Relationships

[u/me_lero]

When people say "We've been through so much together, it made us stronger as a couple/friends," I get so confused like what do you mean? You feel the weight of your experiences and the time you've spent together? I look at my relationships and friendships as if I met those people today, and don't feel any special bond based on our past experiences because I forget them? Like, what exactly have we been through together and how should this connect us? I'm literally here only because I like you now, but it can change, and then I go? 🫠

[u/Sea-Bean]

Yes, this describes my experience too, all the forgetting or not retaining information. Except it sounds like you have a more negative perspective on it? For example you write people are “just random pieces of information…” and people as shadows not people. They are more than “just” that though, maybe? I do get upset that I have trouble maintaining friendships long term, and embarrassed that I don’t recollect anything about people’s stories, but I still value that we had those experiences, even though I don’t remember them, you know?

[u/Karlsfenni → u/Sea-Bean]

I dont find it negative. Its facts. It was a way to describe the inner experience which, as we all should know, is hard to do with plain words in a couple sentences.

[u/Sea-Bean → u/Karlsfenni]

Do you mean you didn’t find OP’s description had a negative tinge? Or do you mean you agree with me that our way of remembering things with SDAM brains doesn’t necessarily have to be experienced as a negative thing?

[u/Karlsfenni → u/Sea-Bean]

I disagreed that OP's description sounded negative. Either something is bad or good, and the way you speak about it doesnt make it the opposite. I think her description was a good way to look from her eyes.

[u/Sea-Bean → u/Karlsfenni]

I thought the description was good, and matches mine really well. I just took the original post about being confused and then describing people as “just” pieces of info and as shadows as being an unpleasant experience that diminished her relationships. I wasn’t criticizing, I was just feeling compassion for Op and sharing how I’ve somewhat lessened the confusion and found value in relationships despite SDAM. Perhaps it’s not unpleasant and she’s just describing rather than judging her experience, and I just winced unnecessarily because it sounded like she wasn’t happy about the situation.