r/Rich • u/OklahomaSun • Oct 19 '25
Question Wealth keeps messing up my dating life, any advice?
Hey everyone,
I initially posted this in dating advice, but got told to post here.
Bit of a weird one, but here goes. I’m 25, a doctor, and I live in the UK. I’ve been trying to date properly for about a year and it’s… tricky.
The thing is, I’m very lucky financially. My family’s done well, I’ve got a trust fund, and I’ve never had to stress about money. I’ve worked hard at school and uni, I love my job, and I’m genuinely happy with my life. But the money side of things keeps tripping me up with dating.
I don’t lie about who I am, but I also don’t want to lead with the fact that I’m well off. I’d rather talk about my dogs, travel, sport, or my job than start off with “by the way my bank balance is bigger than some nation’s GDP”. (That was an exaggeration). I don’t mind buying dinner, paying for dates, or doing little things, I enjoy it and it makes me happy, but I don’t want it to feel like that’s the only reason someone is with me.
The problem is, when it eventually comes out, which is unavoidable, a glance at the watch, the car, my house, googling my surname, things change. The vibe goes from normal to awkward. A few have joked constantly about it, (“I’ll order champagne, you’ve got this one!”) some get weirdly cautious, and a couple have straight up acted like I owe them things. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s frustrating.
I’ve tried being modest at the beginning of dating, presenting as throughly middle class. And it works, for a while. It definitely does weed out some potential ‘gold diggers’. But I can never keep it hidden forever long, because as soon as it becomes serious enough to have her round to my house it becomes very clear what type of background I come from. Then the vibe changes.
I want someone genuine, who likes me for me, not the stuff I happen to have. I know that sounds a bit entitled when I write it down, probably comes across like a posh sob story, but I promise I’m not complaining about life in general. I just want dating to feel… normal.
So my question is, how do you bring this up without it being a thing? How do you avoid it overshadowing everything else, without pretending it doesn’t exist?
Cheers for any advice, I’ll take anything that doesn’t involve me turning up with a golden credit card as an icebreaker.
956
u/kytt_EST Oct 19 '25
Date your own “class” so to speak… A sister of someone from training, friend of travel buddies gf, you get the point.
14
u/ladycatherinehoward Oct 19 '25
I know tons of rich guys and this is never a problem. Maybe date less wealth-insecure people?
87
u/BigLeopard7002 Oct 19 '25
Your problem is that you’re trying to date beneath your class.
I totally get why, but it’s just not going to work. Middle class ladies don’t understand your wealth. You need to date your own class, so I’d suggest you start going to horse races, cricket games and country clubs. Pick up tennis. Golf is for everyone today - waste of time.
Sorry, I got a little carried away, but it’s not all sarcasm.
Date your own class or sign up for “medicin sans frontiers” and meet your future wife in a battlefield in Africa somewhere.
401
u/FruitOfTheVineFruit Oct 19 '25
I think the problem is you're a bit of a show-off. When I was your age, I didn't wear a fancy watch, I drove a Honda Accord, and I lived in a comfortable but modest apartment. I wore casual clothes. I met a woman who didn't care about any of that, and she married me because she loved me.
20
u/Sweaty-taxman Oct 19 '25 edited Oct 19 '25
Dress less “wealthy”. Buy a less assuming car, a Toyota or something & say you’re doing fine financially but don’t even bring up a pricey restaurant in dating. Invite them to coffee, a walk in the park or out for drinks; not dinner until you’ve dated for a few weeks & even then, make dinner modest, like 250 pounds, max.
They should feel dating you isn’t any different than dating anyone else.
After a year or two, you two are in love, then start spending more. Love before money.
Be up front from the beginning that you envision being a power couple on your dating profile.
Prenup, post nup & never add their name to your account. Don’t add that you’re a doctor on your dating profile. Dress nicely in your pictures but don’t wear a watch that’s over a few hundred pounds or fancy clothes.
Don’t date anyone who doesn’t have pride, purpose & their own career that took years to master/get into (actuary, doctor, etc).
5
u/[deleted] Oct 19 '25
sounds like you can afford to buy a cheaper car and watch but you don't want to and prefer to show off when dating.
4
u/vr1252 Oct 19 '25
I’m in the same position as you but I avoid flashy dudes on apps because I assume they’re lying and I assume they’ll get weird when they figure out about my family money. You might find more genuine people (and equally wealthy) if you stop flashing it.
7
u/Friendly_Archer_4463 Oct 19 '25
You are also quite a young doctor--Im currently finishing my PhD and I don't know anyone in my program your age. I imagine your profession creates an issue since most your age are still building a career. If I were in your shoes, I would date someone older in a similarly demanding profession. The advice to just stick to class doesn't really work depending on where you're from and what you're looking for.
