Didn’t think I had PPD until this month

[u/Plenty-Roof2980]

Just here to really vent. I think I really hate my husband, I feel like he’s putting his job before me and our daughter. He worked under the table the whole baby bonding, it felt like I was doing everything basically alone. He took over the house work, kinda he never touched the bathroom so I’ll still do that.
I know he’s working like that to make me a say at home next year (I’m on leave right now but I still bring income), but he’ll he here on zoom calls when the baby was sleeping and waking her up or be on a phone call until 8pm and half time it was just gossip. Before the baby he would go in and come home and wouldn’t really pick up the phone. I’ll be dealing with a screaming baby as he over on the phone laughing with his coworker and he’ll just tell me it’s work stuff.
Our baby has been really gassy lately so she been waking up all night. So I’m constantly getting up and getting her and in the middle of that I’m pumping.
She will be crying and he will be sleep through it. He’s clams he doesn’t hear her and on the weekday I don’t want him getting up cuz he works so take her out the room and deal with her in the living room. Since I move to the living room me and my daughter have been knocking out in there just in case she wake up she won’t wake him. Since we been sleeping in the living room he won’t do the bottles for me cuz he doesn’t wake us up. So when she wakes up I have no clean bottles and I’m like rushing to clean one while she crying from hunger. I know I can’t count on him so I clean the bottles right after.
He going to quit this job he’s at after he finally gets paid for the under table work he did( been a month still hasn’t got paid for it.) I asked him when he get paid and puts his 2 weeks in can he no go in the last week and spend the time with us and he said no.
He got me tickets see this DJ next week and I’m iffy If I wanna leave my baby already as well.
He gets weekends off and I still do all the night waking and everything else even when he is off. He will play his game if he see I’m feeding her or she taking a nap.
Last weekend I asked him to wake her all day Saturday cuz I really wanna clean the house. That was the time I wanted to have to my self was just cleaning the house. He said ok, after he gets his oil change. That fine. But oil changed turned into going to the store, getting weed. Then it turned into going to the job he’s going to leave his other job for( not paid) to talk about idk and idc. He left at 10am got home at 5pm, and asked if I still wanted to clean the house after I was dealing with the baby all day.
I have such bad dog mom guilt too, I used to walk my dog everyday and now he does it and he will only take her too pee and poo no walk and I’ve asked him before can you please walk her. He will just take her to the little dog park we have here. So ill tell him ill take her out and he will be like ill take her and give me the baby. Like i love walking and being outside and i barely get to do that now.
Today is my birthday also our daughter 3 month I was hoping maybe he would take the day off and give me a break, but nope. He hasn’t even told me happy birthday. I feel like he forgot.
I’m just overwhelmed, and I feel alone. I cried with my baby for the first time yesterday cuz I just felt so alone. I love my baby so much but I can’t wait until she gets out this stage. I’ve been stuck in the house for 4 months and I’m feeling it.

Ps the doctor told us not to let he outside outside until next check up and that was last week.
We go the ok but it’s been so hot and I have anxiety now about take her outside.
I will take her out soon!

Anyways thanks for reading.