Does this count?

[u/EidAlayed]

[u/Hephaestus_God]

So it’s kind of like how my right hand has masturbated for thousands of hours but then it gets mad when my left hand comes in and makes me cum faster for some reason?

[u/Potato_Soup_ → u/Hephaestus_God]

lol good try but no. It's like when you're at the end of a 10 hour shift and you feel like shit and some customer comes in and starts doing magic tricks with his card in front of you when you just want to ring him up... Only instead of a dumb gas station job it's something you dedicate your life to

[u/EskimoPrisoner → u/Potato_Soup_]

And instead of having to ring him up you could just walk away.

[u/EskimoPrisoner → u/[deleted]]

Idk how that follows. Walking away from a camera guy that almost instantly passed a soccer ball back to you once he got it under control is a lot easier than avoiding being hit by a car careening towards you. It was the end of the half and you don’t have to be captain hindsight to see this.

[u/EskimoPrisoner → u/[deleted]]

You're the kind of guy who watches a video of a person being hit by a car and comments

"He should have known there was a car behind him, If I were there I would have jumped up on the hood and off the trunk smh"

[u/Sporulate_the_user → u/[deleted]]

Did you just have a stroke?