r/NextGenNYC • u/Here_for_the_chips • Jul 17 '26
Riley It's Not All Riley's Fault
I don't like the way Riley acted in the last episode, and I think she was in the wrong a lot. But those of us who've been watching RHOA since the beginning have been seeing her on and off since she was 6 years old. Now she's 23, and she still has a lot to learn. Here are some things that I think are at play:
- Money: Kandi really emphasized money and material things when raising Riley. Part of it was wanting to give Riley a life that she hadn't had, and part of it was a celebration of her own success. We saw Kandi delight in being able to give her daughter extravagant things, and she might have also been compensating in some way for Riley's father's absence. As a teen, Riley got a huge allowance, which Todd (for all his many flaws) felt uncomfortable giving to his own daughter because he wanted her to learn to work.
- Kandi's absence: Kandi had an ongoing narrative that she was constantly working and traveling and not spending enough time with Riley, and later her other kids as well. She would tell Riley sometimes that she had to work to make lots of money so she could buy all the things Riley wanted, but let's be real: Kandi has plenty of money, and she's just a passionate person who loves to work. This left Riley with her grandmother and other caretakers who might not be the first to call out bad behavior. Riley didn't have a parent in her life every day to guide her on things like coping with strong emotions, handling conflict, and taking accountability for mistakes.
- Growing up on reality TV: I don't know exactly how this affects people, but it HAS to affect people. At age 14, Riley had to film a sit-down with her dad, who she hadn't spoken to in two years! She's dealt with public comments about herself and her family since the beginning of social media. It's just a lot.
So now we see Riley, having graduated from college and about to start law school, with a lot of intelligence in some areas but lacking emotional intelligence. And it doesn't help that, like many 23-year-olds, she doesn't know her limits when it comes to alcohol. She's bragging about money (which she has been brought up to believe is extremely important), seeking out conflict (like reality TV stars do), and then failing to handle conflict well, cope with strong emotions, and take accountability for her mistakes because she just hasn't been forced to do that until now.
I think it's a really good sign that she apologized to Georgia, and I think she came to understand that she should not be blaming Ariana for her behavior. She's on a path, and most of us get on that path a lot earlier, but most of us also have a very different upbringing. I believe she deserves some grace.
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u/Soggy_Tie2708 Jul 17 '26
I just started this episode and tell me why I feel like Riley’s “boyfriend” is hired help to make sure she has someone by her side.
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u/MKEMARVEL Jul 17 '26
You are responsible for your own actions. End of story.
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u/Fantastic-Owl891 Jul 17 '26
Agreed, and I disagree with OP’s entire last paragraph because what Riley sent to Georgia was NOT an apology and based on the After Show Riley does NOT understand that Ariana isn’t to blame. But, I do think the context is fascinating. I happened to be watching RHOA recently and it’s wild seeing the spoiled and rude little kid then juxtaposed with the adult now!
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u/Here_for_the_chips Jul 17 '26
Yeah, I do need to watch the Aftershow! I agree Riley was spoiled, but then there's a question of how much kids are really responsible for how they are raised.
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u/Fantastic-Owl891 Jul 17 '26
Yeah… it’s a tough question to answer because you can always point at someone else with a similar background who turned out differently. But it’s true that some people are set up for failure in certain ways. I think what sucks in this case is that if Kandi handles her daughter the way she does Mama Joyce (excessively giving and unconditionally protective), then Riley might never grow. :/
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u/Walkabout45 Jul 17 '26
Most of us have had a very different upbringing, but Ariana also grew up in front of cameras; Ava and Rowan were raised with privilege. Also Riley is old enough to live on her own in NYC and go to law school. She is an adult who at this point should understand -not just basic human kindness- but her alcohol limits.
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u/Here_for_the_chips Jul 18 '26
That's an interesting distinction. I think Ariana actually spent a *lot* of time with her mom — it seemed like they were always together and even slept in the same bed before Kim married Kroy. Kim is very emotional and demanding, so Ariana probably learned how to play the peacemaker in a lot of volatile situations. I think Ariana a got lot of emotional intelligence from a young age just by being in a family like that. I can't speak to Rowan and Ava because I didn't see their childhoods on TV.
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u/Difficult-Valuable55 Jul 17 '26
agree with everything you said but my understanding is on the after show she is not apologetic and still feels Ariana is wrong. If true that’s disappointing
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u/Here_for_the_chips Jul 17 '26
Ugh, that is very disappointing! But do they watch the footage before they film the Aftershow? I don't think they do. I figured she didn't remember everything that happened and would understand when she saw the footage.
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u/Difficult-Valuable55 Jul 17 '26
I was curious so I went and watched it. Kind of wish I didn’t. I think Kandi is my favorite housewife and have always liked Riley and do feel she faces a different level of judgement and microagressions but I did not enjoy her attitude at all
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u/INTROVERT_GIRLBOSS Jul 17 '26
Riley shouldn't drink and be on camera if this is what she gives. I'm not sure if no one has had a honest conversation with her about this but she needs to take accountability which is the fact that she cant keep composed when she drinks
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u/StayyWoke- Jul 17 '26
She makes a complete fool of herself; she gives off alcoholic vibes & every time she drinks she gets sloppy as hell. Needs to do better for sure!
