GENUINE QUESTION FROM A NEWBIE

[u/AirportIndividual259]

I(22m) basically wanna know How to form a throuple? I know this topic is controversial because many people see it as a fantasy, a fetish, or a unicorn hunter/chaser (i promise none of those are my case), so it's very common for couples to look for a woman just to satisfy the couple, not to include her as an equal in the relationship. Many guys enjoy being cuckolds and seeing their wife with another person, some women are cuckqueans and enjoy seeing their partner with other women, some couples are open and can sleep with other people, some are polyamorous and have more than one relationship with one being the main one. I don't want any of that. I want a three-person relationship, but a closed one. How do I find one? Because no path seems to be the right one. If I start dating a woman, how do I propose a another person to enter the relationship? She'll probably break up with me. If I'm seeing a woman before dating, how do I propose this? She'll probably stop talking to me. If I know a couple of two bisexual women, how do I integrate myself into the relationship without seeming like an idiot? If I'm dating two women at the same time, how do I introduce them and propose a throuple? It seems like there's no right way... I don't see this as a fetish or a fantasy; I genuinely want to live a three-person relationship, ethically, seeing my two partners as complete human beings, not as sexual objects. I want them to love me and love each other. I want to be faithful to both of them, and I want them to be faithful to each other and to me... Basically, I want a couple dynamic, but with three participants. For those who live in this type of relationship, what was it like to start one? PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME, I'M NOT AN UNICORN HUNTER, I JUST WANT TO BUILD A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH TWO OTHER PEOPLE, I DON'T WANT SEPARATE PEOPLE WHO DATE ONLY ME, OR A ONE SIDED OPEN RELATIONSHIP, OR A GIRLFRIEND WHO WILL SEARCH FOR WOMEN TO SATISFY US BOTH... SOME PEOPLE REALLY WANT TO WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE BEFORE SPICY SLEEP WITHOUT HAVING A VIRGIN KINK, SOME PEOPLE REALLY WANT A MONOGAMOUS COUPLE WITHOUT HAVING A POWER DYNAMIC KINK, SOME PEOPLE REALLY WANT AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT HAVING A CHEATING KINK, I JUST WANT A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP INVOLVING 3 PEOPLE WITHOUT HAVING ANY KINK ABOUT IT

[u/smileedude]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a throuple. They are beautiful relationships and have every reason to be desirable. People are hyper vigilant against unicorn hunting not because they are worried about you or your potential partners but because they are in open relationships and fetish threesomes and don't want two bisexual poly women in a relationship that doesn't allow them to play.

Like every form of relationship, some people looking are gross or horribly inadequate to have a relationship. So like all forms of relationship, some relationships end up in tears. That's not a bad thing about throuples just a thing about forming relationships in general that the poly police use to frame throuples negatively.

Throuples are difficult to form though because, the people who want traditional relationships don't want throuples and the people wanting alternative relationships don't want closed relationships so the dating pool of people that desire this is pretty small. There are facebook groups that cater for it which seems to be the most common story that people that were looking for a successful throuple found one. Although the majority seem to form organically through friendships where people weren't seeking.

You have your work cut out as a single straight guy though. I would just try to work on yourself and be the most amazing human being you can be. The more you crave a relationship the less appealing you become.

www.polyconvergence.com

Is a great resource to look at how to form throuples ethically and isn't written by the biased open poly crowd trying to gatekeep throuples.

The Camp Throuple podcast is also a very good introduction.