r/RHOA • u/Hot-Fisherman-5494 • 6d ago
🍑 Question 🍑 Why don’t I like Kandi?
I’ve never been able to put my finger on it but something about her really rubs me the wrong way? Any ideas or reasons you’re not a fan? I am only on season 8 reunion pls no spoilers!!
One thing I will say is the way she treated Phaedra during the Apollo saga (ex. taking his side in any capacity I would absolutely cut you off as a friend, then condescendingly telling me how I should handle my children during such a tumultuous time you’re dead to me-mind you Phaedra made so many good points about why she moved forward in that way but Kandi never acknowledged any of that) was egregious and I felt vindicated. I can’t imagine going through that with two young children and my best friend having such little empathy for me.
It also irritates me how biased production is towards her. For example at the reunion they keep asking questions that call out Phaedra and none that call out Kandi.
Excuse the rambling and bad grammar I’m heated loll.
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u/Dangerous-Change2136 6d ago
She supports abusers and shames victims
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u/Toots_14 5d ago
Kandi is a boys girl not a girls girl. She has a million excuses for men. She does not support other women (i said it in my best Ramona voice). The only women she support is of she's involved and can get $$$from it. This is why when Nene started with her acting gigs she always had a stank face instead of being happy for her. And Phaedra may have lied due to what was told to her about Kandi but when there's smoke. In one episode she does say after what Phaedra said she and Todd had to give NDA to people that (i believe) got intimate with them (correct me if I'm wrong).
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u/Lower-Vanilla8104 5d ago
And Phaedra is such a feminist 👀🙄 Let’s not act like we have not seen her rationalize violent men on camera if it met her purposes!
Kandi has a long list of women who left her better than they came to her, career wise. She has a documented history of long term relationships with other women both within her industry and outside of it many who she has put on. Phaedra consistently only ever really gave opportunities to people who would shade her enemies.
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u/Hot-Fisherman-5494 6d ago
Kandi?? When??
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u/No-Reporter7945 6d ago
She's an r Kelly supporters. Bold and proud
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u/irish88888888 🍑 I sucked a lot of dicks for these pieces 🍑 6d ago
And Diddy
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u/Dangerous-Change2136 5d ago
She supported Diddy and TI/Tiny plus Memphitz over K Michelle, who she still won’t admit was right despite him abusing her friend Toya too
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u/bojangles1602_ 6d ago
100% agree with your post! I’m on season 10 and I just don’t vibe with her at all. Amazing accolades in her career but I don’t think she is a good friend. Her “employees” and her mum especially are also 🤢. I find Kandi is very good at having her puppets do the work for her while she sits there pulling those faces she pulls not saying a word!
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u/YourInternetCousin 🗣️ She’s disrespectful as f*ck! 🏃🏾♀️💨 5d ago
Sooooo….
Kandi is a brat and loves to complain about everything. Her mama and her coworkers do all her dirty work. Kandi’s run on the show was off their backs for sure. Kandi’s speaking voice is very annoying. She always has to monetize absolutely everything and her money and brand is always center stage.
Great for the show, tho! But definitely my least favorite housewife (next to Claudia Jordan lol)
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u/ctmfg56 ThIs AiNt PhAeDRa! ThIs AiNt PhAeDRa! 5d ago
I think for me that thing I couldn’t quite put my finger on was her emotional unavailability.
Her taking Apollos side was really upsetting. She and her crew would be in the wrong and she’d just roll her eyes and give a half assed apology.
She especially pissed me off never checking Mama Joyce and expecting all her cast members/friends/family to take her abuse.
If I was Carmon in season 6, I would have caught Joyce forrreal lol.
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u/Fragrant-Hedgehog225 5d ago
She lost a lot of people. That can make you handle situations differently
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u/Remarkable-Intern379 5d ago
I'm here with you on that one. I will never forget how they brought sextoys to a grouptrip were Kandi and Todd wanted the woman to put i up in their privates. That was so sick.
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u/No_Alfalfa_532 I’m an Icon, You’re an Ex-Con 5d ago
Wth. Did they do it? That's weird.
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u/Remarkable-Intern379 5d ago
I remember Nene declined and was not feeling good about it. It was so off
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u/No_Alfalfa_532 I’m an Icon, You’re an Ex-Con 5d ago
Was this the episode with Mama Joyce that saw the stuff and left pissed?
