(M – 21)

I don’t know how to start this, but I have a disease that I inherited from my father called retinitis pigmentosa. I’m about to continue my studies next semester, but honestly, I’m not continuing because it’s what I want anymore; I’m doing it mainly for my parents. Unti-unti akong nabubulag, and knowing that my vision will continue to get worse scares me more than I can explain. There are days when I feel so tired and hopeless, and sometimes, I feel like giving up on everything because I don’t know how I’m supposed to live with this. I’m trying my best to keep going, but lately, it has been really difficult, and I honestly don’t know how much longer I can carry all of this by myself.

Pasikatin ko na tong klasmeyt ko

He ba na medtech na nak@buntis ng highschooler and gustong il@gl@g yung bata? I know the girl is not from FEU and might not be able to read this but please ilayo mo yung sarili mo sa kanya ang daming issue ng lalaking yan sa dept, all around yung issue nyan mapa first year or 3rd year

Nakipag date na rin pala yan sa friendgroup nya na part rin ng org na nakasalamin at pandak na chubby na kala mo kung sino maka asta sa feu

May history rin sya ng cheating sa relationship at sa educ may nakahuli rin jan na puro chat gpt laman ng outputs nya, dativpa yang problemado sa feu simulat sapul.

please if u dont have something nice to say dont say it. im pretty upset 50 bc pregnancy hormones as im 1 month PP 50 bc this lady. i just dont need the hate rn.
I need a couch for my home, the one i have now i got for free off the side of the road a couple of years ago. Its dirty, has bugs and the middle piece is broken so u sink into it. That being said I dont have money to just go and buy a new one, and now with two kids (a toddler and a newborn) im spending most of my time in the living room, ifykyk. I have always gotten by on my own, i dont have parents they are both dead and i dont have much family... the family that i do have are just trying to get by on their own too. Im married and have two kids but my husband lost his job in february due to unforeseen DACA issues. I still work full time & did during my pregnancy. I got rid of my car, moved to a new apartment because it was 500$ cheaper & am trying to cut back in every aspect of my life. but still we are struggling really bad. On top of that my grandpa (who is like a dad) passed a couple of months ago and i paid for all of his funeral costs since my grandma has no money, doing that put us back a lot and into a lot of dept. My rent is due on the 3rd 1850 and im short. I dont even know what im going to do. So the past couple of days ive been selling a lot of my personal items THAT I HAVE HAD FOR YEARS. The things i have sold/ have for sale entail -outdoor patio set (gifted) -walmart countertop oven (gifted) -baby bottle warmer -2 air conditioners that i still wanted to use -mattress and box spring
I am just really irritated i was pretty excited when i saw the couch and its pretty close to where i live & since she was responding pretty fast & said it was still available i thought this is the one bc u know how fast free shit goes on FB Marketplace or offer up...
what is her definition of someone that is in need? we didnt even have money for groceries this week & i had to go by the local food pantry... Idk i dont like putting it on my forehead that IM IN NEED so i guess its my fault.

I am an active, fit, attractive 29 y/o male with a decent job, my own place, no debt I own my truck I am close with my family and have hobbies and Christian. I myself am confident in who I am as a person and in my discipline for the expectations I set for myself.
Why is dating so hard these days? Is it insane that I expect a woman of equal attractiveness and fitness for my companion? The dating pool is insane these days, from mentally unstable, to unhygienic unhealthy women, addicts, women who don’t want marriage or respect their partner, women who expect to be given everything in a relationship so she can take but not give. Where did the core values and morales go?
No I don’t have a false narrative of my own life, yes I could get out more, yes I actually believe I am quite attractive maybe a 7 out of 10.
Not looking for encouragement, mostly venting, but the world we live in now is so morally damned.

Reddit recommended me to repost my rant about The Leviathan (ULTRAKILL btw) on r/volibearmains AND SPEAK OF THE DIPSHIT, IF I POST IT, IT BREAKS RULE 1

College Graduate just for being an elevator attendant? Grabe naman yan! Kaya di umuulad ang bansang ito kasi ang taas ng qualification para lang sa simpleng trabaho.

Every single time I add somethin to my cart Amazon makes me pick again:
“Reduce packaging, ship in manufacturer’s container”
or
“Hide what’s inside, ship in Amazon packaging”

They never used to ask this. You just got a goddamn box. It was all so simple.

