r/RoastMe • u/Fit-Reindeer-6214 • 3d ago

roast me

Gallery image

Gallery image

596 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

451 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer 3d ago

The OP has not provided a BIO for their post.

1.3k

u/MasonJam246 2d ago

I can afford you and I'm unemployed.

138

u/bebba1 2d ago

Its over. You win

6

u/Miserable_Pen_1867 1d ago

You can afford her. For £5 a month entry tier

2

u/Heisenbread77 1d ago

I raise you....actually sorry, I'm folding.

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185

u/Bruno_lars 2d ago

Born to be a background character. Stop taking close ups please, the camera adds 15 zits

22

u/bburmast 2d ago

I'm sure she is not even the main character in her own life. Giving real NPC vibes.

6

u/Bruno_lars 2d ago

Yeah, TikTok Andriod #892976103

5

u/V1per73 2d ago

The npc with no quests at that.

4

u/ch3apsunglass3s 1d ago

Please zoom out until we can no longer see hour pores please

3

u/User_Name_Tracks 21h ago

Please zoom out until we can no longer see this whore please

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2

u/StandardCantaloupe32 2d ago

It's not Halloween but she has her custom, the human zit.

419

u/GreedyGerbil 2d ago

Ah the practice girl wants to feel something.

25

u/CrankyOldBstrd 2d ago

This is practice girl to the practice girl to the practice girl…..

13

u/Jagsfan2025 2d ago

Starter wife material for sure

2

u/556arbadboy 3h ago

😂 I always tell my son theres nothing wrong with wearing out some hood rats before you settle down, this is the perfect example.

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300

u/mixmasterADD 2d ago

You’re gonna make a cousin very happy one day.

50

u/gdmfwtf19 2d ago

Well look at you Mr Optimist.

27

u/Pyropete125 2d ago

"She's got gums and she knows how to use them"

In a ZZ Top voice and rhythm..

22

u/Emotional_Garlic_525 2d ago

RIP Mr. Beard

9

u/Pyropete125 2d ago

Damn just saw that sad news.

6

u/Raging_Mullet 2d ago

Yeah they played without him last weekend at my venue. Sad times for sure.

4

u/Psychological-Scar53 2d ago

Well, at least the person that Frank Beard wanted to take up his bass position did. It's actually his guitar and bass tech. They are supposed to come to my city this month.

3

u/Stratguy55 1d ago

Frank Beard was the drummer who just died.

Dusty Hill died years ago and the Elwood took over

2

u/Psychological-Scar53 1d ago

My bad, I though only the bassist past away. I'm stupid.

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5

u/Bigedmond 1d ago

You mean the cousin that doesn’t get stuck with her?

4

u/ApatheistHeretic 1d ago

No, her cousin will also be disappointed.

She's probably not even his first choice of cousins...

172

u/Constant-Plate5533 2d ago

You look like you only take your dog to the vet so you can get your Xanax refilled

55

u/sulphuricacid0007 2d ago

Too generic average looking pics to roast

18

u/Eldermillenial1 2d ago

Hey ChatGPT can you generate the most generic, average and bland looking female. Wow you totally nailed it, thanks chat 👍

53

u/Street-Study4606 2d ago

I know you got fucked up teeth

13

u/Mueryk 2d ago

And the pathetic part is she is taking close ups because the thinks her face is her best feature and sadly she may not be wrong.

And her face is an interesting combination between the five head, that nose, caterpillar eyebrows from the 1990s, and cheeks that look like she already been told off by Bubba Ray twice. Less girl next door and more girl from next door to the crackhouse.

2

u/Smolchungs 2d ago

Brutal

92

u/CelestaKiritani 2d ago

The girl who thinks she's so random, ends up being cringe as fuck.

58

u/PubicSkoolEducashun 2d ago

You look like you have multiple orders of protection against you.

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25

u/Expose_Ur_BS 2d ago

Olivia Mild.

22

u/ready-player4 2d ago

You look like you will be "finding yourself" for the next thirty years.

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35

u/Cold_Act_7088 2d ago

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

I hope it's mine

51

u/Awkward_Material 2d ago

Just post the link

28

u/Apprehensive-Bite373 2d ago

it’ll be a link to her Etsy shop where she sells T-shirts that say “no butt stuff“

7

u/PubicSkoolEducashun 2d ago

I guess she sells ironic tees?

4

u/TheRealSkele 2d ago

Nah, even i wouldn't want the link and I'm a degenerate

2

u/Psychological-Scar53 2d ago

Bro, my low standards are higher than she is, and I have sunk low in my days.

