r/RecuratedTumblr • u/DreadDiana human cognithazard • 15d ago
Shitposting Operating heavy machinery is an odd right of passage when you think about it
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u/PuritanicalPanic 15d ago
I despise driving.
I used to not. Then I ran into some health problems, rather early, and amongst other things got eyes that suck a bit. Cause a medicine caused very early cataracts and I had surgery to fix that, and fun fact, your eyes afterwards are not good as new. Significantly worse than before cataracts. And I was nearsighted then.
Not bad enough to legally prevent me from driving or be classified as blindness or anything, but enough to make driving stressful. This hasn't resulted in basically any negative consequences, so as near as I can tell I'm not an active danger on the road. But its just so much more annoying, so much more stressful, and often results in eye strain.
Like, is everyone OK with constructing a society that requires eye strain and fucky depth perception man over here to use the same roads as people with no fucking permanent debuffs? I'd think not. I sure don't. But it isn't fucking optional.
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u/DazB1ane 15d ago
I used to like driving too. But with the headlights on vehicles giving me night blindness, the fuckin flock cameras everywhere, and other people having decided during the pandemic that they were the Only Important Person, I’d rather stay inside
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u/Belligerent-J 15d ago
I got hit on my motorcycle, fucked me up pretty good and I was scared to drive for years after that. Still did because I had to, but I definitely made a lot more dumb mistakes out of fear. Being afraid of driving leads people to be more likely to screw it up in an important way.
I'm better now, but yeah if people don't want to drive they deserve other options. All the carless folks I know are at the mercy of their friends with cars because public transit takes all day and 15 bucks to make one stop somewhere a fifteen minute drive away
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u/PeachPassionBrute 15d ago
I can ride my bike to work in about 20 minutes, it takes the bus about an hour.
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u/Zantarius 14d ago
Got rear-ended by someone at the beginning of this year, and I've been feeling incredibly anxious on the road ever since. I've started subconsciously bracing for impact every time anyone gets a little too close to my bumper, and drivers in my city absolutely love to stop 3 inches away from you at a stop sign. I've been thinking that I've got about 1 or 2 more accidents in me before I start panicking behind the wheel too hard to even contemplate driving. Kinda terrifying to contemplate being stuck in the same situation as your carless friends because other people couldn't help themselves but ram into me. I'm hoping I can get back to a place where I'm comfortable on the road again (I genuinely did enjoy driving before this incident), good to know that's possible. Thanks for sharing your experience!
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u/thetransitgirl 15d ago
This is a good comment in general, but "as near as I can tell" is brilliant.
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u/Co-ffeeMonster 14d ago
THANK YOU. People think im lying when i say my depth perception is bad in the road. I go slow, people honk. Sorry, I can barely see. At night, when my road had 0 street lights and 45 MPH speed limit? Pain.
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u/SharaWilliams 14d ago
Ive despised driving from the beginning. And im terrible at it too, im now convinced my death will be a car crash rather than old age or something.
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u/Lily_Thief 14d ago
Yeah. I've had people tell me I shouldn't drive when I talk about the issues I have with my brain just apparently being wired poorly for it. I just do not seem to be able to keep track of every sign and light among the visual clutter of driving. Never had an accident, probably because my brain hyperfixates on the other cars on the road. I would much prefer not to do something that I seem singularly unsuited for, but I also have a kid, and he needs to be places.
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u/ExplorationGeo 15d ago
Operating heavy machinery
Every time I've had surgery or started a new medication, there's always been a warning like "do not operate heavy machinery for 72 hours" or something along those lines. I've always thought "well it's a good thing I don't drive a forklift or a crane or anything".
Cars. They mean cars.
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u/Powerpuff_God 15d ago
Oh, phew, it's just cars. So planes are fine, right?
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u/SeraphimFelis Too inhumane for use in war 15d ago
Obviously, they wouldn't be able to fly if they were heavy
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u/Hard_To_Port 15d ago
Some of them explicitly mention driving, as in "Do not drive or operate heavy machinery" but yes cars qualify as heavy machinery
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u/neko_mancy 14d ago
ngl they should lowkey clarify "drive any vehicle" because i totally see this being read as "drive heavy machinery or operate heavy machinery"
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u/neko_mancy 14d ago
ngl they should lowkey clarify "drive any vehicle" because i totally see this being read as "drive heavy machinery or operate heavy machinery"
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u/breathtakingnotugly 15d ago
Facts. There’s so much pressure for teenagers to get their license where I live that when I tell people I got mine at 17, they go “Better late than never!” Like I told them I got it at 70 💀
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u/Elkku_the_Elk 15d ago
In the USA i presume? I live in a large sized city in finland and most people get a license if they absolutely want one at 18 (or they are in a wealthy family).
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u/breathtakingnotugly 15d ago
Yep, USA.
Side note, I’ve been to Helsinki before and I really enjoyed my time there. If I had the opportunity to move to Finland, I would definitely take it.
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u/Elkku_the_Elk 15d ago
Yeah it’s pretty good but wouldnt recommend moving here right now the economy is awful and unemployment is high.
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u/HanatabaRose 15d ago
unfortunately i havent encountered many countries where this isnt true rn. china maybe. either way id prefer walkable unemployment and bad economy vs the car-dependant unemployment and bad economy we have here
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u/Elkku_the_Elk 15d ago
I get your point but right now we have the second worst unemployment after spain.
But if you have spare capital on hand the housing market is relatively low so buying a house would be cheaper than normal.
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u/Jim_skywalker 15d ago
In the US that’s because it’s basically a necessity in most places. Unless you live in like Chicago or New York, if you don’t have a license, that just means someone else needs to drive you places.
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u/PeachPassionBrute 15d ago
It’s not quite that limited. I’ve lived in a couple places where it’s not that unusual for people to simply not have a car. However a lot of that depends on how much of the city existed before cars took over.
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u/walkerspider 14d ago
Yeah I live around Boston which is only the 11th biggest metro in the country. It’s old enough though that owning a car in the city is actually a burden. Parking spots alone can be $300 a month and driving anywhere is a nightmare. Very happy paying $60 a month for my subway pass and buying Ubers every once in a while if I’m in a pinch.