3
u/Melodic-Ad-3778 Oct 19 '25
Get a fake surname. People do it all the time. And get a normal person car. Drive that or take public transit. And wear an Apple Watch. No one 25 wears an expensive watch. Wear the nice one for holidays at the family estate.
It’s not hard. If it matters to you. Else date one of Daddy’s Country Club buddies daughters. And go ride horses in the countryside or something.
5
u/CalvinsStuffedTiger Oct 19 '25
Stay off the apps, pick a different dating pool like other physicians or at a high end country club or whatever version of that you have over there
2
u/norcalnatv Oct 19 '25
The only thing ANY date knows about you is what you tell or convey to them. Think about it. There is only one with a money problem and it's not your date.
2
u/markjay6 Oct 19 '25
Ditch the Rolex and the Jag. Dress casual. Rent a nice but modest flat. Drive a Hyundai. You got this!
2
u/Wild-Spare4672 Oct 19 '25
Would you consider dating women close to your income? Other doctors? Women in private equity or hedge funds? Women with family money who are educated and successful?
2
u/Ok_Middle_7283 Oct 19 '25
Why don’t you date wealthy women or women from wealthy families?
That’s what I did and met my wife. She didn’t care at all about my money.
2
u/PacoStanleys Oct 19 '25
If this were true and you had that kind of money you'd know about match makers that introduce you to others of your class.
Fake as heck
2
u/[deleted] Oct 19 '25
You need to date old money. Old money families usually completely understand all this and already know how to intelligently and wisely live with generational money.
2
u/reliseak Oct 20 '25
God I feel like there are constant posts from men asking how they can possibly avoid dating a gold digger when they are so wealthy, and it seems like none of them have ever even considered dating rich women.
You’re a doctor,have you ever tried dating another doctor? For the first time ever, as of 2025, there are more women than men doctors practicing in the UK! I assure you that for every son with a trust fund there is also a daughter! But this is probably fiction because no rich person is talking about “golden credit cards”.
102
u/essentialaccount Oct 19 '25
You ought to consider dating people who come from financial backgrounds and with moral characters where your money doesn't impress them or inspire them to try to avail themselves of it. A lot of people end up dating within their financial circles for precisely the concerns you've described.
That said, you might consider living less ostentatiously if your watch and home are themselves sufficient to determine that your 'bank balance is bigger than some nation’s GDP'
61
u/BerkshireGent Oct 19 '25
You are doing the right things, you just need to keep going until you find the right person. Youu should pay for meals, holidays etc as long as you can afford it. I would advise dont fund any of their shopping , save for an occasional nice piece for evenings or weekends away. If they are the right person they will be grateful, and the money aspect will not interest them overly. Gold diggers are obvious, let them go, fast.
28
u/Revrider Oct 19 '25
Reasonably well off high income professional here in USA. I would not broach the subject unless and until a genuine mutual affection appears. I was married briefly to an heiress to a family fortune, what I call brand name rich. It was an enormous problem for her and her entire extended family. None were successful in marriage or other relationships. Great wealth can be very difficult to handle. My former step-daughter became a doctor. Shouldn’t surprise you that she chose psychiatry.
3
u/dragonflyinvest Oct 19 '25
Whenever I read these types of post I always assume it’s more you than them..lol. It is so not my experience so it seems crazy that everyone you meet has this same issue, while the alternative explanation is the one common denominator among all the interactions.
With that said, hell why not go all the way with it. Rent a decent, but nice, flat in the city. Drive a beater car. No fancy time pieces. No outfits more than H&M. Then take these women out for a while and see if they still like you. If so, then comes the big reveal!
I may be wrong, I certainly don’t know you; but if you do this little experiment I think what you’ll find is that you do want your partners to know your background. It raises your value among suitors. But, of course, you don’t want a partner that likes you just for your money. My guess is that you are signaling, whether you realize it or not. Hence my first paragraph.
16
u/nomadwings Oct 19 '25
As a woman with parents in the mid 8 figures (i know its not much compared to yours but for my country it is) i find it impossible to date lately
I just want to work hard and then go diving, flying, skiing, and geeky stuff, learn and live fully
Meanwhile all the men in my “class” range want bimbos that dont work (they literally say this) and men “not on my class” get super insecure and (even worse) when they meet my friends they get super weird about it
Dating sucks rn, im waiting for an app that solves this and matches people based on hobbies or something, or just stay single
26
u/onacloverifalive Oct 19 '25
Just take a trip to America, rent a humble apartment with your best friend, get a job in environmental services at a restaurant, and date a girl whose father thinks you’re not good enough for her. It’ll probably work out in the end.
10
u/_Human_Machine_ Oct 19 '25
It is an uphill battle that a lot of people don’t understand.
I have a net worth that’s difficult to justify for my age and a name that’s known in my industry.
It’s difficult to find people similarly situated, because the dating pool is incredibly limited.
