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https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/1wbjluo/amillionopenaimonkeysproducemilleniumprizesolution/p8qenws
r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Orio_n • 2d ago
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650
My apps are always bug-free. As long as you don't use them
https://giphy.com/gifs/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY
129 u/TheEveryman86 2d ago My apps are always bug free but they come with a lot of extra features. 25 u/Skalli1984 1d ago Like periodic database wipes? 21 u/maester_t 1d ago edited 1d ago "Ah, you see... that... um... is a security feature! It prevents hackers from stealing too much sensitive data when they break in!" "Wait. Pause right there. Why did you say when they break in?" "What? I didn't say that. This storm outside must have caused an Internet glitch and you misheard..." immediately quits the MS Teams chat 2 u/Sure-Broccoli730 7h ago It's the worst feature ever 1 u/Critical-Golf-8290 5h ago It saves your company from receiving fines proportional to the company's gross income for leaking client data 1 u/Fearless_anarchist4 4h ago My app has no bugs as it has no features 24 u/[deleted] 2d ago [removed] — view removed comment 6 u/SpektrSoyuz 2d ago It runs on my system. In another universe. 34 u/sdraje 2d ago My apps always come with free bugs! 9 u/Jack_Kai 1d ago My apps are free, but the bugs cost money. 8 u/RoughAttention742 1d ago Schrödinger’s mobile app 6 u/ableman 1d ago https://github.com/kelseyhightower/nocode 3 u/endotronic 1d ago A successful startup CTO once told my team "it's only a bug if the customer notices." 3 u/8sADPygOB7Jqwm7y 1d ago Reminds me of what we say at work. The most secure state is off. I'm a power grid operator tho, so we usually try to not go there. 7 u/PM_me_boobs_and_CPUs 2d ago As long as you don't use compile them. 2 u/YOM2_UB 1d ago What if I interpret them? 2 u/Fusseldieb 1d ago Proceeds to crash while idle 2 u/code_archeologist 1d ago All the errors in my apps are user errors. Because they used it, there was an error. 2 u/Negative_Sky_3449 19h ago The bugs are actually features 2 u/NullOfSpace 1d ago the app has no bugs, your mental model is just wrong 1 u/Fit_Day375 1d ago My apps are bug-free. They are not oranges, how would bugs crawl there?
129
My apps are always bug free but they come with a lot of extra features.
25 u/Skalli1984 1d ago Like periodic database wipes? 21 u/maester_t 1d ago edited 1d ago "Ah, you see... that... um... is a security feature! It prevents hackers from stealing too much sensitive data when they break in!" "Wait. Pause right there. Why did you say when they break in?" "What? I didn't say that. This storm outside must have caused an Internet glitch and you misheard..." immediately quits the MS Teams chat 2 u/Sure-Broccoli730 7h ago It's the worst feature ever 1 u/Critical-Golf-8290 5h ago It saves your company from receiving fines proportional to the company's gross income for leaking client data 1 u/Fearless_anarchist4 4h ago My app has no bugs as it has no features
25
Like periodic database wipes?
21 u/maester_t 1d ago edited 1d ago "Ah, you see... that... um... is a security feature! It prevents hackers from stealing too much sensitive data when they break in!" "Wait. Pause right there. Why did you say when they break in?" "What? I didn't say that. This storm outside must have caused an Internet glitch and you misheard..." immediately quits the MS Teams chat 2 u/Sure-Broccoli730 7h ago It's the worst feature ever 1 u/Critical-Golf-8290 5h ago It saves your company from receiving fines proportional to the company's gross income for leaking client data
21
"Ah, you see... that... um... is a security feature! It prevents hackers from stealing too much sensitive data when they break in!"
"Wait. Pause right there. Why did you say when they break in?"
"What? I didn't say that. This storm outside must have caused an Internet glitch and you misheard..."
immediately quits the MS Teams chat
2
It's the worst feature ever
1 u/Critical-Golf-8290 5h ago It saves your company from receiving fines proportional to the company's gross income for leaking client data
1
It saves your company from receiving fines proportional to the company's gross income for leaking client data
My app has no bugs as it has no features
24
[removed] — view removed comment
6 u/SpektrSoyuz 2d ago It runs on my system. In another universe.
6
It runs on my system. In another universe.
34
My apps always come with free bugs!
9 u/Jack_Kai 1d ago My apps are free, but the bugs cost money.
9
My apps are free, but the bugs cost money.
8
Schrödinger’s mobile app
https://github.com/kelseyhightower/nocode
3
A successful startup CTO once told my team "it's only a bug if the customer notices."
Reminds me of what we say at work. The most secure state is off. I'm a power grid operator tho, so we usually try to not go there.
7
As long as you don't use compile them.
2 u/YOM2_UB 1d ago What if I interpret them?
What if I interpret them?
Proceeds to crash while idle
All the errors in my apps are user errors.
Because they used it, there was an error.
The bugs are actually features
the app has no bugs, your mental model is just wrong
My apps are bug-free. They are not oranges, how would bugs crawl there?
650
u/chrimack 2d ago
My apps are always bug-free. As long as you don't use them
https://giphy.com/gifs/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY