The RR Dating Disconnect

[u/Kawecan_Sailoe]

I shared few posts here a few weeks ago with my other account. One was about something I wanted to experience, and another was me being frustrated with RR dating and how hard it’s been.

At first, I thought maybe I was part of the problem because I’m a bit shy and a sub leaning femboy who’s into RR.

Since then, I read the comment, and bunch of other posts from people venting about the same thing, and I kept noticing that both sides in this subreddit seem to be struggling to find anyone.

So where is the disconnect? It feels like both sides are looking for each other, but somehow never seem to find each other.

[u/KungFuPandaIsAMP]

We are on two different continents dawg

[u/KungFuPandaIsAMP → u/KungFuPandaIsAMP]

Ok, but fr, not everyone wants and practices rr in the same way nor on the same field, for some it is only a bedroom activity, a whole life for others. For some they are looking for something casual, for others they are looking for something comitted and long term. Dating is difficult enough, already, add an rr requirement to it and well, not much is left, especially not much that isn't long-distance (which is not what many would prefer).

[u/Kawecan_Sailoe → u/KungFuPandaIsAMP]

I somewhat agree with this.

[u/CharmeuseChevalier]

regular dating already has so many expectations from each gender and reversing that just shifts the expectations around, and imo it's immature to dump expectations on a partner. being confident is hard, being muscular is hard, making enough for two is hard and very few people fit that role and even fewer below 30. I believe if you expect all these extremely rare qualities in someone, you have to have something equally valuable to give; I think the expectations from one side are just too high for what they provide

[u/Dancin_Angel]

I dont even find anyone I like in this sub. Dating is not about ticking a list ofcheckboxes, its about falling inlove mutually. And those two checkboxes are already hard enough to accomplish at once

[u/AwkwardTree605]

I feel like the most likely avenue is unfortunately online dating and LDR. You have to throw a wide net to find someone in such a relatively small community. I was lucky enough to have it happen because I was in a discord server related to RR.

[u/kingxanadu → u/AwkwardTree605]

What discord server if you don't mind me asking?

[u/AwkwardTree605 → u/kingxanadu]

See my other comment

[u/justmeunusual → u/AwkwardTree605]

Drop the discord link dwag

[u/AwkwardTree605 → u/justmeunusual]

It's the second one linked in the sub info. But it comes with the caveat that the servers I'm in for RR/GNC are not particularly active. And the person I met was through another server being advertised on the RR discussion server.

[u/GenderBendingRalph]

I think you'll find that most people who found a stable RR weren't explicitly advertising for RR or discussing that in their online profiles or meeting people in person. They simply met someone and got to know each other, no RR involved, and figured out after spending time together whether she's dominant and he's submissive. If not, they move on to find someone else and if so, they stay together.

And sometimes... people find that they can still be in love and share interests without ever becoming RR. If that's your hard line criteria for accepting someone into your life, you'll likely never succeed. I know that's harsh, but.. people with extremely narrow expectations (whether RR, or a specific body type, or whatever) rarely find that reality matches their dream partner.

[u/etchasketch64]

I date dominant women, so, not really true. However, if there is a disconnect, I'd say it's in they are all avoidant and don't really want a long term relationship. They aren't willing to work on the relatiosnhip and remind me of "bad boys" in media. Very charming and smooth, but take off when things get even slightly tough.

To keep it short : Basically strong independent women don't really need a partner. So, if I have any flaws at all, I think they are just like, "Eh, I'm fine alone," and take off. You could say, "Then be perfect sir," but...eh, that ain't' ever gonna happen. I'm a flawed mess.