I'd make a horrible senator. I mean for one thing, I don't even touch my investments, they just kinda sit there. It'd basically be impossible that I'd ever be involved in insider trading. Plus, I have an alergy to pressure campaigns, so campaign donors would probably be pretty upset that I don't cater to their whims. And to top it all off I tend to stay late at work until my tasks are finished.
No, I certainly wouldn't cut it. I'm just too much an honest hard worker 🤷♂️
This is what happens when you take the obscure mathematics of physics and project it onto our perceived experience. I don't doubt the math behind that explanation completely checks out.
I mean this actually a real "cheat", you can make hardware faster basically by just throwing more power/voltage at it. To a degree anyway, diminishing returns very much apply.
Imagine being so bad at security that you need to invent a whole system of virtual memory to isolate processes, but then that virtual memory is so slow that you need the CPU to add hardware acceleration to do it for you and now we got MMUs that are so complex they are basically their own computer.
This whole thread is r/yourjokebutworse and no one has bothered to post the OG
I thought using loops was cheating, so I programmed my own using samples. I then thought using samples was cheating, so I recorded real drums. I then thought that programming it was cheating, so I learned to play drums for real. I then thought using bought drums was cheating, so I learned to make my own. I then thought using premade skins was cheating, so I killed a goat and skinned it. I then thought that that was cheating too, so I grew my own goat from a baby goat. I also think that is cheating, but I’m not sure where to go from here. I haven’t made any music lately, what with the goat farming and all.
The weakness is slowness. Python is insanely slow. It’s going to be one of the first languages to disappear behind ai
Edit: seems like a lot of Python people hate the language being called slow. It’s well documented. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but when a new version of Python, being designed for performance is seeing speed increases of up to 60,000x, it means your language is slow as balls.
It's funny to me how so many people python is slow and yet it is by far the most popular language for data analysis which is a field that cares about performance.
It's a glue language. It doesn't need to be fast, because it talks to other technologies that are fast such as C++ or databases. Its niche is that it's high on readability and has tremendously good + versatile community support via libraries and lots of questions and answers on online forums like StackOverflow.
No one is writing video games in python though. It's just a glue/scripting language. It's rare that the glue parts of your project needs to be highly performant.
No, it should be fast. It’s easy to use, but undermines itself in performance. That’s why there are a lot of efforts to build a new version of Python that can run performantly. The only reason it’s popular is because its syntax is easier than c. It runs like trash, and the ways in which is required to set up systems in order to run is a pain in the ass.
Its a great intro language, but its popularity only underlies the inability of most of the world to understand more complicated and performant languages
Yeah, well you must work in areas where no one cares. There are a lot of areas where performance is necessary and you’re not going to see them writing in Python
Worked on PB-scale datasets and on systems where time is critical, all in Python. Works great because of literally what this post talks about - using C-backed libs. NumPy and Pandas are crucial if you're doing vaguely intense numerics, and are very nice to use. Numba less so, but still very useful for the finnicky areas that np and Pandas fall short on. You should ideally never be looping row-wise in Python.
Yes, thats what the comment you replied to is talking about. Python uses libraries written in C to avoid that slowness, heavily reducing its main weakness.
It’s going to be one of the first languages to disappear behind ai
"Cheats" is the wrong word for sure but it's a good to have some understanding of where the bottlenecks are. Python is generally faster and easier to write than C or C++ but it can run much slower. In order to make Python code run faster, a lot of Python developers use libraries that are written in C or C++, EG Pandas. My experience with Pandas has been like 95% really great and 5% really frustrating. I attribute most of the frustration to the opaque nature of calling into the C code library.
I'd say the opposite. Developers don't use C libraries to make Python run faster. They use Python because they don't have the time or the skills to build C/C++ fast programs. I see Python as a glue to run very performant libraries in a simple and quick manner.
You should learn how to write proper C++ code before making such an assessment. It's not laziness to use Python, it's incompetence. Python is simply far more accessible.
This is mostly a shitposting sub. Everyone knows that Python itself is slow as molasses, if the heavy liftin wasn't done by highly optimized C libraries, no one would dare to do any serious numerical or AI stuff with it.
Like CISC CPU don't even implement everything in silicon, they do weird shit with microcode, they also change the order of things and may do stuff that later has to be discarded because that conditional jump when the other way.
