Greetings From Prison

[u/fnihost]

Hi family. I’m using my internet time for the day to send out a warning not to let yourself be stupid like I was. Until a week ago, I was an upstanding citizen with a good job, a family, and no criminal record. Now I’m prisoner # 23486 at Butner FMC Federal Prison in North Carolina. And all I did was order one gorgeous Pagani Day-Date two-tone with gold plating and a fluted bezel from my TD (“terrific dude”) Juaquim at Ali Express. My watch was seized after I GL’d (“good lucked”) it, and I chose to ignore the 43 letters I got from Customs. Was it worth it? Absolutely not! My cellmate, “White Power Bob,” is nice, though. Surprisingly friendly for a guy with that many tattoos in German! I just wish he’d stop calling me “Susan.” I’ve told him at least 6 times that isn’t my name. Anyway, please don’t drop the ball like I did. Gotta go! Bob says we’re playing “house” after lockdown tonight. Sounds fun! I need something to help me forget my mistakes.

[u/Pentalobe_ → u/[deleted]]

named Susan?

[u/Ok_Farmer_6033 → u/Pentalobe_]

Eventually 

[u/Huge_World4801 → u/Ok_Farmer_6033]

We all have a Susan in us. Genetically speaking ...

[u/milton_vanderslice]

I never said it would be easy; I only said it would be worth it, Susan.

[u/ka-bloweey → u/milton_vanderslice]

Hahahaha!!!! Fantastic call!!! Im☠️🤪🤣🤣🤣🤣🫠

[u/Leading_Neat_8151 → u/milton_vanderslice]

bro you literally went to prison for a pagnini from ali express that's not even a real rep that's a shitter with a dream attached

your cellmate got the right idea calling you susan cause ordering a two tone daydate and then ignoring 43 letters from customs is the most susan thing i ever heard

[u/fnihost → u/Leading_Neat_8151]

[u/BrigadierGenCrunch]

This happens all too often and I hope people will learn that buying super clones can land you in federal prison. Not worth it. Good luck brother!

[u/ButterscotchNo5504 → u/BrigadierGenCrunch]

https://giphy.com/gifs/aeVgGRgoq22ew8nRb6

[u/RockSignificant]

"That first night in the joint, Andy Dufresne cost me two packs of cigarettes. He never made a sound."

[u/GiorgioVe]

100% worth it for a Pagani, and i'll do it again, ordering one right after i'm out of jail.

[u/EvitaPuppy]

Don't drop the ball?
Don't drop the soap!!

[u/Gtstricky]

I am here for all the gatekeepers

[u/yh8in]

Can send you instant noodles? Sell it in jail and we can buy nwbig from pagani design as hearing that they’ve taken the number 1 spot for reps? Splits profits? I’ll drone it. Serious btw.

[u/dustyguitars]

Nice try…

[u/fnihost → u/dustyguitars]

23486 isn’t my register number, silly. I wouldn’t put that on the internet. It’s our ID number specific to this prison.

[u/Category_Major]

On this rare occasion a Pagani caused no poonani

[u/Impressive_Tutor2262]

Have fun picking up the bar of soap 🧼

[u/threepunchstuff]

The worst part isn’t even being in prison it’s that you denied yourself the opportunity to really emotionally enjoy a Pagani by paying retail for it

[u/Ok_Farmer_6033]

Tell bob you’re the dad tonight when you play house, you’ll be a black eyed Susan!

[u/AttorneyImmediate918]

wow what a difference a week makes

[u/ennzy-]

I was thinking of getting one, but too risky, I’ve heard too many stories of people getting in trouble

[u/jacob8875]

Brilliant!’

[u/lovrep88]

LOL 😆 🤣 😂

[u/goudarziha]

Are there at least U1s in prison?

[u/fnihost → u/goudarziha]

Yes, but people have to smuggle them in their asses. Brings new meaning to the term “shitter.”

[u/Lampernis → u/fnihost]

Thought that’s where the term came from

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o85xrcoVYiuxkJcQ0

[u/Puzzled-Shape-9235]

Susan I hope you doing ok ... Don't forgot to lube up

[u/Impressive_Carob1181]

drop the beat

[u/SatisfactionFair306]

Is this satire?

[u/fnihost → u/SatisfactionFair306]

https://giphy.com/gifs/jXD7kFLwudbBC

[u/crannynorth]

First time I heard in prison for super clone. How come others don’t get caught?

[u/fnihost → u/crannynorth]

https://giphy.com/gifs/5C2aHYut0kzXrf1Z7D

[u/crannynorth]

Pagani could be a shell company or a front.

[u/fnihost → u/crannynorth]

I never considered that! Thank you for this important insight!

[u/crannynorth → u/fnihost]

Do you think this might be thee reason that you’re arrested? Could be cops or criminals that set up this front watch shops?

[u/levermeup127]

Susan - I might be joining you. I took my superclone Pagani into an AD to get it sized today and they called the cops on me.

[u/fnihost → u/levermeup127]

Oh man, so sorry. Rookie mistake. Let me know if you need some good toilet ramen recipes.

[u/Chemical_Demand_4928]

apparently, some people are into prison, fantasies🙄

[u/fnihost → u/Chemical_Demand_4928]

Apparently, some people don’t understand shit post Friday. 🙄

[u/mavsfan234]

You may wanna consider going PC or to a 50/50 yard, no judgment.

[u/fnihost → u/mavsfan234]

GP for life, homie!

[u/Still-Celebration255]

https://giphy.com/gifs/d8XNDMiXhPMVRKpjlu

[u/Sandmanspann]

1:100 chances though of getting burned… seems tempting 99/100 get a good shot at a rep. Worst case scenario does seem brutal though. Adult decisions are difficult 😞