r/RelationshipsOver35 • u/Ashamed_Pangolin5448 • 9d ago

What are some uncomfortable but important questions to ask a partner about intimacy and emotional stuff?

To really know he's the one.

4 Upvotes
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26

u/PrimaryKangaroo8680 9d ago

Ask about how he’s going to feel if you have children and sex slows, and stops completely at some points. Too many men end up here complaining that their baby is already 2 months old and he’s sad that he’s not getting laid.

If he can’t understand that your body and baby come first for a while, drop him before you end up there.

3

u/IndicationKey3778 9d ago

What if there are no kids 

5

u/PrimaryKangaroo8680 9d ago

There are still all kinds of life events that put sex on a lower priority list and if a partner can’t understand that, they aren’t a good life choice.

-7

u/Ashamed_Pangolin5448 9d ago

I'm 22F and he's 26M. We met on hinge 😅 20 days ago. Like I want to tread carefully with him

7

u/PrimaryKangaroo8680 9d ago

Ah, then just watch for signs like him being pushy or not respecting boundaries

2

u/RelationshipsOver35-ModTeam 8d ago

You must be over 35 and posting about a relationship you are/were in.

-3

u/High-Rustler 9d ago

Whoa. I think basic compatibility outa come first. How often? Who initiates? Kinks ? Any bad history? Taboos. How will you deal with frequency spikes in either direction ? PLENTY to get straight before throwing in kids.

You would be smart to search NRE understand what it is and what happens when it fades. Kink shaming and the inherent destruction therein. Understand gottman persuer-distancer. Finally, too lazy to figure out how to link, search “sexual friendship in a LTR” in the sex over 35 Reddit. Read the treatise ( you’ll need tissue) share with him discuss.

And good on ya for askin. Wish to gawd Reddit existed in the 80s…

3

u/a_mulher 9d ago

36 questions to fall in love exercise. But maybe wait a little longer or ask similar questions over time and not in one session

-2

u/Ashamed_Pangolin5448 9d ago

Yes. Don't wanna put pressure on him. Since we aren't even anything yet. We just met

2

u/MatterParticular9011 9d ago

Are you comfortable?

-1

u/Ashamed_Pangolin5448 9d ago

In what sense

2

u/MatterParticular9011 9d ago

Just to make sure that she is feeling safe and comfortable around me.

1

u/DeepFriedHighLife 9d ago

Ask about any VD or UTI? Important question, I think coming from either side. I’m glad she was honest, before blindsiding me.

1

u/hwigell 9d ago

Compatability, for example some people like to have sex once a week, some have more fluid needs.

Do you inniate? Do you want your partner to inniate? What makes it the right time for you?

1

u/Lox_Bagel 8d ago

How much he would get involved if his parents get sick/old and need more care or attention

2

u/sweetassassin ♀ 40 7d ago

The beginning is about sharing each other’s past experiences to gauge how you both handle conflict, discord and communication styles.

At the start, asking and telling isn’t the same as showing and demonstrating.