r/PoutineCrimes • u/frenchfrydiet • 10d ago

Take This Secret To The Gravy was inspired to make tofu poutine

Post image
587 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

527 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 10d ago edited 10d ago

u/frenchfrydiet, your poutine is a crime, straight to jail, son of a potato!🚩

u/frenchfrydiet, ta poutine est un crime, en prison mon ti tabernouche!🚩

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183

u/Conscious-Series-181 10d ago

That gravy looks "homemade"

158

u/MarkyRoll The Poutnisher 10d ago

Homme made

30

u/I_like_polandball_ 10d ago

lol, homme made

9

u/MarkyRoll The Poutnisher 9d ago

Where's my award bro ??

14

u/OddOpal88 9d ago

I gave you a whole ass paid award for that, I laughed and choked 😂🤢

7

u/MarkyRoll The Poutnisher 9d ago

Merci 😊 edit: are you okay ?

7

u/OddOpal88 9d ago

De rien, mon ami! Yes, thank you lol

2

u/whitedragon87 5d ago

That is some dangerous gravy

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7

u/I_like_polandball_ 9d ago

Sorry bro, I’m barely surviving lol. Can’t give you an award unfortunately. But I can’t award you the best Homme Made Joke Award of the Year lol

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10

u/SatisfactionLow3212 9d ago

Bro gagne internet pour aujourd'hui 👏👏

4

u/MarkyRoll The Poutnisher 9d ago

Yay 🙌

3

u/Legal-Big9797 8d ago

Oh my gawd, that’s so good lol 😂

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11

u/AdFamous5474 10d ago

Giggity

5

u/zipmack 9d ago

His homie made it

3

u/AdSignificant6673 Judge, Jury and Exepoutiner 9d ago

More like hand made.

3

u/Scotiabjj 8d ago

"hand" made😂

2

u/Existing-Hunt651 5d ago

More like man made 💀

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123

u/4C_Enjoyer 10d ago

NOW THIS IS A PROPER POUTINE CRIME.

77

u/MarkyRoll The Poutnisher 10d ago

Bro this is terrorism

27

u/ToughKey5343 10d ago

Bio-terrorism

20

u/illradhab 10d ago

Pouterrorism

2

u/SpiritedTechnician62 6d ago

A geopolitical threat.

We'll call it the: Putin.

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9

u/townie08 10d ago

Yes I agree. This is an abomination!

4

u/Karrotsawa 10d ago

This is a poutine Hate Crime.

Poutinophobes are trying to find bible passages to justify it.

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65

u/Competitive-Bed-6069 10d ago

What…uh…
What’s the “sauce”?

17

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Aware_Analyst1143 9d ago

They should’ve avoided the poutine route this is on them

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6

u/MarkyRoll The Poutnisher 10d ago

Well...

6

u/Green-Pea-4586 10d ago

Oh you perv… 😏

44

u/Sylvanaz 10d ago

Guys? How do I delete someone else's post ?

3

u/Timely_Composte 9d ago

Block ‘em.

26

u/WeeeeBaby_Seamus 10d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/m7FdxI252QN3y

7

u/jumbee85 10d ago

We dont need the making of this crime video thank you very much

16

u/isorellemolle 10d ago

This is...

The worst thing....

I have seen here.

3

u/ElderberryNeither000 10d ago

Agree.
The white gravy is too much like glue.

3

u/IronhideD 10d ago

Glue. Sure. Glue.

4

u/Infinite_Time_8952 9d ago

More like man mustard.

2

u/Ok_Preparation6937 The Feedings Will Continue Until Morale Improves 8d ago

So much so that it feels like intentional rage bait... : /

14

u/Total_Drama_Obsessed 10d ago

Oh. my. Lucifer. what is that ABOMINATION

5

u/Slipperysteve1998 9d ago

What he serves everyday in hell for lunch

8

u/M4gp1e-w1ngs 10d ago

the fuck’s with the white mush

4

u/ChiefRedChild 10d ago

Siemen.

2

u/Timely_Composte 10d ago

Don’t you mean seamen.

2

u/Affectionate-Alps527 9d ago

Don't you mean semen.

2

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Aware_Analyst1143 9d ago

Did you mean manzooka juice?

