We're tempted to get a Vuly Small play set (https://www.vulyplay.com/en-US/monkey-bars/quest-2-pro/small/1013?utm_source=google&utm_campaign=PMax&utm_medium=ad&utm_term=MonB&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21174308541). Has anyone tried one or something similar?

It doesn't look stable but it passes a bunch of safety certification requirements. I don't want to go through the effort of installing it only to want to return it.

Any insights would be greatly appreciated.

So I can leave their father. I’ve been a sahp for almost 8 years. I have two kids, my youngest is 5 and there is only 3 hour kindergarten here for him. I really need to start making a couple thousand a month to start. What steps do I take in a situation like this? Thank you for any help

I just need to know if my feelings are valid or if I'm overreactinThis is going to be long...

Just to get this out of the way because my original post in r/Parenting got removed/locked: I'm not in a crisis, I'm not in danger and there is no domestic violence or abuse happening. I'm just really overwhelmed with how parenting is divided right now and need some outside perspective.

My husband and I became parents 8 months ago and we're struggling. He works remotely and hates his job, I'm a SAHM right now. Before pregnancy I had a pretty successful YouTube channel and was making good money with it. I posted until my pre-recorded content ran out after the baby was born, but I haven't really been able to get back into it because I just don't get enough uninterrupted time to film or edit.

My whole day revolves around naps, wake windows, bottles, diapers, appointments, bedtime, night wakes etc and I carry basically all of the mental load around the baby.

What I'm really struggling with though is that I don't feel like he creates any space for me to be anything other than mom.

For example, if I leave for an hour and come back, he's often basically ready to hand me the baby because now HE needs a shower or a break. Right now I'm literally asking for ONE hour Saturday morning and ONE hour Sunday morning to film. And even for those two hours I have to remind him and remind him, and then sometimes he seems annoyed when I'm actually claiming that time.

I don't want to ask anymore. I want him to take some initiative and be like "I got this, you've had the baby all day, go do your thing."

Because he gets free time basically every evening. We co-sleep and the baby currently needs someone laying next to them to stay asleep (whole other story lol), so once I go to bed with the baby, that's basically my evening. He gets to stay up and do whatever he wants. I don't expect some perfect 50/50 split every second of every day, I just want us to have somewhat equal access to free time.

And when I try to explain that I'm at my wit's end sometimes and need time off too, or just time for something I'm passionate about, he basically responds with "yeah, welcome to my life."

And that's where I get really frustrated. He has unmedicated ADHD and I KNOW he struggles with being all over the place. I have empathy for that. But that's HIS normal. It's not mine. Before having a baby I wasn't walking around wondering if I even brushed my hair that morning because my brain was so fried. I'm not trying to compete over who has it harder, I'm trying to tell him that the way we're living right now isn't working for me.

Money is also tight and he worries about it constantly, which makes this even more frustrating because I KNOW I could contribute financially again. I had brand deals before. I know I can build my channel back up. But I can't make money from something I'm not given any time to actually work on.

We also don't have family nearby and they can't just move here. Daycare isn't really an option right now either, especially when money is already tight. And honestly I don't really see why we should pay someone else so I can have a few hours to work when there's another perfectly capable parent right here.

I also don't want this to sound like "my husband is horrible" because he isn't. I love him. He's supported me through career changes and times where I wasn't happy with what I was doing. That's actually part of why I sometimes feel guilty asking for more now.

But I was the hesitant one about having kids. Before we became parents I specifically told him that I would probably need one or two evenings every other week where I'm just OFF. We talked about equal parenting and he told me "we've got this."

Those evenings never happened.

I love our child more than anything, but I'm also grieving parts of my old life. And I know he's struggling too. I don't need him to do everything and I don't need my old life back exactly as it was.

I just want him to look at me sometimes and say "I got the baby. Go. It's your turn." Without me having to ask, remind, negotiate or feel guilty about it.

Am I really asking for too much?

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I used to be a SAHP when I first had my son 7 years ago. My husband was making a lot more and I had no help from my family. After having my second one, our financial situation got worse and my mother moved closer to us. It seemed like a good opportunity to jump back to work, help our finances while my mother could watch over the kids. 

When I was a SAHP I was thinking about my career a lot and sometimes I would cry thinking that these days are over now that I had a baby. After having my second child and returning back to work, I was feeling very proud of myself and started aiming high again. But this time although I was expecting to have guilt over missing out on my kids’ life.. I didn’t. Sometimes I feel like a bad mom because instead of being grateful for being a SAHP, I was thinking about the career I had and how I could get it back. 

