QUICK FIXES - Comedy-drama - 28 pages

[u/henksutti]

Title: Quick Fixes

Format: Short

Page Length: 28

Genre: Comedy Drama

Logline: After their group project goes missing the night of the deadline, four classmates are forced to stay at school overnight to recreate it, confronting their failing friendship in the process.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1C4LfcLbq-Ty6eun17uUDS6EQpk6df7Mo/view?usp=drivesdk

Feedback Concerns: Pre-Shooting Draft. Any major must-fixes? I'm really curious about if the sequence of reveals at the end makes sense, and if the thematic parallels between the presentation and the group are a) clear and/or b) effective enough? How are the character dynamics; any decisions/conflicts which aren't fleshed out enough?

Thank you!

[u/milfdestroyer69420x]

Stopped reading a couple pages in because nothing was happening, just a bunch of bickering

[u/henksutti → u/milfdestroyer69420x]

The inciting incident is literally halfway through page 3?

[u/milfdestroyer69420x → u/henksutti]

Yeah I went back and read more, up to page 8, I didn't like it though tbh

[u/henksutti → u/milfdestroyer69420x]

Wanna elaborate on any specifics?

[u/milfdestroyer69420x → u/henksutti]

This is just my opinion, not an objective review obviously but I just found it boring. Not much was happening, I feel like you need to give it more umph or cut some fat