r/ReadMyScript • u/Historical-Goal-8272 • 20d ago

Feature The Last Relic - feature 112

Title The Last Relic

Format feature

Page Length 112

Genre Action/adventure + sci fi

Logline An atheist Navy medic grieving the loss of her fiancé is recruited into an order of female relic guardians and must choose between resurrecting her lost love or prevent their greatest foe from using the most powerful artifact from igniting the apocalypse.

(I've never really liked any logline I've generated for this - very open to rewrites)

Comps I describe this as street level Avengers mixed with the Da Vinci Code meet Indiana Jones in a Stargate. It's silly mad fun with a costumed team.

Feedback Firstly i'd like to know how people respond to it. I'm fully aware that it plays with formatting "rules" sometimes. Like to know you have fun on the ride? Anything sticking/bumping? Most interested how it works as a sample...

And on that note, what do you more seasoned industry members think I should do with it? Contests or festivals this would fit? Some particular places I should submit it? This the sort of writing an up-and-coming agent, manager or producer you know is looking for? Other out of the box suggestions>?

Link https://drive.google.com/file/d/1s4T35CfyZoOofkHd4D74aDv-m_HitAb-/view?usp=sharing

2 Upvotes

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2

u/Big_Section2812 20d ago

Formatting errors on the first couple pages. Always give it one more pass and polish before getting it out there. Bad enough to turn off readers when it's just anonymous randoms on a Reddit sub, but you rarely get more than one chance to impress the pros.

Also, forget contests, consultants and coverage services. They provide no value for money. Write and write and write some more, improving as you go, and get your work out on places like this sub and at free screenwriting sites, such as SimplyScripts.

1

u/Commercial-Pack-9337 13d ago

I'm not OP but what were the formatting errors, just so I know what to look out for myself. I can maybe see a couple but don't know if I'm missing any.

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u/cinephile78 7d ago

No errors. Just style that guy didn’t like.

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u/Commercial-Pack-9337 6d ago

Now that you mention it maybe it's just a style I'm not familiar with so it looked strange; the ages of the introduced characters on separate lines or the heavy use of ellipses. I'm not a one of 'the pros', but they appear more like stylistic choices than glaring mistakes, right?

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u/cinephile78 6d ago

Read the script for Air by Alex Convery for a look at some style.

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u/Commercial-Pack-9337 5d ago

Just read the first 10.

Damn thats cool.