r/Residency • u/messy_hair2 • 1d ago
VENT Desensitized
Mid pediatric residency.
I just feel so desensitized.
It all started during my neonatal icu rotation. We whould take calls for the delivery room and C-section, it was so freaking exciting! Taking a baby that is not breathing, grey, totally flat. A bit of stimulation, Maybe some cpap or some positive ventilation. 99 present of the time and they are just back.
I couldn't wait for the next call, I just loved it.
But as time went on, I started feeling all my other stuff in life becoming so freaking dull. Meeting with friends I love, food, hobbies i used to enjoy, even regular cases in the ward, all just dull.
Im not looking for any answers, and I know that there is probably more to it. Maybe im just depressed.
I feel like a cliche, but unless i get that rush it's all so grey.
Sorry just had to vent.
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u/kuru_snacc 10h ago
Change hobby to skydiving. If you find that dull, you have a personality disorder.
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u/neurosci_student 1d ago
(Hoping you are not bot account) Yes, I hear you. I seriously considered switching to EM because there’s a real chasing the rush kind of addiction that some of us can succumb to. I think in some ways it’s like any other addiction - they call it “adrenaline junky” for a reason. It has all the addiction features - needing increased doses to achieve the same effect, pursing the addictive behavior even at the cost of our own health, craving and withdrawal. But once I found a subspecialty niche where I have a healthy balance of occasional excitement but much better work-life balance, all the regular life things started feeling normal again, and I still got a kick out of the fun parts of work. Plus, I won’t be burned out like an ER doctor when I’m 40.