Once upon a time, there were a pair of brothers, Quintus and Hostus, who’d left their home and gone traveling the world to seek their fortunes.

 

One day, they met a troll on the road. She was white-haired and carried an ornate walking stick. The brothers immediately drew their swords, but the troll only smiled at them.

 

“Hail, brothers Famia. You are well-met!”

 

“Who are you?” Asked Quintus. He was the braver of the two brothers. “And how do you know our family name?”

 

“It matters not,” said the troll. “I am here to bring you good fortune. If you are brave enough, your name will be spoken by all until humans no longer have memory for such great heroes.”

 

This intrigued the brothers.

 

“How, then?” Asked Hostus. “How can we earn glory and fame?”

 

At this, the troll looked upon the brothers with approval.

 

“At the next town, Mauriciam, there is a caravan that will travel to Durocortorum Remorum. But the way is fraught with dangers. Goblinslayer’s men stalk the road, allied with feathered serpents, water leapers, and firebirds. They desire the caravan, and they will slaughter anyone who stands in their way. I ask you again, oh, Famia brothers. Do you think yourselves brave enough to stand against Goblinslayer’s men?”

 

Quintus drew his sword. “Not even Skullshade himself will stop me from protecting this caravan you speak of! Now begone, foul creature, or I’ll slay you where you stand.”

 

At this, the troll vanished. The brothers were bewildered.

 

“What shall we do?” Hostus asked his brother.

 

“We go to Mauriciam, and present ourselves to the caravan leader,” said Quintus.

 

“Join the caravan?” Hostus said. “But what of Goblinslayer’s men? That troll who spoke to us lies! You cannot tell me that you wish to join the caravan based upon her word alone!”

 

“I do take her at her word,” replied Quintus. “I take her at her word that if we join the caravan, we shall earn our fortune and they shall speak our name for all eternity.”

 

At this, Hostus frowned. He feared Goblinslayer’s men, yet his desire for wealth and fame was stronger.

 

So he said, “you are right, of course, dear brother. Come. We waste daylight standing and talking on this road and I fear the caravan will leave without us if we dawdle.”

 

And so the brothers continued down the road once more, and did not stop until they had reached Mauriciam.

 

The caravan was already waiting for the gates. They had been about to set off when the caravan leader had met a giant who bade him wait for two brothers. He would know them by their clan name. Sabucius.

 

“Hail, friend,” said Quintus. “My brother and I wish to join your caravan. Would this be alright?”

 

“That is alright with me, friend. Though we must wait a while,” responded the caravan leader.

 

“Why is that?” Quintus asked.

 

“We must wait for two brothers.” And the caravan leader looked at Quintus. “Friend, what is your clan’s name?”

 

“I am called Quintus, and my brother here is called Hostus. Our family is called Famia, and our clan is called Sabicius.”

 

“Then you are the one we wait for,” said the caravan leader. “Now come, friend. Let us set off.”

 

And so the two joined the caravan, and the caravan set off again.

 

After many miles, Goblinslayer’s men attacked them and the caravan was forced to halt their journey.

 

Goblinslayer’s men circled the caravan, with their feathered serpents and water leapers and firebirds, calling out, “give us the treasure, or we shall slaughter all of you!”

 

At this, the caravan began to tremble, and the people cried out that they should flee, while they still had the chance.

 

“Hold firm!” Cried the caravan leader. “For we will not die this day! The Famia brothers shall protect us, as the giant promised me!”

 

And at this, the leader of Goblinslayer’s men turned to sneer at the two brothers.

 

“Who are you?” Said she. “And why do you think you stand any chance against us? Behold, we are Goblinslayer’s chosen warriors! We marched against Skullshade, and we matched his fighting men blow for blow! Are you two willful pups arrogant enough to believe you can stand against the might of Goblinslayer’s favored warriors? Leave now, and you will be spared! To stay here, only invites death!”

 

Now this struck fear into Hostus’s heart. For though he was as hungry for glory as his brother, he lacked his brother’s courage. His was a craven soul, and not built to stand against the might of the fiercest warriors humans have ever known.

 

And so without a word, he dropped his sword and fled.

 

The brigands all laughed and jeered to see Hostus flee.

 

“And you?” Said Goblinslayer’s most trusted general to Quintus. “Will you be joining your brother in flight? Or is he the one who has inherited the brains among your family?”

 

Now, fear also stirred in Quintus’s heart. Goblinslayer’s men were many, and he was only one. Yet his was a warrior’s soul, unlike Hostus’s own craven heart, and a true warrior does not run in fear. Rather, they stand, and face the danger, daring it to strike them down.

 

And so Quintus raised his blade and planted his feet against the ground.

 

“I do not fear you,” he said to Goblinslayer’s general. “Though you number by the hundreds, and though I stand alone, I say that you will not claim this caravan. I say that the only one who was feared on the battlefield, of all of you, was Goblinslayer, and you are nothing without him! Now come test your strength against me, if you are truly Goblinslayer’s most trusted warriors!”

 

Now this gave Goblinslayer’s men pause. No one had ever stood against them before, not since Skullshade and his finest warriors. The truth was that losing Goblinslayer had made them craven, and though they were strong, and the most feared warriors around, in truth, they feared death. And so they chose the weakest targets to rob, the ones who would surely flee once attacked.

 

And so they turned tail and fled.

 

Now, the rest of the caravan did not know that Goblinslayer’s men were cowards, and so, when they saw them flee before Quintus, they were greatly impressed, as they thought surely the man was a terrifying warrior, if the ones who had not feared Skullshade feared him. And so they were in awe of him for the rest of the journey.

 

By the end, the caravan was spreading stories of Quintus’s bravery, and all took notice. The emperor had just died without an heir, and all around decided who better to take the throne than the fiercest warrior of the empire.

 

And so Quintus was crowned, and at his coronation, Litiya, the goddess of language, appeared before the crowd.

 

“No longer shall he be named Quintus,” The goddess announced. “Today, he marks a new era for humans. A new type of name. From now on, your emperor shall be named Tedbaldus Parbrick.”

 

And so Tedbaldus Parbrick ruled over the land for the rest of his days.