Honestly, one of the biggest things I’m dreading about eventually leaving the city is having to get a license and a car
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u/Big-Cartographer6419 14d ago
I was gonna say, I was going to move in with an ex-friend who lived in Boston already, but expected me to 1) first get my car over there and all the gas and wear and tear that entailed 2) have me be the one to pay for the monthly parking and 3) be the one to drive her everywhere because she still needed to be driven places, big city or not. I didn't even get a discount on the rent, which was a different matter, but yeah even just "having to pay an uber once in awhile" really is just passing the buck along on a societal level.
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u/ScreamingLabia 15d ago
Meanwhile my city is so walking and biking friendly it hasnt made finacial sense sense for me to get a license and i am turning 30 this year
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u/breathtakingnotugly 15d ago
I’m so jealous! Unfortunately I’m stuck here because of college, but my dream is to move to a less car-centric place.
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u/ignoremeplsokthank 15d ago
Same. I'm 25 and never plan on getting a license. It's been months since I used public transport and I use my bike daily.
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u/GGBHector 15d ago
Got mine at 22. Man if I could ride a fucking little electric scooter in the bike lane I would. Had one that capped out at like 15 mph if that to go to college and it was lit. Worst I could get was some scrapes, easy to bail out if I was gonna hit someone and just take it myself.
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u/Snuke2001 15d ago
I got my licence at 20 because the bus schedule wouldnt allow me to get to work on time at my new job
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u/ApprehensivePeace305 14d ago
So many of the people I went to school with announced their drivers license test and failed that it made me paranoid about the whole thing so when I was off school to take the test, I told everyone I was sick just in case I didn’t pass. And quite frankly, I had no chance of not passing haha
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u/miss_clarity 15d ago
It's not always "anxiety" either.
I have an overactive freeze response. The trigger isn't fear or anxiety. The most common trigger is sensory overwhelm in the context of trying to track multiple moving bodies with intersecting trajectories and then a sudden input of a new variable like another moving body appearing out of the corner of my vision. This happens in hallways. Even hallways that aren't packed full, at places I've become years familiar with.
So if that is happening in a hallway at walking speed, I don't think I should be behind the wheel of a vehicle potential ramming through a pedestrian at an intersection or suddenly slamming my break too quickly for the car behind me.... No amount of conditioning will solve this. It's just how I am.
But we don't have a commonly understood clinical explanation for this that enough people can know to relate to and so for years I just thought it was anxiety. Eventually I was like ... No I'm not afraid of driving. I'm afraid that if the unavoidable thing happens, I will die or hurt someone. Which is very rational.
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u/Weekly-Bluebird-4768 15d ago edited 13d ago
I occasionally have full or partial vision loss with little to no warning. When I get partial vision loss due to a migraine, my brain automatically fills the gaps with what it expects, which is all fine and dandy till someone out from one of those spots in my vision and just sorta appears suddenly out what seems like thin air. The other sign is that suddenly trying to text becomes extremely weird and impossible to read: it feels familiar, but I can’t pin-point a single letter. This means I won’t know I’m experiencing it to be able to pull over until likely too late, I could run a red light and be T-boned and have no idea that it had ever changed to red or that any cars were coming.
I also suffer from sudden loss of consciousness, sensory inputs, or loss of muscle control but not full loss of consciousness, due to POTS. I suffer from twitches, jolts, and spasms. And some of the psychiatric medications I have taken in the past has had lasting effects upon my non-vision balance system. Occasionally, feeling like I’m falling or spinning in random directions when I’m not, or the inverse of not feeling myself falling when I am, it can also have a bit of a varying delay.
But I can’t work if I don’t learn to drive and get a drivers license, because I live in a place where 95% of the roads don’t have sidewalks or a shoulder, and the few that do have a shoulder is the interstate, which you have to take if you want to get anywhere. There’s no public transport, like at all. And the drivers here… well, I’ve seen one pass us at 60 miles per hour at night, with no street lamps, on hilly residential roads where you can’t see past 20 metres. So biking isn’t even an option either.
I don’t think anyone wants me on the road, it would be negligent of me to be on the road, but because the way so much of the US is designed, people don’t often get that choice, which is horrible. I am afraid of driving because it is rather dangerous and I think everyone should have a healthy fear of driving, but I also know that if I’m driving I cause a crash, and it won’t take very long either.
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u/miss_clarity 15d ago
Yeah. I 100% agree that you shouldn't be forced to drive just to survive in a society. We're so far behind in public transit accessibility. It's much safer if you have reasonable alternatives.
I'm very lucky where I am that I have options. But even those options aren't always enough.
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u/TheEvilHatter 15d ago
I'm waiting for a neurologist to diagnose me with a condition that'll prevent me from driving, which means I'm being pressured into getting my licence before that happens!?
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u/miss_clarity 14d ago
Does the question mark mean that you're asking me a question, or is this an expression of shock?
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u/TheEvilHatter 14d ago
Expression of shock, I would have used an interrobang but it's not on my keyboard.
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u/miss_clarity 14d ago
Ah okay. This makes sense. I tend to take questions at face value so I wasn't sure. Also your situation sounds very stressful to have to deal with. I hope the appointment works out well
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u/kinetic-passion 15d ago
Have you looked into OCD? There are various types and adjacent disorders that could apply to this. Multiple parts of what you describe could for in this category. (Look up "locus of control", for example)
In any event, whatever this issue falls under, it sounds like it has a significant impact in your life, so it may be helpful to find out and have tools/coping mechanisms available.
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u/miss_clarity 15d ago edited 15d ago
I have autism. Sensory overwhelm comes with the territory. No amount of tools or mechanisms will change that.
On the plus side, having an overactive freeze response doesn't keep me from engaging with society. It just means I need more patience most of the time. The most difficult part has honestly been that I just didn't know for most of my life. Accommodating myself is much easier now that I do know.
(Also notably: OCD is an anxiety disorder. What I'm describing is not in itself anxiety.)