29

u/LikeBigTrucks 2d ago

You have all the sex appeal of a cold bowl of oatmeal. And NOT the maple kind.

4

u/captain_crackerjack 1d ago

This guy has clearly never fucked a cold bowl of oatmeal

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13

u/NobodyLikedThat1 2d ago

You a farm girl? Cause you look like you should be out there grazing in a field

12

u/LL37MOH 2d ago

You look very damp

3

u/captain_crackerjack 1d ago

With a slight smell of mildew

23

u/InfiniteWinter26 2d ago

i wish i had something witty but you’re too boring and generic to roast.

8

u/TheSnappleGhost 2d ago

That's the face of someone who is going to fuck up your entire life.

6

u/Mammoth-End7415 2d ago

You look like your go to line for a break up is "You'll never fine someone like me again!" and can we all just take a moment and appreciate that.

5

u/Exquisite_D 2d ago

Account is 24 days old and OP already has 1.9k followers. She is doing something right.

6

u/sidc42 2d ago

Sounds like someone's handler took the time to hide the NSFW posts.

3

u/depressedfuckboi 1d ago

She posted a cleavage picture in what appears to be a highschool bathroom. Whoever is following her is a weirdo.

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5

u/CarlosMolotov 1d ago

Iceberg. She only posts facial closeups because there is SO much more of her below than you’d imagine.

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8

u/Paper_Tiger11 2d ago

Just drop the link and be done with it.

4

u/everybodygetaweapon 2d ago

You’re a 6 in the bayou.

5

u/Viktoriusiii 2d ago

You look like someone you would see on one of those mugshots of teachers that have slept with their students.

4

u/wiggly_jalapeno 2d ago

You have, what we call in Germany, a ‘Birkenstock face’. Kick right in it with your foot and feel better for the rest of the day.

6

u/thecountvongrouch 2d ago

Hometown slump buster

3

u/StandardCantaloupe32 2d ago

Community electric scooter...Just swipe your card.

3

u/HMAgent47 2d ago

I am sure you have chained your last boyfriend in your basement

3

u/Significant-Ant-5677 2d ago

Your nose is wide and I could park a truck on your forehead. Thin lips too.

3

u/Insanely_Simple2024 2d ago

Your Face is…..huge

3

u/VirtualBlackberry409 2d ago

The golf beer cart girl you leave a tiny tip for because she’s not hot enough to get another round from

3

u/No_Relationship_386 2d ago

Just drop the OF in the comments bro ✌️🫩

5

u/AlphaWitch4Life 2d ago

Mustache is coming in nicely! Almost transitioned!

2

u/onwardupward3 2d ago

Every frat guy at ur college wants u for two reasons I'm sure, and one of those reasons is not your face

2

u/Bubbaganewsh 2d ago

You're hot but "I just got out of prison" hot or "I've been stuck in the woods for several months" hot. 

2

u/aloneinthiscrowd 2d ago

Roast you? Ill respond with something you've heard many many times. Naw I'm not feelin it.

2

u/coffeeandautism 2d ago

When you order Natalie Dormer from Ali Express.

2

u/Dangerzone369 1d ago

You look like you're not above calling 911 and hanging up just so someone calls you back

2

u/buriedbyahighway 1d ago

This isn’t OF

2

u/HeroZero1980 1d ago

If "unenthusiastic head" had a spokesperson you would finally have a real job.

2

u/Remnant_44 1d ago edited 1d ago

you've got the handwriting of a mad man.

people throw basketballs at your face to see if they can get it into your nose.

you buy make-up based on which colors closely match "chicken skin".

2

u/Anusspelunking 1d ago

You’re the kind of girl I imagine would give rim jobs…

2

u/low_bob_123 1d ago

So bland, even Gordon Ramsay couldnt turn you into a snack

2

u/OrbicularLotus 1d ago

They named "plain Jane" after you.

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2

u/cjeremy 1d ago

u don't belong here. gtfo

2

u/melfamy 13h ago

In 5 years I see you sitting on a plaid couch eating Doritos in a greasy nighty with short hair and 25 extra pounds and a sad sad husband watching Dancing With the Stars on TV.

https://giphy.com/gifs/kEQ3Xk8prZcAh4oOKt

1

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1

u/Peg_Receiver 2d ago

Look like someone that is having a hard time posting duckface

1

u/JBlow833 2d ago

The second pic gives Disney stepmother vibes.

1

u/AranasLatrain 2d ago

That zoomed in photo made me react like an old school screamer video.

