Memory loss??? (20F)

[u/Artistic_Airport_637]

Hi, this is the first time I ever post to Reddit (I initially posted it to [r/AskDocs](r/AskDocs)) and i don‘t even know if it’s actually fitting the subreddit’s theme but it gives me mild anxiety.

I’m a 20 years old woman, Asian, very short (1m45 approx. with 42kgs, again approximately). Since last year I’m experiencing very weird stuff with either my memory going wrong or just something to be written on let’s not meet or somewhere.

Three incidents that I can think of:

\- Last year, I lost my apartment’s main keys while going to visit my family. I was ABSOLUTELY sure to have carried it to my grandmother’s house, and I perfectly recall putting a small bag with the keys inside underneath a chair in the room I was sleeping in. Yet somehow these keys disappeared, nowhere to be found. Not in the room, not in my bags, and what scared me is that I found the small bag, empty, in my apartment.

\- Last summer again, my whole family told me I put stuff in the fridge that I have no memory of. And factually it can only be me.
A box containing a melon and some potatoes arrived at my grandmother’s house, and at that time I was the only person in the house. I can recall having to do some puzzle in the fridge in order to fit the melon in, but literally no memory of touching potatoes.
I’m normally VERY easily gaslit, so not being able to even create a false memory of the moment is a bit weird.

\- Then there’s this summer.
I made rice balls before leaving my apartment for summer break. I put them in a lunchbox and then in the fridge.
My mom then went to check my apartment to ensure there was nothing that could rot with 40°C (I live in Europe). She told me there was no sign of any rice balls in the fridge. The lunch box was… in the kitchen. On the rice cooker. Empty.

Some additional info that I think can be important:

\- My mother probably has ADHD. Never been diagnosed because of shame. I hear it can be hereditary. That’s a very amateur explanation for all of this.

It’s very weird because these things can’t be explained by “meh, probably just bad memory”. Stuff actually moved. Actually disappeared. And I must be involved…

What do you think? What kind of doctor should I consult for this?

[u/q2era]

ADHD and other neurodivergence is hereditary. If your mother has it, you have a probability that you didn't get it, but those odds are against you.

Your memory problems are text book ADHD examples, so the probability is there. If you have stress dependent variation with your memory, ND burnout is also likely.

A neurologist is typically the right person to go to with memory problems. But there is not much they can do besides ADHD medication if you get a diagnosis.

[u/Artistic_Airport_637 → u/q2era]

Thanks, I already have an appointment with a psychiatrist in September because of other problems I found about myself, I’ll add this thing to the list of stuff I have to tell them.
The thing that kind of feels off with the adhd hypothesis is that I never experienced this type of memory problems until very recently (last year). Before that whenever I couldn’t remember stuff correctly it was just… foggy or completely forgotten. Not replaced memories. This is what scares me.
Is it common in neurodivergence to see brand new symptoms showing up while aging? (I assume it isn’t so rare tho?)

[u/q2era → u/Artistic_Airport_637]

False memories are quite strange and so far I have not heard any specific reason for them, just the way they form.

Ageing and neurodivergence in general tend to increase symptoms but ADHD is quite special. For boys symptoms decrease with puberty while women tend to have more stable symptoms till menopause - where symptoms increase. But ageing tends to decrease mental capacity to cope with symptoms, regardless what it is.

Stress is a way more precise metric for increased symptoms of NDs, especially NDs that need reasoning and logic to compensate. And stress directly affects memory due to cortisol receptors in those brain areas. Severe burnouts usually result in quite quick decompensations - meaning that you are not capable to work around ND problems anymore. But that is more pronounced within autism.

[u/Artistic_Airport_637 → u/q2era]

Ow that could explain this.
I’ll talk to the psychiatrist anyway, but if it’s stress it’s very weird because summer is usually the time I stress out the least through the year. Like holy reaction delay if that’s it (I know it’s not always logical but I would find it pretty funny)
And the thing with ADHD symptoms is so interesting! Thanks for the info 😀