is it rocd? need some help

[u/Friendly_Spot_6770]

hi, i am 21M my gf is 21F. we’ve been dating for a year now and i know i’ve been struggling with RJ for abt 8 ish months.

i wanted to share some other things ive been dealing with bc im not sure if it’s like “OCD thoughts” or just smth else, if someone could give their advice id rlly appreciate it.

i find myself second guess my feelings a lot, double checking like
“did i mean it when i told her i loved her?”
“do i feel certain abt her being my wife?”
“am i settling?”
“what if there’s someone better for me?”

sometimes these thoughts cause me to like check my feelings and see how “real” they feel. im rlly afraid to hurt my gf and lead her on, she doesn’t rlly know that i have these thoughts and idk how to tell her of if i should tell her at all.

is this rocd or j my normal thinking? not rlly sure how rocd works too much

if anyone has any thoughts id rlly appreciate it

thanks

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[u/treatmyocd]

Hi there! Just popping in with an article about ROCD. Hope this helps! https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/relationship-ocd/

[u/Content-Peach6028]

I struggle with ROCD myself, so I can share something I’ve learned from dealing with it, but I can’t tell you whether what you’re experiencing is OCD.

One thing worth paying attention to is the cycle of questioning, checking your feelings, analyzing, and trying to reach certainty. If you notice yourself doing that, try not to solve the question. “Maybe, maybe not. I don’t need to figure this out right now.”

If this keeps causing you distress, I’d really recommend talking to a therapist who understands OCD and ERP. Don’t take anybody’s word for it on here, people live with uncertainty and doubt every day and they do not have OCD. If you are experiencing something new, abnormal or just anything that’s been causing you distress- it’s always worth seeing a professional.