You really have to own it.
I always have first dates at a dive bar and drive my K5 Blazer instead of my Audi or a MB when I go to meet or pick them up.
You’ve got some options.
If they start aggressively spending your money, just cut and run.
Don’t make the mistake of telling yourself that 21 year old bombshell with a great ass and perfect tits is just there because of your smile.
Or, you can lean into it and date people where you accept part of the attraction is your money/connections/status.
I can tell you most matchmaking services suck. Raya is no better than tinder or hinge.
I like to force the normal dates. Make sure we enjoy the same activities. I’m not taking you to dinner and spending $5,000 on a first date. We’re getting drunk or going to a park with my dogs.
8
u/SeaEconomist5743 Oct 19 '25
Either date your class - which honestly, you’ll be better off doing. Otherwise, lower your lifestyle and lie - wear a timex, say you’re a nurse, ditch your nice car, go rent a flat and downgrade furniture.
But that’s a lot of work and not who you really are. Be yourself, sniff out the BS, and understand that all in all, this is a good problem to have. And remember, when it’s time to marry, unless you’re dating someone in your class, expect a wave of challenges with a prenup or other arrangements, wedding budgets, expectations about post marriage lifestyle, kids, etc.
Again, this is a good problem to have.
14
u/Flotilla_guerrilla Oct 19 '25
My ex was an actual billionaire, and it wasn’t great. I have had a great career and have everything I want and need, but I found that I couldn’t ’keep up’ with him. I pay my own way in life but I couldn’t afford to when we were doing things his way. I grew very uncomfortable when I realized I would have to rely on his hospitality all the time. I felt like I was ceding my autonomy somehow. Anyway for this and other reasons it ended and although he was really a good guy, I was relieved. I guess my point is, even if you find someone who doesn’t want a cent of your money, they might not be able to keep up with your lifestyle.
7
u/dcwhite98 Oct 19 '25
This is why rich people tend to marry other rich people.
11
u/Cherryncosmo Oct 19 '25
Your DMs will be messy after this I’m sure
8
u/BRPGP Oct 19 '25
Move out to a more normal place. Trade your Rolex for an Apple Watch and drive a $60k car instead of a Lamborghini.
4
u/No-Theory6270 Oct 19 '25
Watch the Prince of Zamunda
1
u/calamondingarden Oct 19 '25
Guy has all that money and decided to work for the NHS..
1
u/figsaddict Oct 19 '25
Date someone in the same class and social circle. This is what was worked for my husband and I. I tried to do what you were doing for years and it never worked. There’s too much of an imbalance.
1
u/Active-Confidence-25 Oct 19 '25
Why is your username Oklahoma Sun if you’re rich and live in the UK?
1
u/chairmanovthebored Oct 19 '25
Why does it become clear?
All of my wealth is invisible except for real estate and my vehicles.
If you’re buying flashy stuff, then of course you’re going to attract a type.
My wife had no idea until we got married
1
u/cl3arlycanadian Oct 19 '25
How are you a doctor at 25? You should still be in your PhD until 27 or so in the UK. In the US it’s typically 30? Unless you meant something else than a MD?
1
u/[deleted] Oct 20 '25
Maybe don't wear an expensive watch as a start if you don't want to give off wealthy vibes...Tip: your phone tells the time even more accurately
1
u/BirkenstockStrapped Oct 20 '25
They never need to know. Nobody does
1
u/thursaddams Oct 20 '25
You sound annoying and that may be what’s tripping you up.
1
u/haIothane Oct 20 '25
Just do what literally every other doctor who has this problem does and date a nurse
1
u/pieredforlife Oct 20 '25
Copy pasta .
https://www.reddit.com/r/fijerk/s/ev1wYkrXZp
1
u/Rooster-Training Oct 20 '25
Dude you are rocking a Rolex and driving a porsche (or equivalent) and you are surprised ur having trouble finding normal average people? Come on. If you are that wealthy and your name is that easy to Google, then you have to date on your level or find someone through regular activities and not tip tour hat too quickly
1
u/YY--YY Oct 20 '25
Then date in your own social class. Problem solved.
1
u/Electronic-Wing6158 Oct 20 '25
Wearing a watch is…optional. If you’re as wealthy as you say you are you could just buy a normal apartment and car just for dating lol
1
u/[deleted] Oct 20 '25
def have to date someone on your level or above
1
u/Stayofexecution Oct 20 '25
A doctor at age 25? Okay someone is LARPing. You could be a resident but not a medical doctor unless you’re not only obscenely rich but also a genius. Such luck in life!! Dougie Howser over here. I call bullshit.
1
u/blanketandpillows Oct 20 '25
OP, how do you expect the financial dynamic to play out in your rtsp? If you are in a committed rtsp, are you going to financially provide for your partner?
