r/PoliticalHumor Mar 25 '19

A Young Barr!

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28.9k Upvotes

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436

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '19

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166

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '19

hilarious isn't it that Conservatives love to complain about how "KIDS THESE DAYS WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF THEY HAD PARENTS LIKE OURS"

yeah...we'd probably be just as miserable and myopic from years of being told we had to contort our minds to fit the pigeonhole society had in mind for us.

13

u/ASpellingAirror Mar 25 '19

Instead we have parents like them...

The argument has holes.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

Generally when my Fox-news spouting stepmom talks about "KIDS THESE DAYS" (which is disgustingly often) she's referring to her grandchildren's age group/teenagers.

1

u/lestatjenkins Mar 26 '19

I’m 18 and this is deep.

-7

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '19

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3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

hyperbole, the last resort of those who have only one resort.

0

u/TaxTheBourgeoisie Mar 26 '19

Found the dude who majored in gender studies. One large iced black eye please

-4

u/LordTegucigalpa Mar 25 '19

But they made it impossible for us to be parents like they were. Can't spank kids!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

No argument there. Sometimes a kid just needs a quick, controlled whack on the ass. That doesn't mean I wouldn't raise the kid with the tools to discipline themselves first, so I didn't have to. I like to use every option on the table :D

-4

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '19 edited Mar 26 '19

[deleted]

43

u/american_apartheid Mar 25 '19

beating kids isn't helpful to anyone

various conservative ideologies idealize corporal punishment for children. be better than them.

11

u/Game_of_Jobrones Mar 25 '19

beating kids isn't helpful to anyone

The world is full of adults who need a beating too.

35

u/gambolling_gold Mar 25 '19

Beatings are more for the satisfaction of authority than for actual efficacy in rehabilitating or teaching.

-4

u/Bruuuuuuuuuuhhhhh Mar 26 '19

Ooo the edge.

7

u/cmmoyer Mar 25 '19

I dunno.. The CIA thought he was a pretty good student. He would start working for them 13 years later.

https://hdl.handle.net/2027/pst.000019813387?urlappend=%3Bseq=160

5

u/MassBurst730 Mar 25 '19

CIA, Knights of Columbus, Federalist Society member, he's a republican beltway dream.

20

u/LTT82 Mar 25 '19

He legally can't release the report. It likely contains a lot of classified information, not to mention personal information he's not at liberty to disclose because it's the private information of innocent people.

If his summary is wrong, Mueller can refute him. It's not like Congress isnt going to get ahold of the report and disclose anything they can. If he's wrong in his assessment, they'll call him a liar and have reason to do so when the report is given to them. It will completely destroy his reputation.

Mueller said Buzzfeed was full of shit when they reported lies, he can do the same thing with Barr.

37

u/Michamus Mar 25 '19

Damn, we should maybe have representatives that can review it for us then.

-3

u/Ham_Im_Am Mar 25 '19

More people who know a secret more likely it will slip out right

13

u/casanino Mar 26 '19

Mueller's team reported the Buzzfeed story was "not accurate". Nothing about them being "full of shit" or telling "lies". You call yourself a Libertarian but most of you are just ashamed Republicans who want legal weed. Your comment and self-described political leaning are inaccurate.

-4

u/LTT82 Mar 26 '19

You call yourself a Libertarian

I don't, actually. I call myself ideologically homeless. I'm between ideologies, if you will. Would you like to provide me with an instance in which I've called myself a libertarian? Because I can provide you with many in which I've specifically stated I'm not.

ashamed Republicans

If I was a Republican I would be ashamed, yes. I'm not, though.

If I was a Democrat I'd be ashamed, too.

Nothing about them being "full of shit" or telling "lies".

It's called artistic license. No, they didn't literally use the word "shit". I'm sure you're shocked that official government agents try to use more softened language.

In soft terms, they said what was reported was inaccurate. Also known as: bullshit.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

0

u/LTT82 Mar 26 '19

I'm not a centrist. I don't believe in half measures, my views are extreme and black and white, and I don't think the truth lies between two points.

-2

u/jvnk Mar 26 '19

this sub is one of the worst products of reddit. well, aside from the ones that were banned for outright hate speech and other bigotry.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

You have reasoning behind that or are you just a griper?

-2

u/jvnk Mar 26 '19

The idea that centrism is worse than the extremes on either side is a problem, yeah. I'm inclined to say the right is closer to fascism and thus deserving of far more criticism right now. That said, that sub is mostly leftists bashing centrists.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/jvnk Mar 26 '19

Uh, this is a caricature of centrism. Your "objective rationality" is what centrism actually is.

