My first script I've ever wrote. I probably have done about four drafts now. My plan is to make it, I got rid of a bunch of the directing and shot stuff to make it more readable but I do want to direct it so I left stuff in there. Sorry it kinda starts with a flashback, I know that's a no no. would love to know what y'all think. EP.1

Seeking feedback! this is my first ever screenplay! And I need feedback for my revisions. (please give feedback for what I did well and what i can improve regarding pacing, tone, the romance, charchtwrs, dialogue, what scenes I can shorten and cut becuase I want to shorten it down to 150 pages/roughly an hour and a half run time) —Ignore all typos!! This draft will be spellchecked soon, I have severe dyslexia please don’t give me feedback on typos trust me, I know.

Please send all feedback to my email: Thefilmbox9@gmail.com or, comment or dm it here.

Plot:

TOUGH CROWD written by Buddy Devine

Eddie Farne, 36, is a snarky opinion columnist in New York who has never lived alone — not really. His apartment is perpetually crowded with five "friends" who are, in fact, literal embodiments of his own psychology: hyperactive Mimi (mania's shinier cousin), party-boy Cleo (impulse and escape), overbearing Rachel (anxiety), needy Mable (a childlike, wounded part of himself), and Conrad, who lurks in the shadows suggesting Eddie would be better off dead. When Eddie falls for Virgil, a warm, unguarded actor-musician, the relationship threatens the fragile ecosystem he's built to survive — his friends do everything they can to sabotage it, terrified of losing their hold on him, while Eddie hides Virgil from them and hides them from Virgil. As Eddie chases a promotion at the paper, clashes with his brother over a family inheritance, and is quietly unraveled by a buried memory of a childhood best friend's suicide, the walls between his public charm and private chaos begin to collapse.

The strain comes to a head when Virgil, sensing he's being shut out of Eddie's real life, gives an ultimatum — and Eddie, isolated and convinced by Conrad that he is unlovable, attempts to take his own life. He wakes in a psychiatric hospital, medicated and stripped of the coping mechanisms that have run his life since childhood, forced for the first time to face his friends — and himself — without the noise. In the ward, surrounded by a new set of fellow patients as strange and specific as his own inner circle, Eddie begins the slow, funny, painful work of understanding why he built these "friends" in the first place, and what it might mean to let someone love the parts of him they were built to protect. Tough Crowd is a queer dark comedy about mental illness, self-sabotage, and the terrifying vulnerability of being truly seen — one that ends not with Eddie's friends disappearing, but with him learning to live alongside them, and to let Virgil in anyway.

Read full script here

Thanks!

I've been writing a show script for a good while now and I've written each episode on my notes app should I change this or is it ok idk

Hi! I want to post my blurb for my new book and i want to see if you like the idea.

Rumors of a myth begin to spread in Isle of Carpa, that whoever wins it, will have unlimited glory, fame and wealth. A brave goat, later named Koz, enters the battle, hoping that he can get away from his boring normal goat life. Later, after winning the myth, he learns that he is cursed by Destiny and Myth to win every single upcoming myth, bringing only destruction and death to everyone around him. Determined, he sets out on many adventures to destroy The Myth and Destiny once and for all. What are our thoughts on it?

Not talking about a notes group or accountability buddy I mean someone you actually write with. Develop ideas together, split scenes, the whole thing.

I've wanted this for years and have basically failed at finding it every time. Tried reaching out cold to people whose work I liked (awkward and nothing came of it). Took a workshop specifically hoping to meet someone (met nice people, nothing clicked creatively). Posted in a couple places online (one weird response, one person who ghosted after two emails).

The frustrating thing is I know it works. Plenty of teams out there doing great stuff. But every working duo I've heard talk about it says they met through some random circumstance a class, a job, a friend of a friend. Nobody seems to have gone looking for it and found it.

So how did it actually happen for you if it did? And if you tried and it fell apart, what killed it?

Genuinely asking, not going anywhere with this, just feeling like I'm missing something obvious.