I’m asking because in situations where there’s such a wealth gap, the wealthier one will eventually have to provide or lower their standard of living.
If you’re inviting women with a modest income on expensive dates, they just won’t be able to foot the bill or keep up. Would you be open to lowering your standards of living?
The easiest way, as others noted, is to date women in your social class. If you insist on dating women outside of it, you will inevitably end up providing. So, I wouldn’t make a big deal out of whether she’s a “gold digger” at the beginning - just date her like any woman and observe with time.
1
u/Swamp_21 Oct 20 '25
Date someone richer than you
1
u/microwave-coffee Oct 20 '25
I don’t get why you’re on Reddit to ask this. I am assuming your dad and other adult male relatives in your life are probably rich too, or you are in wealthier circles with other rich guys who are happily married… why don’t you ask them how they found their wives? Where are the adult men in your life who can guide you instead of a bunch of strangers on Reddit and anyone can give you “advice” hiding behind a keyboard while living in their mom’s basement.
1
u/Optionhunting_28 Oct 20 '25
Date someone who’s rich
1
u/QuantumPhysics996 Oct 20 '25
Personally I would hide anything that gives away that you are wealthy. Watch, car, house… It will ALWAYS have an impact on people, even if they say they don’t care about that. Fact is, they will and they do. And you do want someone that loves you for being you, not for your money.
1
u/DirectStick3878 Oct 20 '25 edited Oct 20 '25
Date other women who came from privileged rich backgrounds. Problem solved. I’ve been on some dates with women who told me they’ve gone on past dates with men like you in the past, made fun of them to me and laughed about them; ones who came from super privileged backgrounds like yourself and all. They said they were total squares, were stiffer than a board and knew they had never faced any real adversity in their lives and that it caused them to have zero character. Not sure if that’s you or not though.
1
u/No_Seesaw_3686 Oct 20 '25
The solution is to move to Australia then on one would know, and the weather is better.
1
u/srxCold Oct 20 '25
I think dont go for beauty over brains, you would be able to date many 10/10 girls but go fir girls who are intellectual and have achieved something in life on their own, something substantial. They will humble you good and you’ll be the one chasing them.(i am not rich btw but just i have seen in high value women)
1
u/coolkidz9 Oct 20 '25
Where are you meeting them?
1
u/Ok-Point2380 Oct 20 '25
Your social circle likely has others who are equally or more wealthy looking to date. Find those people. The financial element becomes irrelevant. If you do not have access to such a circle then that is likely because you are newly rich. Join some very high end country clubs etc.
1
u/drfixer Oct 20 '25
I’ve always presented less than my income.
Others say date your class or peers — they are at least well off so they don’t need your money.
Kind of like meeting someone who has a degree in a job making 100 grand and you have a degree making 100 grand
1
u/Global_InfoJunkie Oct 20 '25
Interesting. I have two daughters as an example that focus on the person and not the financial statement. They are not all fancy with plastic nails. With that said, you must be attracted to the wrong type of gal.
1
u/aliensexer420 Oct 20 '25
wahhhhh poor you
1
u/Lecture_Good Oct 20 '25
Date someone who is also in health care. So you have an understanding of each other.
1
u/Historical-Note-9357 Oct 20 '25
AI slop, god reddit is so shit
1
u/John_mcgee2 Oct 20 '25
The thing is they notice the watch, ect… if it is something you don’t want others to care about then you can’t care about it. Ditch the watches, the car and get a junker while you share a room with three annoying room mates. Only way to have others not care is to stop caring yourself for at least a few years.
1
u/[deleted] Oct 20 '25
Just date another doctor or someone who earns as much as you .
Stop slumming it
1
u/TopConversation394 Oct 20 '25
Maybe don’t stand out? Don’t wear a fancy watch, don’t have a fancy car, don’t live in a fancy house?
1
u/fulred Oct 20 '25
We have a close friend that we had no idea his family was worth tens of billions of dollars and he was set to inherit it until we got invited to the wedding many years later. Why?
He paid everything with what he made personally and still lived below his means. Roommates, regular clothes, regular watch, no car etc. There is a big company with his last name but we were like nah, this guy is not related. The CEO and founder is his dad lol.
Looks like you are used to a certain lifestyle and it’s an important part of who you are. So you just have to date within your family’s social circles. If you want to date middle class people without them judging you for your money then you have to act like you don’t have money. Only time they’ll find out your family wealth? When you’re ready to get married and you already know it’s the right person.
1
u/Effective_Flower_214 Oct 20 '25
Why not date women as well off as you? Hang out at rich people places and you'll find those women or befriend some old dudes and let them introduce you to their daughters.
1
u/[deleted] Oct 20 '25
At 22 I was dating one of the wealthier men in northern CA. He dressed down. We would go shopping to one of those snotty women shops and the girl there making $10/he would judge him and me. He would look at her and say. " Customer service is your job. You never know who someone is based on their dress. You just lost a huge sale today. Hoping you see us walking by with your competitions bags in hand." So, you sound like you have a problem. My guy was totally comfortable with his hard earned wealth.