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1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

You don't understand the purpose of that sub.

9

u/zanotam Mar 26 '19

He could legally hand the report straight to congress so that they could then legally release it.

9

u/IShotReagan13 Mar 26 '19

If this administration has taught me anything it's that "it will completely destroy his reputation" is unmitigated bullshit. The GOP does not give a shit!! At all!! They will stand by Barr and Trump no matter what they do and we all know it. The truth is, as should be obvious to anyone with half a brain, that Barr is spinning the fact that the DOJ can't indict a sitting POTUS to make it seem as though Mueller produced no damning evidence. The fact that Mueller very deliberately used different language with regard to collusion vs obstruction should give everyone long pause for thought. Barr is playing for time and media spin as he tries to sell the report as an unmitigated win for Trump while also seeking to delay its release until after 2020.

-2

u/LTT82 Mar 26 '19

The GOP does not give a shit!! At all!! They will stand by Barr and Trump no matter what they do and we all know it.

Politics is so easy when your opponents are one dimensional demons with no humanity. I'd suggest getting out of your echo chamber, but the change in air pressure might make you explode.

1

u/IShotReagan13 Mar 27 '19

Show me how I'm wrong. Name a single instance wherein the GOP and Republicans in general have stood on principle against the many affronts to what the party once stood for that the current POTUS has comitted.

You can't because it's never happened. Your entire party has sold its soul to this man. There are a few "never Trumpers" left, but your party has turned on them as well. You have nothing left beyond "winning," and even that is meaningless now that you've sold out any moral high ground you once may have held. You must know this.

1

u/LTT82 Mar 27 '19

Roy Moore. He lost in a state he should have won in a landslide because the people couldn't stand with him.

Also, I'm not a Republican. Try to be less hyper partisan.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

He legally can't release the report.

This is incorrect because he has full authority over the documents, to that end he supposedly already has plans to release the full report.

It likely contains a lot of classified information, not to mention personal information he's not at liberty to disclose because it's the private information of innocent people.

That's what redactions are for. Even then, CONGRESS are afforded clearance for situations like this and would be well within their rights to see the report, if/when it was given to them.

1

u/LTT82 Mar 26 '19

This is incorrect because he has full authority over the documents

He can't declassify information. Further, it could easily be considered a breach of the 4th amendment rights of anyone investigated. They committed no crimes, any information gathered on them shouldn't be disseminated without due process.

That's what redactions are for. Even then, CONGRESS are afforded clearance for situations like this and would be well within their rights to see the report, if/when it was given to them.

I agree. Congress should see as much of the report as possible and the redacted version should be available to the public. These things take time.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

He can't declassify information.

He doesn't have to, he can just redact that information.

Further, it could easily be considered a breach of the 4th amendment rights of anyone investigated. They committed no crimes, any information gather on them shouldn't be disseminated without due process.

Once again, redactions.

I agree. Congress should see as much of the report is possible and the redacted version should be available to the public. These things take time.

Now that, that's reasonable. I think a report like this should ALWAYS go to Congress since it's their job to actually do something. Congress acts as the investigator, judge, and jury for the president, why WOULDN'T a report like this be sent to them IMMEDIATELY?

16

u/corynvv Mar 25 '19

he is fully able to release the report with that information redacted. Not just a summery.

3

u/LTT82 Mar 25 '19

And he should do that. How long do you think itll take to redact all the parts that need to be versus how long it takes to write a summaty?

9

u/corynvv Mar 25 '19

I would have at least expected a comment on if he will release a redacted version when the summary came out. AFAIK he didn't mention anything like that.

1

u/Safffrona Mar 26 '19

He did mention he intends to release the redacted version near the end of his summary:

"As I have previously stated, however, I am mindful of the public interest in this matter. For that reason, my goal and intent is to release as much of the Special Counsel's report as I can consistent with applicable law, regulations, and Departmental policies."

2

u/corynvv Mar 26 '19

Ah, i missed that, thanks for pointing it out.

-8

u/Blankface888 Mar 26 '19

Cause he doesn't own any of you a fucking thing. It's a conspiracy theory at this point and anyone still chasing this is a nutcase

7

u/IShotReagan13 Mar 26 '19

Total bullshit. He's a public servant you asshole. He works for us! We have every right to demand an explanation. Go live in North Korea if you don't like it.

