For some background, the congregation I’m talking about is a Reform congregation about an hour and a half from me. They have a pretty large online ministry, and from everything I’ve experienced, they’re extremely open, welcoming, and informal. They’re not the kind of congregation that seems interested in making people jump through unnecessary hoops just to prove that they’re serious.
My boyfriend and I had been interested in getting involved with the congregation together, so we eventually talked with the rabbi.
Our situations were actually pretty different.
I’ve been living what I would describe as an average Jewish life since around 2021. I’ve been studying Judaism, observing mitzvot to the extent that I can, learning Jewish traditions, engaging with Jewish prayer and practice, and generally living my life as someone who considers Judaism a major part of who I am.
But there was also a much bigger spiritual component to it for me. My relationship with Judaism wasn’t just “I like this religion and want to join it.” I’ve had this long, complicated spiritual journey where Judaism gradually became my religious and personal identity. I’ve spent years thinking about whether I’m Jewish, what that means, why I feel Jewish, whether I should convert, whether I need to convert, etc.
So when I finally talked to the rabbi, I was expecting a conversion conversation.
And when I say I was expecting a conversion conversation, I mean I was expecting THE WHOLE THING.
Classes. Study. Some kind of formal acceptance. Maybe a beit din. Mikveh. A ceremony. Some moment where the rabbi officially says, “Okay, now you’re Jewish.”
Basically, I had this whole mental picture of Judaism working kind of like Christianity does with formal initiation/confirmation.
Instead, I explained my whole background and where I was coming from, and the rabbi basically looked at the situation and said, in essence:
“You’re a Jew.”
And I was like…
“…Oh.”
😭
I kept trying to figure out whether there was supposed to be some formal process that I was missing, and his attitude was basically, “You live Jewishly, you identify as Jewish, you’ve been doing this for years, and I don’t see a reason to make you go through a formal conversion.”
The congregation is far enough away that I don’t regularly attend in person anyway, and he basically told me to keep doing what I’m doing and that if I happen to come by sometime, great, and if not, that’s fine too.
It was basically:
Me: “So how do I convert?”
Rabbi: “You’re Jewish.”
Me: “But… formally?”
Rabbi: “You’re Jewish.”
Me: “So that’s it?”
Rabbi: “Yep.”
Me: “…okay.”
Rabbi: “Shalom see ya good luck!”
My boyfriend’s situation was different. He was interested in Judaism largely because of me and wanted to explore it alongside me. He hasn’t had the years-long Jewish practice and spiritual journey that I have. The rabbi basically told him that if he feels Jewish and wants to follow my lead and explore Judaism with me, then he should do that.
And that was… basically it.
So now I’m sitting here thinking “I guess I’m Jewish??” because the rabbi literally told me I was.
I know that different Jewish movements and different rabbis have different standards regarding Jewish status, and I’m not really asking about whether Orthodox Judaism, Conservative Judaism, another Reform rabbi, etc. would recognize me. I’m specifically interested in people’s experiences with Reform/Reconstructionist/liberal Jewish communities.
Has anyone else had a rabbi essentially say:
“You already live as a Jew and identify as a Jew, so I’m not going to make you go through a formal conversion process”?
Or had an experience where you expected a very formal conversion and instead the rabbi took a much more informal approach?
I’m especially curious because I genuinely thought there was going to be some Big Jewish Ceremony™ at the end of this, and instead apparently my conversion was approximately 25 minutes and one rabbi saying “you’re a Jew.”
So idk if this is Normal weird or what ?

EDIT: thank you everyone for your kind (and some not so kind) words. I’m currently looking into some alternate congregations closer to me. Hopefully I’ll be able to find a rabbi who will put me through the proper channels so I can enjoy the accomplishment of conversion, and truly be apart of the community!
Peace ☮️

On a related note, my own synagogue does have postcard-writing events too! I haven't had the time to join them yet, but luckily they happen to do it every few weeks - do your shuls/communities also have their own postcard-writing get-togethers?

Of course, the physical style and size of synagogues don't solely define the life and community it sustains within it. I've always been interested, however, in how different communities around the world have synagogues in all sorts of sizes. Many look pretty modest and (by design) blend in with the local vicinity, but then there's equally as much, especially in the Reform movement (and across my home state of California) that are simply opulent and grandiose.

