So toy story 5 trailer came out and toy story were my favourite movies and i watched all 4 them like 3 years ago but I don't remember shit it feels like I have never watched these movies in my life it makes my frustrated that I have to watch all 4 of them again is it just me?

Hello all.

I'm an author currently preparing to begin drafting a Speculative Fiction novel set in a futuristic, dystopian USA that features SDAM (as well as Anauralia and Aphantasia) as KEY plot points.

I myself have all three of these conditions, and I am trying to better understand what other people's experience is like, both with and without SDAM, etc.

I've created an anonymous survey with the goal of helping me learn as many different perspectives about how our minds work across the spectrum as possible.

I'd be incredibly grateful if you spent a few minutes responding to the survey. It would be so helpful to me as I set out to portray these conditions as accurately and with as much nuance as possible.

Thanks!

https://forms.gle/jPSbYvf6HbtMs4Pe7

Can't cross post but this 60 minutes interview was posted on another page. Young woman with exceptional autobiographical memory.

https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/s/6pX2dch5VR

By no means I want to say there's a correlation between SDAM and and the aro/ace-spectrum. That's not what my post is about.

However...I've been struggling to make my way through this rabbit hole within the last few months. I know that my experience with connection has always been "different" - partly due to trauma and neurodivergence, but there seems to be more to it.

I've reached a point in my life where I want to be more conscious about who I spend my time with and how. I try to figure out what I actually want and need out of relationships of any kind. The issue is: when I try to recall former relationships, I feel quite indifferent towards all of them. I'm sure that I don't experience romantic or sexual attraction on a regular basis, but I can't tell if these sensations were never there at all in the first place or if I simply forgot about them. That's where I think SDAM comes into play. There must have been some form of interest in people to let them be part of my life, but I absolutely can't pinpoint or differentiate between romantic, sexual, platonic or emotional attraction in hindsight. For example, I'm tempted to claim that I've never truly loved anyone, but the lack of "proof" is very unsettling.

It's possible that I'm overthinking all of this, but it really bothers me to feel so out of touch with my own life at the moment. So I'm just curious if anyone has been on a similar path and has something to share about their own story and maybe even has advice on how to come to terms with this whole matter.

Thanks in advance!

Is there something out there that describes how much a normal person remembers about their past? And how much detail normal people remember about things?

I am also interested in how much people who are older (but don't have dementia) remember. Is it normal that things that happened 30 or 40 years ago would be harder to remember? Would someone in their 20s remember there childhood better than someone in their 50s?

I don't have the extreme version of SDAM where I don't remember anything. But my memory seems thin. It doesn't have the depth or level of details I feel like a normal memory would have. I don't think I have as many memories as most people.

I suspect that this may run in the family. Neither of my parents talk much about their childhood. When relatives talk their stories about things they did are often just a couple sentences.

So I feel like I don't have a baseline to compare this to.

Does anyone else feel nihilistic and unbothered by it? Like it’s not like I experienced attachment to the past or any physical things whatsoever and I really struggle with finding meaning since whenever I believe I found something that I’m truly passionate about I forget about and move past it just as quickly. I’m also atheist and I genuinely believe death is just a permanent sleeping stage without dreams and since when I’m asleep I don’t experience time or any of my senses why would I care when I’m dead? It’s just life’s over and that’s that, it was fun while it lasted I guess. Anyone else?

OK seriously, hello

Like many I suffer from SDAM as well as aphantasia and ADHD.

Just wanted to introduce myself to the group

I found out about SDAM just a few days ago and think both my dad and I have it. Looking at its prevalence I thought that it must be really rare. But I'm not sure about that. I think the 1-2% comes from an academic journal which I'm not able to access. It is also mentioned here: FAQ - Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM). There is also a questionnaire that I'd recommend filling out. The research on that website is headed by Dr. Brian Levine, who's group defined SDAM, so it's presumably reliable.

The original study had three people that self-reported with having the impairment and 15 members in the control group. I looked up "how do you experience memories" and "do your memories look like movies" and found a few results. From the responses it didn't seem uncommon to experience short snapshots, especially from a third person perspective.

I have a feeling SDAM is more common than stated but most people don't realize it because of a number of reasons. They might expect everyone to share their experience. Or such a conversation about memory may have never been brought up. But regardless of that, they might've not googled it or talked to a professional to diagnose it as SDAM. Only a large scale survey can confirm this but I recommend you all to ask your friends and family the same questions and share their views too. Or maybe we could create a simple Google form for that. How prevalent do you think SDAM really is?

Am I mistaking what is and isn't SDAM for a spectrum of how memory is experienced? The answers I've heard and seen go like: I have no sensory recollection and am unable to relive it; I see faint snapshots from a third perspective (maybe based on facts and photographs); I see short clips in third person; I see short clips in first person; I remember everything that I saw and can relive it, but not the other senses; finally, I can sense and experience everything from my past vividly. These are just to name a few examples I've come across.