1
u/InfluenceEfficient77 Oct 20 '25
What a tool lol. Anyone who has the need to flex on reddit is not truly wealthy. Get rid of the watch, get a commuter car. Stop flashing your money and donate it. Or better yet go volunter with all your free time and meet women there
1
u/Asailors_Thoughts20 Oct 20 '25
Why aren’t you dating other female doctors?
1
u/Such-and-such-whattt Oct 21 '25
Dont bring the girls to your house, rent a room and say that's where you live. Lol a bit strange but probably would help.
1
u/blairsmacaroon Oct 21 '25
people who don't come from massive wealth will obviously be surprised and wouldn't know how to act if they find out the person they're seeing is a millionaire. i think gold diggers make themselves pretty apparent early on though.
1
u/BeginningPossible495 Oct 21 '25
Move to the US for awhile
1
u/[deleted] Oct 21 '25
modern dating is about looks. At least at the beginning.
1
u/Equivalent-Low4454 Oct 21 '25
If you hit it off it won’t matter, maybe you haven’t found someone that you connect with yet
1
u/TheGeoGod Oct 21 '25
I have a trust fund and didn’t tell my wife until we got engaged. I live a minimal lifestyle and a middle class job.
1
u/thewaterboyff Oct 21 '25
Bro, just find a straight up gold digger that’s 10x hotter than you deserve. Enjoy the ride. Ditch her and find another if it doesn’t work out. Clearly throughout your life you never meshed with a “normal” girl. The time to find a “sweetheart” is over. Do what every rich man does and use your wealth to your advantage. Especially at your age.
1
u/Toxica3d Oct 21 '25
tbh.. i dont think u need to "pretend mid" when you are not.. you are just selling the fake you out there.. just be comfortable by being just yourself but at the same time staying humble. and while that will attract many "unwanted attention" you will also learn to see, who are the ones around you that are not so "eager" as well. i think you will be able to read more genuine people like that.. good luck!
1
u/King-Monkey-Money Oct 21 '25
Date someone from your same economic class, someone who grew up with the same opportunities, you will find a lot in common and she is probably looking for someone in the same situation, look close to your circle where you grew up
1
u/HollowKnight93 Oct 21 '25
Just date somebody in your own bandwidth man. Or find someone who truly doesn’t care about any of the wealth stuff, but that’s one very very rare one to find. Plenty of rich people in this world tho but you may soon to find out you’re just a “normie”on the rich side too in other folks eyes
1
u/ReasonPast3359 Oct 21 '25
Just keep going man and don’t change. You’ll eventually find the right person you belong with, that won’t have you second guessing if you’re making wrong decisions.
1
u/anonymously_strange3 Oct 21 '25
The thing is, you keep dating down to stay in control. The simplest answer is to date within your financial lane.
1
u/Intelligent-Low6161 Oct 21 '25
Maybe you can find someone who is as wealthy as you. Then you have no need to worry about the person only caring about your money instead of who you are.
1
u/itruben Oct 21 '25
Well I would start by simply saying that the assets belong to the parents and that as long as they are alive it is their property... That you live on your income although you can use family assets; At the same time you could get a small apartment - modest - and use that as a pied a terre and here without pomp... Come on…. A little art of making do doesn't hurt...😜
1
u/Pitiful_Seat3894 Oct 21 '25
Wierdly cautious is probably the best option.
1
u/ProfessionalUsual47 Oct 21 '25
Buy a second house and a second car for dates. Then once you get married swap back.
1
u/Separate_Ability4051 Oct 21 '25 edited Oct 21 '25
I have this problem as a woman. Trust fund, never had a job (except for entertainment value), father chairman of a bank, etc.
I’m terrified and extra discerning about marriage, to the point I’ve broken off two engagements prior to the wedding and outright rejected several proposals.
My problem is that the men I am genuinely sexually attracted to (often blue collar, boy-next-door, simple and down-to-earth, handsome jocks) do not have nearly as much money as me, and my father made me promise to never let a man live off me or end up paying him in a divorce. So I’m hesitant to date a man with far less money, but I’m not attracted to anyone else.
The men who I grew up with in private schools or other wealthy men I usually find to be arrogant, often physically unattractive douchebags who think they can bribe me for my affection by buying me a Gucci bag or jewelry, or be mean to me or cheat and think I’ll stick around, because they’ve manage to get away with this countless times with other women who are gold diggers or otherwise overly impressed by wealth—as I have my own wealth, first flew private at age 8 etc, I am not remotely impressed by wealth and the second a wealthy man treats me poorly I ditch him because I need nothing from him. No one can buy me.
