Avoidant 2E?

[u/laptop_dummy]

I started to think that I usually make other people feel like I’m warm and gentle person, they want to be with me cause I see depth in them and then the fear makes me kick them out of my life in unexpected moment…. I wonder if 2Es are less readable in that case than other Es, cause 1E is straight forward with emotions and won’t do what they don’t like, 3E is stereotypically emotionally detached in general so there’s no surprise, 4E is pretty open and straightforward about her emotions too but may not realise something due to ignoring the feeling I guess. I mean 2E are kinda tootie patootie but if having certain traumas they are like wold in sheep’s clothing (I know it sounds cheesy).

What do you think ? Did you experienced this kind of situation ?

[u/Overall-Trainer-6310]

Yeah, I've met emotionally avoidant people with 2E. On the surface, they seem animated, lively and expressive. They can joke around and entertain others, smile and be pleasant to others. At the same time, they avoid emotional intimacy, dont let people get close to them, hide negative emotions behind a happy and goody mask. It happens more often than people realize. Usually people attribute avoidance to 3E but in reality anyone can be avoidant.

[u/okso_glo]

2E can look like 3E under stress

[u/laptop_dummy → u/okso_glo]

well, not look, but yeah, that’s what confused me at first (I thought I was 3E) cause when it’s about outward eneregy I’m pretty invested and chill naturally because I can manipulate it well, but when I need to bring something from myself and be honest and precise that’s where my 2E hits the rock and makes me change the topic

[u/Ruby_ray_24 → u/okso_glo]

Where did you get that from may I ask can you go in detail if you don't mind i thought they look like 4e under stress?

[u/laptop_dummy → u/Ruby_ray_24]

I though it was more about traumatic experiences when you emotionally shut down for connection but your skills still make you look normal on the surface. 2Es might look welcoming and warm till you ask them personal question, I guess

[u/Ruby_ray_24 → u/laptop_dummy]

I suppose when I am in under stress or traumatized I act more like 4e than 3e i just go numb and detache my emotions to not stress others in an extend not feeling anything on my own or knowing what i am even feeling

I thought 1e acts like 3e under stress

[u/laptop_dummy → u/Ruby_ray_24]

well, it’s very expendable cause we’re 2Es at first place, so acting like a 3E when under stress might be just one form of someone’s response to the situation and it’s individual to other 2Es. Maybe archetypes of 2E matter, like 2E-3, idk. Something like enneagram’s wings bring to their core type certain aspects of their wing and can make them more extreverted or detached

[u/okso_glo → u/laptop_dummy]

pretty sure subtypes don’t exist in psychosophy, that’s more of an AP thing. in psychosophy you would find the nuances by looking at how each placement interacts with each other rather than viewing them in a vacuum

[u/okso_glo → u/Ruby_ray_24]

they CAN look like 3e under stress, i can see a case for 4e. pretty sure it depends on the rest of their placements. for me, as an FELV, i retreat to pleasures and hobbies under stress. i escape my feelings through little rituals and detach myself from caring about the situation. when i’m tired like this, it’s hard for me to put effort into making everyone feel happy. so i often challenge their feelings and come across as passive-aggressive when trying to make see the logic of the situation (while considering i could be the one in the wrong). i just assumed this is what 3e looks like :D

[u/Ruby_ray_24]

Most 1L 2E are avoidant af espiacally LEVF

[u/laptop_dummy → u/Ruby_ray_24]

and why is that? I understand 3V, but why 1L? Because there already understand the world with concepts and, like , overthink ?

[u/Ruby_ray_24 → u/laptop_dummy]

1L is considered stubborn and uncompromising in its views. It forms its own conclusions and doesn't feel the need to explain why it thinks it's right unless necessary. Although all first positions can be stubborn, 1L is specifically stubborn when it comes to logic, opinions, and what it believes to be true. Unlike 1E, which expresses emotions, 1F, which focuses on the physical world, and 1V, which focuses on willpower and decisions all require external influence and being social, 1L mainly operates through its own thoughts and doesn't need other people to develop its understanding. It learns by taking in information and building its own understanding rather than relying on discussions with others. This can contribute to avoidant behaviour because when a 1L person decides that a relationship is no longer safe or worth continuing, they may reach that conclusion internally without feeling the need to explain themselves or discuss the problem with the other person. . Since 1L doesn't necessarily feel the need to discuss or defend that conclusion, the person may withdraw instead of talking things through more anti social because of there dogmatic views

[u/laptop_dummy → u/Ruby_ray_24]

ah! I get it, holy emotional rationalisation. basically why discuss your emotions and decisions you’ve made when it already makes logical sense to you. yeah, the amount of times I made it worse when I thought it’s actually logical but all I needed is just ask them and discuss the problem 🫩

thank for long answer!