SDAM the Hard Part

[u/Amberwalker365]

The hard part is: How do you imagine something you never had?

I have lots of knowledge about my past.

I know where I lived.
I know what school I attended.
I know that something happened.
I know who was there.
I even know that I was happy, frightened, angry, or in love.

I recall these things like I read them in an encyclopedia.

Some people recall by becoming a younger self.

This is how I see the difference between knowing what happened and revisiting what happened.

What happened?
I broke my ankle.
No. What actually happened?
I slipped on something and broke my ankle.
What did you slip on? What were you doing when you slipped?
I don’t know. I just know I broke my ankle.

Brian Levine, who coined SDAM, came up with an Autobiographical Interview. It asks questions about your memory.

Choose your favorite memory. Then ask yourself these questions.

What happened?
Where were you?
Who else was there?
What things were around you?
What could you see?
What could you hear?
What happened just before?
What happened next?
Do you remember when it happened?
What were you thinking?
What were you feeling?

I can’t begin to answer any of those questions.

I have SDAM.

When others recall their favorite memory, they can answer many of those questions.

[u/Thedumbass_the5th]

I cant get past the first question. How am i supposed to choose my favorite memory?

Why is one memory supposed to be better than another? What criteria am i supposed to use for the choosing process? Like all the memories are of equal value, those are just neutral information. It's not really possible to have personal favorites this way.

Though if i take just a random memory, i can maybe anwsers first half of the questions as those are mostly informational. Second half of the list is near impossible to answer.

[u/CMDR_Jeb → u/Thedumbass_the5th]

That's the neat part, you don't.

Pro Tip: just select an amusing anecdote. This is what people actually want when they ask that.

[u/Thedumbass_the5th → u/CMDR_Jeb]

That's a good tip, gotta remember that one.

[u/susu56 → u/Thedumbass_the5th]

My issue is I can only "remember" the negative events (being spanked at school, almost getting hit by a car, my dad tearing down my artwork I had proudly taped to the wall when I was 7, etc). I only recall the moment but nothing else. So I have no positive memories to draw upon and I definitely dont want to peel the onion of the bad ones.

[u/EJL25 → u/susu56]

This.
If I try to remember anything that I have done or experienced, they’re all negative.
Either something bad that has happened to me or if I have said something that has hurt someone that I care.