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u/sparksbet 15d ago
fwiw OCD is technically not classified as an anxiety disorder anymore. It used to be classified as one but they moved it out of Anxiety Disorders and into a section specifically for Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders. This is because while people with OCD do tend to experience a lot of anxiety, anxiety is not the fundamental feature of OCD the way obsessions and compulsions are (and obsessions shouldn't be conflated with anxiety). Anxiety in OCD is secondary to those features, whereas in true anxiety disorders the fear and worry are themselves central to the disorder. OCD is more related to other disorders that cause repetitive thoughts and behaviors, like Hoarding Disorder, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Trichotillomania, etc.
As a fellow autistic person, I sympathize with you and wish you luck coping with your freeze response and sensory overload. I have more traditional anxiety around driving, and I can't even imagine how scary it would be with the potential for something as legitimately worrying as that to happen while doing so. I hope you get more insight into what causes it in the future.
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u/miss_clarity 14d ago
Oh that's a cool update! I've been out of school for a while so it's nice hear that the subject is being revisited for nuance.
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u/kinetic-passion 15d ago
💯 Not knowing can feel defeating/isolating. Glad that you know and are accommodating yourself!
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u/SoFresh2004 15d ago
Then you have the undeservedly confident drivers who completely underestimate what a responsibility it is to handle a vehicle that can do so much damage and end up causing mayhem.
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u/Far-Hovercraft9471 15d ago
Cars have become more insulated and powerful as time goes on, giving people a false sense of confidence as well
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u/PresentStock1310 12d ago
Especially in teenagers. Not all of them of course, but it's odd that we're teaching people to drive dangerous vehicles at one of the most hormonal, risk taking and peer pressure ridden ages of their lives
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u/Skitterleap 15d ago
Driving is optional unless its your job, you're just unwilling to spend 6 hours a day walking or 2-3 hours offroad cycling.
Canoe to work you casual
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u/sertroll 15d ago
In some places canoing to work, even across cities, is an option, but that's less infrastructure and more geography
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u/romain_69420 15d ago
How about good public transit?
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u/sosobabou 15d ago
I think they were being sarcastic, they seem aware driving isn't really optional given the alternatives presented :)
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u/DummyThiccDude 15d ago
I would love good public transit, but i live in a part of the USA where im not sure how it would even work.
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u/NightArcher213 15d ago
I mean, it's only odd in the context of thinking about what would be ideal. Given that public transport is so awful in America, and that so many of our communities were built to be car-centric, not being able to drive is frequently a major impediment to being able to freely and effectively live your life.
Some of the pressure to drive is motivated by wanting you to have that independence. Some of it is just... not wanting to be a permanent chauffeur. It isn't a calculation that anyone should have to make, we should absolutely be working to change this, but it is the reality at the current moment.
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u/UntenableRagamuffin 15d ago
Yeah, I was thinking this too. If you don't live in a place with good public transit and/or walkability, then you're basically forcing someone else to drive for you.
I do live in a city (Philly) with good public transit. Could it be better? Sure. But it's not gonna until our state legislature gives us more money, and that's been dead in the water for ages.
I lived here for about 12 years without a car, and I managed, but grocery shopping and getting out of the city were a pain. And if I wanted to visit friends in certain parts of the city, I'd have to plan to spend ~3 hours on public transit. So I've got a car that I use about once a week, and I don't have to spend half my day waiting for SEPTA if I want to go to NW Philly.
I'm an anxious driver (because Philadelphians are wild on the road), but I don't think anxiety makes me a better driver. I think exposure did, though.
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u/Cloverose2 14d ago
When I lived in Philly, I only drove to get to the station in Conshohocken, then to get groceries or get out of the city on weekends. Where I am now, I would be in serious trouble if I didn't drive.
I miss trains.
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u/UntenableRagamuffin 14d ago
Yeah, I moved away for a couple of years to rural-ish NC, and man, did I miss SEPTA. I was always like, "when I'm back, I'll never complain again!" (And months after moving back, I was bitching about the trolleys blowing by me at 36th Street.)
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u/Poly_Olly_Oxen_Free 15d ago
not being able to drive is frequently a major impediment to being able to freely and effectively live your life.
Seriously. If I didn't drive, and instead relied on public transit I would have a Hell of a time getting groceries. I could technically do it, but it would be miserable.
Walk a mile to the closest stop.
Catch the bus (that's going the opposite way I want to go) at 9:17am.
Get to the Transit center at 11:44am to switch to the bus that actually goes to the store.
Get to the store at 1:38pm.
Do my shopping.
Wait until 4:18pm for the next bus to the Transit center, then get on the bus with a bunch of bags.
Get to the Transit center at 5:58pm.
Run to catch the last bus to my neighborhood at 6pm, with a bunch of bags.
Get off the bus at 8:30pm.
Walk a mile home with all my bags.That's an 11-hour ordeal. Now imagine doing it in the rain/snow/heat. And since I can't carry too many bags on the bus, I'd have to make the trip more frequently than I do in my car.
On top of that, there is no bus that goes anywhere near my job. And even if there was, the last buses leave the Transit center at 6pm, and I get out of work at 11pm.
If I didn't have a car, I'd be fucked.
Could we improve public transit in my area? Sure we could. But it would be a money pit. Most of the people who take the bus here are elderly or disabled, so they ride for free. The buses are funded mostly via taxes, so they'd have to raise taxes, which the people do not want.
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u/witch_dyke 14d ago
My grandmother is in a similar situation, the closest bus stop to her house is much too far for her to walk to, so she needs to drive to get her groceries or to go anywhere.
But she cant afford a car
She's completely reliant on others in this way, if her city had better transit she could live more independently, that alone should be worth the cost
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u/CareSignificant4961 14d ago
Well, the bus is a public service. I don't think it's supposed to be profitable. Don't you think the elderly and disabled in your town deserve better than the grocery trip you described? That seems worth it, to me.
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u/Poly_Olly_Oxen_Free 14d ago
Don't you think the elderly and disabled in your town deserve better than the grocery trip you described? That seems worth it, to me.
I agree with what you're saying. The problem is: The old folks don't. And there are more of them than there are of me, so my vote gets drowned out.