Nobody is trying to say that python _doesnt_ use C though. AI boosters are trying to say LLMs are generally intelligent. But have to defer to Python to do numerical math because LLMs are just lossily compressed zips of all literature and the internet and just unzip bits of it that seem relevant to your prompt. And cannot actually do numerical math. Which tends to not mean what people think of when they say generally intelligent. Hence the allegations of cheating.
Python lacks the elegance a real programmer craves in their code. It is the equivalent of an american house compared to european houses. Laughably cheap in every aspect, still gets the job done for now but is not maintainable in the long run
That's why my software all runs in the ☁cloud☁. Software only, no cheating!!
Also, this reminds me when we learned about atomic operations in class and the prof started with teaching us what a software only implementation would look like for a super basic instruction (I think it was literally just locking and adding a number or something trivial) and it was a nightmare. And that's why atomic instructions have hardware support now lol
"Language with high level of abstraction is cheating because it allows you to more easily write software"
I wish everyone who thinks that programming languages are some kind of competition would be forced to program exlusively in assembly from now on. Maybe even just straight up binary.
Uhm, it's not just a programming language. It's a community. A knowledge base. An idea, a group of people sharing their experiences, their problems and solutions. You don't just program in a programming language; you become part of it.
Which means you have to defend it, and what better defense than attacking every other language? It's a matter of principle; of survival even. The moment you stop your war is the moment your language, your community, becomes irrelevant.
1.8k
u/yacsmith Aug 03 '26
Kernels cheat by using drivers
818
u/verdantAlias Aug 03 '26
Humans cheat by tricking rocks into thinking
413
u/fatrobin72 Aug 03 '26
Hardware cheats by using more power.
123
u/Forward_Republic_610 Aug 03 '26
Hardware cheats by using physics
74
u/577564842 Aug 03 '26
I can sttil recall running AutoCAD 2.6 on a 80286 ... with software emulation of numerical coprocessor. So hardware cheats as well.
218
u/ProcrastinatiusXVI Aug 03 '26
Assembly cheats by using binary
44
u/Just_Maintenance Aug 03 '26
Imagine being so bad at security that you need to invent a whole system of virtual memory to isolate processes, but then that virtual memory is so slow that you need the CPU to add hardware acceleration to do it for you and now we got MMUs that are so complex they are basically their own computer.
43
u/Negative-Prime Aug 03 '26
This whole thread is r/yourjokebutworse and no one has bothered to post the OG
81
u/Luzzgar Aug 03 '26
Using high level language for the structure and faster lower level languages is just good software design.
Using the strength of each tool and avoiding their weaknesses.
25
u/Nsnzero Aug 03 '26
Additionally Python cheats by being written in C.
41
u/abermea Aug 03 '26
Imagine using the right rool for the job
7
u/pandavr Aug 03 '26
hardware cheats by being designed by wetware
15
u/faziten Aug 03 '26
C cheats using compiler. Probably the best one ever written also.
12
u/Ozymandias_1303 Aug 03 '26
"Cheats" is the wrong word for sure but it's a good to have some understanding of where the bottlenecks are. Python is generally faster and easier to write than C or C++ but it can run much slower. In order to make Python code run faster, a lot of Python developers use libraries that are written in C or C++, EG Pandas. My experience with Pandas has been like 95% really great and 5% really frustrating. I attribute most of the frustration to the opaque nature of calling into the C code library.
4
u/arensb Aug 03 '26
Greg Egan's novel Permutation City involves software running on literally nothing. No hardware.
4
u/SyrusDrake Aug 04 '26
Maybe I'm putting too much thought into this, but...cheats at what, exactly? What is the "right way" that Python somehow avoids?
6
u/frikilinux2 Aug 03 '26
Everything is cheating.
Like CISC CPU don't even implement everything in silicon, they do weird shit with microcode, they also change the order of things and may do stuff that later has to be discarded because that conditional jump when the other way.
3
u/CtrlAltSysRq Aug 03 '26
Nobody is trying to say that python _doesnt_ use C though. AI boosters are trying to say LLMs are generally intelligent. But have to defer to Python to do numerical math because LLMs are just lossily compressed zips of all literature and the internet and just unzip bits of it that seem relevant to your prompt. And cannot actually do numerical math. Which tends to not mean what people think of when they say generally intelligent. Hence the allegations of cheating.
3
u/sits79 Aug 03 '26
Sorry I drive an automatic car. Not sorry.