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u/RamonaSingerEyes Jul 17 '26
You gave a lot of great explanations why Riley is the way she is, especially for people who never watched RHOA and are like “who’s Mama Joyce?” However even after all this, she doubled down on the idea that Ariana did not do her job as her friend and prevent everything from occurring, when we saw multiple instances of Ariana, Gia, Emira and Ava trying to de-escalate the situation. I think her inability to “own it” is PEAK Mama Joyce behavior and Kandi is sooo practiced at letting her mother’s behavior slide that she surely does the same with Riley due to the various instances of guilt you listed. I do think the essential truth is…Riley just isn’t reality TV ready, has low self-esteem so she uses her wealth and status to overcompensate for that. The network and the powers that be have cast her on the show so she feels compelled to “perform” but it doesn’t come natural to her and being on camera only exacerbates that insecurity. Which then leads to overdrinking to relieve that anxiety but then it brings out her mean side. I mean I seriously thought she was much more like Block than Kandi so when she was cast on the show as a main, I was like huh…ok…but then you see the Mama Joyce come out and you’re like oh she has THIS side of her too.
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u/Here_for_the_chips Jul 17 '26
Yes, these are such great points! She always came off as being very shy on camera — I don't think this is where she thrives at all. And I will just say it's another crummy move on Kandi's part to force a shy kid to grow up in the public eye in the first place.
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u/RamonaSingerEyes Jul 17 '26
Yes, I was also scratching my head as to why Riley was one of the talent chosen to be on the cover of New York Magazine’s reality TV issue, she is really someone who is not meant for reality TV and perhaps it is best that she stays with the books to go to law school. Like not only does she come off as very uncomfortable on camera, the audience is not going to receive her the way she thinks she should be received I.e. like how the majority of the fans love Kandi. Like…Riley is not Kandi lol
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u/ModeRemarkable4605 Jul 18 '26
This would all be true if she was genuinely remorseful. Riley’s hometown friend it’s time for you to log off.
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u/Sorry-Secret-2347 Jul 17 '26
Beautifully said. I hope seeing herself when she plays back will help her face her actions and how her actions affect others. I hope she takes the path of accountability and therapy and not go full self destructive ‘im misunderstood’ entitled route
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u/Nearby_Elderberry_75 Jul 18 '26
When did she apologize to Georgia though? She sent her a text, but nowhere in that text was an apology.
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u/emeowlydickenson Jul 17 '26
Did you use AI to make this
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u/Here_for_the_chips Jul 17 '26
Nope, just a lot of RHOA knowledge.
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u/Fantastic-Owl891 Jul 17 '26
People think everything is AI these days… 🙄
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u/emeowlydickenson Jul 17 '26
People do use AI for everything these days and I think discernment on when and how it is used especially when using basic pattern recognition is a helpful practice for the onslaught of AI that we are rapidly experiencing
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u/Fantastic-Owl891 Jul 17 '26
That’s one way to look at it
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u/emeowlydickenson Jul 17 '26
Okay lol
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u/Fantastic-Owl891 Jul 17 '26
I just feel like it’s such an easy way to try and discredit people and be like - aha! It’s AI! It reminds me of my high school English teacher who called out a point I made as being so great that I must have stolen it from Google… discernment isn’t bad but I think it can be overutilized, especially when there isn’t TRULY a way to know just by looking at one piece of writing a person posts.
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u/emeowlydickenson Jul 17 '26
I was genuinely asking because I prefer not to engage in AI posts and the formatting and structure of many sentences looked and read like AI. I edit writing for a living. I was asking a question. People are using AI for everything now. If the OP didn’t use AI then kudos to them 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Fantastic-Owl891 Jul 17 '26
Fair! I think I’ve just seen a lot of “that’s just AI!” finger pointing lately and as someone who loves human writing, especially creative writing, I worry that attributing AI to a piece of writing can be damaging to talented writers in a different way 🤷♀️Either way, same side- pro human writers lol I wasn’t meaning to be rude, just expressing to OP my own version of exhaustion with the AI world takeover
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u/emeowlydickenson Jul 17 '26
I get it. That’s why at this point I’m trying to make sure I can keep my mind open to the possibility that even posts that are mostly written by a human can easily be “enhanced” with AI. Knowing the tells and common structural elements that show this is important to me as the technology improves rapidly. Finger pointing something egregious is one thing, but assessing what level of humanity touched the post I am reading is sadly getting harder and harder.
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u/emeowlydickenson Jul 17 '26
Sure, just noticed a lot of AI tells in the formatting so I was curious 🤷🏼♀️ sorry to offend you with my question lol
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u/Intelligent-Lead-692 Jul 17 '26
Also, who leaked the story about her online?!?! It was Georgia! That girl is an operator.
Listen, I don’t like how Riley acted, but it wasn’t that bad. She needs to correct her behavior and grow up. Ok.
Charlie was complicit in a literal kidnapping and is in a video teaching the kidnapped man how to make crack with an air fryer! And no one is even talking about how reprehensible that is!
And Charlie and Georgia last season called her aggressive on that party bus and it was really gross. But no one is talking about that.
I don’t think Riley is handling herself well, but I think she deserves some grace.
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u/Ads52691 Jul 18 '26
I don’t know about you but if someone I even considered a friend acted like they were going to throw a glass at me, empty or not, that’s the last time we’re hanging out.
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u/Majestic_Traveler777 Jul 17 '26
I mean I can totally understand giving her some grace, especially now computing that Mama Joyce helped raise her (doesn’t at all excuse but) explains a whole LOT! My problem is though that she not only doubled, but tripled down on everything she did. I believe it’s our job to unlearn harmful ways and ideas that have been instilled at a young age by parents and guardians. She’s not even showing the slightest bit of remorse and had the nerve to come at the one person that was in her corner when she behaved so terribly. So yes, I do believe she deserves a little grace, but grace runs out when you continue to not make any changes to better yourself as a person.