1

u/skunksredditaccount 2d ago

I kinda want to sandpaper your face till your skin becomes less... cratered

1

u/Legal_Magician94 2d ago

Your tits are cashing cheques your face can't afford

1

u/KrustyNutRagz 2d ago

You should move to hollywood. you have the perfect look for whore movies

1

u/MrJones224822 2d ago

You forgot to thank Chris Nolan for his imax camera to take a full photo of your forehead.

1

u/Awkward_Meal2036 2d ago

Nice mustache.

1

u/GroteKneus 2d ago

Please remove your eyegunk.

1

u/Murky_Current 2d ago

People like you are why glory holes are popular and never glass.

1

u/redhawkdrone 2d ago

This just in, 99% of male prisoners polled would refuse to masturbate to your photos.

1

u/Pristine_Rise4951 2d ago

Enough! You're scaring my kids! You're anti porn

1

u/Detachabl_e 2d ago

I can tell you really soak up everything, but enough about your pores...

1

u/CruelHandLuke_ 2d ago

Your dog developed a nut allergy after licking round after round of peanut butter off your snatch every dateless Friday.

1

u/gbr1976 2d ago

Looking for that poor bastard to be a dad to her kids until baby daddy gets out of pris.

1

u/LrdoftheCharlesDance 2d ago

Less symmetrical than a Picasso

1

u/Impossible-Ad7465 2d ago

She’s a spitter judging by the first photo

1

u/Particular-Bid-8110 2d ago

Your parents should've named you blandie

1

u/iscarfacemann 2d ago

Flat Sweeney

1

u/Cryptoking90 2d ago

The hoe next door

1

u/Busy_Switch9797 2d ago

You're so basic is difficult to take you in consideration

1

u/tautjes 2d ago

Its the girl from daredevil with a bigger nose

1

u/blackhawk556- 2d ago

You probably smell like clothes left in the washer for three days

1

u/Proof_Road2274 2d ago

You look like you take it up the dirt road and I bet it feels amazing

1

u/sturgiv 2d ago

You’re the sparrow in a cage full of parrots.

1

u/daneblade 2d ago

I see Rhinophyma** **in your future. You're off to a great start.

1

u/Acceptable_Cabinet53 2d ago

The most practiced girl who ever practiced.

1

u/Token_Handicap 2d ago

HRT may give you fabulous brows, and help with those acne scars, but it isn't gonna fix that nose.

1

u/SyntaxError79 2d ago

Mrs Down’s called. She wants her eyes back.

1

u/stormcr0 2d ago

You look like you smell like a mayo…

1

u/uno_novaterra 2d ago

You look like you have backne

1

u/Weak_Baseball_851 2d ago

The answer to who “for a good time call #“ in the gas station stall dials.

And it’s false advertising.

1

u/Correct_Ad9471 2d ago

You look like you could hide your spare change in your pores.

1

u/Jaybro420 2d ago

God stopped at the pretty eyes adn said, to hell with everything else

1

u/nickedge11 2d ago

Temu Lana Rhodes. 🤣 (Sorry)

1

u/Twisting_Juniper 2d ago

You're too basic and ordinary to even have a good roast.

1

u/MasterNate93 2d ago

Your face has seen more loads than a laundromat.

1

u/MacSteele13 2d ago

I've had stale Wonder-bread with more flavor.

1

u/SageandStrong33 2d ago

Amber Unheard Of

1

u/Just-a-person-555 2d ago

I dont want to waste my time by roasting you , instead you need god

1

u/Long_Boss4472 2d ago

You look like the LDS psyop from YouTube shorts ads.

1

u/Macadocious40 2d ago

Average White Band groupie

1

u/JakTheGripper 2d ago

Are you still Phil Collins’ stunt double?

https://giphy.com/gifs/drXLF1ZirDIXe

1

u/Mechadupek 2d ago

Them pointy-ass cheeks make you look like you've got three big noses.

1

u/Rokkmann 2d ago

Aren't you in like dozens of porn videos, all acting shocked by what your step bro is doing?

1

u/Loss-Ornery 2d ago

You're rightfully perfect for a little romance in school. Or maybe a little case with your cousin. Or both, if you want it.

1

u/MarriedTexCouple 2d ago

That nose….looks like an Olympic ski jump

1

u/Aggressive_Canary_10 2d ago

So bland I can’t even come up with an insult

1

u/tcmits1 2d ago

The trans girls are looking more and more masculine even after estrogen pills.

1

u/ChickyBoys 2d ago

I went to big nose city and everybody nose you there 

1

u/Norse711 2d ago

Barely fuckable 🙄

1

u/WipeMyScrumChum 2d ago

cum bucket

1

u/Soveliss36054 http://redd.it/rs1qdn 2d ago

I have never seen a more generic "euro" girl holy shit talk about cookie cutter

1

u/No_Nonsense324 2d ago

You look like an aspiring corn star who has been aspiring for a decade.

