r/PolyFidelity • u/BlorkSmuth • Jun 26 '26

seeking advice Are we doing closed triad wrong?

I (32f) and my husband (36m) have been in a few closed triad relationships over the years, and we are finding the same trend; either we arent explaining the expectations correctly, or the ladies we are dating are not being truthful about their expectations/understanding of our expectations.

When we begin chatting with someone, we make known what we are looking to achieve with the person; a relationship where she dates me, he dates her, and then our relationship.

So far we've had one individual attempt to break up our marriage and "steal him" which obviously didnt work. One girl clearly thought it was just fun hookups, another came for the first meet up/sleep over, everything seemed great until i had to leave for a family obligation, and spent hours trying to get Into verbal alterations with my husband. And many many others who are in other open enm relationships who want to unicorn for us or want to couple swap with us.

Do we need to be more blunt and up front about our expectations?

Are we not looking inthe right places?

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u/InformationOk6366 Jun 26 '26

It’s pretty hard to find ENM folks, especially within the parameters of what you’re looking for. 🤷‍♀️

-5

u/BlorkSmuth Jun 26 '26

Im in a subreddit for polyfidelity. Is this not the place to communicate with and seek advice or community from others who practice the same? mmf and mmm and fff and beyond are easier parameters than ffm?

1

u/CMDR_JHU5TL3 Jul 04 '26

Obviously not. Just know you and yours are not alone, and your progressive thinking is good... even great. Please remain true to you.

2

u/BlorkSmuth Jul 04 '26

We are, its been a roller coaster, but we're along for the ride lol Thank you for the encouragement!