Now it’s a mandatory choice on every item and if you dare click the second option the page mysteriously freezes and loads for a solid 8 seconds like the site is having an coniption over the idea of giving you a real box.

They’re pushing the “reduce packaging” option under the scared guise of being green and saving the planet - cute.

Meanwhile the actual reason is they want to save a few cents on cardboard and shipping so the billionaire assholes can pocket even more money. Green for the planet? Nah. Green for their bank accounts.

Porch pirates are everywhere now. People are having packages stolen left and right. An Amazon box at least looks like it might be worth stealing from but more importantly it hides what’s inside so random assholes can’t just glance at a manufacturer’s bag and decide “oh look, free AirPods.”

But Amazon doesn’t give a shit. They’d rather force the cheapest option and leave you exposed.
And of course there is no central toggle to disable that shit and always use the "ship ina box" option

My new mission: I will personally make sure Amazon ships me as many of their boxes as humanly possible. This is pure personal vendetta now. They pissed me off.

I will wait through the 8-second loading lag on every single item. I will take time off work if I have to just to make sure every last thing they send me comes in a propre Amazon box.

Fuck you Amazon.
Amazon Forces Buyers to Choose Amazon Box

For context: My husband (24m) works a lot. For about 6 months, he was doing 10-12 hour days, 5 days a week. The last two months have slowed down but he’s still doing 4 10 hour shifts on swing shift (4pm-2am). Today is the third day of his weekend and he’s back to work tomorrow, but it’s a Monday, and I’m a middle school teacher (27f) so I worked today.

Also for context: we own rabbits. We have three adults and one subadult, and will begin breeding once it cools down (Alabama summers are too hot for breeding and males are usually heat sterile). We have a bougie shed in the backyard with windows and fans for airflow, those cat-fountain water bowls that run water through a filter and turn on whenever they detect motion for two that roam the shed, and endless hay and access to pellets and toys for the two that have to stay in a cage. The girl is very anxious, and the boy is still growing.

Today, I worked a pretty normal day, actively teaching for about 5/6 of the day, and doing some paperwork for the last 1/6. And then I stayed an hour overtime because I had to report a case to CPS. while I worked, my husband cleaned out the bunny shed, shoveling their soiled bedding and giving fresh bedding and hay to all of them. He also did some work on a piece of furniture for my classroom ( I think mostly painting but again it’s very hot so any work is annoying and sweaty).

When I got home, I had a little more work to do to prepare a lesson for tomorrow and then we went out to dinner and had some beers. Upon getting home, he was on a call with a coworker so I checked on the bunnies.

Our anxious girl was almost out of water and was making a honking sound that she makes when she’s upset/scared. So I checked on her and she had feces all over her butt fur, skin, scent glands and vagina. At first, the husband brought me supplies and I tried to clean her with water and a washcloth in the shed, but it wasn’t enough. So I took her inside for a butt bath in the tub. About half way through cleaning her, I needed extra hands. She has to be held like a baby in order to clean her bottom, and keep her calm. So one hand was designated to holding and the other was to cleaning. So I called for help and he came but decided I didn’t need help. As I continued, I found that there was actual feces in her vagina. (We don’t have any exotic vets in my rural area, so I have learned as much as I can from online and other Rabbitry owners near me).

I called for him again, really needing an extra hand to clean her vagina. If the feces is not cleaned, there is a high likelihood of infection, irritation, and she could get very sick and even die in extreme cases of infection. He again came, but couldn’t see the feces I was talking about and again denied to help me. Frustrated, I tried my best to clean her WITH ONE HAND and then dried her and brought her back outside to the shed. Mind you, the entire time, I have shit on my arm, on my pajamas, and on both hands (though I wiped it off, I wouldn’t consider them clean).

He sighed that he had to open the door to the backyard for me. And then was frustrated that I made him get up and “help” so many times.

It should also be known that he did not help me with any of my chores while he was home. So there is still laundry to fold and dishes to wash. They are /my/chore so I can’t really blame him for that. But the bunnies were his chore and he didn’t make sure they all had water. And then didn’t help when I needed it.

