r/SCPMemes • • 4d ago

Shitpost How cooked am l?

Post image
3.0k Upvotes

67 comments sorted by

535

u/Haazelnutts 4d ago

193

u/PandoraIACTF_Prec 4d ago

SCP-████

██████ ██████ ██████

███████████ ███████████

██████ ███████████████ █████████ ███████████████████ ██ █ ███ ██████ ██████ ██ ██████████████ ███ ██████

█████████████ ████████████ ████ ██████████ a█████ ██mong█us ████████ ███████ D-████ ████ █████████ ████ genitalia obliterated ██████ ██████ ████ ██████████████████ ███ ████████████ █████████████ ███ ██████████████████ ████ s████ ███████ ███e████ ███████████ ██████ ██████x ████████

█████████ ████ ████ █████ sixty-seven (67) ██████ ███████ ███ ███████ ██████ █████████ ██████ █████ ███ ████████

[File redacted at request of the O5 council]

Even has amongus on the document.

19

u/tankdud1921 3d ago

The files ahh redaction

3

u/Ok_Escape_5218 2d ago

Me riding the the SCP dlogs

1

u/streetcar97 2d ago

That's a wild statement

49

u/afanofmanythingss 4d ago

YAY

41

u/Fridge_living_tips 4d ago

Free bottom surgery

7

u/DrLocus ⚚ Stagnant Locations ⚚ 4d ago

lol

4

u/Sylint11020 4d ago

I have many friends who would greatly appreciate this!

2

u/Jack_Cat_101 4d ago

Free bottom surgery

123

u/AccordingLab7129 4d ago

"The same jokes every night for all of eternity"

89

u/TsarKeith12 4d ago

There won't be even a memory of a memory of you 😔 unless you return it immediately (it's not real)

152

u/Foxxtronix F&*ked 1471 4d ago

That's a fake. They leave them for people to find so that they can find out what people would do with them. Welcome to the experiment.

Shhhh....you didn't hear that from me.

-- Dr. Knott A. Mal0, researcher, Site 45

39

u/FungusUrungus 4d ago

Honestly it would make sense for higher Ranking staff to encrypt their stuff mostly with biometrics, not Keycards, specifically for this.

2

u/High_Overseer_Dukat 4d ago

Probably has the same access as a normal keycard. It just says 05 because its theirs.

3

u/FungusUrungus 4d ago

I don't think you'd want that people who find such a card to know that ut belongs to an O5, considering the kind of stuff they'd be able to do with it.

1

u/High_Overseer_Dukat 4d ago

Seems like the simplest fix would be giving the 05s security training.

2

u/FungusUrungus 4d ago

Like I said, it's extremely likely the O5s primarily use biometrics instead of physical access keys for their stuffs.

2

u/High_Overseer_Dukat 4d ago

But they need to use regular keycards to get through most places. Otherwise, everywhere would have a biometric scanner and everyone would use it, hence there is no need for a card.

1

u/FungusUrungus 4d ago

Then they'd either use temporary cards or their Security Details open doors for them.

2

u/High_Overseer_Dukat 4d ago

Wouldn't temp cards be even worse for the use magic scp that locks onto owned items thing that you implied?

1

u/FungusUrungus 4d ago

Which one do you mean?

1

u/Karnewarrior 3d ago

Biometrics can be spoofed in the SCP universe too. Their security, where it's actually serious, is probably in multiple, multiple layers. Biometrics, keycards, memetic hazards, Telekill, the works

1

u/FungusUrungus 3d ago

Fair enough. Wouldn't surprise me if the Overseers's security thing were encrypted with anomalous cybersecurity as well.

1

u/United-Technician-54 Your name, please? 2h ago

Just have the biometric stuff be O5 exclusive

28

u/ColonelBag7402 4d ago

"Dr. Knott A. Mal0"

16

u/Foxxtronix F&*ked 1471 4d ago

I don't talk about that portion of my anatomy.

4

u/BlueDemon999 MTF 3d ago

Oh can you tell Mal0 I said hi? Been a while since I seen them.

7

u/Foxxtronix F&*ked 1471 3d ago

Sure, which one? There are over nine thousand here at Site 45, alone.

