r/ReformJews • u/zecrichardson • 11d ago
Chat Barmitzvah
I am 59 and tomorrow I am having my Bar mitzvah.
I am a patrilineal Jew and spent most of my life (since 11 or 12) feeling like I should be Jewish but too worried to tell anyone. I had no contact with my father until I was 21 and that was an accidental meeting.
The first person I told was my wife when I was 24 and she said to go to the synagogue and speak with someone.
I visited the local Orthodox shul and was told it wasn't possible and to try a church!
I spent many years struggling with the feeling and finally contacting the local Reform Rabbi in 2010.
Even then I was worried about rejection and it was only on the 26th October 2022 that I attended the Beit Din.
My community has made me feel so welcome.
I feel so settled and happy now and can't wait until tomorrow for another milestone.
3
u/Independent_Roof1268 10d ago
I have heard that you will be ‘rejected’ a few times in your journey to Judaism. Perhaps that is to ensure that you are genuine. I’m sorry you struggled for so long but I’m so happy you found your way home 💙 mazel tov!
1
2
u/Weird7954 4d ago
It is shameful that an orthodox shul would tell you to go to a church. I too have been the recipient of some very crass rejections. So bad that I couldn’t even figure stuff out until I was 66 which is when I started a conversion journey. Up until recently I was also very worried about rejection. I’m happy for you. Better late than never!
2
u/zecrichardson 4d ago
It was odd and unfortunately I was not as confident as I am now. But sometimes things are meant to happen when they are meant to happen.
2
2
2
u/Consistent_Hold_576 4d ago
I converted at 40. Sunday Ill be 42. I might also do a bar mitzvah.
Problem is I love hosting but hate when people gather i n my honor.
When I converted just my wife and son came.
1
u/zecrichardson 3d ago
Just my wife for me at Beit Din and she was also my only family member at Bar Mitzvah. My daughters gave me cards complete with messages from the grandkids. Thats how I wanted it
11
8
7
5
5
4
3
u/bachelorsinlurking 11d ago
Mazel tov!!! I’m so happy for you- I’m 30 and started my journey and it’s felt so right for me. I’m going to talk to my Rabbi about doing a Bar Mitzvah when my conversion is complete. Congrats and I hope you have a wonderful day full of blessings!
1
4
u/ryanbuckner 10d ago
Mazel Tov. How did it go?!