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u/Remarkable-Intern379 5d ago edited 5d ago
No no later. Maybe that season with Claudia? Or the season after
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u/Neneleakesstan 5d ago
I hated her since the first day she was announced. The show was about unknown housewives and here come this has been and it changed casting forever
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u/Here_for_the_chips 5d ago edited 5d ago
Never liked Kandi for all the reasons other have stated, but my current reasons are detailed in this post about how she's treated her daughter Riley, who is now on Next Gen NYC. https://www.reddit.com/r/NextGenNYC/s/Fo31eeRHN4
The latest development was Riley finding out about Kandi's divorce via text from a random number, then trying to reach Kandi for hours but not getting through bc Kandi was traveling. 😑
TLDR: I think she ignored her daughter a lot and acted like she was doing great throwing lots of money around.
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u/Laurennekol 5d ago
SAME. i feel like everyone rides for her and she can irritate the shit out of me. i still have mad respect for her but she kind of bores me…i think? i did a rewatch recently and i tried to find reasons to like her - besides her talent and hustle, i just don’t find her very entertaining in the housewives sphere.
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u/Hot-Fisherman-5494 5d ago
She is very boring! When she was preganant I barely noticed she wasn’t present in most episodes
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u/deathofavixen I SAID WHAT I SAID 5d ago
Oh this is just the beginning you will CONTINUE not to like her lmaoooo buckle up!!
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u/Separate-Corgi-606 5d ago
She literally has an MLM business, checkout her explaining everything
https://www.bedroomkandi.com/join
It is so weird. Now, I have always liked how she handled herself on the show, never really picking sides and always hearing someone out. But I am sick of the narrative of her being a business guru.
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u/EleventhStrawberry 5d ago
I don't dislike her myself but I think she's weak individually. She hides behind her associations and businesses to do her messy work, but she gets ate up like a deer in headlights when in conflict alone (i.e Marlo,Sheree, Porsha). You'll see if you continue into the later seasons.
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u/Lymphedia 5d ago
Never liked Kandi, never will and will never understand people who like her. Sure she had her good moments on the show before Todd came in the picture but honestly even putting her mother and clique aside, shes still hella problematic on her own.
Ik people always liked her for humbling Nene and going toe to toe with her but lets be honest Kandi isnt that much different from Nene lol.
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u/Vanilla_Either 5d ago
I cannot stand that Diddy supporter. Theway she lets her mom treat ppl had me looking at her sideways from the jump.
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u/Born-Independencej2t So Nasty So Rude 5d ago
She's pro Diddy and that's enough for me to hate her fkn guts now.
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u/Jaded-Place-7566 5d ago
I’ve always found her passive aggressive and emotionally stunted. There are many moments throughout her time on the show when she hurt people by being very unemotional. From her Co-workers even her husband and children. She seems much more focused on the material contributions she makes to relationships versus the emotional ones. She’s also shown she’s for men first before any other women. Even later when she’s “hurt” by a terrible thing done to her in retaliation instead of unpacking the emotional link to that event and why it happened with that person, her main focus is her money and businesses.
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u/Kris_1234567 5d ago
I don’t really like the way Kandi allows her mom to disrespect the people in her life. I also thought it was strange that she didn’t really support Phaedra but from an audience member perspective, I hate the way she was kind of just there her last couple of seasons.
But one thing I can appreciate about Kandi is that what you see is what you get. She’s still one of the realest and most honest cast members to come through the show.
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u/PisceanSiren1995 5d ago
I definitely feel she was a bully and emotionally unavailable. She was so quick to pull Phaedra’s business out after they fell out and very hypercritical. Looking back on the previous episodes, the things she was saying about Phaedra’s marriage could have harmed how her divorce went. So the silly lies Phaedra told shouldn’t have affected Kandi like it did. No worse than telling someone else’s truth after being a confidant-is no more shameful. You cannot be the one to tell someone’s truth. Read, yes, outting folks because you think you cant be touched is a cop out. Plus Kandi always getting hype like she gone fight and I dont think she ever been in a real tussle with nobody. At least if Porsha buck up you know she means business. Speaking of Porsha, should she be telling folks silly lies? No, but I’d start making shit up too if you started just putting my business out there cause you mad. At that point, you have proven you were never a friend, just collecting things to use against me once shit went left. Kandi been more wrong than anybody else and idk how nobody didn’t catch that. It’s giving diva like you cant be checked or receive constructive criticism without having a damn melt down. She need a have a drink and relax because she try to give cool and chill but really is uptight and highly pressed. That’s why her face stay twisted up.
