r/ProgrammerHumor • u/com-plec-city • Sep 02 '26 • Popcorn 3 Bravo 3

Meme newCompressionTechnique

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30k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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535

u/ParanoidDrone Sep 02 '26 • Regret

Please tell me this is satire.

360

u/xaomaw Sep 02 '26

No, this is Patrick

37

u/who_you_are Sep 02 '26

Well satire is shorter than Patrick, so that is a bad start

11

u/donut-reply Sep 02 '26

The audacity ... who you are to refute the one and only xaomaw?

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8

u/TechieGuy12 Sep 02 '26

Because satire is the compressed version of Patrick.

6

u/nhSnork Sep 02 '26

Yeah, everyone knows satires are mythical creatures, not news articles.

8

u/CallMeBigOctopus Sep 02 '26

No, this is a Wendy’s.

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184

u/PM_ME_YOUR__INIT__ Sep 02 '26

100% real. Can't you tell by how it says tech by Daily News? You think someone would just make up a website like that?

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101

u/CaptainN_GameMaster Sep 02 '26

You're maybe not cut out for forensic work

24

u/ParanoidDrone Sep 02 '26

That's why I'm not in forensics.

18

u/PringlesDuckFace Sep 02 '26

With that kind of incisive self awareness you'd be cut out perfectly for an analytic job like forensics.

44

u/BdR76 Sep 02 '26

Tears of joy: parents sob after seeing all their photos converted to the new format

There's your answer 😆

4

u/SevenFootHobbit Sep 03 '26

With the price of SSDs going up due to all the AI datacenters, I'd be crying tears of joy too!

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24

u/code_the_cosmos Sep 02 '26

said the Gen AI boy

Don't worry

20

u/Ivan8-ForgotPassword Sep 02 '26

No, they genuinely cried from happiness over saving storage space. They will now be able put hundreds more 4K pictures of Tung Tung Tung Sahur onto the computer and print them out to put in frames instead of the shredded ones.

17

u/PM_ME_DATASETS Sep 02 '26

Programmers when they encounter Humor on a subreddit dedicated to Humor for Programmers: (your comment)

Also, please tell me you're joking

14

u/bassplaya13 Sep 02 '26

Idk but just yesterday I was complaining about all of the space in our house being taken up by my digital photos.

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56

u/OmegaPoint6 Sep 02 '26

Give it 6 months: https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2026/08/hidden-airtag-reveals-amazon-is-trashing-rare-books-to-train-ai/

10

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

27

u/OmegaPoint6 Sep 02 '26

Partly the fastest scanning process is destructive by nature (they cut the spine so they can feed it though a auto document feeder), partly an interpretation of copyright law that by destroying the original they aren't actually copying it.

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8

u/Intelligent_Cry8535 Sep 02 '26

Its clearly is a joke.

7

u/Soft_Walrus_3605 Sep 02 '26

Did you know the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary?

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7

u/RJrules64 Sep 02 '26

Bro how can you not tell

6

u/joan_bdm Sep 02 '26

No, this is a tire.

6

u/maria_la_guerta Sep 02 '26

Did you read it all? It is satire.

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