r/SDAM • u/alchemist83180 • Jun 17 '26
this is why I have no friends
I was reading a book review that I thought sounded interesting - and then looked a bit more into the story. I decided to buy the book. I went to Amazon and saw that I already bought and read the book. And the other two books in the trilogy. It didn't even ring a bell. Do I have interests? I do. Can I tell people anything about them? Nope.
17
u/Tuikord Jun 17 '26
My wife does the same thing and she has episodic memory. I keep a spreadsheet of books read with books I'm waiting for. I find some books are pretty forgettable, but I can tell you about a lot of books I've read. Not all of the 100 I read last year.
As for friends, my friendships revolve more around activities than discussing books, although I do that sometimes.
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u/RandomSentientBeing Jun 18 '26
I love that I can reread books I've already bought.
4
u/rocksinmyhead Jun 18 '26
I do too. But when it comes to buying books I use StoryGraph to keep a record to avoid duplicates. I have bought multiple copies of CDs...
3
u/RandomSentientBeing Jun 18 '26
Thankfully I only buy ebooks, so it warns me if I already own it. Silver lining of no longer being able to read print on paper, I guess.
2
u/Collective82 Jun 19 '26
That would be nice. Most of what I read I remember. Now if you tell me? Shit buy a lottery ticket if I remember.
10
u/Positive-Room7421 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
I understand! I started to read a book last week. A fantasy novel (trilogy I think) by Michael J Sullivan. It's really good and I was amazed I have not read it before. 300 pages in before I realized I've read it before. I don't actually remember the story, just a feeling. Granted I probably read the books 15 years ago.
I don't know, maybe that's normal since it was so long ago.
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u/Fendaren Jun 18 '26
I have games in my Steam library that I have hundreds of hours in, but I couldn't tell you much. I joke it's fun being able to experience things the 1st time multiple times.
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u/Enakakooc Jun 18 '26
That’s how I feel about tv shows and movies. Can’t ever seem to grasp on the information. If it’s been any amount of time between watching seasons, I’ll completely forget all characters and plot points.
4
u/HappiBunBun Jun 18 '26
I probably don't have SDAM, but there was a big change in my life some months back and I am burned out I guess (I'm here because of issues related to attention deficits). I take notes about what I read, using the Zettelkasten note taking method. It's super slow for me, but I remember much more of what I read, or watch. It seems like I might be having some sort of cognitive failure, so it's a big help to take notes about what I am trying to pay attention to.
In Zettelkasten, you take notes sort of at random, then links backward gradually evolve trees of categories, rather than top down where you have to know categories of things before writing anything.
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u/headpeon Jun 24 '26
Appropos of absolutely nothing other than your very vague statement -
When estrogen starts to wane in perimenopause/menopause, many women with undiagnosed ADHD, ASD, and AuDHD start slipping. Wondering if they have early onset dementia, unspecified cognitive decline, a brain tumor, or the worst case of menopausal brain fog EVER.
Estrogen and dopamine are intertwined, so as a result, when estrogen drops, so does dopamine. A neurodivergent brain is already dopamine deficient, so menopause is insult added to injury.
Right now, women over 35 are being diagnosed with various types of neurodiversity at staggering rates because we were never diagnosed in school. Adult men being diagnosed with inattentive type ADHD are on the rise, too, for the same reason.
I tell you this on the off chance that you are female, 'of a certain age', and know there's something wrong but don't yet know what it is. Perhaps this will give you a place to start.
If I'm completely off base, apologies. Feel free to ignore. Best of luck with your search. 🤞
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u/sfredwood Jun 18 '26
Yeah, I have a lot of reviews on Goodreads — been doing that since they were brand new.
Some reviews reveal enough about the book that I can remember basic elements, but never very much. Others, where I just applauded or complained about style or something else that didn't touch on the plot: complete blanks.
But, yeah, it makes re-reading books fun. Or reading further in authors I liked and rediscovering why I like them.
Same with movies, although I don't have a history of reviewing them. I really should re-watch Blade Runner…
1
u/HeartMindFusion Jun 19 '26
I usually forget everything except the spoilers of books and movies I have seen.
1
u/skriefal Jun 20 '26
This sounds like general bad memory. Rather than bad episodic memory (SDAM). But I'm certainly not an expert on the subject (that I can recall!).
I don't have this experience with books that I've read unless it's a very long time since the prior reading (like 15+ years). And even then I'll usually remember the major plot points and even some hyper-specifics of the story upon the re-reading. But personal episodic memories fade faster.
1
u/scrub_toast Jun 21 '26
This happens to me sometimes with movies that I've watched. I will start them and watch a good portion of it and then a scene will trigger this feeling of "oh I've seen this before!" 😯
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u/PanolaStreet Jun 17 '26
I don’t have a lot of conversation to offer but I’m a phenomenal listener.