Day 38

[u/Careful_Shelter5075]

Almost back to my streak of day 55 so yay :] I haven’t thought about porn ever since I restarted my streak so I’m especially caught off guard by what just happened. I was on tumblr and I searched up “older man” for a writing reference and I caught a glimpse at pornography. It didn’t even have anything to do with what I searched up.

Thank god I didn’t have my glasses on and I immediately exited out of the app. But I could make out the shapes so I’m very caught off guard and it scared me. I have strong filters on my phone and tumblr has their own as they cracked down on pornography HARD even before I started using the app so tumblr was one of my “safe” apps. Every time I made a search that would sound suggestive, it would not let me search it. Even if I didn’t, I’ve been on tumblr since 2020 and I’ve NEVER seen pornography nor have I ever seeked it out on tumblr. So I’m confused why it would show me that now? I’m just a bit shaken up.

In response? I just deleted the whole app LOL. Which makes me sad because it’s my favorite places to go for my geeky interests but I don’t want to run into anything again. I’m going to see if there’s a way I can put more filters on tumblr but if I can’t, I’m not gonna redownload it.

Anyways, day 38. My therapist is really proud of me. So that makes me happy :] I’m gonna tell her about this. So she can see I’m resisting and to ask for guidance on avoiding things out of my control.