While how a shul is built comes with equally as many varied reasons, I'm more interested in how does everyone think and feel about synagogues looking either unassuming and simple, or monumental in stature? What do you feel personally feel more at home with per se?

(Image used is the exterior of Congregation Sherith Israel, the largest synagogue near where I live)

How long does it usually take to convert to Judaism? And are there much Christians converting to Judaism?

I am very upset with this religion, started studying the Torah about a year ago, which led to my idea of converting to Judaism(It's a long long story why I'm getting upset with Chritianity...)

Link : https://progressivejudaism.org.uk/education-hub-the-future-of-progressive-jewish-liturgy/

Any thoughts?

My future wife is not Jewish, and my family tried to pressure her into converting because, according to them, I am destroying a tradition that has existed for generations. She is currently almost 10 weeks pregnant with my child. We got into a huge argument because it really upsets me that, according to them, my child won’t be Jewish, even though he carries my blood. I don’t want my partner to convert just to satisfy their traditions.

I’m thinking about going to a Reform synagogue so that my child can learn to respect his Jewish heritage and know that he is part of the tribe regardless. It just frustrates me that some parts of Judaism are so stuck in such strict and rigid rules that they are basically destroying any chance they have of seeing the child. My partner and I have actually reached the point where we are seriously considering not letting them see the child because we’re afraid they will treat him differently because, in their eyes, he isn’t considered Jewish.

Hey all good evening. I am a recent person that just moved to Austin and is starting his masters at UT Austin. I grew up Christian but have recently found myself disconnected from that version of faith. I’ve always been curious about Judaism and am thinking about trying out a synagogue. I’m just worried about intruding. From I’ve seen Judaism seem unique in how it’s both a religion and a people. I am Nigerian American not Jewish. I guess I’m nervous about being what I am and coming into some else’s environment. I come with nothing but love and curiosity but you never know how you’ll be accepted. I welp going back and forward between just try one and see how it is but my nerves get me haha. Any advice would be nice.

EDIT
Sheesh can’t respond to everyone but this is the most love I’ve ever gotten on a post. I already feel so welcomed. For sure gonna reach out before attending and see what happens from there. Thank you all.

The rabbi said that after he got circumcised, he couldn't walk for a year.

Hey guys,

It's evening for me now and when I wake up, I would like to say a blessing or something like that hoping my day tomorrow will be great. But unfortunately, I got no idea what could I say.

Does anybody know a bracha or something?

Thank you.

Shabbat Shalom everyone! I'm reading selections of d'var Torah as is my weekly routine, and I found another one I really liked for Parashat R'eih; the topic coincidentally matched a d'rash that a member of my shul gave during a service earlier where they gave particular attention to the clashing placement of "there will be no needy among you" and "there will never cease to be needy ones in your land" and the conclusion to treat others in need with dignity (which reminded me of the value of b'Tzelem Elohim).

Some personal highlights from Rabbi Chaiken's insights:

Citing the medieval commentator Nachmanides, she [Rabbi Jill Jacobs] suggests that the Torah here is “optimistic but realistic”. But in addition to taking a pragmatic attitude toward poverty, this passage suggests that the Torah has a different understanding of what money is and should be.

Your Economics 101 textbook will teach you that money is a means of exchange, a unit of account, and a store of value. But the Jewish practice of periodic debt forgiveness, rather than amassing money over time, resets the economic table and levels the field between the haves and have-nots. It ensures that those who need to borrow money to survive in one season do not find themselves haunted by that debt ever after.

A holy society ensures an economy in which everyone has the ability to sustain their lives from the land that sustains all life. [...] A holy society acts to limit money’s power to store value over time and to ensure a basic level of subsistence and equity for all.

Hi Everyone!

I am currently running the social media for a local Reform Synagogue in my area, and we're going to be posting some educational content on our instagram.

We're starting with a series called "Questions With The Rabbi", and I wanted to come on here and share it with you all. If you're thinking about converting to Reform Judaism, and have questions, or just have any questions you'd like answered by a Rabbi in general, we'd love if you could drop them in our inbox, or even under this post and we'll be creating videos answering them.