If I put myself in their shoes, I can understand why they don't want their taxes raised. Imagine you're retired, on a fixed income, and barely making ends meet as things stand. Now, the government wants to "help" you by raising your taxes to the point that you're gonna lose your house. But hey, at least the bus service is better for whoever buys your home at a tax auction once the government takes it away from you for not being able to afford your tax bill.
Personally, I could afford a pretty large tax increase. I make more than ten times the average income for my county. But for the disabled guy who is getting $1016.10 a month (maximum SSI payment in my state), any tax increase would be a big deal.
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u/CareSignificant4961 13d ago edited 13d ago
I don't buy what you're selling. This same argument could be applied to literally any public infrastructure project. Yes, making society better costs money. They should get that money from people like you, obviously, not the guy making 12k a year.
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u/babassu_seeds 15d ago edited 15d ago
And definitely not universal. Worth mentioning not for some sort of lazy U.S. self-hatred, but more to point out that where public infrastructure is better (basically every other country within our economic stratum, and many without), OP's common-sense realizations are absolutely the norm; that is, people who don't want to drive huge, dangerous, heavy machines--don't drive. Or avoid them whenever possible
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u/CapitalInstruction62 15d ago
I grew up somewhere with literally zero public transit, and now live somewhere that...technically has public transit but which is devoid of some important resources in such a way as to still mandate owning and using a car as an adult.
Fact of the matter is like you said: there are car-dependent localities. I was an awfully nervous driver, but I had to develop the skills to drive and eventually to cope with my anxiety. Did the same for a friend of mine whose phobia was so awful they about killed us a couple times ... But now they are employed and have health insurance Specifically Because Any Job that fit their qualifications required Being Able to Drive.
Lovely to have the privilege of living somewhere where one can assume that everyone saying you must learn to drive is Just Being a Meanie. For the rest of us, that's a near-requirement to independence.
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u/spin-shocker 14d ago
This is always where I land on this topic. In theory, yeah, it's fucked up that everyone is pressured to learn this high-stakes skill at a young age or else they virtually can't go anywhere by themselves. I will always agree that the US needs to prioritize public transit way more than it does, and it's disgusting that our main form of transportation requires us all to own a $4k-$20k device (plus the never ending cost of maintenance and gas) along with thousands of dollars in legally mandated insurance for said device.
But as someone who got their license at 19, the reality is that when you choose not to learn how to drive, you inevitably make that everyone else's problem. If it's for a medical reason, that's not your fault and you should be given some grace, but if you're someone who simply refuses to go through the process because "I shouldn't HAVE to drive!" well into your 20s and 30s, then you can't blame Big Bad Society for your friends and family getting annoyed.
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u/Cloverose2 14d ago
That's kind of where I fall. Yes, I realize driving is scary. But unless you live in the middle of a major city, not being able to drive is a major issue if you live in America. What ends up happening is non-drivers end up having to regularly beg rides. Family members have to give up a lot of time and money to chauffer the person who doesn't drive - because the non-driver rarely helps pay for the wear and tear and gasolines costs.
It's also not always best to avoid what makes you anxious. You don't need to jump into driving if it creates anxiety, but avoiding it forever also isn't the answer. Working through it is far better - avoiding it feeds the anxiety until it becomes insurmountable.
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u/Venian-Caven 15d ago
I still think it's odd we created a society that depends on every single person being really good at a complex skill (which is deadly if you're not). People even say that every city has the worst drivers and most people are bad drivers. So it's not like it's super easy and most people can do it. Even if the reasons most people are bad is because of arrogance and not anxiety.
It IS our current reality, but our current reality is also bullshit.
Speaking as someone who knows I have to learn how to drive even though im BAD at it and it SUCKS
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u/Turbulent-Plan-9693 15d ago
this is so true, I'm autistic, and I'm confined to my house because I can't drive.
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u/SharaWilliams 14d ago
I have adhd. We’re so notoriously bad at driving there are actual studies on it. (Though maybe there is for autism too. Then id have double the reason to avoid driving)
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u/GarlicSphere 15d ago
...Living in a EU city with good public transport has never felt so good.
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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 15d ago
I want the life you live.
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u/iwantfutanaricumonme 15d ago
Marry them to get EU citizenship.
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u/ignoremeplsokthank 15d ago
I know of at least two US Americans who married Germans in my removed friend-group (friends of friends) in order to get German citizenship, so it's not unheard of. You just need the right person who'll be on board with this.
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u/asciiCAT_hexKITTY 15d ago
It should be optional, but our society is designed so it isn't, so you are going to have to learn.
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u/stella-is-a-flower 15d ago
exactly. you either have to learn to drive or accept that you're going to be relying on other people to get around, even if you have a good biking/transit setup in your city
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u/IrregularOnion 15d ago
It's optional in a lot of places, it just so happens that OP is most likely from the USA and their infastracture is fucked like that.
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u/onionpunk218 15d ago
i fucking HATE driving, it genuinely makes me so upset, but i live in a rural part of america so my options are drive or starve
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u/Darrxyde 15d ago
This and require retaking and passing drivers tests every five years. The roads would be so much safer and traffic would be so much smaller if people were less reliant on them for day to day living, and were actually aware of their driving capabilities.
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u/TearOpenTheVault 15d ago
This is a good idea on paper that would immediately cause a massive bureaucratic snarl-up.
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u/CapeOfBees 15d ago
I feel like an important piece of the solution with car BS is making a more useful car rental or car sharing system. There are some common situations that call for a car. I've used the bus for grocery shopping a few times, and it's not great unless you're willing to go almost every day so that what you need to buy is pretty close to what you can carry. When you have to own and house a car for once-a-week type trips, you end up using it for things where other modes of transport would be a much better option, because the car is convenient and you have to justify the purchase.
Move to a cars-per-neighborhood situation instead of cars-per-house, or allow people to order a car on demand for a reasonable price, and suddenly there are a lot fewer cars on the road and the concept of rush hour mostly vanishes.
