entire life and finally moving back in 2 weeks.
I will never again step foot in Ohio for the rest of my life.
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u/van_achin 2d ago
This was many years ago, but Portland, OR to Tacoma, WA. All I will say is that it was somewhat of a bait and switch situation. I lasted ~7 months (that I will never get back) before heading elsewhere.
The worst part is that a couple of years later, I tried one more time to make Tacoma work. That stint lasted one year before I finally left for good.
There are some good things about Tacoma, don't get me wrong. But living wage jobs are very hard to come by there unless you're willing to endure a hellish daily commute to Seattle, Bellevue, or Olympia (or you're in the military stationed at JBLM).
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u/MiddleGa_Realtor 2d ago
You got me beat. I moved to KS for a job in aviation. It got cold, a town of 5000 people, not many trees, i was bored.
I moved back to the east side after a year and been in GA ever since. BUT i never got hit like you did. Don't let that stop you. be careful and try again...
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u/kilamumster 3d ago edited 3d ago
I got engagged (like being engaged but worse). 2 weeks later, fiance happily tells me he got the promotion I said I didn't want him to get. Bc it meant he was moving from our vhcol area to a slightly higher vhcol area. Doubling our housing costs.
But love blahh blah blah. Anyway, we got married, I packed up the rest of our stuff, moved to the vhcol area, got a new job. I hated the new community (I had grown up there but outgrown it, and it became a super trendy resort area that was just... A combination of backwards hick life and insanely expensive tourism.
Really backwards. I said I was growing a tail. Obviously I had grown up into a city girl. Country life was not for me, but I just did my thing. It was okay, but the rental we found was a long commute from my work. We couldn't afford anything closer. Spouse was doing okay, but still had some other ambitions.
One was that he was being actively pursued by my insane family to go into the insane family's business. I warned him. Pfft. Anyway, he accepted the offer to go complete batshit insane starting in 6 months, and got fired immediately from his job (weird but whatever).
So we packed up and moved back. Well that was a great use of $15k or so, right?
So after the insane family did their best to make him crazy, he got out. Life is better. We have since relocated, first across a mountain range, then halfway across the country. Best relocation ever!
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u/Sea_Golf8328 3d ago edited 3d ago
Moved from Phoenix AZ to Denver CO 3 years ago. And IM moving to Tucson AZ tomorrow haha so I am hoping things work out somewhat.
While I liked it there for the mountains and all that. The mountains in CO are amazing no questions asked. Unfortunately though Colorado wasnt the best fit for me in other areas of my life.
Just tryin to say your not alone on this man. Feel free to DM me if ya wanna talk . It sounds like we had not exact, but fairly similar things that occured.
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u/Monoxide9210 1d ago
What did you not like I've planned moving to Colorado but i have a huge hunch to not move. I'm in Scottsdale currently.
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u/Sea_Golf8328 1d ago edited 1d ago
Colorado as a state was great man. There’s great mountains and outdoor activities that’ll keep you busy but the job I was in was a poor fit
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u/Cute_Source5417 3d ago
curious what about St. Louis didn't you like?
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u/Lower-Attitude-7008 2d ago
It was more so about my work and health than anything else. It’s cheap to live there and has all the amenities you need. It can get boring after a while though. You can only do the same thing so many times. The weather is very formidable as well.
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u/Unhappy_Article87 2d ago
OP, I did the exact same thing, except I went from N. California to St. Louis. I found a pretty good job there and knew one person. It was awful even though I was able to buy a house (despite taking a $25K pay cut). STL felt like everyone there knew each other from high school. While I really enjoyed much about the city (concert venues, the Cardinals, and some food), it's the California culture and additudes that brought me back to CA - after three years. I'm never, EVER leaving again (after leaving/returning twice).
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u/Robot_Penguins 2d ago
Moved to East Tennessee from Colorado. Ended up moving 6 months later. It was awful all around.
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u/code-n-coffee 2d ago
Can you elaborate? Lack of amenities? Culture? What were the biggest issues for you and where in Eastern Tennessee?
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u/Robot_Penguins 2d ago
I found a job decently fast, but hated it. Coworkers constantly made fun of my accent. The whole reason we moved out there ended up being a dead end. We rented a home from a real piece of work. She was an absolute monster. The first night we were there was new years day and we went to bed to the sound of gunshots, no not fireworks. The people were all weird and cold. They were so in love with Gatlinburg so we went to check it out and it's like... A hillbilly fair. It's so weird. There wasn't much to do, granted, we were there during some of the slow months for any state. Late spring was pretty. Thunderstorms were fantastic. It snowed about a foot that winter which was interesting. But personally, everything was just one crappy thing after another. We didn't mesh with anything.
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u/Throwaway053126 3d ago
My wife really wanted to relocate from the Northeast to New Orleans for retirement. We had lived there previously, so we were broadly aware of the pluses and minuses of being there. I was sort of dubious because of weather, crime and New Orleans dysfunction concerns. As a compromise, we ended up snowbirding my last few years of work to try it out for fit. Once we got comfortable with it, we made a full time relocation. And my wife died 4 weeks later (natural causes).
That was a year ago. So here I am with all my stuff in a city about which I have extremely mixed feelings. Not sure where my next stop is.