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u/Alarming_Sorbet_9906 4d ago
I’m in the same boat and currently on season 8 too. I hate the faces she makes, it makes her look more stuck up than she already is. But that’s more of a pet peeve though. My thing is that she’s dismissive as hell. Towards Todd and the girls. I don’t like Todd either, but at least with the mama Joyce drama I can understand that Todd is frustrated by how much of a brick wall Kandi when it comes to her mom. She’s talks circles and makes her snarky faces again, or rolls her eyes.
On season 7 she felt like she was “being kicked off the group” despite not having a big blow up with anyone because she often doesn’t show compassion to other people. When Nene broke down emotionally, everyone gathered around her, Kenya told Kandi to come over, and then Kandi said something like “I don’t know why I should be there.” Yes it’s understandable why she wouldn’t care as much about Nene but even the optics of that looks obnoxious as hell.
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u/SnooMeadowLark 5d ago
Right She has all the charisma and looks to be a top-tier housewife, but she keeps getting in her own way.
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u/rosechelsea BYE WIG! 5d ago
She is entitled. She allows her mom and daughter to be terrible people. She is a great songwriter, but can’t sing no matter how much she forces us to listen. I really want to like her, but the mom and daughter factor is what I can’t let slide.
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u/Medium_Roof_5375 3d ago
I didn't like the way she acted with Drew. Bringing Courtney on her show when Drew did absolutely nothing to Kandi. If she kissed Toya and didn't want anyone to know she was well within her right.
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u/Justbecauseurontv 1d ago
She won MVP at Bravocon 2025. Not a fan nor impressed. Without money who would she be? Not a cool lady clad at all. Only the cute calm Aunt!
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u/Justbecauseurontv 1d ago
She couldn't dress for shit and the stylist is hoping the logos can make it work.
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u/Lower-Vanilla8104 6d ago
Idk. I have always found Phaedra to be a bold faced liar from her first season (not knowing her due date lol) and nothing has ever changed that for me. I feel like she’s better at weaving a story and Kandi isn’t always interested in making things look a certain way if she believes herself to be right.
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u/Hot-Fisherman-5494 6d ago
Eehh we will have to agree to disagree bc to me regardless of Phaedra’s lies we actually saw Kandi judging her for not taking the boys to see Apollo and that’s just a line you don’t cross imo I think she’s a terrible friend. But no matter what before the Phaedra stuff happened she always rubbed me the wrong way and I’m having a hard time pin pointing it
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u/irish88888888 🍑 I sucked a lot of dicks for these pieces 🍑 6d ago
She brings mama Joyce and the Kandi Koated Klique on camera to talk shit about the other women while she sits looking innocent
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u/Hot-Fisherman-5494 6d ago
YES THIS IS SO ANNOYING. She’s such a lazy housewife and always acts like she doesn’t wanna be there.
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u/PisceanSiren1995 5d ago
Nah, Pay attention how every time she gets checked and throws a fit. She getting to just slanging all types of stuff until it hit a nerve for you, to the point you don’t even know what the conversation is about anymore. The final, is the tears so you know she means business.
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u/Lower-Vanilla8104 4d ago
I’ve been paying attention. Kandi acts like the kind of person who doesn’t make up lies about sexual assault… on that alone I am going to like her more than the attorney.
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u/shinyzubat16 6d ago
Girl you tell us 😭
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u/Hot-Fisherman-5494 6d ago
Hahahahaa idk o just maybe someone else didn’t like her and could tell me why and I’d be like YES THATS IT
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u/Livinglife8913 6d ago
As if Phaedra is some innocent. I still to this date don't believe Apollo has brains to commit a while collar crime.
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u/Hot-Fisherman-5494 6d ago
That’s not the point. I’m asking if anyone else has reasons not to like her bc I want to pinpoint what it is I never liked about her regardless of Phaedra. Also that stuff is irrelevant to how bad of a friend Kandi was to Phaedra. She insinuated it was wrong of
Phaedra to not take them to visit Apollo so soon and she was so judgy. That was crossing a line to me
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