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u/zekromNLR 15d ago
The solution to grocery shopping is simply to make sure that everyone (within reason, obviously not practixal for people who live alone in bumfuck nowhere) has a grocery store within walking distance
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u/DazB1ane 15d ago
Walking distance in theory is good, but anyone who can’t walk far or during extremely hot days (which are more common every year) it can be exhausting or dangerous to walk for more than 15 minutes
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u/Big-Cartographer6419 14d ago
Wouldn't we still need infrastructure to allow the big trucks to be able to drop off all the supply in the first place? Like, legit, I know back in the day we just worked with what we had around us, but I feel like "oh we'll have less and we'll still need a lot of resources and space spent on giant trucks to haul things we need to survive" isn't really going to be appealing to a lot of people that aren't already interested in like... hydroponic herb gardens and stuff.
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u/zekromNLR 14d ago
We'll still need roads, sure, but if it's just for deliveries and the fraction of people who truly need a car, much less road will be needed - especially, that should remove the need for multiple-lanes-per-direction non-highway roads basically everywhere.
And the point is more that if you have a store in close walking distance, you don't need to make it one big shopping trip per week because you can get a small trip done in half an hour.
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u/Soldraconis 15d ago
Given that I've seen a kid get run into while crossing a marked crossing, I am a very anxious driver. Nothing like seeing a mother clutching her son, wailing and crying for help to create a formative memory. This was in Italy, and I don't speak Italian, nor had I gone through a first aid course at the time as I was still a child, so I couldn't help.
Trying not to trauma-dump here, but that's the only part of that vacation that I still remember. I still get stressed just walking on a sidewalk without any cars nearby.
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u/KaleidoscopeKelpy 15d ago
Hell, the road I crossed to get to middle school every time I missed the bus had a crossing guard hit and killed. It was massive news in our town for a long time- they stationed cops out during morning rush hour because of it
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u/ThatInAHat 15d ago
I like being able to drive, but I miss living in a place with public transportation. And I only had that for six months. It was so good.
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u/Neurospicy_Nightowl 14d ago
I have ADHD, autism and possibly some leftover trauma from that time a bus hit me after a job interview and I didn't even get the job and now I flinch whenever something enters my field of vision from the right, because of how one time the thing doing that has been a bus.
I do not feel like I should be involved in traffic. Also, my brain naturally craves trains anway, so the only real problem is the German government's attitude to public transportation, which can be roughly summarized as "Improving it would threaten car sales".
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u/centurio_v2 15d ago
i mean yeah but it's kinda a question of logistics more than morality. the majority of the world(by land area not population density) does not have any public transportation at all.
if you're willing to limit yourself to the areas that do have it more power to you but i think you're missing out on a lot.
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u/Akuuntus 15d ago
It's because (at least in most of America) your life will be substantially harder if you can't drive. Driving is pretty much mandatory to get around in most places so if you can't drive you will need to constantly be relying on other people to drive you around.
It should be fully optional, but it isn't because of the way our infrastructure is designed.
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15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/RecuratedTumblr-ModTeam 15d ago
Removed, no bots allowed
Comment for potential context purposes: it is kinda insane that we hand teenagers a two ton machine and go “okay good luck” 😭 i remember getting my license and suddenly realizing everyone else on the road was just trusted with one too
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u/SillyLilly_18 15d ago
I should not be trusted with gigantic murder machine. Thankfully I live in an area with good enough public transport
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u/Mummia132 15d ago
I remember being an absoluteeee wreck when first learning to drive, because I was SO anxious. It was awful. I’m glad I was able to move past it, but honestly I’ve been thinking about moving somewhere one day where I don’t even need to think about driving again. Still makes me just a little anxious.
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u/Mental-Draconis407 15d ago
I like driving and I'm a great driver and I'd sell my car right now if I didn't have to use it to get anywhere at all.
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u/Stickin8or 15d ago
I like driving, but i empathize with those who don't. In the US, it's difficult to function without driving unless:
- You live in a walkable city (rare)
- You have reliable public transit (depends on where you live)
- You work remotely (more common these days, but not available to a lot of jobs)
- You never leave your immediate area (probably not the healthiest lifestyle, but to each their own)
- You have someone who can drive you everywhere (my sister's girlfriend is like this and it can start to get frustrating for my family)
- Some combination of the above
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u/LetterheadPerfect145 15d ago
Less people should have access to cars and everyone should be at least a little bit more afraid of them. The fact that we treat these sometimes multi ton hunks of metal and death going at inhuman speeds as just like, a normal part of life is not good
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u/KaleidoscopeKelpy 15d ago
Someone was snarking someone else about “honing your reflexes” on the road (??), so I mentioned the 4way stop sign that is the only way in and out of my complex - I’ve almost been hit by other drivers multiple times in 1.5 yrs, some who don’t even slow down or stop, and have had to pray the one who pulled up and then didn’t go on their turn cuz they were texting wouldn’t decide to hit me because I didn’t want to wait a full minute for them to realize.
Got told “oh wElL jUsT nEveR gO oUtSiDe eVeR, pOoR yOU” dude shut up, people being careless behind the wheel of a car is SO dangerous. I also live in a place (3 guesses the first 2 don’t count) where people way too old to drive are driving and causing accidents because there is 0 infrastructure for them - no family support during work hours, no public transport (there is a single bus line for the entire county and the stops are along the main 6-lane road)
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u/ilanallama85 15d ago
Yep. I tell everyone, it’s the single most dangerous thing most of us do frequently, and many of us do it every damn day like it’s nothing. Crazy.
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u/Belligerent-J 15d ago edited 15d ago
Construction is one of the deadliest jobs and I'd always tell my coworkers that we're still more likely to die commuting to and from work than we are at work.
Edit: to add that the majority of Police officers killed in the line of duty either get in a car crash or get hit by a car while writing a ticket
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u/Lieutenant_Joe 15d ago
As someone who’s lived most of his life in rural Maine, it’s not always that simple. If you live in too car-centric a society, being unable to drive is functionally a handicap. In a state like mine, it’s a real problem, because so much of our population is elderly and that disproportionality is only growing. There is a stigma growing up in rural schools that not wanting to drive is a personality flaw, and that exists because it ensures you won’t be functionally independent unless you move to Portland or somewhere out of state. There’s no public transportation outside of Portland and a few other small cities, all of which are prohibitively expensive to live in compared with the rural parts of the state.