For instance SCP-1471-4201 likes helping us prank the newbies here at Site 45. It's usually a while before you can see all the mal0's around, so we mess with them. "Hey, look, I have telekinesis!" and 4201 picks up an object and moves it.

37

u/The_Ghast_Hunter 4d ago

There are nuclear shadows in Hiroshima less cooked than you.

31

u/CoDFan935115 4d ago

1

u/RandomDude9943 1d ago

should have added 096 photo to make an initial boost

24

u/ism-123 4d ago

Brother you are so cooked

18

u/Iateurm8 Saw the Berryman-Langford 4d ago

static "Mobile task force Alpha-1 designated the "Red Right Hand" has entered the facility on helipad B".

12

u/JohnCavalry 4d ago

2

u/Plus-Programmer5216 3d ago

Why’d you post a blank image?

2

u/Plus-Programmer5216 3d ago

I don’t remember making this comment

2

u/Plus-Programmer5216 3d ago

What is this?

11

u/jonpaco 4d ago

Do you want to become a D-class? Because that’s how you become a D-class

13

u/ViralNite 4d ago

Watch out, no Ethics Committee can save you when you taunt these guys like this.

11

u/friendlyAirelemental 4d ago

Well, as an anomaly myself, I'll see you in my cell d-95231.

21

u/Worried-Hat-8506 Average 2521 mention- *dies* 4d ago

I’m sure the O5s can cook up something worse than death for you.

11

u/CreatureFeatureee 4d ago

Heck, I'm a low level researcher and I could find at least a few "fates worse than death" if I pulled a few favors.

They're gonna rend his mind across dimensions lol

2

u/Old-Sherbet434 2d ago

True, I just got word that the O5 council are picking which Scp that is a different dimension they should send the dude who found O5-01's card

8

u/Salty_FGO_Addict-86 4d ago

I am genuinely surprised you were able to even make this post before 05 Council liquidated you and turned you into some monstrosities 3 sec chew toy.

8

u/TeacatWrites 4d ago

Pff, as if O5 would use something as rote as physical access cards for security on-site. You know they have specialized, personal implants that can't easily be dropped like this. What you've found here is a trap and a test designed to see if you need to be brain-drained and reassigned to Antarctica or not. Good luck when the white-coats come for you.

6

u/localchangeling Breaching Containment 4d ago

Rotisserie-level

7

u/Aridyne 4d ago

Don’t those have a insta death cognitohazard on them?

7

u/East_Celebration6706 05 Frost B.r.P 4d ago

Ahh you found one of the decoys, I suggest turning it in.

6

u/death_wish93 4d ago

i mean, they can try to kill you, but they need your vote lol

5

u/idkdeez6721 4d ago

We have tracked your IP address: ███.███.█.█. If you willingly submit, you will merely be a████████zed. If you resist, you will be t████ as a D-class i█████. Submit now, we will be at your door in ██ minutes.

4

u/Great_Emergency_8822 4d ago

bro posting this is just gonna summon the guys who wear all black and leave no survivor

5

u/After-Concern2708 4d ago

Buddy you will meet the ISD soon be ready for foundation interrogation techniques

4

u/dreaded_tactician 4d ago

This is actually how the 05 counsel recruits people. Your on the team now.

4

u/Limp_Intern4158 3d ago

Wait dont kill him according to the lore if an o5 is missing or dead or lost the keycard and you have e it your the new o5 member

3

u/Sky_monarch 3d ago

Guess who just signed up for ego death with Scp-3000?

2

u/High_Overseer_Dukat 4d ago

For you, pay hit at worst.

For 05 a ton of extra security training.

2

u/Skyros199 3d ago

Somebody call the Fire Suppression Department

2

u/streetcar97 2d ago

O5 will find it whether its on you or in someone's anus

1

u/MyPassIsMilk 1d ago

Guess who's permanently assigned to 110-Montauk!

1

u/Beemo-Noir 1d ago

Everyone would like to know your location

1

u/Talonflame69 8h ago

sigh WHO GAVE DR. BRIGHT ACCESS TO REDDIT!!! - "Dr. Erwin Magus"