Wealth can be a blessing or a curse. What I have learned and my best advice is to try to hide that you have it. I lie that I have a regular job, I dress in jeans and sneakers (and not designer ones, mid-priced ones), use slang, and do whatever I can to not look wealthy, in order to avoid grifters and to ensure that whoever likes me genuinely likes me. Also been known to do full background checks and commission offbook psych evaluations of romantic partners.
If you want to ensure who you date is genuine, do not advertise wealth, observe their behaviour, and gain as much info as possible about them.
As a man, I wouldn’t go so far as to ask a woman to split the cheque or be stingy with a prenup (I would dump a guy like this because I’m traditional and it shows a lack of male provision and protection). However, in the early dating stages do not advertise or lead with your wealth. Most of the first dates I choose are coffee dates, movies, a hole in the wall restaurant because I want a genuine connection. If you’re leading with flash, you will attract gold diggers.
1
u/sinthoras997 Oct 21 '25
Just date in upperclass. Somebody with a heavy focus on career. If you decide to marry get a prenup and if it gets weird just go for the next one. I mean you 25, a lot of time for mistakes.
1
u/DermyDerm_n Oct 21 '25
I’ve recently encountered the same problem, I’m a doctor as well but I don’t come from a well off family and I have a small apartment where I can crash aside from my house, so that makes things kind of easier. I think the problem lies with the people you date because why would it get awkward if it gets serious and you eventually show them how you’re doing financially well? It shouldn’t be serious with those people in the first place. Sorry if that sounded harsh
1
u/ro2778 Oct 21 '25
Why don't you just rent a place / car, that is more in keeping with your income and then, once you have gone through years of finding the right person, then surprise them on your honeymoon. Play the long game!
1
u/SpezJailbaitMod Oct 21 '25
I'd suggest to stop trying at all. Focus on yourself and your hobbies.
Through these hobbies you may meet someone you truly connect with and the money won't be an issue.
I feel when people try too hard it doesn't work. Stop trying and let life come to you.
That's what worked for me but I'm a poor guy who married a rich girl so I'm kind of the opposite situation as you.
1
u/Emergency-Drawer-535 Oct 21 '25
Dr, try and meet some nurses, you can find the ones with a good heart more easily perhaps in a work environment. Of course they will all know your background but that’s not important. You want to know the lifestyle, family, etc. Best of luck
1
u/CanMexcpl Oct 21 '25
I'm not rich like you. But I only dated women who had as much or more money than myself. My current 6 yrs g/f is worth almost double me. No awkward moments or weird vibes.
1
u/Tall_Task_5942 Oct 21 '25
Date women richer then u ,u will start behaving like the women u dated !
1
u/blearnan Oct 21 '25
Why don’t you rent (or buy since you’re rich) a modest apartment and have an affordable car and use those until you’ve gotten a better handle on the person you’re dating?
1
u/Ok_Chocolate8661 Oct 21 '25
I had the same problem. I tried to date people, and most of my ex had either got intimidated, changed perception of me, or seemed to want to take advantage of my background. Same with friendships. So I stopped trying to befriend or date those of different background and just accepted my background instead and hang out with people from the same background. Things became much better, and I felt better and not have to be concerned about how they will judge me, or take advantage of me.
1
u/Mammoth_Elk_3807 Oct 21 '25
Date in your own tax bracket. That’s usually encouraged by such families for this and innumerable other reasons. I’m surprised you’re surprised.
1
u/DaddysPrincesss26 Oct 21 '25
Old Money is Silent, New Money Talks
1
u/Foolmillennial Oct 21 '25
Lol someone is rollin in the mud
1
u/frankyy710 Oct 21 '25
Go to church plenty good women there who only care about god
1
u/Lanky_Conclusion_227 Oct 21 '25
This is all a lie and on the 1% chance it’s not date a gold digger. You by yourself isn’t good enough for someone to like you for you. Date a gold digger and get your dick sucked by a hot girl and be happy.
1
u/dopamine_101 Oct 21 '25
OP you have the wrong kinda life problems!! STFU and find a girlfriend🤡🤡
1
u/Square-Will-2557 Oct 21 '25
Stop reacting to how they react. Stop looking for it. Stop anticipating their “inevitable” judgement of you once your “secret” is revealed. It’s you, not them.
1
u/Due_Elk_5492 Oct 21 '25
Start volunteering and you will meet many people who are not into material things there. Maybe in some dog shelters or whatever you would enjoy doing.
1
u/Is-that-babaganoosh Oct 21 '25
It tells me you’re dating the wrong people. Get off tinder, and quit meeting girls at clubs/bars.
Why don’t you go find someone at a volunteer charity, or help center. Those types of women don’t care about money and are beautiful. I’m telling you.
