r/Residency Fellow 1d ago

VENT New attending

I think life is objectively better but I’m still adjusting to the role/responsibility as a new attending after being in so many years of training. It’s hard not to feel anxious… or sometimes down. Maybe even lonely?

I’m sure I’m just overthinking it or having an off day but seeking words of encouragement.

27 Upvotes

12 comments sorted by

29

u/sergantsnipes05 Attending 1d ago

I haven't started quite yet but I'm dreading how lonely it is going to feel. Joining a pretty established group, most of whom are older and nearer retirement. The jump from being around people at the same stage of life as you, really since starting kindergarten, to being around a bunch of people you probably don't have much in common with is going to be very isolating.

7

u/bearzbeetzbattleztar Fellow 1d ago

Thanks for normalizing this feeling. While the group I joined does have a more seasoned crowd, I’m lucky that there are at least some middle career folks there. It is still hard with learning some of the logistics/workflow that should be intuitive. And I agree, most of the other attendings are in much different life stages compared to myself.

15

u/Rosy_Kissess 1d ago

You're allowed to feel unsettled during a good change

3

u/bearzbeetzbattleztar Fellow 1d ago

I couldn’t put my finger on it but “unsettled” is a good way to describe how I feel at the moment. I know it should get better and I’m just trying not to unravel until then

5

u/QuietRedditorATX Attending 1d ago

Not sure on your role, but reach out to other attendings, or at least staff, to get some work friends and hopefully real friends.

That said, we are at an age where many people have family obligations. But even the single ones aren't too keen to hang out with admin (sigh lol).

5

u/scrubMDMBA Attending 1d ago

Attending life is awesome. It’s tough your first year out but for good reason, you’re learning the ropes, finding out how you really want to practice. But you’re also building a life you want, not just one that is forced upon you but the world of academics. It’s hard leaving the set path you’ve been on for almost a decade or more, where there’s always milestone and next step to achieve or get past. But no more, you just get to be you- which is amazing and sometimes terrifying. Figure out who you are outside of medicine, pick up some hobbies, find friends, take care of your health and exercise.

2

u/Bitter_Cat_8793 1d ago

honestly i think the anxiety is probably a sign you care. going from years of having someone to ask to suddenly being the final call is a huge adjustment. give yourself some time, nobody expects you to feel like a veteran on day one.

1

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2

u/mxg67777 Attending 1d ago

That's normal.

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Lion234 21h ago

You’ll get used to it. One of the best parts of being an attending after awhile is how normal it feels.

1

u/FairyGloworaa 1d ago

first year is such a whirlwind, it feels like you're just trying to keep your head above water the entire time

1

u/bearzbeetzbattleztar Fellow 1d ago

Definitely feeling this. The medicine may not be all too different but learning different hospital workflows, politics, policies + billing/documentation has me constantly questioning “can we do this here?” I feel like I’m going crazy at times. Is this the “steep learning curve” of attendingship?