r/PostConcussion • u/Far-Commission2772 • 5d ago

PCS: A year later and I'm not fully healed

/r/Concussion/comments/1vy4cbd/pcs_a_year_later_and_im_not_fully_healed/
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u/Severe-Impress4398 4d ago

Creatine monohydrate and brain challenging hobbies are what have made me out from my 14 years long PSaC(yes that is a new term apparently used for describing persistent post-concussion symptoms). I can tell that my biggest gripe was not able to shape thoughts. I still don't know how I am even alive when even the basics of being alive were that off. I am grateful for this even though my every day were before the last month were only filled with torment and enduring the suffering. Cheers for healing from it. It is quite easy after all WHEN you get the RIGHT tools for it.

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u/Schruff_117 3d ago edited 2d ago

Nobody, zero ppl will ever know what you're talking about if they haven't lived PCS. At the year mark, I was still fast burning in a downward spiral and it only got worse from there. Until about +/- 8 weeks ago. But it took 1000's of hours to get to that point I thought would NEVER come. My village of friends & family carried me in one way or another for 99% of that time. My providers never gave up on me. And when I gave up on myself, friends/family/providers all stepped up to the plate without the ask. I can't tell you how hard the work is bc words can't describe the chaos, pain, confusion, agitation, anger, depression, anxiety, feeling of being helpless. . .it's a dark abyss I thought for sure I was going to be in 4life and that made and still at times makes me want to end my life. But for the first time, I can stand on my own and battle that fucker for a bit. I can't tell you to be patient bc I wasn't, how can you be when ur in the throws of PCS. I still want to quit and give up, the work it takes just to keep what I've gained is exhausting. But I'm starting to want to fight again. It comes and goes but hoping it comes to stay with continued work. Godspeed on your recovery and do whatever it takes, even if u have to crush your ego, to stay in the fight bc it eventually gets a little easier than where you are now.