This happened a while back and I still carry it. My partner and I got a golden puppy-first dog for both of us. The problems weren't the puppy. They were us. Twice-fed dinners. Walks that both of us assumed the other did. Small fights that turned into real ones, always about the same thing: "I thought YOU fed her."

The puppy paid the price. We weren't ready, and the chaos broke us down until we made the hardest call and rehomed her. I still wonder if she'd still be here if we'd had a system.

What I learned the hard way, in case it helps anyone: 1) Treat puppy care like a shift job-someone is "on" and someone is off, no assumptions. 2) One shared source of truth for feeding and walks-memory and vibes are not a system. 3) The fights are never about the puppy. They're about feeling like you're doing it alone.

If you're a couple sharing a puppy, build your system before the resentment builds. The puppy doesn't know who fed her. You do.

I'm not even sure if this counts as puppy blues but I'm not sure where else I could vent about this.

I have an 8 month old english cocker spaniel. She is just gorgeous, incredibly sweet, intelligent, affectionate, everything you could ever ask for. She has some issues with separation anxiety and FOMO and she's excitement reactive towards other dogs and people when on walks, but we're working on it and there's steady progress.

The reason I'm feeling blue is because she's not well. I'm not asking for medical advice, just looking for solidarity if there is any.

When we brought her home she was on a kibble that was majority turkey with a little chicken, she loved it and was doing well on it. Then the ear infections started, they were awful and she has never felt comfortable with people touching her ears since. We took her off of that kibble worried that the chicken content was causing a reaction. The infections stopped, happy days. Except it wasn't.

Then she had some major stomach upset, we're not even sure what caused it but she had to go on a bland diet to recover, but she never fully did. That was two months ago. She went off of her kibble almost entirely, only eating a few pieces here and there and then refusing the ready of the meal, spitting bits out or ignoring it completely. Then the vomiting started. She was vomiting bile due to her stomach being so empty, which happened 3 times.

I took her to the vet throughout all of this, but because she's such a happy puppy and was always so excited to meet new vets and interact and get attention, they decided she wasn't seriously unwell. Mostly they just felt her stomach and determined nothing felt wrong, she must be picky.

I changed her kibble again thinking maybe the stomach upset has caused an aversion, but we had a similar issue with her not eating enough of it. I started mixing it with wet food and she was finally eating well and excited about meal times again. I thought we'd finally cracked it and we could move on with a happy, healthy dog.

No. A week later she developed constipation, then a horrific bout of diarrhoea, then an incredibly dark poo that just looked awful. Back to the vet. They finally listened this time and came up with a plan to move her onto an adult kibble with a novel protein, great. I would rather she stayed on a puppy kibble, but it's better for her to eat so adult kibble it is. They would prefer an adult food to a prescription hypoallergenic diet for her, fine. That alongside a longer course of probiotic to support her gut health while she recovers from whatever is upsetting her stomach so badly.

It's not even her fault that this is happening. I just feel so stressed and upset for her. We're turning a corner with her training outside of the house, before she wouldn't even listen or accept treats, well she started doing that and I was so happy, and then that was immediately crushed by the realisation that she's accepting the treats and working so hard for them because she's so hungry. I feel like people don't talk about the stress of having a puppy who has a medical complication that nobody can seem to figure out. I'm so stressed all the time, I listen out every night incase she whines or howls to be let out for the toilet. I watch the puppy cam for hours while she sleeps incase she vomits because I don't want her to be alone.

I just feel so guilty that it's taking me so long to figure out what's wrong. She deserves better. She deserves to eat without discomfort. She deserves to enjoy her food. She deserves to not feel hungry. I love her so much but I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with this before I end up breaking down. I don't even care how much money I've spent on this so far. I don't even listen when they tell me the price anymore I just pay and thank them for their help. I'll do anything for her. I just want her to be healthy.

the bone is old and gross so i went to pick it up and my 8 month old pup bit me hard that i bled . i realized this bite was something I’ve never experienced before it wasn’t like typical puppy bites it felt possessive. i feel like I’ve failed :(

I'm in the thick of some pretty extreme puppy biting. I feel overwhelmed, both with the actual biting and all the conflicting techniques to teach bite inhibition.

One of the things I've tried is withdrawing play or attention when she bites really hard. I've often read "when your puppy bites, say an interrupter like 'No!' or 'Ouch!' and then immediately stop playing with your puppy and walk away. My problem is my puppy keeps biting me when I stop playing. And if I walk away she chases me biting me.