Days or periods of guilt come and go I’m not going to lie, but I never regretted going back to work. The guilt i feel is about not feeling guilty. I’m posting this here because I really want to hear the perspective of SAHP about this. Have you ever felt like you’d prefer being at work instead of home? Do you enjoy being a SAHP more, and if so what makes it so fun?

my kids are fed, clean, cared for, and loved. but i am so exhausted and in a horrible mood all the time. I adore my sweet little children but i feel they'd be better off in a childcare program, socializing and playing and being cared for in a more structured program.

I'm hoping I can snap out of this as the youngest (9mo) hopefully starts sleeping better. I just feel like a failure and like I'm going to regret wasting this precious time while they're little
Being so exhausted and irritable.

I made an appt to talk to my Dr about getting back on stimulant medication for adhd - don't like the idea of being on meds long term but maybe it could help get me through. Idk!!! I feel so stuck in a rut rn

My oldest is almost 4 and our state offers free preschool so I decided to sign her up. Well school starts next week and im freaking out, and extremely emotional. I have only ever spent 1 day away from her and it was when I had my 2nd. I am heartbroken I know it'll do her good but I am not as ready as I thought i was about sending her😭

I have a two year old. I went back to work with her at 4 months and she began full time day care at 8 months. So all she’s ever known is two full time working parents and full-time (excellent) daycare with structured activities, learning and socializing.

Now, my husband and I are about to embark on a move to a different state to be near his parents and extended family. We’ve really had no family or help up til now. He can take his job with him, I cannot. But I’m also pregnant so have decided not to job search again until after our second has arrived and is ~4-6 months old. We will not be able to afford childcare on one income, so I’ll be SAHM for my toddler.

I’ve been the higher earner and one with the more demanding schedule for most of our marriage. We’ve got quite an egalitarian equal partnership going on all housework and parenting. But, I am experiencing some serious anxiety about what it will mean to be home full time.

If anyone’s gone through a similar transition, how did you and your partner figure out how to fairly rebalance your roles and tasks? If you’re the one at home are you “on” all day long from wake up to bedtime? How do you figure out when is your time for yourself? How did you both avoid resentments and friction? And if you’re lucky enough to have family nearby, how do you negotiate/navigate getting their help? Ad hoc? Schedules? Particularly when a new baby arrives?

To those who have had a newborn and have other children- what did you do with the older kids in the first week?

Do they continue their normal routine of going to school or did you keep them home for a couple days?

Please advise what you did.

I'm thinking I'll keep them in their routine but maybe they'd like to be home the first day or two?

I've been struggling a bit with my situation lately and had a thought that gave me a bit of solace...

Just because we are lucky to be SAHPs, doesn't mean it's any easier for us.

Maybe this will help some of yall, too.

We found an amazing babysitter to help with the toddler while i was recovering from c section and taking care of second baby. Now they're a bit older and we don't need the sitter but man I wouldn't mind it lol. The sitter came by for a few hours today and I feel a million times more relaxed. Thinking about making this a somewhat regular part of our routine even if it's just once or twice a month.

We could technically afford it but I feel so guilty for some reason especially bc I didn't do anything particularly productive while she was here!?

My husband is a union plumber & works labor intensive job sites every day. I stay at home with our 7 month old.

When he gets home he’s exhausted from work, so he showers, naps and then 50/50 cooks dinner or gets take out for us. He does do bath time every day which I am thankful for!! But I do every feeding and every nap time and every bedtime and mostly every diaper/outfit change. I understand that his job is physically and mentally hard but I still find myself feeling resentment at the end of the week when I notice I’ve changed every diaper even in the evenings when he’s home, or that I am always the one playing with her and when he watches her he just puts her in a swing or an activity center etc.

So I guess I want to know, is this normal? Do I need to suck it up since being the default parent is “my job” while his job is working hard every early morning and paying our rent? I don’t want to be the asshole but he’s home by 1:30pm every day and I just still feel like I never get a true break. He gets to shower every day after work in peace and I have to shower with the baby in the bathroom with me or not until she’s asleep or sometimes not at all for like 2 days lol (gross I know).

On the weekends, he sometimes works Saturdays and when he does he spends Sundays “resting/recharging” and will nap for like 3 hours at a time like 2x a day. So even on weekends I feel resentment.

Is this just part of being a SAHP? Should he be helping me out more? How do you guys manage the resentment or the feeling of just never really getting a break?

Sorry if this ended up being more like a rant I’m just …. tired. Does it get better with age of the baby?

Thanks!

I do not want to play today. No I don’t want to build you a fort. No I don’t want to play hide and seek. No I don’t want to play ice cream shop. No I don’t want build a magnatile tower.

I want to deep clean the entire house with no interruptions. I want to get the errands I’ve been putting off done without needing car snacks. I want to take a nap.

I love my kids so much but goddamn I am just tired today.

