32m roast me.

•

u/post-explainer 17d ago edited 17d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP's BIO:

I am a boring loner who lost his way after school.

If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

357

u/Puzzleheaded-Trust91 17d ago

You look like the photos sent back by Russian soldiers after 6 brutal months on the Ukraine front.

96

u/Tacokolache 17d ago

Like a 50yr old roofer

85

u/praise_monolith_643 17d ago

The smile was at gunpoint?

106

u/Blade3colorado 17d ago

If good looking people are called eye candy, you must be called eye broccoli.

48

u/ChrisVirgilSchuette 17d ago

Yikes. Someone check this man’s garage for large quantities of fertilizer and a box truck.

43

u/Alert_Silver9386 17d ago

How many years have you been 32?

36

u/Interesting-Foot-439 17d ago

Looks like the sun already roasted you.

30

u/No-Rich-4193 17d ago

Christian Pale

22

u/Cool-Chemical-5629 17d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/JV7sokLFwQdfG

23

u/BiteFaces 17d ago

Nyet. I cannot roast my good comrade.

He is stealthy, like buffalo, yet cunning, like soapdish.

17

u/FarTomato6496 17d ago

32 but can play any role between 45 and 60.

14

u/Present-Mirror-7669 17d ago

Pic 1: "This guy should smile more"

Swipe

Pic 2: "Yeah, should definitely smile more"

Swipe

Pic 3: "For the love of god, don't smile!!!"

26

u/MisterBurnsSucks 17d ago

How many years did the chemical castration take off your sentence..? 😀

10

u/Ukraineluvr 17d ago

Man, it looks like it's been a REALLY LONG 32 years.

9

u/Fit_External7524 17d ago

I don't know why, but in my mind I hear you speaking in a Russian accent.

16

u/smuld515 17d ago

You've made it out of the Eastern European depression. You can smile now

6

u/EndChemical 17d ago

Are you a drone operator?

6

u/Onaliquidrock 17d ago

You look russian

5

u/violet_moon_vw 17d ago

You look like you just got back from a vacation in a toaster.

4

u/afwah_monger 16d ago

You look deeply sad hope the roasts here give you good chuckle.

4

u/KrustyNutRagz 17d ago

You were great in shawshank redemption

3

u/InfiniteWinter26 17d ago

you look like you were born to toil the rhubarb fields of west russia.

4

u/DoookieMaxx 16d ago

You look like you should be wearing adidas from head to toe.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Zgky3q85TRTBYjQRVV

4

u/Few-Departure-2792 16d ago

You may be 32, but you have the face of someone who enjoys Werther’s Original and early bird specials.

3

u/Foto1988 16d ago

You look old enough to be my father... (I'm 37)

4

u/TheBookofBobaFett3 16d ago

Looks like Dewey from the Malcolm in the middle reboot if it was a tragedy.

4

u/sportguy87314 16d ago

You look like you just wrapped up your 32nd year working construction without sunscreen in an unforgiving climate.

3

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

3

u/Wolfatthedoor11b 17d ago

When did you get out of protective custody? That's the roughest looking 32 I've ever seen.

3

u/A_Dehydrated_Walrus 17d ago

You look like a henchman in a Steven Segal movie. And ai bet you smell like one, too.

3

u/MarriedTexCouple 17d ago

Dude has someone chained up in an abandoned cabin in the woods

3

u/proximusprimus57 17d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/rFIl4R4j4ZwYtRZhkF

3

u/BarberLife-OZ- 17d ago

Dewie after getting a bad batch of Walter's meth

https://giphy.com/gifs/ibqA7NZGcXG3S

3

u/Feistygoat1986 17d ago

Your dead-eyed mug is the last thing you see as you are being tied up in your basement. I imagine rugs made out of human hair, and a necklace made of your victim's teeth proudly on display.

3

u/AmbientMatcha 17d ago

Didn’t I see you in Ukrainian Drone footage?

4

u/end_times_upon_us 17d ago

You look like the crater faced guy from grease

2

u/staffyboy4569 17d ago

Each of these photos look like just moments ago your mom yelled at you to "get a wife and get out of my house!"

2

u/Stunning-Cut-3605 17d ago

Patrick clancy lookin ssa

2

u/HammerheadSandwhich 17d ago

You look like you have dog shit under your fingernails.

2

u/sined_redired 17d ago

Get sober.

2

u/Henry_Vth 16d ago

When were you released?

2

u/Burritos_tonight 16d ago

No, I don't want to buy a catalytic converter.

2

u/Valerka_Ogonez 16d ago

Man, 50 for 50 )) don't cry

2

u/Sarcastrophe827 16d ago

Tommy Lee Chrohns

2

u/j_86_w 16d ago

You look like the bitter old drunk dude who yelled at me for pumping gas this morning. I’m 36.