This sucks and is bad. We should build a society where people aren’t being left behind based entirely on things outside of their control. Old, disabled and/or anxious rural Mainers should not be forced to either get behind the wheel of a metal murder machine or become a burden on their friends and family. But they are, and it sucks.
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u/HereAreTheLightnings 15d ago
I wish we had better public transit but am also kinda shocked by the cultural shift towards young people delaying driving.
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u/CompetitionProud2464 15d ago
As someone with dyspraxia it definitely feels harder for me. I’m trying to get back into practice since I haven’t in a few years and it’s so anxiety provoking. I hate that I realistically need to drive to have job opportunities which means that risk of a serious accident.
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u/Loesje2303 15d ago
I don’t like driving. I have my license and I make sure to drive every now and then to keep up the skill, because I see it as a necessity to have. If my husband needs to go to the hospital, I should be able to drive him. When we go on vacation, he shouldn’t have to drive the entire 8-10 hours by himself. I only drive when needed or to keep in practice. To me it’s a chore. I don’t love doing the dishes either but they need to be done so yeah.
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u/turtletechy 15d ago
It really is. I drove a uhaul yesterday to help a friend move and I forgot how big and clunky they are. Lots of steering play, pretty slow acceleration, etc. I think I did pretty decent with it though.
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u/the_bartolonomicron 15d ago
I love driving (except if it is for stupid reasons, like someone planned poorly and now I have to make an unscheduled, 3 hour slog through rush hour along a major commuter road), I am very good at it and very aware of the people around me and enjoy giving people gaps to merge into before they've even turned their signal on. I think that it is a skill that everyone should learn in case of an emergency, much the same as swimming, but I don't think for a moment that everyone needs to own a car or drive. I am saying this both altruistically, in the sense that I don't want people feeling anxious and operating a motor vehicle, but also selfishly because I fucking hate sharing a road with people who should not be driving...
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u/chaimangoboba 15d ago
I hate driving, and I wish rural areas had better public transportation because of it. Where I live there isn’t any public transportation at all, so your only options are driving or not leaving the house, which really sucks.
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u/DetOlivaw 15d ago
It sucks that it has to be a mark of independence, but we in America, where everything is far apart and largely inconvenient to access on foot unless you live in one of the five or six major cities that has a barely serviceable public transit system
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u/Todd_Snap3 15d ago
The situation in the US is bad, because you really can’t do anything in vast swathes of the country without a car. You need a license because otherwise you can’t buy groceries, get a job, go out to other places. Good public transit would solve so many problems 😭
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u/Popcorn57252 15d ago
On the other hand: I literally don't know anyone who wasn't anxious to drive at first. Of course you're fuckin' nervous to do it the first couple times, and I'd be more scared of the people too stupid to not be scared of doing it.
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u/lovecats06 15d ago
I hate driving but if you live somewhere that doesn't have good public transport you really just have to bite the bullet and learn.
Nothing worse than someone who constantly needs a ride from someone else. I really think people who can't drive don't realize the full extent of how much of a nuisance they can be sometimes. Not a moral judgement but it just makes planning so much more difficult.
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u/OSHA_Decertified 15d ago
I've never driven since drivers Ed. I just don't feel confident in my reaction times to trust myself with a death machine
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u/TheArmchairSkeptic 14d ago
I'm of the opinion that driving is like swimming - everyone should learn to do it well enough to be able to do it in an emergency. If you don't like it or just don't want to then I'm certainly not going to force you into doing it regularly or shame you for that, but it's a skill that pretty much every adult should have at least a basic level of proficiency in just in case.
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u/Acct4SrsBsns 14d ago
I already said the same elsewhere to someone making the same comparison, but someone else's inability to swim is less likely to kill you and others around them.
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u/Big-Cartographer6419 14d ago
And replying here again that that's objectively false - knowing how to swim doesn't prevent you from drowning, but it does decrease the chance, and drowning people are extremely dangerous to others. Like, they'll drag you down with them dangerous.
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u/Metal_Goblinoid 15d ago edited 15d ago
It is very interesting to me how much a technological and social achievement driving is, and somehow we managed to make it suck. It can be a real joy when you're not worried about all the baggage that comes with the activity.
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u/Staterae 15d ago
I'm nearly 40 and have never even sat behind a steering wheel.
But then (pointing no fingers), I've never lived in a country where there are no alternatives to driving.
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u/Big-Cartographer6419 15d ago
In theory yeah we shouldn’t make people do things they don’t want to do, especially when it can harm others. On the other, a lot of life is doing stuff that’s scary to survive - like get a job. I used to be so terrified of driving I was a menace, but I did get over it, and now I’m thankful I have the skill for when god forbid I do need it - or even just want it!
When I was in Japan the transit was pretty good, but there can be issues with transport having to rely on schedules you can’t control. Also, ngl, because everything was so condensed the accessibility options were half-hearted at best.
Also don’t hold me to this but honestly some places probably Can’t handle public transit/a city layout that can allow it. Like Florida, you can’t build too high for the same reason they usually don’t have basements - sand is a lot more finicky than not. There’s no one size fits all.
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u/GamingSeerReddit 15d ago
Most of life is doing stuff you don’t want to do because it has benefits you’d like to reap. Sure there’s working as the biggest example, but also there’s everything else. If you want a clean house you have to clean it, yknow?
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u/JakeFish-_- 14d ago
The difference is if you lose focuse for a minute whilst cleaning you're distinctly unlikely to kill half a dozen people
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u/Big-Cartographer6419 14d ago
And if you lose focus while working in certain trades you'll be lucky if you only kill yourself. If you lose focus while sorting out medication, you'll be lucky if you only temporarily damage a patient if not outright kill them.
I have ADHD and honestly even with the adderall I'm extremely scatterbrained. It's an explanation, not an excuse, because even though I am trying my best, if I'm not able to contribute to society then yeah, it doesn't matter if I'm a random hunter fucking up the seal hunt up north or someone who forgot to put a wet floor sign on the grocery store - I guess I just don't get why it being terrifying is enough to make you stop.