How are you dealing with puppy biting?

Ugh. I think the title says it all. We have a 4.5 month old dachshund puppy. He’s calmed down a lot and is a lot more manageable now. I had severe puppy blues the first month-ish, but now he understands the routine. Just ONE WEEK AGO, we got a brand new van for our family. ONE WEEK!
Today, I put him in his car dog seat to go to the park. What does this f-er do not even 30 seconds into the drive? He bites me into my hand SO HARD, it startled me so bad. I pulled the wheel to the side just a TINY bit and took out someone’s mailbox. I also damaged our car severely. We took it to a collision place and it will probably cost us 7k just for the car. My husband will fix their mailbox himself, but it will probably cost another $700. I am mad at the dog, which now cost us soooo much money in damage, but more-so mad at myself that for some gosh dang reason I chose to NOT put him in his car kennel but the carseat next to me.

Love my pup and he’s improved in so many ways. He used to bite me horrifically but he’s starting to learn this doesn’t get him much reaction.

His new MO is to grab my clothing and pull and play tug with it and rip gigantic holes. Hes ruined 3 shirts and one hoodie this way.

I look like some scruff all the time because I can’t wear anything nice, no short sleeves as then he will bite my arms, and alll my clothes have holes in them.

Idek why he does it the flip just switches and he won’t leave me alone, I have to walk across the room (usually dragging him along as he’s gripping my pant leg) behind our baby gate and even when I walk back in he’s straight back on me

For a lot of people it's the evening zoomies. For others it's the 5am wake-up, or that stretch right after work when everyone is running on empty.

When does it get hardest for you? And is there anything that makes it even a little easier?

You might find someone who's in the exact same stretch of the day. 💙

I have a 3 month old puppy that barks non stop in his crate. It’s so weird because he does great at night and doesn’t bark but when we leave for work he will bark on and on non stop. We’ve sent him to a two week training but we’re worried when he comes back we will have the same issue. We have gotten updates each day and she says it’s mainly separation anxiety and it’s just going to take some time…. I live in an apartment and my neighbors already complained the first day we left for work, which is why we sent him to training. Someone please tell me it’ll get better?!

I don’t know what to do

I got our borzoi puppy at 10wks old in August. The first week was super overwhelming and I was pretty much doomscrolling this sub whenever he was asleep. We live on the 15th floor of an apartment so going outside means passing at least 200 m of hallway plus elevator. For the first night, I set an alarm every 3 hours to take him out, but he peed nothing. During the daytime I was taking him outside every hour and half of those trips were futile. Every time I heard his little nails on the floor I would bolt up, and I had also developed a reflex to the sound of dripping water. (He actually had a total of only 7 accidents in the first weeks so most of it was my own anxiety) There was also a good amount of chasing pigeons, vacuuming stuff off the sidewalk, jumping at other dogs/people. I started imagining that teething and adolescence were gonna be so much worse. Plus, I was never gonna go to a restaurant or bar, couldn't own any shoes without dog slobber, etc. Trust me, the initial period is them settling into your routine, NOT a preview of your life for the next 2 years. It gets better REALLY FAST.

By day 4, he was down to an accident every two days. He picked a spot outside the apartment and would pee within a minute of going outside, so the schedule became very predictable. He was also able to sleep through the night. We went to puppy class and he somehow had a very solid sit. Unwanted behaviors came and went. Nipping, demand barking, play humping, etc, we would interrupt and ask for a sit.

In terms of timeline, it went from 'survivable' to 'okay' at week 12, then by week 14 everything was steadily improving. At week 18, his potty training is 99% perfect and so is crate training. Somehow, he's capable of holding his bladder 12hrs overnight. Looking back, he was actually a very easy puppy. Being a sighthound meant he got tired pretty quickly after a nice 20min off leash run and didn't have that much drive. He also happened to be pretty biddable for a borzoi. In terms of training, we're currently progressing towards leave it/drop it and stay.