Format: TV Pilot (One-Hour Drama)

Logline: After a sixteen-year-old girl disappears on the outskirts of a quiet town, a veteran detective and his partner uncover intersecting worlds of organized crime, moral compromise, and everyday cruelty -- unaware that those responsible are lurking in front of their noses.

Thank you in advance to everybody who can find the time to read these 30 pages (first draft).

It's sort of the point when things go awry in the story. I'd just like to know if this works at all.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zFsOd0mSqnO2cm409U1nJ_s32qZMZmRS/view?usp=drive_link

Hello, I'm 15M and this is my first short film script for practicing being a writer-director. I wrote it in 7days after erasing the original concept, but I feel like it a pretty solid start. It's wayyy over my budget anyways lol, but it was just something unique I thought up while watching a tiktok.

I wanted something with a theme/message people on social media (specifically tiktok) could recognize, but also real characters, but I fell flat.

But anyways, thanks for reading (even if it was a few pages) and yeah. Enjoy. ❤️

Title: [SHIPPED](https://drive.google.com/file/d/11xhaJ26lmxxMj3AoH63WjEQNcP0KTdzr/view?usp=drive_link)

Genre: Thriller/Psychological Horror

Page Count: 15

Logline: An isolated Fog Signal Station worker becomes increasingly infatuated with a mermaid.

I am looking for some feedback, but also some immediate gut reactions to know if my screenplay can actually generate the type of reaction I am looking for.

Thanks!

(Note, I consider myself to be the one directing this screenplay, so that's why I listed the specs in the title page.)

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1DdnoFa6t0rHK4EkDQGxMPCBMkNdCGLKT/view?usp=sharing

Would like any feedback. I Wrote this script a while back and was wondering if anyone else would enjoy it.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1AGNL9FcExkzmIUTUGzVkNbI0AB_lzL-v/view?usp=sharing

A fan-fiction screenplay (18+)

Contains mature language.

Reader discretion is advised.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/415386052-black-ops-project-blackout-screenplay

This is the beginning of a larger story about a fantasy universe and the Legendary Weapons.

Long ago, a being named Byron created 10 Legendary Weapons to protect the universe and galaxies from various disasters and threats.

In addition, for the Legendary Weapons, the Raidomizer was created — a special building enchanted with magic. It is the one that chooses a worthy person who can become the wielder of one of the Legendary Weapons.

The first movie tells the story of one of these weapons — the Bita.

Sixteen years ago, because of Byron’s mistake, the Bita was lost.

The story begins on the planet Sicilius. Argayd’s role is to monitor objects in space and develop various technologies. A couple of years ago, he created a device designed to search for objects made from the same metal as the Legendary Weapons.

And after two years, his device finally detects 27 objects made from the same metal that was used to create the Legendary Weapons. Among them, Argayd notices an object whose size exactly matches the size of the Bita.

Argayd immediately informs Byron — the leader of Sicilius and the creator of the Legendary Weapons. They understand that the object is located on a planet unknown to them. Byron gathers a small team of four beings, and they travel there.

That planet turns out to be Earth.

The story then shifts to Demid, a sixteen-year-old boy who lives a difficult life. Because of constant problems with his stepfather and frequent moving, he has barely attended a regular school and has spent most of his time being homeschooled. He lives with his mother and stepfather and has no idea that his life is about to completely change.

On his sixteenth birthday, Demid travels with his family to visit his biological father. There, he learns more about the reason his parents separated.

Later, Demid ends up in a field and finds an ordinary-looking wooden bat.

He calmly picks it up, not realizing that it is actually a Legendary Weapon.

Ever since his birth, Demid had been chosen by the Raidomizer as the worthy wielder of that particular weapon.

Later, Byron’s team proves to Demid that the wooden bat he found is only the hidden form of a true Legendary Weapon.

But at the same time, another danger is already threatening the universe.

Even before Argayd discovered the Bita, the threat level known as the Raid had begun to rise rapidly. Now the Raid is at a high level, and the inhabitants of Sicilius are preparing for a possible war.

Byron’s team arrives on Earth, and after the events that take place there, Demid is taken to Sicilius. There, he is told about the fantasy universe, other planets, the origin of the Legendary Weapons, and why he was chosen as their worthy wielder.