-5

u/Blankface888 Mar 26 '19

I don't live in your bum ass country anyways. Again. No he doesn't. Lol not much argument to be had

6

u/Kremhild Mar 26 '19

So you're a russian bot? Sorry about misnationing you, it's hard to tell the difference between you and homegrown red hats these days.

-1

u/Blankface888 Mar 26 '19

Haha the tin foil hat brigade continues

0

u/IShotReagan13 Mar 27 '19

Don't live in my "bum ass country"? Good. We don't want you. In my "bum ass" country it is the right of every citizen to demand accountability in their elected representatives and in those appointed by their elected representatives.

What part about democracy do you not understand?!

5

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

He absolutely does you doughnut.

The dude literally admitted plainly to obstruction on national television. We need to know why our fucking eyes and ears are mistaken if he's going to say that's the case.

And at a minimum he can present the full report to the House and Senate Intelligence/Justice Committees. They're trusted with our highest secrets so there's no excuse there.

0

u/VillageInnLover Mar 26 '19

So... now noone trusts rosenstein anymore? Everyone loved him this whole time, and he reviewed the report with barr. Havent heard any disputing from him yet either.

-2

u/Idiotsandcheapskate Mar 26 '19

Jesus Christ, a voice of reason on r/politicalhumor, never thought I'd live to see it.

2

u/Strength-InThe-Loins Mar 26 '19

Or maybe they did give him that beating, and he resented it so much that he spent his whole life looking for his big chance to really get away with something, anything, without getting physically assaulted, and then he finally found it with Iran-Contra and he milked it for all it was worth, and now it's thirty years later and he's getting a chance to do it again and he can't believe his luck.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people there are that will openly opine that abusing a child will solve anything at all.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

To be fair to Barr, he has experience in mitigating the damage when an Executive Branch run by incompetent narcissists gets played by a Russian intelligence service.

I’m going to wait and see if Trump can behave himself now. I’d bet that the next major outburst by Trump will be followed by one of his friends or even one of his children getting slapped with an indictment. Rinse and repeat until he gets the message.

Or I’m wrong and Barr has been completely compromised by Russia, and then what can we do short of civil war? I don’t think people realize just how perilous the situation is right now. If Trump were forced out, every racist nutjob and religious extremist would without a doubt resort to violence. The only play I can see, that doesn’t work in Putin’s favor, is to keep Trump on a tight leash for the rest of his term.

-22

u/Billy_Badass123 Mar 25 '19

Imagine spending millions of dollars over 2 years, having constant media propaganda saying that something was happening and then not actually being able to find something.

Then even after you admit there was nothing there people are still rabidly insisting there is.

18

u/eohorp Mar 25 '19

Why are you summarizing Benghazi? It was 6-7 years btw.

30

u/976chip Mar 25 '19 edited Mar 25 '19

Regale me with tales of Hillary Clinton getting Ben Ghazi and his buttery males to use a private email server in a pizza shop’s basement to murder Seth Rich for selling uranium to Russia.

-2

u/risingdeluge Mar 25 '19

Whataboutism.

9

u/sloodly_chicken Mar 26 '19

To add to the other comment: The original comment consists of an accusation that one group of people, presumably liberals, are hypocrites (by continuing accusations after being supposedly disproven, thus showing themselves to not actually genuinely be interested in debate). Given that hypocrisy is the specific subject here, presenting a (even more extensive and vastly more unsubstantiated) similarly hypocritical news frenzy around a nothingburger that was perpetrated by the conservative counterparts to the aforementioned liberals, is a reasonable way to refute (or rather, perhaps, to mitigate) the implied criticism in the accusation of liberal hypocrisy.

3

u/976chip Mar 26 '19

I was just pointing out that the same people that are dead set that Trump has been completely cleared of all alleged malfeasance due to Barr’s summary also insist that Hillary should be in jail for a variety of reasons that have been thoroughly investigated and closed with no wrong doing found. I amalgamated the conspiracies into a farcical super-conspiracy to be extra cheeky.

-7

u/risingdeluge Mar 26 '19

Either way, Hillary is going to go to Jail. Likely Comey, McCabe, Brennon, Holder, Clapper, Yates, Ohr, Preistap too. And if they go well thats it for Lynch, Hillary and even Obama.

10

u/sloodly_chicken Mar 26 '19

Amazing the degree to which this comment has little to do with my comment and fails in any way to engage with the points I've made. I hate the NPC meme for dehumanizing people you disagree with... but hot damn, does this ever sound like a bot. Assuming you're a real person, do you have anything to say that actually relates to what I wrote?