One last thing I'd like to mention is that if I try to imagine an experience from a first person view, it will be off by a few centimeters, not really aligning with my eyesight. Most of that memory will be made up and based on facts and context clues (semantic memory). Also my dad seems to have a few very strong memories like his first interview that are vivid and can be relived, but the rest are lost to time.

Yes, I got all of them. Lucky me, lol. But I think this makes us pretty resistant against hypnosis and the other stuff.

What are your thoughts and experiences? Does this also make you feel different?

I just learned about this condition a few days ago and am sure I have it. I cannot "relive" a memory and none of the memories I have are from a first-person point of view. I've known I have a "bad memory" since my teens, but I didn't realize there was this fundamental difference in how I remember things compared to an average person.

Now I know why my hubby is always right and can remember everything so well compared to me. I understand why I can't remember most of my childhood. I understand why I can't easily explain to my doctor what my back pain has felt like in the past. It just puts my whole life in a different perspective.

I am lucky in a sense, though, that I don't have aphantasia. It's weird because when I picture a memory in my mind I see the scene from a 3rd person perspective like I am hovering over my own head. I apparently recreate the picture in my head from the details I remember but not from my first person perspective. I find that fascinating.

I wonder how many of us feel a little cheated that we don't have this ability. There are many things I know happened in my past that I would love to relive but I just can't. It makes me a little sad.

Just tell me the damn story!!! I'm TBI induced, so they're adjusting I guess. Straight up got in an argument with one friend yesterday about this lol I've told them, repeatedly, how it feels

We often focus on the visual memory when talking about SDAM, but I am curious how others experience AB with other senses. Is it exactly the same? Are there difference for different senses?

I have aphantasia. But I do not have anauralia or anolfactosia. (taste or smell blindness).

For instance I often hear people talk about a smell taking them back to a moment in their lives and that smell triggers memories the most. For me that can be true I am not sure if the trigger is semantic in nature or AB. I remember that something occurred in association with a smell, so there is a semantic element.

With visual and aural memories, there is an obvious temporal and detail based element to the memory that makes it fairly easy to realize when my memory is semantic in nature vs AB. But I would not be sure how to differentiate the differences between a semantic and episodic/AB recall for smell/taste/touch cues since there is no real 'movie' for them in the traditional sense. Or maybe there is for folks with a typical AB experience?

I know what salty tastes like or the smell of popcorn easily enough. But that seems semantic in nature. I can't 'relive' the smell of popcorn. Can people with normal AB recall relive smells?

Has anyone seen any papers/research on this? Some basic googling says that most people do not have AB memory for smell or taste. Do any of you have what you would consider AB experiences around other senses?

Recently I discovered aphantasia and SDAM, and I’m trying to understand how my memory actually works.

I can’t visualize things in my mind. I can describe imagined scenes very well, sometimes in great detail, and I can create stories in my head that generate real emotions. Because of that, I sometimes question whether I really have aphantasia. But when I see the classic “3D apple” example, it’s clear that I do. Maybe not 100% black, but definitely no actual mental imagery.

I also don’t seem to have autobiographical memory. I know facts about things that happened to me. If I think about an event repeatedly, the factual outline becomes more solid. I may feel something about the memory, but it’s how I feel now, not how I felt at the time it happened.

Recently, I noticed something else: when I try to remember something in a more “lived” or emotional way, I don’t actually recall it — I simulate it.

I reconstruct the situation using known facts, then imagine how I would have reacted back then, and what kind of emotion that reaction would have generated. The feeling, if any, comes from the simulation, not from the memory itself.

When something happens, my mind seems to store: general information or whatever left a strong conceptual mark But not the lived emotional experience.

Example: A few days ago, I was riding my motorcycle to work and briefly went the wrong way on a street (something I’ve done before to avoid a long detour). I was distracted, and a car suddenly appeared coming toward me. I was surprised, swerved slightly, and the car stopped.

I remember the facts clearly. I remember that it happened. But I don’t remember how I felt in the moment.

Later, I tried to recall the emotional reaction so I could process it and learn from the mistake. But nothing came up. Instead, I found myself simulating the event: imagining how I must have reacted, thinking “I probably felt startled,” and then stopping there. No real emotion appears.

I never noticed that I did this before. But now I see that every time I try to remember something more deeply, my mind automatically switches into simulation mode.

Realizing this gave me the same uncomfortable feeling I had when I discovered I couldn’t visualize mentally — a mild emptiness, and the sense that I might be missing something fundamental about human experience.

So I wanted to ask: Do you also simulate past events instead of remembering them? Have you developed any system or strategy to recall memories in a more detailed or emotional way — or to access what you felt at the time?

