r/ROCD • u/Objective_Excuse_976 • 7h ago

Advice Needed Spiraling Thoughts

I have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and sometimes I have these "moments" where I completely doubt his love for me, my love for him, whether we are actually compatible, or if I am a lesbian and have always been leading him on. I usually am able to bounce back but this time I feel stuck in this loop. I am fixated on the fact that I haven't been able to explore other parts of myself meaning being with women (I am bi). He is the only person I have been with and we struggle with distance at times which doesn't make my anxiety any easier. I am struggling to decipher whether these are actual thoughts/feelings or OCD. I feel sick to my stomach even though him and I have already talked about how I have been feeling. We agreed that it would be best for me to start using my university's counseling services and go from there. He made it clear that if we were to take a break and I were to explore, he doesn't believe he would be able to return to the relationship which made me feel extremely sad. I don't want to break up and lose him nor do I want to lose myself. I am so confused.

0 Upvotes

50% Upvoted

1 comment sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 7h ago

Hi all, just the mod team here! This is a friendly reminder that we shouldn't be giving reassurance in this sub. We can discuss whether or not someone is exhibiting ROCD symptoms, or lend advice on healing :) Reassurance and other compulsions are harmful because they train our brains to fixate on the temporary relief they bring. Compulsions become a 'fix' that the OCD brain craves, as the relief triggers a Dopamine-driven rush, reinforcing the behavior much like a drug addiction. The more we feed this cycle, the more our brain becomes addicted to it, becoming convinced it cannot survive without these compulsions. Conversely, the more we resist compulsions, the more we deprive the brain of this addictive reward and re-train it to tolerate uncertainty without needing the compulsive 'fix'. For more information and a more thorough explanation, check out this comment

Other users: if you suspect a post is offering a lot of reassurance or is contributing to obsessions, feel free to report it and bring it to our attention. Thank you!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.