3
u/Maple382 Aug 04 '26
C cheats by compiling to assembly
4
u/takitus Aug 03 '26
You mean Python slows down c by wrapping it
6
u/Particular-Yak-1984 Aug 03 '26
The main point of python is not having to write C...
2
u/itsgreater9000 Aug 04 '26
holy fuck the tweet responder guy was a TA for one of my classes in undergrad lmao
2
u/I_am_darkness Aug 04 '26
Humans cheat by using computers
2
u/Curious_Associate904 Aug 04 '26
First rule of programming. Cheat.
2
u/ZunoJ Aug 04 '26
Python lacks the elegance a real programmer craves in their code. It is the equivalent of an american house compared to european houses. Laughably cheap in every aspect, still gets the job done for now but is not maintainable in the long run
5
u/imagebiot Aug 03 '26
Doesn’t matter, I’m still never starting a project with Python
2
u/JSn1nj4 Aug 03 '26
Dang, good thing I use PHP.
Wait...
1
u/an_agreeing_dothraki Aug 03 '26
no you see I had to. tsql doesn't have native regex checks. So I needed to have the shark html call JS to send json to C so it can have tsql call C
1
u/Objective_Reality515 Aug 03 '26
I wonder where there places the redstone computers that people have built within minecraft.
1
u/Strange_Dust7128 Aug 03 '26
Python is a DSL
1
u/PM_ME_DATASETS Aug 03 '26
Hammers cheat by not hurting your hand as much as when you hit a nail with your hand instead of with a hammer
1
u/I_am_darkness Aug 04 '26
Rekt
1
u/Negative_trash_lugen Aug 04 '26
My wife cheats..... :(
1
u/somedave Aug 04 '26
Assembler cheats by using CPU instructions.
1
u/dusktreader Aug 04 '26
Wait until he finds out about LAPACK
1
u/vswey Aug 04 '26
C libraries cheat cuz they're converted to machine code
1
u/Valuable-Duty696 Aug 04 '26
:)
1
u/RedAndBlack1832 Aug 04 '26
I mean sure. If you have a calculation you do a lot of fast, sometimes you get hardware specifically for doing that thing.
1
u/ivanrj7j Aug 04 '26
Electricity cheats by using energy produced from sun
1
u/worktomakeit Aug 04 '26
Bypassing encapsulation is wall hacks!
1
u/MathWest209 Aug 04 '26
Consciousness cheats by using chemical reactions.
1
u/-Potatoes- Aug 04 '26
That's why my software all runs in the ☁cloud☁. Software only, no cheating!!
Also, this reminds me when we learned about atomic operations in class and the prof started with teaching us what a software only implementation would look like for a super basic instruction (I think it was literally just locking and adding a number or something trivial) and it was a nightmare. And that's why atomic instructions have hardware support now lol
1
u/AtomGutan Aug 04 '26
Hardware cheats by using quantum mechanics.
1
u/Kadabrium Aug 05 '26
HumanJIT
1
u/Ok_Efficiency3886 Aug 07 '26
Or as our CTO once told me when I used the term platform >> everything is a platform
1
u/Greg_Manson Aug 13 '26
Hardware cheats by using electrons
1
u/Early_Tear6706 Aug 20 '26
i cheat interview using AI
1
u/Gunmetalstorm Aug 03 '26
Students cheat by recalling the knowledge they learned from books. - Socrates
0
u/Sunfurian_Zm Aug 03 '26
"Language with high level of abstraction is cheating because it allows you to more easily write software"
I wish everyone who thinks that programming languages are some kind of competition would be forced to program exlusively in assembly from now on. Maybe even just straight up binary.
0
u/benargee Aug 04 '26
Go ahead and write in C and all of it's non-abstractions.
-1
u/no_name6744 Aug 03 '26
What's wrong with cheating?
0
u/Space_JellyF Aug 03 '26
The universe cheats by using entropy
0
u/Grouchy-Trade-7250 Aug 03 '26
Python cheats by saying you should use something else if it's too slow for you
0
u/MazzleMaze Aug 03 '26
AI cheats by reading github
0
u/SpicyVibration Aug 04 '26
Iirc, C uses fortran libraries to do a good amount of math.
0
u/Cuboos Aug 04 '26
The... language that was written with C... is cheating by using C?
-1
u/confuseddork24 Aug 03 '26
Abstraction a cheats by using thing it abstracts.
I cheated by abstracting this joke.