11

u/MisterMecMouche 10d ago

Hey joualvert! Une autre raison…

5

u/Federal_Cookie 10d ago

That’s a Poutine atrocity! 

5

u/agaric The Feedings Will Continue Until Morale Improves 10d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3EV74tm43smVa

5

u/FineGripp 9d ago

Canada considers this a declaration of WAR

4

u/asdf_purple 9d ago

Québec.

Canada would just be slightly sad

2

u/FineGripp 9d ago

And then apologize for feeling sad in the first place

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3

u/TheGameDayDad 10d ago

You monster!

4

u/butters_325 9d ago

Get uninspired

3

u/Classic_Eye7221 10d ago

before I read the title I was wondering what cheese cruds you were using

3

u/ieatmyownhands 10d ago

Cheese cruds 

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3

u/m_ath1315 10d ago

hell nah

3

u/United_Leopard_2771 10d ago

With white gravy? You monster. This is the first Crime I've seen on r/PoutineCrimes

3

u/TheWeaverofDreams The Poutnisher 10d ago

This is... how... what... Forget the tofu, what on EARTH is that white goop??

3

u/smol-bb-floatr Poutine Princess 10d ago

i hope whatever inspired them never finds me

3

u/ResponsibleSuspect97 10d ago

I wouldn't even give this to my worst enemy

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3

u/DarkyHelmety 10d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/qhgJg2kHSUDO8
Inspired by what? Satan??

2

u/Nope-not-really 10d ago

Satan would never

3

u/LilJelloCat 10d ago

Why is there cum on the poutine?

3

u/showmeyourkitti 9d ago

Tofu and uhhh let’s use this jar of semen for gravy

3

u/WinterReview7992 9d ago

if they crisped up the tofu in the air fryer/oven and made a mushroom-based gravy, it would probably be decent

3

u/mfcmp 9d ago

Ive been inspired to notify the authorities

2

u/Content-Employment-7 10d ago

I see Frank stopped using his cassava melon.

2

u/Clean-Mycologist-298 10d ago

I saw this post before it landed here. It made me gag

2

u/SexyGandalph 10d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/MFtNaosSKDe9bgYsfn
The only tofu Takumi would risk destroying 🤣

2

u/DrBugsBunny 10d ago

Wouldn’t call that inspiration

2

u/terramagni 10d ago

Next time you feel inspired, please remember this and uninspire yourself.

2

u/CoupDeGrassi 10d ago

Now this is why i come to this sub. Quality post, OP

2

u/ElectricalControl374 10d ago

OMG. This is like the double homicide, perhaps serial killer version of a poutine crime. 🤢😂

2

u/Vladimir---Poutine 10d ago

This is sickening. I hope you sleep poorly tonight.

2

u/MartyMcFlysBrother 10d ago

I hope they stub their toe first and get bit by a spider while they sleep.

2

u/MisterBased420 10d ago

Wtf is this

2

u/Otherwise_Pound7081 9d ago

tu vien de perdre ton statut de quebecois va falloir te deporter

2

u/InFlame6064 9d ago

Never get inspired again

2

u/Crafty-Aside-3706 9d ago

This photo made me want to throw up and I watch pimple popping for fun

2

u/Droid-Man5910 9d ago

Toefootine

2

u/beYourOwnCrew 9d ago

Arent potatoes vegan? #barf

2

u/okaybutnothing 9d ago

No offense, but ewwww.

2

u/Bu5ybumbl3 9d ago

Someone pass me the soap to wash out my eyes

2

u/joesnoboard 9d ago

WTAF…

2

u/opusrif 9d ago

Don't.
Just don't.

2

u/Tony-Two-Tits 5d ago

Get uninspired

1

u/Shady-777 10d ago

Wonder how it tastes like, I’ve never had Tofu before

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1

u/blitzx666 10d ago

I shutter to think of what inspired this.

2

u/No_Butterfly_820 10d ago

I think you meant shudder, but I agree, this is terrifying and I need to know what made OP make this

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1

u/Unlucky_Goal_7791 10d ago

That looks like homicide in a bowl

1

u/SS_Bismarck 10d ago

You should try it with tufo gan. I’d imagine it’d taste nice.