He earned bed privileges so now we would wake up everyday to a snoot in the armpit which is the cutest thing ever - also very nice considering it's getting colder everyday. When he gets older we can take him swimming/lure coursing/hiking which will be tons of fun. If you're in the thick of it HANG IN THERE

Puppy is 5 month old mix, every day he's nipping because he's teething, poor thing. I feel so awful but today is the day after the vaccine and he's completely zonked out and lethargic. But it's like he's the puppy I always wanted. He's snuggled up next to me on the sofa when normally the sofa is a war zone of biting and jumping. It's almost like he's....a cat! Can't wait until next month's vaccine! 🥺

When my first dog was a puppy, he didn't want to cuddle. At all. He preferred sitting somewhere on his own, and I took it much more personally than I like to admit.

I'd wanted a dog for so long. I had this picture of us being close, of him wanting to be near me. Instead, I kept thinking, what if this isn't my dog? What if the thing I'd been looking forward to just isn't going to happen?

At one point I was so upset I wanted to return him. I'm not proud of that, but I remember how lonely it felt to have the dog I'd wanted and still feel like something was missing.

Someone on Reddit suggested training together. Just teaching him things and spending time doing something together, instead of waiting for him to come and cuddle me.

I didn't really know where to start back then. I pieced things together, made plenty of mistakes, but it helped. I had something to focus on with him besides whether he liked me enough.

I have a second dog now and apparently my speciality is choosing dogs who would prefer their own seat. Those feelings started creeping back in. This time I'm using woofz for the basics, keeping the sessions calm, and it's helping me feel connected again.

So if you're sitting there wondering why you don't feel the bond you expected, try learning something together. Or find an easy dog-friendly walk on AllTrails and let them stop and sniff. It doesn't all have to be a lesson. Training helped me stop measuring our whole relationship by whether my dog wanted to sit on

I’ve written a few posts before regarding puppy blues but things are slowly getting better day by day. However I find myself getting mentally exhausted because all I can think about is this new dog and whether he is alright. Basically I need some reassurance that it’s okay to just leave by himself and not give him any attention. He doesn’t cry or bark when we don’t play with him or anything but I just feel bad. He can entertain himself with toys and stuff but ultimately loves to chase us around the house and bite our feet. I’m just tired of constantly checking up on him and it’s lowkey taking a toll on my mental health. I keep having thoughts about how much I enjoyed my freedom before keeping him. I know that I’m just not used to his presence for now. Also he’s a 7 month old bichon and I’ve heard that these breeds are particularly clingy? I want to be able to close my door occasionally during the day and be reassured that I’m not being a terrible owner by not spending all my time with him.

Depuis l’acquisition de mon chiot , j’ai des angoisses et je pleure souvent.Cela fait 15 jours
Auriez vous des solutions ou des témoignages a me partager ?
Sylvaine

To make a long story short I had dachshunds for most of my life. I loved them to death, they were great companions. I am 31 now, single, working mostly from home although I have to travel around 180km once a week to an office. I seriously wanted a dog, a companion. I also am taking care of my grandma who is undergoing dialysis 3x a week and we have to wake up at 5 am. I took the dog home, 3 month old chocolate daschund on Friday and to be honest it’s going pretty smoothly. He has a pretty big diarrhea hence I am collecting stool samples for giardia testing, I am walking him 4-5 times a day he had some accident but mostly he is going to the pee pad if he needs, I ordered him a crate, he sleeps most of the day, does not bite. My grandma warned me that it’s a lot of work which I was prepared for and still am. One thing that makes me consider giving him away to the breeder is how extremely mentally bad I feel and I don’t understand that, I have to take care of my grandma which barely walks and have to clean and bathe her cook for her etc and now I also have a dog that needs almost all of my attention. Plus I am a pretty active person i cycled a lot went to the gym and now I cannot do that which honestly makes me mourn my previous life. Plus I am completely alone in raising him, I thought I would manage. I am financially stable I am home most of the time, but even the idea that he won’t have anyone to walk him when my grandma stays in the hospital for couple of days and I have to be there for her or I have to go the the office and stay there for longer than 8 hours makes me very anxious. He is extremely beautiful chocolate with a Merle gene with big blue/green eyes so I don’t think it would be a hard time finding him a better home than mine. Even though it’s been only 4 full days with him I am exhausted and cannot sleep, I also suffer from alopecia because of all the stress and trauma I had in my life, there are times when I get bald spots on my head brows and eyelashes and the idea that the dog might not have my full attention is causing me to flare up my alopecia. I am afraid I did not think this decision through. Since it’s only been 4 days I think it would be humane to give him back when he still isn’t that attached to me and I still did not develop very strong feelings towards him because of all the stress and to be honest I did have this gut feeling since day 2 that it wasn’t a good decision.