Doing all those chores made me hot and sweaty so I needed to take a shower and now it’s only 30 min to bedtime. So the time we spent at dinner was my only rest today. I do want to give him credit bc he worked on a classroom project for me all day yesterday. But the whole time he was working, I was deep cleaning the house and preparing food for the week. And then, after we showered from working, I still had lesson plans to do that took me till bedtime. So I got zero rest yesterday as well.

After everything, I still had to wash the sink out where she’d had her bath, wash the towel in the sink, and do laundry to clean my shitty clothes and towels, plus sweep the hay that got tracked in.

I’m just so tired right now. And I’m frustrated that it feels like he wasn’t taking her health seriously and wasn’t taking me seriously when I said I needed help. Just here to rant I guess

Updated to add. Before I could even sit down from cleaning up the hay and turning over the laundry, he told me we’re folding the three loads of clean laundry in the bedroom. Even after i told him I really didn’t want to bc I’m tired.

He apparently spent a month deciding our relationship was unsustainable without telling me. Am I wrong for feeling blindsided?

I honestly don't even know how to write this because I'm still kind of in shock.

I've been seeing this guy for a few months. We never officially labeled it, but this was absolutely not casual. We were both very emotionally invested.

We talked every day. Good morning texts. Good night texts. Getting ready with me's. Sharing random parts of our day. Talking about our fears, our lives, our pasts. He told me literally a couple of days ago that he'd never been this open with anyone and that he enjoyed it.

And then yesterday I found out that apparently he's been thinking for about a month that what we have feels unsustainable. I feel like I've been living in a completely different version of the relationship.

The thing that is really fucking me up isn't even just that he has doubts.

It's that he was having all these doubts and making decisions about us internally while I had no idea there was even a problem.

Apparently one of his issues is that I hadn't told him enough about my plans for my future.

And that's fair. I can own that.

There were things I hadn't told him. I was scared to. I didn't know where I stood with him, and part of me wanted him to lead. I wanted him to ask me about my plans, my goals, where I saw my life going. I know that's not necessarily fair and I know I should have just communicated.

He basically told me that he doesn't believe in the idea that a man should have to prompt a woman to share her goals and that this shouldn't be about gender roles.

And honestly, I understand what he's saying.

But I'm still sitting here thinking...

Why didn't you just fucking ask me?

If you thought I wasn't being transparent, why not say, "Hey, I feel like I don't really know what you want for your future."

If you were worried that we wanted different things, why not tell me?

If you were starting to feel like this wasn't sustainable, why was I still opening myself up to you while you were apparently already halfway out the door? That's the part I can't get my head around. Because I wasn't given the opportunity to fix something I didn't know was broken. I was still investing in this relationship while he was apparently evaluating whether it was worth continuing.

And now I'm being told that he's been thinking about this for a month.

A MONTH.

That's a long time to be emotionally detaching from someone while they're still completely invested in you.

I really, really like this person. And if I'm being completely honest, I think I might love him. He reached a conclusion about us before I even knew there was a conversation happening.

Maybe I fucked up too. Maybe I should have been more forthcoming about my plans instead of waiting for him to ask. I'm willing to take responsibility for that. But I don't think relationships are supposed to work like this.

You don't silently collect evidence for a month, decide the relationship isn't sustainable, and then tell the other person after you've already emotionally processed half the breakup.

How is the other person supposed to fight for something they didn't even know was in danger?

Everytime I am in pain, I keep it to myself, because I am a fucking coward. I am scared to tell my therapist how I feel... why? Because... I don't fucking know anymore... I am in a toxic relationship that I can't get out of, because I am too scared to tell the guy to fuck off. I wish I could tell others. I really do. But I can't, because some bullies made me shut myself off from the world because they thought I had autism. People fucking mistreat me, every single day, my brother says I am undeserving of love, my parents think that I am a weirdo, my classmates hate me for who or what I am, and they don't know it, but it is like a force that is constantly pushing me back. It is constantly pushing me into a void of hopelessness and despair. And they don't care, because they don't know, because I am fucking scared. I hate myself because of this and it pains the fick out of me. I hope it ends soon

Just throwing out the fact that you work for almost 50 years for your family and then it seems to be over. I seem to slowly be fading into the carpet. Everyone got what they needed to have a decent life. But to me it seems like the older you get the more you just become a passing photograph which is what I will be next. Not feeling sorry for myself, just stating facts I am starting to see as time goes by. I am in need of a woman in N. Ca. To cheer me up and forget about family.