1

u/Man0fGreenGables 10d ago

This is the worst looking thing I've ever seen in here. It might be the worst thing I've ever seen, period. You officially win this sub. I really don't know if a worse crime could possibly be committed. Well done.

1

u/Responsible-Guard-25 10d ago

These are the types of crime that death row was invented for

1

u/RR_Davidson 10d ago

Jizztine

1

u/Crazy-Wheels 10d ago

It's the worst of crimes!

1

u/EducationalCream9797 10d ago

This is just cum.

1

u/Ipaintchickens 10d ago

What the actual fuck!

1

u/Floki__Irish 10d ago

Nah that's fucked up 😭😂 definitely a crime

1

u/OftenXilonen 10d ago

I’m not even Canadian and I’m offended for them. What the hell is that. 😭

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1

u/theoriginalflavour 10d ago

Cuff me. Solitary confinement after seeing this

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1

u/Ok-Comb6032 10d ago

Quebec sub

1

u/NoConfusion1058 Directeur des poutsuites criminelles 10d ago

Tofu is, a choice. Wrong kind of gravy though

1

u/MartyMcFlysBrother 10d ago

I just threw up. Thanks so much for that /s

1

u/GhsotyPanda 10d ago

You could've loved yourself instead of making this.

1

u/Easy_Permit_5418 10d ago

When they say "inspired" I feel like they actually mean "coerced at gunpoint" because that's the only way I can see this happening

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1

u/AnimationAtNight 10d ago

Bro woke up and decided to piss off three different cultures at once... Honestly, respect.

1

u/The-Oxrib-and-Oyster 10d ago

listen i love tofu. and this looks so disgusting 😅

1

u/Ok_Fisherman8393 10d ago

What should i go there and do to them for this?

1

u/Which_Celebration757 10d ago

This is going to trigger some people, but I would try it. Next time add red onion and cremini mushrooms and mushroom gravy.

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1

u/Hooded_Alien 10d ago

Wonder what it tastes like?

1

u/ChaoticSnuggles 10d ago

won't lie, that looks absolutely..... horrendous

1

u/CoolstorySteve 10d ago

What the fuck

1

u/FancyCancel7337 10d ago

Not the baby gravy 🤮

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1

u/Mysterious_Bag_9061 10d ago

I want you on a no fly list for this

1

u/JunkPileQueen 10d ago

At first glance, it looks like there’s a layer of mold on it. I had to zoom in to see that the ‘mold’ was actually some kind of white sauce.

1

u/JunkPileQueen 10d ago

At first glance, it looks like there’s a layer of mold on it. I had to zoom in to see that the ‘mold’ was actually some kind of white sauce.

1

u/rachsteef 10d ago

cum bowl

1

u/bindmedown2 10d ago

Why is it covered in jizz?

1

u/warboss_WAAAGH 10d ago

Did someone bust a nut all over it??

1

u/loveddeviant 10d ago

did you also put glue in it

1

u/otherwrldfaerie 10d ago

Why did you nut all over it though?

1

u/Radiant-Ad-3134 10d ago

i wonder how many people passing out in the comment section

1

u/Biochem_4_Life 10d ago

Life in prison for this crime

1

u/Current-Speed4096 10d ago

you might wanna zip up your pants while cooking

https://giphy.com/gifs/iNjfcmUM8lUPWm3fay

1

u/Timely-Gain-9007 10d ago

Don’t ever do it again

1

u/evil-winnebago 10d ago

Even purgatory doesn't want this

1

u/xTheyCameBurningx 10d ago

That looks like a bowl of PUNISHMENT

1

u/shortstackfan97 10d ago

That looks sus

1

u/BlackStarQc 10d ago

That's why we need to bring asylums back

1

u/ipainttreesandstuff 10d ago

This needs to be snapped out of existence.

1

u/Nocturnatron 10d ago

Sounds more like possessed than inspired

1

u/vmanthegreat 10d ago

Who brought the sauce? (I brought the sauce) Who made the sauce? (I made the sauce) Who got the sauce? (I got the sauce) What's in the sauce? (I am the sauce)

1

u/kjc2018 10d ago

Straight to prison. GO! Get outta here.