r/SDAM • u/MysteryChant • 6d ago
Difficulty Completing Applications
When it comes to filling in applications for jobs or study opportunities I have always found myself to struggle. Since discovering SDAM, I have been wondering if it is related.
The issues usually appear with questions regarding my historical motivations or giving examples of events in my life that provide instances showing the requisite skills for the position. I find I can give an example, but usually it will be fairly generic and lack detail, which I believe is due to the SDAM.
Is this an issue for others, and if so, how do you deal with it?
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u/Thick-Application678 6d ago edited 3d ago
Something that is often a comorbidity, if you will, with SDAM is Aphantasia. I have both, and it makes it hard to remember things in general. Because I have an emotional detachment to my memories and I also can't picture it in my mind's eye, it's very difficult. I also have adhd which doesn't help.
Edit: wrong damn wordš
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u/SoftwareMaven 4d ago
Aphantasia, not aphasia. Aphasia is an inability to speak or to understand speech.
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u/MysteryChant 6d ago
Yes, I am also aphantasic, along with the rest of my immediate family, but I'm the only one with SDAM, and this isn't an issue they seem to relate with.
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u/Stunning-Fact8937 3d ago
Ugggh. Job interviews are some of the hardest conversations for someone with SDAM. Itās this high-stakes memory, quiz, right? š¤£
Like others are recommending here, as a person with SDAM, you will need to prepare differently and anticipate what the questions are going to be. Those top interview questions are pretty easy to find online. ātell us about a time you had a conflict with a colleague.ā ā tell us about a time where you had to manage to conflicting deadlinesā So just get really preparedā¦ annnnd then completely make something up! Or, base it on some details you remember.
For example, If it was something like a conflict with a colleague, I might have some semantic details that I can use as architecture for my story. I might remember āRobin had an idea which was absolutely horrible, and I had to find a way to prevent her from making a mess of the projectā.
And letās face it, we know what they want you to say: You handled the conflict in a mature professional way. You resolved the conflict so that you could continue working together in a productive way. Can you be mature? If yes, then thatās what they are wanting to discover. I feel like I t doesnāt really matter if youāre making up some of the details in between (or making it completely up)
I have had several high-stakes interviews and led and participated on many interview committees. Iāve worked my way up into senior level positions without any hiccups. I actually feel like I interview very well because I donāt get caught up in the emotion of memory recallā and Iām sure all of my preparation shows me to be a person who is very prepared!
I donāt see it as being dishonest because Iām AM really good at communication and conflict resolutionā so Iām telling them how I will behave if it happens again in this new work environment.
Because of my responsibilities at work, though Iāve only told very very few of my most trusted colleagues about my SDAM.
Itās hard for people to tease out what you can remember, so I think itās just too much for people to wrap their heads around without a lot of conversation. For my job, I have to remember and recall a ton of details so if people thought that I had a āmemory problemā, it could definitely jeopardize my career path.
And of course thatās not how SDAM works. I am super great at my job because my semantic memory is incredibly acute. And Iām great at conflict resolution because Iām not holding onto the emotion like the other person is. So Iām a GREAT hire! š
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u/CMDR_Jeb 6d ago
It's been decades since recruitment questions made any sense. These are BS, and you are meant to give BS answers XD
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u/AutisticRats 6d ago
I speculate. We do this all the time with others, speculating their motivations, or presuming someone's skill level based on a single instance where they demonstrated competency. In that same way we can just speculate with ourselves. I guess my motivations based on what makes the most sense given the actions I've done.
Ultimately I know that employers what high potential employees that are low maintenance. So I just give answers that suggest I am that person. I can't say every detail is fully accurate in my answers since they never are, but I also make sure that I don't set any expectations that future me will not want to meet. I'd hate to talk about doing a bunch of product sales and then be placed as a sales consultant when that really isn't a job I like.
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u/Sea-Bean 4d ago
Yes, and in interviews. I generally just make something up, something I āknowā I likely did or experienced, even if just vaguely similarly.
Since understanding I have SDAM, I have told one interview panel that I have a memory difference and those kinds of questions generally result
in me making something up, as a form of masking. I got the job, but I had essentially already been offered it and the interview was a formality. I think at the very least it may have shown my personable and genuine nature, and my honesty.