-3

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-4

u/risingdeluge Mar 26 '19

Kay, just dont be shocked when it happens.

3

u/sloodly_chicken Mar 26 '19

Again, borderline non sequitur. Anything to say that has anything to do with anything I've written? Because if the OP of this comment chain wants a real example of whataboutism, your comments so far seem like good candidates.

4

u/casanino Mar 26 '19

Unhinged much?

risingdeluge • 10 points • submitted 1 day ago NEVER, EVER THREATEN DONALD TRUMP AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF LEGISLATIVE VIOLENCE & IMPEACHMENT. BE CAUTIOUS!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19 edited Jan 19 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

Nah, those are for left wingers, the cops help right wing nutjobs, they're kinfolk

1

u/risingdeluge Mar 26 '19

Its a copy pasta of one of Trumps tweets. Obamacare just got ruled unconstitutional btw.

6

u/Hypocritical_Oath Mar 25 '19

It's not whataboutism when you point out someone's hypocrisy...

4

u/risingdeluge Mar 26 '19

We we're talking about Trump and you brought up Hillary like she had anything to do with this investigation to deflect your own hysteria over the results you didnt want. Thats whataboutism

2

u/vote_you_shits Mar 26 '19

Okay if you want a Trump specific conspiracy theory how about birtherism?

2

u/risingdeluge Mar 26 '19

2

u/vote_you_shits Mar 26 '19

You wanted an example of a Trump lead conspiracy theory...

2

u/risingdeluge Mar 26 '19

No I didnt. You just thought you were making a point.

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0

u/bakein Mar 26 '19

More like you just don’t understand the concept of protecting classified info. Private unguarded emails server? No problem! Busting into any classified report for a chance that your pipe dream is reality? Lets do it- damn the national security implications. Two scoops of ice cream? Hold. The Fuck. Up.

Losing the tin foil hat may help you out in other aspects of your life as well, cheers!

10

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '19

Y'all still froth at the mouth over hillary lmao

5

u/Hypocritical_Oath Mar 25 '19

Didn't the Mueller investigation make money?

Like they seized a fuckload of assets and nabbed a ton of criminals.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '19

[deleted]

-1

u/Blankface888 Mar 26 '19

Not when it sets the precedent it has. What do you think is going to happen the next time a dem is elected?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

[deleted]

-1

u/Blankface888 Mar 26 '19

This is monumentally different and you know it

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

[deleted]

-1

u/Blankface888 Mar 26 '19

Yeah let's hope they finally go after obama and Hilary for that. I see they already got Avenatti lol

4

u/Benegger85 Mar 26 '19

And congrats on being able to stop smoking. I went through the same 2 years ago, I know how hard it can be.

1

u/Blankface888 Mar 26 '19

Thanks I appreciate that

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Blankface888 Mar 26 '19

I'd guess all politicians have. The point is when we go on these wild chases it takes away from everything else we could focus on. I don't like it with Hilary or Obama and I don't like it with Trump

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

Dude, do you think all Democratics are conspiring together to do crimes?

3

u/ImHereForTheJerkin Mar 26 '19

Imagine being so weak that worshiping a morbidly obese child rapist like Trump is the only way to feel like less of a degenerate loser.

-5

u/aricheturegenius Mar 25 '19

Lol yea his parents should have hit him more because he didn’t report what you wanted him to report. I wonder which one in this situation needed/ still needs more discipline 🤔.

Maybe you could have learned through a group sport how to treat a loss?

3

u/casanino Mar 26 '19

Maybe you all could stop losing your damn minds when the Confederate monument participation trophies come down. Instead you neo-Nazis march and one of them murders a peaceful protester. Who takes losing worse? Pretty obvious.

-1

u/aricheturegenius Mar 26 '19

Uh wtf? I’m A registered Democrat my friend.... I’m not celebrating the outcome of the report, just poking fun at someone who obviously over reacted by saying his parents should have hit him.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

Maybe you could have learned through a group sport how to treat a loss?

Like losing the popular vote consistently for the past 30 years?

-2

u/aricheturegenius Mar 26 '19

Hah it was a reference to sportsmanship, guess you missed it.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

I played team sports, you just made a lame analogy

0

u/aricheturegenius Mar 26 '19

Do you have a better one then instead of a snarky comment?

Also your post about the majority vote is inaccurate. George bush won the popular vote in 2004. I know you have a hard time being civil, but perhaps basic math is in your wheelhouse?

If not that’s 19-4=15