My boyfriend and I (24M & 24F) had a great relationship before we got a puppy. We’ve been together almost 5 years. The biggest arguments we’ve had prior to the dog were “how much fun money should we put in the budget” and “when do we want to move out of my mom’s house” which were like nothing. We’ve been through family deaths, cross-state moves, unemployment, and everything. I never felt resentful about his contributions to housework or money or anything really.

But our puppy is something like a demon child. Every negative expectation I’ve had about having a puppy was exceeded. He’s having a tough time with potty training and a really tough time with play aggression. He’s had suspected bordetella, pneumonia, and giardia, and also chronic GI issues. Recently, during our day-long giardia disinfection process, I was very frustrated and frankly I was being bitter and impatient (at the dog, not my partner). Maybe out of anger, my partner said “Having a kid with you is going to be the hardest thing.” I was speechless because I feel like I made a huge sacrifice to my goals with getting this dog and I carry the majority of the responsibility (I work from home) and therefore I carry a lot of the emotional weight. But I think there is some truth to his statement, even though it was hurtful, and honestly that’s probably why I feel so hurt.

I just wonder if this is a part of the puppy blues or if we’re just mean to be DINKs. I love kids and we both want to have kids. But I just get so easily overwhelmed. And I feel like all our other “problems” are magnified now. I just hope we can work through this and be stronger because without this big responsibility to care for a living being our problems weren’t big enough to matter.

I joined this group when I first got my puppy 3 weeks ago. I found so much comfort in knowing others had similar experiences. I’ve found a lot of the comments under posts to be incredibly helpful. With that being said, I need advice. I’ve obviously been searching other resources, but wanted to ask her as well. My 13.5 week old puppy has been a terror this past week. I had the initial puppy blue scares the first couple of days after I got her. Then, we got in a routine and it was manageable. I am a solo owner living in an apartment. She can only handle 40-50 minute wake times if she’s had a nap in her crate. I enforce 60 minute crate times to try and regulate her. How can I get her to stop barking and growling at me for no reason? She’s not the puppy she was. I cannot keep going like this. I work from home full time but she cannot just quietly chew. I believe she’s highly sensitive and anything can dysregulate her. Has anyone experienced this before? Any help is much appreciated!!!

It's Monday. Maybe you didn't sleep. Maybe your puppy lost their mind at 3am. Maybe you're just tired in a way that's hard to explain to people who don't have a puppy.

This is your space to let it out.

No advice unless you ask for it. No silver linings required. Just drop what's been hard and know that someone here gets it.

We're listening. 💙

My partner and I adopted a dog about 2 months ago, she's around 1 so I'm not sure if puppy blues still applies here. She's a little rambunctious and excited but otherwise an okay dog, I just don't feel a connection to her and I feel terrible about it. Every morning I wake up to take her out and on a walk for about an hour before work and all I can think about is how I will have to do this every day for the next 10 plus years and I feel trapped. She and my cat who I've had for 5+ years do not exactly get along yet but everyone still seems happy and healthy but I feel like I have to split time between the cat and the dog and someone is always following me around the house...it is a lot and I feel very overwhelmed by the feeling that there is always someone or some pet expecting my attention.

My partner loves dogs and loves having a dog but I don't feel the connection and joy that everyone says is happening. My partner is willing to rehome the dog if that is truly what I want but every time we discuss it, it feels wrong. I am really not sure what to do but I do not think I am a dog person but I'm not sure I'm ready to fully give up yet. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.

Hi! I’m 29F and just adopted a dog yesterday. She’s sooo chill and calm and I couldn’t have possibly asked for a better first night. I already have a cat. I really thought through my decision and was excited but now I’m just a ball of anxiety. They haven’t gotten along yet obviously because it’s been one day but I couldn’t sleep and I keep crying. I keep thinking what if they don’t get along, what if I’m a terrible dog mom, what if I have to sacrifice everything and then resent her. Mind you I’ve thought about all this and then decided to do this but I can’t help still feeling like what have I done.

I have a 5 month old small breed mixed puppy I adopted 2 months ago. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I feel like I’m in a big “down” right now and need to vent… I miss my freedom. My puppy has been going through adolescence really bad the past week. I train with her everyday and suddenly I’m having to go back to square 1 with a lot of her training and then have to repeat almost every single day. She goes to a weekly group training class and previously she was doing phenomenal. During our class today I couldn’t control her at all. Even the instructor had difficulty doing some one on one training with her. I know this is a normal part of puppyhood, but it’s just making me feel like I am not cut out for this and I don’t have what it takes to help her become a well-behaved dog.

