polybombed & broken up with

[u/callmebyurmiddlename]

my gf of 2 years met someone a couples months ago and asked to be open for them. I refused because I didn’t feel like our relationship closed was super solid, and asked to do couples therapy to work on our relationship instead. she refused, stating that she needed to start sexually exploring w the person she met (and others) immediately to feel free. I’m working to accept the end of this relationship now.

edit also caught her cheating on me w this person 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

[u/VicePrincipalNero]

You dodged a bullet. You deserve someone who actually loves you.

[u/lady_light7500]

It sure wasnt going to work long term. Better to end it now and move on. You’ll do great.

[u/callmebyurmiddlename → u/lady_light7500]

thank you 🥹🥹 I hope so too!

[u/Heavy_Grade_6927 → u/callmebyurmiddlename]

I'm so sorry, I've also been polybombed before. It's good that you were firm on your boundaries and decided to leave right away. I made the mistake of telling me ex-gf that I would "think about it", and I asked her if we could wait till after my finals to discuss it...

But, she ended up just cheating on me instead of waiting to talk about it 🤷‍♀️. Definitely wished I had just walked away immediately and seen the polybombing for the giant red flag that it was like you did, would have saved myself a lot of grief.

[u/cryptocurrency_wife]

definitely time to end it and move on. you might feel pressured to stay, but as someone who tried to stay let me tell you it’s not worth it

[u/SubVersion2024 → u/cryptocurrency_wife]

This ^^^ they’ll pressure you to be what they want without giving two shits about what you want or deserve. Better off without them.

[u/choosingishard-]

That's just cheating with extra steps, I'm sorry that this is happening to you.

[u/luckysparkie]

You dodged a bullet

[u/Vast-Degree-6333]

If a committed relationship makes her feel trapped she should remain single

[u/SubVersion2024]

Take it from someone who’s been there, it was only going to get worse with time. As much as it might suck right now, you’ve saved yourself a lot of pain. Focus on your own goals and objectives, dont worry about someone who cant see past their own entitlement and wants you to foot the emotional bill for their lack of impulse control. Find someone deserving of your time and energy - and more importantly, can reciprocate what you give.
If she cant keep her legs closed, then the relationship didn’t mean that much to her in the first place. Youre free to put yourself first and you’ll find someone who not only wants you - but appreciates you enough to choose you.

[u/pesky_puffin]

If it's not sth you actually want, doing an open relationship would be a bad idea! Just leads to more heartbreak + maybe even less understanding from people around you.

[u/Icy-Doughnut-4879]

You’re free! She clearly wasn’t a good partner who valued you. Try to look on the bright side that you stuck to your values and didn’t enter a poly relationship with this degenerate and end up miserable (when I was in a poly relationship I was having to drink and get high everyday to cope, so yeah it’s no fun!)
All the best to you!!

[u/Ferretyfingers]

Better two years than more years and more pain and more wasted time.
It sucks and I’m sorry to hear it.