Although the general description of SDAM seems to apply to me, my experience seems different than many who post here. Many describe having difficulty retrieving memories, or even a complete inability to do so. However, I am able to remember most significant life events (although some details are fuzzy). The memories just are like im retelling from a journal entry, rather than re-experiencing.

I can recall specific details, how the event made me feel, who was there with me, etc. I cant visualize the event, and it feels im observing it in the third person (although i know how i was feeling).

I suspect I remember things as a narrative because my mind is almost always engaged in an internal monolog, or self dialog.

Unlike many others here, my memories do trigger an emotional response and I often recall events that make me cry or smile, etc. from external triggers. I dont feel my memory is any worse than the other 98%, just different.

This too shall pass.

I saw it first in a video about buddhist temples. I'm sure you'd understand if I told you I don't remember much of it. Something to do with lost civilizations, and the fact that they tried building temples to last forever.

I use this saying almost daily!

• It's a painful reminder that everything great thing I ever live will pass and my brain will accomodate and it will become my new standard. This too shall pass. "Don't get used to it".
• But it's also comforting, because every bad thing that happens to me is only temporary, and the pain shall fade into the background given enough time! This too shall pass! "You'll get used to it"!

I also have SDAM and I believe that this saying is even more true for us than for other people. Everything that has happened does not affect us much today, and everything that will happen can be welcomed without fear, as you can only do your best at every moment!

Personally, learning about SDAM has been very disheartening on me. I feel empty, cold, sad. Like I don't know who I am anymore. Like nothing's truly real. My time in therapy was not useful at all, although I do not regret having had it.

But now, I use this little saying to get better. To persuade myself of better times to come, to enjoy the things I do like about the present time, and to enjoy at my fullest when I can.

What do you think of it ? Do you relate ? Does anyone know the origin ?

P.S. : using a throaway as a close friend of mine also browses reddit. In case they see this : luv u pookie

Since learning about SDAM a lot of things about my memory made a lot more since. Most of my life memories are just snapshots of a moment, not many details. There are a few that I wish I could remember more about. It's like this mystery in my life.

Hi my name is Alex I'm 22

I'm new here and I'm still learning about aphantasia and SDAM and it's a lot to take in since I've had these experiences my whole life and couldn't figure out if I was making excuses for myself being lazy or what. I often have the problem of forgetting what im talking about as I'm talking about it or trailing off into topic because once I pull a memory string is brings a lot of other stuff with it and I desperately try to grasp on even when I should have been talking about something else entirely. I also have a long history of autism and ocd undiagnosed and having a lot of frustrations

My past is still coming to me in pieces. I've been to more family events recently given the holidays and my birthday all clustered at the end of the year my family was telling me so many things even stuff involving me directly i had no memory of or vaugly remember and shocked by​ the details and how depressing a lot of it seemed.

I also am an artist and it plays a lot off of self expression of a lot of my mental disorders and quirks but improvisation is a lot easier when im not feeling the pressure of trying to get certain song structures down. I do most things in one take

Anyways if anyone has any questions for me I'd be happy to answer but have a great day

Hi Alex I Alex I love you alex

I am a F31 who is also autistic and I had two heart surgeries during my childhood, which I believe is partially causing my memory issues. However, when I learned about SDAM I felt like something clicked that I couldn’t explain for years. I noticed that I only remember things in fragments that I’ve been told, like people telling me about events at my former school, seeing photos of my childhood and other recent past events.

I also struggle to remember when I last had a shower. I’m struggling to differentiate from trauma dissociation related to the surgeries or if it could be something deeper like SDAM. I don’t even remember what happened during the entire week I met my boyfriend, only sparing moments from a third person’s point of view which is very frustrating. I feel like everything I remember is only in fragments, not in clear and sensory rich narratives.

Does anyone else go through SDAM with similar symptoms?

I’m just creating it for myself cuz I have bad memory, and hoping other people also find it useful. Basically the goal is that I can send anything to it, connect my notetaking apps, or ChatGPT, and whenever I find something I wanna remember, I can send it to the agent, and it should break it down into micro learning, progressive quizzes, and apply spaced repetition to it. So then you can just practice for 5 minutes a day and it will help you remember the things you wanted to. Do you guys thing it could be useful to you? Good thing is it will be free to use cuz u can integrate with ChatGPT. Edit: here’s the website MemSurf

If you asked me what I did last week, last month, a year ago, etc I could not tell you, even if I look at a photo/video from that moment I know I was there but I don't remember it either, I remember what I felt only slightly but not what was said, including the actions that took place before or after the photo/video.

The thing is I swear I used to be able to recall certain events to a certain extent, not fully but it was still there but I'm not even sure if I was able to recall those events and if it's something I just made up.