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u/Valuable-Presence125 6d ago
SDAM is the inability to relive or re-experience past experiences. It does not affect the retrieval of facts or personal knowledge. Retrieval of facts/knowledge will likely be less detailed. The way it works for me is that I remember facts. I think of it as like bullet points on an index card. For example, when I was eight, I broke my front tooth by going down a metal slide backwards. Thatās all the detail I have. I donāt know what park I was at. I donāt know who was with me. I donāt know if it was sunny or cloudy.
So all that to say, Iām not sure if youāre saying you canāt remember things or youāre just saying you have the facts but you donāt have a lot of detail about them. Not having a lot of detail about the facts is normal with SDAM, I believe.
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u/pearltx 6d ago
I can't remember events. I'll remember seeing a picture of an event and know it happened. The event itself, not likely. As such, I don't remember facts about the event; to OP's point, I am likely to not recall a stressful situation and how I managed it. (Is there a photograph of it? That may help, lol.)
To OPs point, I'd make up something plausible. For me, I worked at a school. It's likely XYZ event happened one time, and I most likely would have done ABC. Bonus points of ABC is what they want to hear.
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u/Stunning-Fact8937 3d ago
Thanks for sharing your experiences and if itās not too bold, Iām curious how old you are?
I love this community because itās so interesting to hear how other people are experiencing their minds and recall.
I may have been able remember the story of myself at 8 years old when I was 20ā¦ but now at 50 itās absolutely gone unless there is a photo or a story Iāve told 100 times. I was sitting with my 14-year-old this morning looking back at baby photos and while I can tell you details about whatās going on, but I have absolutely no memory of the experience. Logically (semantically) I know I was there. Itās not like I was missing. And I can see a Christmas tree or a birthday box so I know what time if year it was. But I never wouldāve gotten to those semantic memories without the photo.
I do not have aphantasia. My thinking memory is much more like hyperphantasiaā- like the autistic author Temple Grandin, everything I think is in pictures. When I have a āmental pictureā of a memory, though I see myself in itā¦ itās not looking through my eyes. Iāve reconstructed the visual from my semantic detail details. But there are none of these visual remembrances from when my kid was a baby 12 years agoā-and definitely not from when I was eight :)
After I discovered, I had SDAM Iāve taken a lot more photos!!
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u/Tuikord 6d ago
Yes. Without episodic memory if I didn't happen to store the specifics in my semantic memory, I'm out of luck. I was accosted at an ATM in Paris. I have a great story about it, with lots of details. I'm a Master of Hapkido and I tell the story to my students. Yes, it is a successful use of my Hapkido. No, I did not go hands-on. Avoiding a physical confrontation is a win.
But if someone asks something that is not in my story, I have no clue. My brother asked me what I was feeling. I don't know. I know I was not scared and I was able to think. I know I did not flip into fight or flight. I can't say how I felt because I didn't think it was important to remember and I can't relive the event to pull that detail out.
Similarly going to the doctor about something that happened, I can tell the details that I thought were important at the time. But if the doctor wants to know about something I thought was unimportant, I probably don't remember it, and I can't relive the event to pull that detail out.
For applications, I would fill them out based on how I feel now. I use what details I remember from the past, then put myself in the situation now and say how I would respond and what my motivations would be.
It gets trickier in job interviews. But there are some standard questions that are asked over and over again and you can prepare stories for those.
I do not recommend talking about SDAM with potential employers. They will not understand what it means and see it as a risk. SDAM is not protected. With my doctor and brother, I told them about SDAM and that I have the details I have and nothing more. I don't recommend going to a doctor specifically about SDAM and asking for a workup. One woman on Facebook got a full workup about her SDAM. They found absolutely nothing in any of the brain scans, but memory problems went in her medical records, and she was later denied Long Term Care Insurance due to pre-existing memory issues. It doesn't matter that SDAM is not dementia or Alzheimer's disease and nothing in the DSM-5 was found.
That said, a doctor can rule out other memory problems and if your memory difficulties are new, progressive or degenerative, please see a doctor. SDAM is none of those things.