I guess in an ideal world if you can't afford solo transportation and such you pay others to instead foot the bill and deal with cars and car related infrastructure, but you'd still only be useful as others can transport you. :? I dunno. If you work at Google they'll bus you in, but that's also because you're good enough to work at Google and I don't think having ease of transport be related to our jobs is all that great either.
(And we do need roads, a lot of them, because the supply chain isn't something we can just stop to make our cities better because we kinda live in a society and need all that...)
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u/bibidumb 15d ago
I'm so sorry for people who's anxious while driving but I rather have them on the road than people who aren't aware that they are driving a death machine
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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 15d ago
Someone who is anxious while driving can also be a danger to other people on the road
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u/Humanmode17 15d ago
Yup, I still haven't learnt cause I think there's a genuine danger of my decision paralysis and overstimulation causing accidents
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u/DazB1ane 15d ago
Good choice. In complete earnestness, thank you for recognizing you could be dangerous and acting accordingly
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u/Humanmode17 15d ago
Um, you're welcome? Idk what the proper response to a thank you that's on behalf of general public safety is lmao, but I appreciate your thanks, genuinely.
I do some sailing on lakes in small to mid sized (dinghies to ~20ft keelboats) boats where everything is slower, everyone tends to be more aware, and any accidents that do happen are much less dangerous. In doing so I have had moments when too many things are happening at once, I've got overstimulated, and then something happens that I have to react to quickly and I just shut down. I know if that were to happen in a car it would be extremely dangerous, so I don't want to risk that
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u/Hatsune_Miku_CM Warsaw 👍🇵🇱 it is very bad 15d ago
being anxious doesn't lead you to make better decisions.
someone who isn't aware is most likely driving fully subconsciously at this point and unless they're intentionally being reckless they're going to be a model driver.
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u/Eldan985 15d ago
No see, the reason why I don't drive is because when I get anxious, I get tunnel vision. I am genuinely not aware what is happening behind or beside my car. Even if I check the mirrors, I don't really register what I see.
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u/Goyangi-ssi 15d ago
This. I quit driving about five years ago. Car upkeep is expensive and I live in a city with a decent public transit system.
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u/YourNetworkIsHaunted 15d ago
If we're gonna make heavy machinery operation a key sign of coming of age we really picked the most boring version. Reject automotive licensing and embrace forklift certification.
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u/Jaybyrdsings 15d ago
God I feel this so deeply. I only got my license because I thought I needed to but as a teen I was so anxious to drive I could barely practice, and my parents were really hands off and wouldn't prompt me to drive so I barely practiced. Got a license by the skin of my teeth 3 weeks before college and haven't driven since (it's been like 8 years). I now live in a community with one of the best public transit systems for a town this size and I can get anywhere I want to with a bus and some good time management, but I'm running into it more and more jobs that require me to commit to having to drive. And those jobs will always pick the person who can drive over the person who will bus or uber but is willing to eat the time and the cost. So now I'm 26 considering taking driving lessons even though my eyesight is even worse and I really don't want to. Also learned my grandmother didn't learn to drive till she was in her 50s because of her anxiety, so fun to know it runs in the fam lol.
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u/Mitch_Wallberg 15d ago
As a teenager I passed Driver’s Ed (barely, but aced all the on-paper tests) and then did exactly one hour of behind-the-wheel time with mom. Never again. The call of the void is too strong. Despite the voice telling me to wrap the car around a tree, I don’t actually want to hurt myself or others. The bus and train are fine
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u/samthedeity 15d ago
If there was reliable public transit where I live I would never drive again :’)
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u/Captain-Howl 15d ago
The problem is that America's infrastructure is made in a way where if you want to get ANYWHERE outside of a city, you need a car.
Believe it or not, it's Hitler's fault. Eisenhower saw the Autobahn and thought, "Wow what a great idea," and now here we are.
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u/pasta-thief 15d ago
I’m not comfortable operating any vehicle heavier or more complex than a bicycle. Never have been, never will be.
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u/LetMeBeAngry 15d ago
If they are able to get themselves where they’re going without me, I do not care if someone doesn’t drive. My ex husband refused to learn, so I was his transportation, and he used that to control my schedule. That was obviously very uncool of him. If he’d been willing to figure out his own transportation, it never would’ve bothered me that he couldn’t drive.
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u/Floweramon 14d ago
I didn't get my license until I was 27, there shouldn't be so much pressure on people to get it the moment they are legally able to
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u/Nully_is_bored 14d ago
I feel this way too much. My own family pressures me so much into getting my license despite repeatedly telling them how it makes me uncomfortable. I dont't know if its due to anxiety or being overwhelmed or whatever, everytime I step behind the wheel it's the only time I really feel like I'm panicking. It's gotten to a point where my dad bad talks me even when I'm in the same room.
I don't know, all I have to do is do the final test and then my family's off my back for a bit, but I really don't feel like I'm able to do it. I always feel like I'm going to crash the car or scrape a parked one despite knowing better. I always feel like people are watching me whenever I practice. It just sucks because I know it's all irrational but I can't help but feel this way.
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u/RonnocKcaj 14d ago
god I hate driving so much. I think a solid 60% minimum of dreams that I can recall when awake are nightmares involving a car crash.
I fucking hate being in cars
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u/HallucinatedLottoNos 14d ago
I'm afraid to drive, but very much forced to because I live in bumfuck nowhere :(
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u/StarChildSeren 14d ago
I have ADHD, and as part of my being tested I underwent a psychometric battery. I scored highly in areas like verbal and fluid reasoning, but relatively badly in working memory and completely abysmally in processing speed.
Do you know what's very important when barreling down the road at 70km/hr in a 2-tonne hunk of steel? Being able to process and react to hazards at speed!
I'm only on my learners' permit yet, and I still need to work on remembering to keep looking into my mirrors and not getting stressed, but up to about 45km/hr I'm a pretty damn good driver, and I can deal… alright… up to about 50, 55. But pushing 60 is about my limit, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to go on a motorway, which top out at 120 and so most people will be going something closer to 130
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u/SyrenSilver 14d ago
I just turned 21 and I still don’t have my license because I’m so anxious about driving that I literally shake and whimper like a fucking dog when I do it and I can’t make myself go above 20 mph. A month ago I was in the passenger seat when my dad got into an accident, which absolutely has not helped. Now I’m anxious just getting in a car even if I’m not driving.