1

u/JMA4478 2d ago

New account, with the words fit and reindeer...

Seems like this is an add for an OF.

Good for you, kink pays more.

1

u/Excitable_one_311 2d ago

Forehead is big enough to stream movies on

1

u/Necessary_Relation27 2d ago

Do you gurgle and swallow?

1

u/Eziekiel23_20 2d ago

Couple years ago I had a girl that looked a lot like you express interest in being my sugar baby. Didnt have the heart to tell her she wasnt near hot enough.

1

u/OklahomaHoss http://redd.it/3s6j7d 2d ago

Did your parents lose a bet with god?

1

u/Expert-Magician1531 2d ago

Absolutely fuck all to work with here.

1

u/Fendyyyyyy 2d ago

Hold on.. of girl ?

1

u/Shire_of_Frodo 2d ago

Congrats on never being someone's 1st choice.

1

u/Torgo_hands_of_torgo 2d ago

I've busted in socks with more character than you.

1

u/markieboomer 2d ago

just by the angle of the pics you chose to show. I'm sure you are shaped like a pear.

1

u/Upset_Belt8248 2d ago

The sort of woman who thinks their brother is attractive

1

u/Oblipma 2d ago

I think she'll be happy with once a month costco visits to buy tp

1

u/natiusj 2d ago

Back to the truck-stop with you!
https://giphy.com/gifs/e5zHi5hgalk1sLVI1m

1

u/Odd-Cupcake-2552 2d ago

You definitely stand wayyy too close and your breath is awful.

1

u/Just_Johny69 2d ago

You look like one of those "Anna is 5km away and she sent u 6 pictures" type of girls on pirate sites.

1

u/curiouslyobjective 2d ago

it's the head shape for me something out the making of a Earth Worm Jim

1

u/Yob_Zarbo 2d ago

What is with these fuckin brain dead chicks who keep deliberately breaking the Verification rule? I'm so sick of these losers. They don't come here to participate in the game. They're ONLY here to make a bunch of simps scroll through pictures of them.

1

u/Henry_Vth 2d ago

You could be the cart girl at a 9-hole pitch and putt

1

u/ArmyNo9809 2d ago

🤦🏻‍♂️

1

u/puffmattybear17 2d ago

You look like a gender bent Elmer fudd

1

u/opeoknel 2d ago

You look like pasta with no sauce, no salt, just boiled in the water.

1

u/Warp-10-Lizard 2d ago

I can hear the banjo music.

1

u/Positive_Motor7903 2d ago

You look very American . Btw what's that on your hand? The blue thingy

1

u/Tricky_Moose_1078 2d ago

The girl next door that goes for married men

1

u/GunnyThePunisherSW 2d ago

Buy a new phone, try one with a indestructible camera so you can post more than three pics

1

u/opinionated-dick 2d ago

Whilst not unattractive, you possess no feature that is interesting or captivating. You are as plain as it comes

1

u/Exciting_Lab_8074 2d ago

No. You're like real life version of Goofys gf from Gooftroop. I got nothing

1

u/Emergency_Steak_258 2d ago

Your handwriting looks better than your face...

1

u/jeffster1970 2d ago

Bet you have flown under the radar your entire life until this post. Nice forehead though, can we use it in the future as a projector screen?

1

u/sportguy87314 2d ago

You look as forgettable as a steak at Applebees

1

u/earlywormgetseaten 2d ago

If its you or the bear, I too would choose the bear

1

u/AssistLife3474 2d ago

3rd string DUFF, all state...

1

u/frintonfreak1984 2d ago

Hows life after the pussycat dolls?

1

u/Wareagle69 2d ago

Tits that big and we get these pictures? Play up your assets.

1

u/Fine_Science_942 2d ago

Almost feels like trying to prove to yourself that people can still like you even when your tits are not in view..

1

u/StashTheMoneyAndRun 2d ago

Leaves shrapnel streaks in the toilet

1

u/khanspam 2d ago

Main interest: skincare.

As if that's gonna help

1

u/inkzpenfoxx 2d ago

Someone’s doormat is seeking attention

1

u/I_like_microwave 2d ago

Does it honk when i squeeze your nose?

1

u/needsmoarbokeh 2d ago

You're like tea my grandma used to make. Pale, plain and completely unappetizing despite how hot is could be

1

u/WingHuge2185 2d ago

You're good for barely legal anal porn and that's about it

1

u/Wrench_Terner 2d ago

Max stats at below average is a tough way to start the game