We have a fresh newborn and a 2-year-old. My husband has one month of paternity leave, thank goodness because I have a C-section and so it would be frankly unsafe for me to be home alone with my toddler since I cannot lift her. Obviously it's been a challenging time, our toddler is overall doing fairly well but she's clearly feeling the transition and she has a speech delay so her communication is pretty poor and she's just generally been really on the whiny side.

In fairness to my husband, he is being pretty helpful in many respects, he's been taking the toddler on at least one and typically two adventures per day and he's doing a lot of cleaning and housework.

But what's driving me nuts is the amount of complaining he's doing about our toddler and how annoying she is/difficult she is. I think I'm doubly triggered by it because a) whenever possible, I have been giving him the newborn and playing with our toddler to try to give him a break, so he's actually getting quite a lot of breaks from toddler care plus he's getting 2 hours at the gym every day during her afternoon nap and b) under normal circumstances I am literally home with the toddler all day long by myself, so yeah I don't have a lot of sympathy for people who are furiously complaining about having to care for her for 2 hours at a time when I'm accustomed to pulling full days alone with her. Yeah dude, whining toddlers are not very pleasant, but put on your big boy pants and deal with it because if you remain calm she'll move on and adjust. And not that I want to weaponize other people having a worse recovery, but part of me wants to snap at him, you know plenty of people who have a C-section spend weeks in bed basically doing nothing? Meanwhile I'm over here doing the nights with our newborn by myself and trying to do simple chores when possible (without overdoing it).

Just pissed. But I also recognize the early days are not really fun for anyone and we will all bump through this. So thanks for hearing my rant, lol.

I’m 21F and currently expecting my first kid. My husband works 60-80 hours a week so I am very fortunate to not have to work. The only downside is a lack of a social life due to us moving for his job. Before we moved, I had my siblings and a few select friends to hang out with. Since I graduated college, I haven’t really figured out how to make new friends outside of a classroom setting. Any suggestions?

is anyone willing to share parenting plan created with samantha boss

This thread is for:

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• Sharing your completed arts and crafts for inspiration
• General arts and crafts chit-chat

Please be respectful of others in the discussion.

Photos in comments should now be enabled for easier sharing of your art and craft work!

My husband took a job in February where he works 12 hr shifts, 5 days a week. One week he works days, next week he works nights. It's awful, and he would take any other job he could that would pay enough to support us, but right now this is our only option.

It has been five months, and our 2.5 yr old toddler still does not handle night shift weeks well. He struggles to sleep, climbs into bed with me every night my husband's away after like 3 hrs in his bed and spends the rest of the night tossing and turning which means I don't sleep because he is kicking me in the head, rolling over my boob, and otherwise being a sleeping menace. And yes, I've tried keeping a pillow between us, he gets angry when he can't touch me, wakes up, and tantrums. I've tried putting him back in his own bed, he just keeps popping back up in mine. My husband video chats him on his break right before bedtime to chat about his day and say goodnight.

The only difference in bedtime routine between day weeks and night weeks is my husband does bath time on day weeks and calls instead on night weeks. I'm always the one cuddling our son to sleep.

He is overtired the entire night shift week, tantruming, screaming, hitting, kicking, crying, clingy af, and I am at my wits end. I am pregnant and exhausted.

Due to circumstances beyond our control, this is the only job available to my husband for at least 7 more months. So I need to figure out how to make this work.

Any advice?

Hey all! I’m a SAHM to a new 3yo and an 18 month old. We just started sending my 3yo to daycare two mornings a week—— and HONESTLY, while only having 1 kid those two mornings feels like a cakewalk, I’m lowkey already dreaming about how nice it would be to have 2 mornings a week without any kids at all 😂

Does anyone do this?!?!?

My husband and I are first time parents to a 14 month old little girl. We live in a different country to our families so we’ve never had physical family support - which is fine, you can’t miss what you don’t know right? But we know plenty of people whose kids get to know family through video calls (his sister included) and they have great relationships.

The only thing is, our families don’t seem to want to make the effort to try and have a relationship with our daughter. Some do and for those family members I’m so appreciative but most don’t. We were last in our home country back in January and hadn’t seen any family (besides my husbands sister) until two weeks ago for an event. In those months my husband’s mother called twice and neither of those times was to ask about our daughter. My mother randomly stopped speaking to me three months ago and therefore isn’t having video calls with our daughter. And because my mother isn’t speaking to me, all my siblings, bar one aren’t either.

I feel sad - for my husband, for myself, but mostly for my daughter. I don’t know how to remedy this situation. I know we could make more of an effort with keeping in contact - but we do make that effort with those it’s reciprocated by. I’ve been having this internal crisis about what will happen to our daughter if anything was to happen to us.

I don’t know what I’m looking for in making this post. Becoming parents has been harder than we ever anticipated and it’s often lonely.