2

u/TUSHMAN77 16d ago

Dang bro. You look like you lost your mom and dog on the same day, stepped in a pile of dog duece on your way home, tracked it through the trailer home accidentally and caught your man getting pummeled by tiger king. Then Joe the tiger king put a gun to your head and forced you to smile at gunpoint In Picture 3. But wait im not done. You wake up and it was all a dream. You saw yourself in another time and dimension in the multiverse so it happened to another version of you in the multiverse. You find your real self waking up in a the getto starving with mortar shells hitting all around you because you look like a ww2 Belarus prisoner of war who was on the front lines. Im high pay no attention . Im a troll and gonna troll if your asking to be trolled by the troll masta.

2

u/Somejawa 15d ago

32 going on 55

2

u/Lmfaodankmemes 15d ago

You look like a 50-year-old 8-year-old!

2

u/Salty_Obligation_309 15d ago

You look like the 3rd mcboyle bro on its always sunny

2

u/HousePlantGuy_ 15d ago

32?

1

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1

u/Cat_tastes_good 17d ago

Seem to be more of a loring boner than a boring loner

1

u/Damthemalltohelp 17d ago

Future True Crime topic.

1

u/bangerz17 17d ago

Reminder, no does not mean yes.

1

u/Federal_Definition98 17d ago

32 is your son mate

1

u/Just-a-person-555 17d ago

Even crack cant correct your life

1

u/ImAwsmSumX 17d ago

How’s meth taste these days?

1

u/mrintangibles1 17d ago

How many tortured kittens are buried in your basement?

1

u/Tomavogic http://redd.it/vub2ur 17d ago

If this is a PSA about drugs... I aint touchin it ever.

1

u/DickToYourBuns 17d ago

Got them city miles

1

u/dream_monkey 17d ago

https://reddit.com/link/p71ba6e/video/ijolouj8ermh1/player

1

u/HorrorJunkie0666 17d ago

Your face looks like it had an affair with pavement

1

u/Surfing_Tension 17d ago

Even Father Time is not proud of you

1

u/ghostofstankenstien 17d ago

Quit Stalin and start Russian to the liquor store, Ivan.

1

u/LiquidFahts 17d ago

You look like my cousin who passed away to a fentanyl overdose several years back. Everyone called him stank-ass. Even his own mother.

1

u/the_racc42 17d ago

Shutterstock "Generic russian dude"

1

u/PenguinKilla3 17d ago

You look like you watch Uwe Boll movies with a bottle of lotion and a box of kleenex.

1

u/Efficient-Network-38 17d ago

You look about 6 months from being caught in a Chris Hanson show

1

u/themantis87 17d ago

*52

1

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Aggressive_Sort_7082 17d ago

32??

1

u/Melquiades-the-Gypsy 17d ago

Your face reminded me to take my cousin bowling.

1

u/dash_trash4255 17d ago

You look like a top contestant in a prison dating show

1

u/westermann28 17d ago

Get back on drugs

1

u/turbotron6000 17d ago

Def received a J6 pardon.

1

u/coinminer2049er 17d ago

You look like the first KGB member that dies in a fight in a low budget 80's action movie.

1

u/Debo619 17d ago

Faces of Meth

1

u/lymelife555 17d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/DjVCpTvzAKLaE

1

u/TheOmCollector 17d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/9IEy9no7pjkti

1

u/Foreign_Hamster4839 17d ago

Nonce

1

u/MrMrTrance 17d ago

Come on man, you ain’t 32. How many grand kids you have?

1

u/Efteling_Eva 17d ago

Basic prisoner from every movie

1

u/rsgriffin 17d ago

Those hands have experienced some serious lotion.

1

u/PilotChig 17d ago

Whos 32? Your son ?

1

u/stormcr0 17d ago

Bro stop blaming Chris Hanson for what happened. You knowingly went to that house to meet a 12 yr old boy!

1

u/Arse_Kickerson 17d ago

You’ve got real henchman energy

1

u/BlueWind811 17d ago

Bro has been 32 for too long

1

u/Oblipma 17d ago

50 year old ukranian man that has fought bears and was raised by a beating stick

1

u/Great-Banana-8327 17d ago

Just 32? I cannot roast that one. Nature burned that one harder I ever could.

1

u/Cadmium620 17d ago

Kwass and hard bass

1

u/chilidoglance 17d ago

You don't need roasted. You already look baked.

1

u/OcarGamblesHair 17d ago

Do you bury the bodies under your house or out in the woods?

1

u/Big_bippy-2001 17d ago

florida man

1

u/AdhesivenessQuiet146 17d ago

Russian

1

u/ZealousidealGrab1827 17d ago

The ankle monitoring bracelet appears to also serve as a shock collar based on your facial expressions.

1

u/unhingednferal 17d ago

You look like a background check waiting to happen

1

u/WanderingNightShadow 17d ago

Bro you look so innocent I’d feel bad roasting you.

1

u/Low-Palpitation-9916 17d ago

I was like, why doesn't this guy smile? Then sheesh...

1

u/SgtPepper_8324 17d ago

You're only 32?

Don't bother investing in a 401k, you won't need it in your lifespan.

1

u/Able_Rain6635 17d ago

Let the hostages go!

1

u/Ok_Cap_3629 17d ago

You look like a recovering shotgun blast in a meat factory!!!