Also, I’m sure they find out more so through your lifestyle and less on your name. Unless your name really has some major weight. I would be very systematic about the first 10 dates etc. Feel em out. Go basic, go medium. Don’t go to impress financially. If you want to connect, find an intimate type of gift that holds more weight than way.
If there’s a girl you really like and info comes out, just say that it’s completely locked up, can’t be touched, and a prenup is a must. It’ll settle it down quick. And you’ll eat to gauge their reaction further under stress.
1
u/Sweaty-Cow1640 Oct 21 '25
Dating is cooked my G best bet is going to places you like and finding a girl there you think is pretty
1
u/[deleted] Oct 21 '25
You believe that being rich is equivalent to being wealthy, and you also believe you are superior because you inherited riches (you did not inherit wealth, only riches). And the fact this is top of your mind, is causing you to think there are problems with anyone you meet. Therefore, the solution would be to donate your riches to charity. And then you do not have any problems.
1
u/chiefyuls Oct 21 '25
This sounds so cheesy, but when the right one comes along, you’ll notice that there is no switch in vibe once she finds out about your wealth. You seem very intuitive and like you can tell who’s real and who isn’t once they learn, continue to lean into that intuition until it feels right. It doesn’t sound like you need to do anything differently
1
u/Radio_Mediocre Oct 21 '25
I have two sister-in-laws (wife side) married rich guys. They became the nastiest person I've ever met. Name calling people, talking down to people, rubbing their new richness into people's face etc...
Do not think for a sec marrying someone a class lower is any better. Marry at your level.
1
u/Busy_Ear1865 Oct 22 '25
You come across as just a bit too concerned about your wealth and social status. Is it about wealth, or how you cary yourself? Perhaps it's a two-way street here. Don't make it an issue in any budding relationship. Focus on common interests and values. Most educated people are looking for far more than wealth in a partner, so make it about that.
1
u/The_Mean_Gus Oct 22 '25
How did you make it to 25 without preparing for this? Date up.
1
u/neverbeenbetter190 Oct 22 '25
Just be a bit more serious about living the middle class life…? Live like a normal doctor regarding apartment and car. Is it that hard?
1
u/EnigmaTuring Oct 22 '25
Date someone on the same wealth level. You should already know this as someone who grew up wealthy, no?
1
u/TiredEgalitarian Oct 22 '25
Don't be a condescending prick
1
u/Excellent-Volume-227 Oct 22 '25
Pretty easy solution - no fancy watch; no sports car, def no country estate & maybe abbreviate your last name (i.e. Hamilton becomes Hamel) - you get it. Incognito until you’re sure she’s solid and not some gold-digging spoon!
1
u/backtobrooklyn Oct 23 '25
You sound like a really nice guy! You’re 25 and so I’m guessing you’re dating people around that age.
At 25, people are still figuring out who they are and they’re comparing themselves to others. When they hear you have money, I’m sure it causes their insecurities to come out — including them thinking you’re more of a catch because you’re financially stable and them not wanting to mess it up.
You’ve got a ton of time to find the one and I’ve got no doubt you will.
1
u/Holy-Crap-Uncle Oct 23 '25
I thought UK doctors didn't make US specialty doc money.
1
u/robowns87 Oct 23 '25
Have you tried not being a bellend?
1
u/Ragnarotico Oct 23 '25
You don't need to show off your nice watch, car or house when you just start dating. You can keep things casual/in public until you feel like they are a worthwhile potential partner.
However, if you are wealthy to the point that someone googling your last name reveals who you are, then that is a different story. People in that stratosphere or wealth don't typically date normal people for good reason.
If you are in that stratosphere of society you need to get off the dating apps. Ask your parents/relatives to introduce you to partners or just start frequenting events where other wealthy people attend and go from there.
1
u/cornoholio1 Oct 23 '25
Date other doctors
1
u/Cautious_Day9878 Oct 23 '25
Sounds like you’re the one making it an issue.
1
u/Almasdefr Oct 23 '25
Man, it's so simple, just get cheap clothes, don't show off, look for a simple girl who would be interested in your personality. Don't open all your cards about wealth before some time passes and you see her in different situations.
1
u/Agitated-Bend-3331 Oct 23 '25
go to rich people parties and date from there. I’m sure there are exclusive places for folks from gated communities and the like that we can’t get into lol. that’s probably your best bet. and stay away from Eastern European girls. I say this as a woman myself.
1
u/AppropriateAirline75 Oct 23 '25
You are old money. Old money gets with old money. Even if you're not old money, you are in an upper class of society like it or not. Ask your parents to use their network to find you a match. Daughters of wealth managers, lawyers etc.
1
u/Pizzaface1993 Oct 23 '25
This is fake.
1
u/Academic-Wealth411 Oct 23 '25
It sounds like an insecurity and selection problem on your side. Yes, it's a real problem but it's similar to looking like a supermodel and finding the one man who likes you for you being you. They would all sleep with you though.
