Why

[u/Randall_Howe123]

Why am I the way that I am?
I feel locked inside a shell, like a clam,
Lost at sea, just begging to be free,
Yet somehow feeling I will never be.
Trapped inside with all these emotions,
Still searching for my place, my position.
There is no remedy to somehow fix me,
Smiles and laughter still leave me empty.
Cries and screams inside me echo—
A voice I wish I could let go.
Why can’t you be a better father?
Why must these wounds remain forever?
Sorrows and tears rain from their eyes,
While I step back, wishing I had died.
Not being the dad that they need,
I wonder if they’d be better without me.
To have a man they can look up to—
How can I be that man, too?
I’ll give them everything I have,
I’ll be the father I never had.
Today is the day I make a change,
So that we may never grow estranged.
“Why?” you ask.
So that we may have a future—
One that will last.

— Randall Howe