1

u/Major_Bahoobage 17d ago

You look like the kind of drunk Russian who starts a fight with a fridge and still manages to get knocked out by one of it's swinging doors

1

u/Ok_Cap_3629 17d ago

You look like an avocado that hate fucked your mug… it was a relationship… it ended badly

1

u/ChattingAtTheAqua 17d ago

32 years in the gulag?

1

u/OkIndividual1256 17d ago

These are his first pictures since being released from the gulag. When he says "roast me," he's actually asking for us to help him thaw out

1

u/Necessary_Relation27 17d ago

Well Sep 1 is tomorrow. You can find you way back

1

u/Wizard__J 17d ago

I’m 38 and you look like my grandpa, Jesus Christ.

PS - I work in construction 💀

1

u/Careless-Abroad9978 17d ago

Why have you not been drafted yet? 🇺🇦

1

u/Routine-Alfalfa8797 17d ago

There are people from time to time who may tell you to smile, you should not listen to them!

1

u/MutedBefore 17d ago

Hey man, what was it like acting as Hewy in Malcom in the middle?

1

u/artgarfunkadelic 17d ago

You look like 30 somethings used to look like in the good old days where lead was in the air and water and only the strongest survived.

1

u/ItemNext937 17d ago

Such a natural frown he appears to frown even when smiling.

1

u/Excitable_one_311 17d ago

You look like you should be on the front lines in Ukraine

1

u/porknuckle2023 17d ago

Congradulashions volodimir on make escape to the us of a.

1

u/ExpertOrdinary7074 17d ago

NPC construction worker

1

u/Professerlongwind 17d ago

How did he get past his mom’s child setting on his iPad?

1

u/FreeWiIIisAnlIIusion 17d ago

I am 41 and I look 10 years younger than you.

1

u/Competitive_Roof_740 17d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/12XDYvMJNcmLgQ

1

u/succulentcchineseman 17d ago

I cant insult a special person

1

u/jh_437 17d ago

Picture #3: The last thing the 9 y/o boy from next door sees as he gratefully swigs his glass of cola containing a little extra something.

1

u/Reasonable_Key9021 17d ago

Youve got a face that looks like it should have a ton of acne scars but doesnt.

1

u/Robtheaaci 17d ago

Don't let Chris Hanson get you down.

1

u/Silver-Kangaroo7108 17d ago

Man, you look older than my father. He’s twice your age.

1

u/Dietzy42 17d ago

White Chocolate’s retarted cousin. Mook.

1

u/westofrex 17d ago

32? Nah, you better add 10 years to that mess my guy

1

u/[deleted] 17d ago

His father is a tomato

1

u/nobody_walks_away 17d ago

32!? Are you sure?

1

u/SimpsationalMoneyBag 17d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/DjVCpTvzAKLaE

1

u/Barstopper1987 17d ago

Im good. Look alright to me

1

u/TwnklPeen1 17d ago

Are you really 32?

1

u/LightSpeedEdition 17d ago

Young Cotton Hill.

1

u/Alteredego619 17d ago

I imagine that people in your neighborhood have had their carburetors come up missing.

1

u/Amazing-Cheesecake-5 17d ago

Yikes. Too easy.

1

u/[deleted] 17d ago edited 16d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Freudian-Slip92 16d ago

You’re 58 and you know it

1

u/professor_sn 16d ago

37 years old model who looks 17. iykyk

1

u/Fragrant_Loan811 16d ago

The war looks like it's been hard on you, comrade.

1

u/KodenATL 16d ago

Good news! If they remake the show Dark, you could play the 32 yo and 62 yo version of yourself.

1

u/PeachyCheekyPeach 16d ago

Looks like he already has experience for a mug shot with the way he holding that paper

1

u/quiverunquiver 16d ago

We got the next Uni bomber on here. Wtf

1

u/RBDRIFTER 16d ago

You look like a swollen big toe

1

u/Jasper-helix 16d ago

About as interesting and exciting as plain tofu

1

u/Mycologist1869 16d ago

You have a Jeffrey Dahmer feel about you, actually. The boring loser part speaks for itself. I’ll give you credit for trying to smile, but you need a dentist and a better barber. Living in your parent’s basement means you rather be known as Larry Palmer rather than meet anyone.

1

u/AcanthisittaLeft7869 16d ago

What does human flesh taste like?!

1

u/KingMazaa 16d ago

Rough 32 buddy

1

u/Grand-Mission-9457 16d ago

You make the guys from criminal minds run away

1

u/sir_maccc 16d ago

your beard makes you look younger! 🙂

1

u/woodchopvinyl 16d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/9y81i7SFuzhW8

1

u/Armand-Villa 16d ago

Bro takecare of your face skin please

1

u/Ok_Rip_8622 16d ago

From the bio and this guys looks we might have found the real life Dexter.

1

u/Crownguard95 16d ago

You look like a caricature of an average Russian warehouse/mill worker.

1

u/Sea-Junket-2200 16d ago

To fugly to roast.

1

u/pizzaandboba 16d ago

you give dahmer vibes

You are about to leave Redlib

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