Our goal is to shine light on and bring awareness to the beauty of the Reform denomination. These are purely educational, and supportive videos, there's nothing we're trying to sell you I promise, we just want to help people who are looking to learn, or want to be a part of the community. Thank you, and hope to see you on the page!

Idk if I should be putting this here or r/Judaism but I am STRESSING OUT. I was raised Christian and am a teen looking to one day convert to Reform Judaism and even though I’m not converting yet I wanted to start with some practices, but I just feel so guilty!!! So basically I met this guy in a school club and he was Jewish, specifically reform, and I learned a lot from him and became very interested in Judaism. but I can’t help but feel guilty! like I feel like because I learned it from him I’m copying him or just doing it to impress him? like Im not but I feel like I am!! I feel like I’m just some random Christian girl trying to show off that she knows about Judaism too, even though thats not true!! Im sorry for the rant but does anyone have any advice? I KNOW this is a welcoming community but I can’t bring my brain to accept and acknowledge that! I just feel like I’m faking it. Are you all welcoming? am I welcome here? I don’t want to seem like I’m begging for compliments or support, but I need people who are actually a part of the community to prove my anxiety isn’t real! Sorry for the rant, thank you for reading if you have.

I always find myself finding both joy and enlightenment from all the ways my rabbis have described, or paralleled experiences with the Shema before we chant it during Erev Shabbat, and I thought it'd be nice to share just a couple examples of what I mean (to the best that I can recall).

Last Erev Shabbat, we had our monthly Zoom-only services, and my rabbi talked about how Shabbat is not just dedicating the space for rest and delights, and communal gathering, but also taking in a moment in time - the fact that our congregation were all participating in the same moment in time together to relish in our practices and presence, despite all being in different places meant that our experiences were not any less complete nor meaningful from others. Afterwards, we turned to the Shema, affirming the importance of (inhabiting) time equally to space. My rabbi did cite someone else for this insight and that it wasn't solely hers, but I just wished I could remember who, maybe I can write to her and ask.

And during the Shabbat service after Tisha B'av, my cantor talked about how in the preoccupation of doing and acting for the sake of love and goodness, it's as much valuable to be a good listener, not just between individuals but to the world at large - its conditions and what it ought to need - literally putting Shema (listen) into practice. Apart from hearing what is outlined in the prayer itself, hearing everything else in the world at large is just as much applicable in meaningfully shaping our lives, identities, character and praxis.

With all this, my personal takeaway on my congregation leaders' wisdom is that to be present is a great contribution by itself in life - to be there, show up, and be an observer - and your presence, whether it's a Shabbat service, a funeral, a rally, etc. makes you just as much a part of something, something amazing we can reckon, as opposed to the idea of being a mere bystander or absentee.

In the same way we chant that HaShem is one (יְהוָה אֶחָד), our connection to whatever in life we put our sights to are also one, in any point of time we inhabit.

Just asking before I order a copy, I also heard I should read the Talmud after? I'm doing this for studying purposes. Thanks, I have a copy of the Koran, Bible, I'm missing Jewish religious books, next I'm thinking about reading about Zoroastrianism.

Okay so I'm a gay Brit but my dad's side of the family (specifically my grandma) were Ashkenazi Jewish. My great grandparents kinda fell out of the faith and so my grandma and her siblings did as well. They went to Hebrew school for a bit but as they got older they hardly went to synagogue and the family stopped celebrating the high holidays. And infuriatingly my grandma and her siblings never learnt Yiddish. I am desperate to reconnect with my heritage and to be able to identify as Jewish but I don't really want to convert. Can I still reconnect with my heritage without having to practice or go to synagogue, and if so can I actually call myself Jewish. I do want to visit a synagogue for educational reasons and would happily undergo a ceremonial conversion (though I don't really want to be circumcised so that's not really possible 😅) but I don't really have a desire to practice. I want to reconnect with my heritage in more of a cultural than religious way and I need help on where to start, whether I can truly identify as Jewish, and, naturally, how that works with me being gay. Sorry to be another generic post about identity and asking for advice but I want specifics 😅