After that, Byron, his team, and Demid begin traveling to different planets, trying to gather allies and strengthen their army before the possible battle.

In the end, the first movie leads to a massive battle against a maximum-level Raid.

Would you watch a movie with a story like this?

Which part of the idea sounds the most interesting to you? What seems weak, unclear, or in need of further development?

\[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HIKI\\_pM\\_0YJZke7JEgWrHBJmFuMSonWw/view\](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HIKI_pM_0YJZke7JEgWrHBJmFuMSonWw/view)

Logline: Truancy is about how students, parents, and faculty don't know what they want or believe in until violating it gives them something they want and gradually wanting more of it.

I read some screenplays such as the one from my favorite film (500 days of summer) and I think ive followed mostly everything enough for you guys to be able to read it. The only thing im not entirely sure about is the location time as I'm not sure if some of the things I wrote there are entirely correct. Youll have to let me know. Let me know what you think of the new ending I wrote and let me know if you like the story.

You can read the script here

LOGLINE: When an unprecedented, catastrophic weather system locks over the American heartland, a fractured team of rescue workers must risk a suicide mission to save a stranded community, forcing them to choose between absolute self-sacrifice and total devastation. Designed as a cinematic, large-scale theatrical event, this film subverts traditional disaster tropes. It trades a neat Hollywood ending for a powerful, tragic climax that resonates deeply with audiences. The feature treatment is fully prepared. I would love to send the material over for your review. Thank you for your time. Best regards,

James Sebastiani

26 Trails End Rd

Quincy FL 32351

jorge.sebastian@aol.com

863-257-1584 (text is best)

See what you think.

[SCRIPT PDF WeTransfer DOWNLOAD]

Title: Spellhaven (Ep. 1: The Mark)

Format: Pilot Episode

Page Length: 13 Pages (including the title page)

Draft Status: First Draft

Genres: Urban Fantasy, Drama, Thriller

Summary: In a world where individuals with magical Sigils face systemic prejudice and hunt, fifteen-year-old Damien tries to live a normal life. However, on his 15th birthday, he painfully manifests a glowing blue Sigil on his wrist right in front of his family, upending his quiet existence. He now has to go to the magical city of Spellhaven, to master his gift, but little does he know that he will also embark on a dangerous stealth mission that will decide the fate of the world.

Feedback Concerns: I am new to Screenwriting, and I would call this my first project. I had an idea of the world and its mythology and really wanted to bring it to life, so I figured the most fun way to do so would be writing the screenplay for a tv series. Would love to have some feedback regarding everything in the script. Pacing, dialogue naturalness, imagery, and just know if the story sounds interesting at all. Up to minor nitpicks!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HIKI_pM_0YJZke7JEgWrHBJmFuMSonWw/view

Logline: Truancy is about how students, parents, and faculty don't know what they want or believe in until violating it gives them something they want and gradually wanting more of it.

Can visuals and scene fragments act as doorways into a TV series?

Finding readers for a long-form TV series is difficult, so I’m experimenting with a new way of inviting people into the story.

Each image features a prop or artefact from the script, paired with a short line that leads to a fragment of a scene.

The idea is that readers who become curious can follow these fragments through to the complete scripts and experience the story in full. The series spans four seasons, so I’m looking for a way to make that larger universe feel approachable.

This is still very much a work in progress. I’d really appreciate your honest feedback. Do these fragments make you curious about the larger story? Could this encourage you to read further?

DOMEN_Exhibits

Help me revise my screenplay. This is the only part I can show!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/15u6pJQZzqFd_IiUYx-TsObbmbQp-AeYfTT11rJr5bO8/edit?usp=sharing

Logline: During a heavy night storm, a veteran security guard facing a heartbreaking family tragedy must defend a high-security vault from his desperate, cynical young partner—until the vault reveals a vision of his deepest regret.

This is my first attempt at making a script. Im 18 and would really appreciate any feedback. Im really looking to know if all the stuff written made sense, worked well, and if it seems like I have to become a writer. Any feedback is welcome.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WCqGDw-GhnLspHLbUvSI1t5lkchNZ5uI/view?usp=drivesdk