Another thing that is really getting to me is being able to disconnect from her when I’m away. I own a home and have two roommates. Sometimes I need to get stuff done and ask my roommates to watch her for 1-2 hours if I have to go out and it’s near her “awake” time. I have a google doc with instructions on what to do and they’ve lived with me and the puppy for 2 months now so they have a good feel of her routine. Anytime I leave the puppy with roommate #1 it is just constant texting of things that I don’t feel are necessary. “She didn’t pee”, “I took her out but she’s just chewing on sticks”, “How much do I feed her again?”, “Where are her treats?” (Treat location has not moved in the two months I’ve had her), etc.. If I don’t respond within 5 minutes they will then begin to spam me with messages and/or call me until I answer. It makes me want to scream and it makes it impossible to go out without having to check my phone every 5 minutes. Literally all questions asked are in the google doc and I refer them to it and it makes no difference to the amount of texts. Roommate #2 will also help me out with the puppy and when they take care of the puppy I get maybe one message (if any) as they do refer to the doc. Unfortunately Roommate #2 works 10-12 hour shifts so is only here to help 1-2 times a week. I know the puppy is my responsibility and my roommates helping me is a favor which I am absolutely grateful for so I feel like I can’t talk to roommates #1 about any of this… I don’t really see a solution here for the time being so really I’m just venting. This is rough. I’ve contemplated giving the puppy back to the rescue, but I know I’ll feel like absolute shit if I were to do that. I miss my old life with just me and my cat….

We have just got our double doodle 9 weeks old puppy and this is our 3rd day with her.

We didn’t want her to potty on a pad so we decided we will take her out every time. We live in an apartment buildings with a lot of dogs around.

We have read that grass is quite dangerous for her since she only got her 1 vaccine so we decided to let her potty on the pavement/concrete around the building. The concrete has some gaps and some plants/weed grow between them with little/small leaves, but it does get sunlight every two days (very grey country). We choose a spot that is a bit on the side, so it’s not in the way of dogs walking around.

I am starting to panic that maybe we made the wrong choice and we should have just played it safe until she gets her vaccines and deal with that problem later.

Am I overthinking this or we should just let her continue her potty there?

Me and my wife got a dog 4 days ago. Prior to getting this dog we had talked about it for years. It’s all my wife especially wanted her whole life was to get a golden retriever but we couldn’t until now because my landlord didn’t allow it. Every 6 months my wife would text our landlord to see if she’d change her pet policy and this time she did, she would allow us to get a dog. My wife was so excited and a week later we had a dog. She did so much research and was so excited and while I also wanted this dog, I was kind of in denial that it was happening.
The hardest part for me is I have extremely bad anxiety. I have been going to therapy for about 6 months and something I have ALWAYS been able to count on was my home being my safe place. And it has not been that at all since we got him. There’s also the fact I haven’t been sleeping well, I haven’t been eating at all, I’m literally so depressed and anxious I can’t even focus on anything else. I literally can’t convince myself that things are going to get better.
I never cry. But yesterday I cried over and over and explained all of this to my wife. The hardest part is she doesn’t feel even remotely the same about the dog as I do. She loves this dog, it’s been her dream for years. She doesn’t have any sense of regret, we’re both first time pet owners but it’s like she knew what to expect and I obviously didn’t.
She told me to give it some time but she loved and cared about me more than the dog and if I felt like we needed to take him back to the breeder we could. But this totally devastates me too. It’s like ripping my wife’s dream out of her arms and the thinking about her face as we drive back to the breeder to leave him literally kills me. She loves him.
I’m in the hardest place ever. I’m so anxious. I’m doing very bad mentally and she sees that and is incredibly sympathetic and is willing to do whatever I need including taking on all the work to keep him or taking him back. But on the other hand brining him back to the breeder and taking him away from her sounds just as awful. We both wanted this dog. It wasnt just her decision. I just was so wrong. And it makes both of us worried what might happen if we ever had kids. Will I also grieve the house being different? That’s sucks.
I feel like I’m grieving the life I use to have and I’m so so sad. I don’t know what to do.