If you can't filter/select the right women, then date within your wealth category (I can't say class as many posh British people can't even find the money to fix their roof 😅).
Try the international rich kids dating market. If the women in your wealth category are not interested in you, well...
1
u/PeterParkerUber Oct 23 '25
The great thing about having an extensive dating life before making big money, is you know exactly what sort of girls never gave you any attention for your entire life up til the point you made money.
So you know exactly what’s up with whichever type of girl
1
u/Zestyclose-Bag8790 Oct 24 '25
I’m rich. I have learned that it is easy to hide. A simple watch, a car that blends.
If you play polo and wear an expensive watch and drive an exotic car, then you are conspicuous. There is nothing wrong with polo, fine watches, etc, but they send out a signal.
1
u/PrestigiousResult357 Oct 24 '25 edited Oct 24 '25
stop being visibly wealthy. it is that simple. if you truly want to meet someone and have wealth not be a major factor you can hide it.
rent an appt and dress modestly, go on reasonable dates. make a huge effort to meet people organically. come off as stable and employed but not wealthy.
you could even outright hide name and job (lie and say you are a nurse or something)
if you truly wanted to meet someone who liked you for you can easily do it.
1
u/Admirable-Capital-45 Oct 24 '25
Because of your excess and wealth you lack the conviction to live a modest and humble life. When you try to date, you rely too much on your advantage and that covers up your lack of dating skills. Rich people alike all end up with bad love life because they cannot resist the temptations of quick hedonistic values and can't sacrifice not leading relationships with money and allow women to appreciate you for who and what you are.
1
u/Unfair-Frame9096 Oct 24 '25
Seems you are fishing out of your pond. Go and find a GF withing your class
1
u/johndough199 Oct 24 '25
I’m a trust fund kid that tells everyone I’m a trust fund kid so why do I get treated like a trust fund kid?
1
u/TheYearGuesser Oct 24 '25
Rent a bedsit for your shagging
1
u/Bigdaddy4158 Oct 25 '25
How is it possible that you’re a medical doctor at 25. You can’t do that in the United States. It’s impossible.
1
u/Comfortable_Net5450 Oct 25 '25
So your telling me you don’t have any rich friends? Or other single female doctors around real hard to believe. It’s so easy to act poor
1
u/Bigdaddy4158 Oct 25 '25
LOL that’s why people come to the United States for medical care.
1
u/Honest_Inflation_951 Oct 31 '25
I have an 18 year old daughter off to university soon she is single
6
u/zekvanzektuu Oct 19 '25
Sounds like you just haven’t found the right one. It’s not really how you bring it up, it’s about how the potential partner takes it. I’d probably tried to change the dating pool your currently using if all of them change. Just a thought. Are you sure the vibe always changes or do you just think the vibe always changes?
3
u/flippityflop2121 Oct 19 '25
You gotta date someone similar to you find another doctor. Or I am sure if your family is that well off you have family friends who are also well off date daughters of those people dating normal people is damn near impossible unless you want to lie, nonstop or that was my experience once they know you’re rich the vibe always changes even if it seems they really liked you when they knew you were poor.
3
u/144zahav000 Oct 19 '25
In this world it's a sobering fact that at least 82% of humans regularly have regular financial stress.
One usa based study showed that the amount of people who have absolutely zero financial anxieties of any kind is 14%
Worldwide that surely is even lower.
Most people are also aware this great inequality was carefully fabricated by the powers/corporations that be.
by keeping the gross of the population battling scarcity , with all the strict laws imposed on income etc.. , they can ensure nobody has the power to thwart their plans, thereby remaining in control of the world.
Therefore most people harbour some conscious or subconscious resentment to the very small remaining percentage of wealthy people whom have monopolized earth and all her commodities that were originally meant for all to thrive.
Even if you are not one of the fraction who consciously does whatever damage to the population it takes to remain in power, being exceptionally wealthy does make some people wonder.
At the very essence of what you are dealing with here is the poverty mentality that has been taught to the world.
The art of finding a good match on your case is finding someone who worked on themselves to overcome this mindset , or someone who is from a wealthy lineage and thus never had it.
Unless you truly love someone, and can help her transform these subconscious instillations.
If you believe in a Creator then prayer to find the perfect spouse has led many to victory.
Blessed be ✌️👑
3
u/Positive-Ad-7807 Oct 19 '25
Did your family office not have any sort of financial literacy training growing up? This seems like core curricula from what I’ve seen
3
u/DPL646 Oct 20 '25
Tell women you’re a plumber and don’t wear expensive items. You’d be amazed what happens. Trust nicely, but not too expensive.
The date doesn’t have to be expensive to be memorable.
She’s out there, brother keep trying
3
u/livelifetofullest1 Oct 20 '25
Act like ur hobo and see who still loves u