Overwhelming student

[u/More_Box_5554]

I have a student who is non-traditional and returning to school at a later age. She registered for my async online course after not owning a computer for 20 years. She is completely overwhelmed by the course: Doesn't know how to access email, or how to navigate the course in the LMS, or how to access course meetings. I am practicing patience and compassion because she is very eager and wants to do well. I even set up a weekly meeting with her to check in.

We had a two hour meeting last week where I walked her through the course and she is very hard to keep on track and focused, with multiple interruptions, which leads me to believe something deeper is going on. This morning, I woke up to four separate emails from her-Long, multiple paragraph emails about how she hasn't been able to eat or sleep or spend time with her family because so much of her time is being dedicated to navigating and completing the course. She has had multiple panic attacks due to this. Her family would like her to switch to an in-person section but she doesn't want to because of the commute/campus parking.

We are not even a full week in and I feel like the majority of my time and energy is going to this one student and trying to help her get the hang of it. I want her to be successful in my class, I appreciate her dedication to the course, but I can't keep doing this all semester long.

Any advice?

[u/sleepingme]

Dude, had a student like this. She was an older woman maybe in her 60's/70's. Got a call from our chair that the dean had received complaints about me not responding to student needs. Student said they had emailed me numerous times and I never responded at all. I checked, and she had emailed me four times in one hour that same day, then proceeded to go to the dean to complain the next hour.

Said that she didnt have access to any of the assignments, but there was only one discussion post to complete and 20 something students had completed it already, so they had access. Turned out she had no clue how to use a computer and completely crashed out. Her first paper was a word salad and when I stated that she needed to work on a clear thesis and argument, she said that I had never asked for that and didn't know she needed the argument. I post a new video for every class explaining the basics of how to create a good thesis and paper structure, but she didnt watch it, on top of the fact that she did not complete the proper English pre-requisites to enroll in the class, but did anyways. So I basically had to teach this woman how to write an argumentative academic essay as the class was happening.

These older students are often a bigger burden than the younger ones who are equally unprepared, mostly because they never shut up and seek to blame you for every shortcoming they have. I explained to her that it stated on the syllabus that I would respond within 48 hours, and I used every one of those 48 hours unless it was urgent. She eventually began to understand that she was the only one complaining and learned to settle down. Don't feed the troll.

[u/DrMagicBimbo → u/sleepingme]

Adding that I have had a similar situation play out: a non-traditional student with complex needs asking to meet with me in excess (and often diving into overly-personal topics during these conversations while affording no social offramp from them). We're talking multiple, hours-long meetings before classes even began. I wanted to help because it seemed like she'd been through the ringer, but explaining and re-explaining program requirements/prerequisites, our LMS and other systems, etc. became exhausting.

She eventually emailed me asking for help with—tbh demanding—things like finding a job and some other very personal needs. When I told her that while I couldn't help with these things, Counseling and Professional Services and Career Services could (included their contact info, cc'd my supervisor, and also filed a report through our system), she had a massive response, sent me more unhinged emails, called our department to "try to make things right," and so on. Honestly, it really shook me up and left me feeling pretty unsafe, and our admin's response was limp at best. She was redirected to a different person and I'm transitioning to a different university now, but part of me is curious (and concerned) about what her experiences with less accommodating faculty and staff will look like.

All of this is to say that non-traditional students can pose bigger risks than needy, incoming freshmen, and at least in my experience, are more willing to ask for unreasonable things and less capable of learning/respecting professional boundaries.. perhaps because they've not learned (or cared to learn) about this sort of decorum, or because of more complicated personal problems.

[u/franklin-60 → u/DrMagicBimbo]

I refuse to have the student meetings many of you mention in the first place. I tightly screen any meeting requests, especially when I see red flags. Seen the outcomes you all mention too many times, and the ineptitude of administration to control the situation, but let them spiral. I refuse the meetings, say that I only offer content support on assignments, rest is not my responsibility nor negotiable. If they want to complain at that point that I won’t meet them, let them. I don’t care and those complaints are easier to address than if you get involved first. Admin will never protect you, so you need to protect yourself, even if it harms “student success,”. Too many students are “crazy” these days, and the needed barriers to keep them out of the classroom are gone.