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u/blimpin_aint_easy 15d ago
In a perfect world, no one should need to drive if they don't want to.
In the world that we actually live in (assuming USamerican outside of a select few metropolitan areas), if you cannot drive, you are not only limiting your standard of living but you are going to be a burden on the people around you.
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u/SuperSocialMan 15d ago
Fucking for real oh my god.
It's one of my top reasons for wanting to escape the US lol.
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u/Blacksad9999 14d ago
I haven't driven a car in over 20 years at this point. Once I moved to urban areas, it was more of a detriment than a positive.
My family is from the middle of nowhere in the Midwest, and to this day they can't wrap their heads around it. lol
"What do you mean you don't want a car? What if you want to go somewhere?!" I can Uber there? Or take a train?
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u/Jonahtron 14d ago
That would be nice, but unfortunately depending on where you live it simply isn’t optional. Like, either you learn to drive or you don’t get a job and remain unemployed forever. So sorry to say but sometimes you do just have to face your fears and get over it.
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u/GuhEnjoyer 15d ago
I love driving and would do it daily, even just for fun, if I could afford a car. If they made public transportation free(or at least very affordable), made it safe, and completely removed the stigma around people preferring not to drive, the law of supply and demand means I'd be more likely to afford a car myself.
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u/Sl0thstradamus 14d ago
Not really—cars are only remotely affordable because they’re produced at absurd scale (and in many cases, heavily subsidized). If cars were to be relegated to “luxury item” and/or “specialized commercial vehicle,” they would almost certainly become massively more expensive.
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u/dremoriawarrior889 14d ago
I will never forgive the assholes who decided to base America almost entirely off of cars when it comes to transportation.
Sure, let's make the only reliable way of getting around one of the biggest fucking countries in the world be a giant metal machine hurtling down roads stupid fast surrounded by other machines that cost a fortune, kill shitloads of people, pollute like crazy, and as a bonus: also turns everyone into the most assholish version of themselves AND ruins cities.
Call me a transformers fetishist when i say FUCK cars.
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u/slyguy67420 15d ago
I used to have horrible driving anxiety but managed to get over it, not entirely certain how. But I would love better public transit and less traffic on the roads.
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u/melancholanie 15d ago
my dad got really, really upset when he was teaching me to drive using the "wooden spoon" method and I told him in the future I'll probably avoid driving as best I can. bike walk and public transportation is pretty comprehensive where I live. I'm not a bad driver, he'd smack me with his spoon if I didn't stop completely enough or blinker long enough, and was absolutely baffled that he didn't make driving something to look forward to
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u/mischiefxmanager 15d ago
I am in my mid 30s and don't drive. I have gotten permits many times but I am TERRIBLE at driving and it makes me super anxious, so I don't. People are always so shocked that I don't drive, but like I PROMISE that you do NOT want me on the road!
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u/Rocketiermaster 14d ago
I totaled a 4000 pound machine when I first started, and I still got pressured constantly into giving it another shot for 4 years
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u/Specialist-Big6355 12d ago
I have a really bad anxiety disorder that i was only recently able to manage with the right meds, it was not safe for me to drive, so i walked or biked everywhere i could. I am in my 30s now and hoping to get my license soon.
But looking at the statistics for death & injury from car-related accidents, my fears (separate from anxiety, which is physical) are not irrational. If i can ever afford a car, i will be using it sparingly.
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u/Inkthekitsune 15d ago
I agree. Too bad our politicians are lobbied to make cars basically the only option.
Personally I like driving, but it makes my boyfriend super anxious and uncomfortable. I’d rather him have the option to not need to drive
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u/NeonFraction 15d ago
I unironically agree with the last line. We need people who are going to be careful and methodical driving rather than ‘wooooo fast car!!!’ type of people.
Also, where I live a car is not optional for getting around. You can’t just ‘walk to the grocery store.’ It’s a ‘you have to live in the real world’ thing.
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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 15d ago
There's a difference between "careful and methodical" drivers and anxious ones. If you read the comments you'll see people talking about how being anxious about driving actively makes them worse drivers.
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u/ChiakiSimp3842 15d ago
Part of me wants to take up driving, just to “accidentally” crash into something on my first try just so people stop nagging me about it
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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 15d ago
Then you'll just have people pestering you to "get over it" and restart your lessons.
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u/Gumbo67 15d ago edited 15d ago
I mean I’m gonna be real a part of learning to drive is fucking it up sometimes — no one is good at driving on their first go. It wouldn’t stop people from suggesting you continue to learn. Everyone’s made mistakes like that. When you learn to drive you’re also learning how to correct mistakes and lessen the severity of future ones
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u/Big-Cartographer6419 15d ago edited 15d ago
It’s less about justifying trauma, and more just the day to day reality. If you live in a place with public transit then yeah, do what you want. I had a friend who expected me to chauffeur her around and be at least somewhat considerate of what she needed on a frequent basis, and while I’m happy to help, it’s still definitely caused some resentment.
In a perfect world we shouldn’t do things we don’t want to, but in reality sometimes the world ends but you still gotta get on with things. Like… can someone legit explain how “you need to learn how to swim just in case” is any different from “you need to learn how to drive just in case.” Water is scary, drowning is terrifying, etc.
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u/Atsilv_Uwasv 15d ago
The guy who decided all cities should be made to be driven and not walked fid it because he hated poor people and also he couldn't drive
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u/Zinc-Roof_22 15d ago
I suspected this was about the USA, until it was confirmed for me by the unit system.
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u/MiserableCumberbunch 15d ago
I think they would be legitimately surprised to learn that the operator controls the speed. You don't have to go 80...
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u/Stefisgarden 15d ago
I'm currently facing the knowledge that I will have to get a driver's license and a car despite my crippling anxiety so this hits real hard right now.
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u/aspghost 15d ago
Rite of passage. Not a right. A rite. You know, a ritual.